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An acquaintance is trying to get too close

I met a nice guy at a friend's recently. We (stupidly) connected on Facebook. My thought was more along the lines of "Ok, I'll see you again sometime. Have a great life!" However, since then (2 weekends ago), he has sent several messages, shared humorous things, and even the "How's your week going?" type messages. I don't think he is interested in me in some crush way, but maybe just aggressive as a new friend. How do I politely slow this down a bit? I really don't want to be rude, but I also don't want to chat all the time, or even hang out again, outside the mutual friend's presence. Do I just ignore this person? Do I politely say "I don't really have time right now to invest in a few friendship?"

DL is really the epitome of good manners and social norms, so I seek your advice here.

by Anonymousreply 104November 24, 2021 10:58 PM

Forgot to add - I don't have (or want) sizemeat verificatia, should that matter here.

by Anonymousreply 1October 22, 2021 1:16 PM

grow some balls and block him

by Anonymousreply 2October 22, 2021 1:21 PM

You in danger, gurl!

by Anonymousreply 3October 22, 2021 1:24 PM

If you have time to write a post like this on DataLounge but claim that you don’t have enough time for a new friend, you should check yourself.

Save the guy some time by admitting that you are a self-involved jerk that places no value in others.

by Anonymousreply 4October 22, 2021 1:27 PM

Stalkery people are creepy. Ghost it.

by Anonymousreply 5October 22, 2021 1:28 PM

Also, it's your own fault for still having a Facebook acct.

by Anonymousreply 6October 22, 2021 1:28 PM

Ignore him. Say you have FB Messenger but go months without checking it.

(You only have to do the above if you run into the guy and he asks.)

by Anonymousreply 7October 22, 2021 1:33 PM

It’s always the freaks that overdo it. A guy I know told me when he was a kid he moved to a new school. The first day there this kid’s all over him wanting to be his friend. So my friend was glad to know some there. It took a few days for him to realize that kid was all over him because he was a freak and all the other kids hated him.

by Anonymousreply 8October 22, 2021 1:39 PM

[quote]How do I politely slow this down a bit?

OP, if you don't already know the answer to that question, you should not be on social media.

Please tell us why you are supporting Mark Zuckerberg's businesses.

by Anonymousreply 9October 22, 2021 1:39 PM

You could just go ahead and hook up, if only to have an excuse to never speak to him again.

by Anonymousreply 10October 22, 2021 1:39 PM

[quote]DL is really the epitome of good manners and social norms

I genuinely snickered at that. My serious response would be that I would probably not answer or sporadically. Someone I went to school with emailed me recently. I never really liked them mostly because they made fun of me, and it had been at least 10 years since I'd last interacted with them. I just.. hit 'archive' on the email. I'm too old to humour people I don't really want to.

by Anonymousreply 11October 22, 2021 1:41 PM

Is OP an introvert?

by Anonymousreply 12October 22, 2021 1:53 PM

There’s nothing wrong with you not wanting to add a new friend to your life, especially if you put a lot of energy into your friendships and they are meaningful to you. (You aren’t a jerk!)

- Wait one week (not exactly, that’s suspicious) since the last time you responded in any way to his messages (including liking 👍🏼 anything).

- Send a very short message with a lukewarm tone saying “Just seeing this. Sorry, busy week and I don’t check this often. Hope you are well and I’ll see you around.” (No exclamation points that convey enthusiasm!)

- Don’t respond after that to any messages. Don’t even open them, if the app tells him whether you’re checking. Just let them sit as if don’t even give this a thought.

- Next time you see him in person, be cordial - say hello, how have you been - but keep the interaction short and as you leave, say something like “Good to see you, but I need to go catch up with my friend Bob over there. Bye!” Don’t let him barnacle with you around the party.

What you are trying to do is make obvious to him that he is in your acquaintance circle, not your friend inner circle. You can do this without making him feel like he got slapped in the face as long as he can pick up on social cues. If you do this well, he saves face (no explicit rejection) and you leave the door cracked open for him to become your friend after you get to know each other over a longer period of time.

by Anonymousreply 13October 22, 2021 1:53 PM

If he is totally without social sense and is the confronting type, then you’re dealing with a different animal. If he keeps messaging you, not a handful of times but many over a period of weeks, if he finds another way to contact you, then I would send a short message saying:

“Hey John, you are so nice to offer to get together but my life is in a hectic phase at the moment and I’m experimenting with making fewer social plans and keeping more time set aside for myself. I’m sure we’ll bump into each other at Mark’s house again and we can catch up then. Thanks, OP.”

Then never respond to any of his messages again. If he really is a stalker, he will take any response (nice, mean, angry, weird, neutral, etc) as positive feedback that he is getting a response from you, so it would be important not to give him anything.

by Anonymousreply 14October 22, 2021 2:07 PM

He needs a friend. Would it kill you to grab a coffee with him?

by Anonymousreply 15October 22, 2021 2:16 PM

tell him you're straight. he;ll retreat.

by Anonymousreply 16October 22, 2021 2:22 PM

It's very simple, no one's forcing you to respond to his every post. Simply ignore them and if you want to remain friendly respond on occasion when you have the inclination.

by Anonymousreply 17October 22, 2021 2:22 PM

Considering Halloween is around the corner, ghost him.

by Anonymousreply 18October 22, 2021 2:25 PM

He's obviously needy. Someone I had hoped not to run across again (we chatted once months ago, before he left town for the summer), resurfaced in my life this week. Didn't exchange contact information, but I had to really work hard at politely ending the encounter after quite a while.

R13 gives the best advice.

by Anonymousreply 19October 22, 2021 2:30 PM

You slow things down by not being so responsive. There's no need to be rude. Just don't respond to his posts immediately or respond by giving a thumbs up reaction or other such things. The point is, don't engage too often. But don't ghost him entirely. Life takes funny turns and you never know when you'll be glad he's around. Be kind, but be busy. You're making too much of this. And honestly, would it cost you so much to have a coffee with him every two or three months? Some people are absolutely evangelical about recruiting/collecting new friends, then there are those who are averse to it and resist. Whatever.

by Anonymousreply 20October 22, 2021 2:31 PM

Watch the cautionary tale that is Linda Tripp and Monica Lewinsky!

by Anonymousreply 21October 22, 2021 2:34 PM

[quote] Life takes funny turns and you never know when you'll be glad he's around.

Florence Shinn, in her book of advice, tells the story of a woman who found a male acquaintance incredibly annoying. After a while, however, he put her in contact with someone who was able to do her a great favor, and then promptly disappeared from her life.

by Anonymousreply 22October 22, 2021 2:35 PM

OP, tell the guy you have ALS.

by Anonymousreply 23October 22, 2021 2:41 PM

I do think it’s important to leave things open to develop with the relationship (absolutely true that life can surprise you!), but also that OP is probably picking up on signals and red flags that aren’t obvious to the peanut gallery here. OP, I say trust your gut unless you know you go overboard with stuff like this due to anxiety or avoidant tendencies.

by Anonymousreply 24October 22, 2021 2:44 PM

All Zers ghost everyone they meet, work with, work for, and fuck. Learn how to ghost, you stupid repulsive cunt.

by Anonymousreply 25October 22, 2021 2:48 PM

I thought as much too R24, because from the post ("I met a nice guy") it's unclear why the OP does not want to be friends with this guy.

Other missing details:

• Did he just move from somewhere else and doesn't really know anyone?

• Did he just get out of a long-term relationship and is looking to make new friends?

• How does your friend know him and what is their relationship?

• How old are all of you?

• Was there something more than being a "nice guy" that you connected on, e.g., both big fans of Cher (hey--it's DL), both went to the same college, work in the same field?


by Anonymousreply 26October 22, 2021 2:49 PM

Both fans of Cher? You certainly are the most cliched stone age gay, with the prolapsed anus to prove it.

by Anonymousreply 27October 22, 2021 2:52 PM

You're so full of yourself, OP! I'm sure it's not what you're thinking at all. If you looked out your window right now, you might be surprised to find one of his formers trying to warn you about this love 'em and leave 'em guy!

Offsite Link
by Anonymousreply 28October 22, 2021 4:50 PM

Is he gay, OP?

by Anonymousreply 29October 22, 2021 5:45 PM

OP, can I have your stuff?

by Anonymousreply 30October 23, 2021 3:35 PM

Any updates, OP?

by Anonymousreply 31October 24, 2021 2:42 PM

OP said he was meeting a new friend for coffee 4 days ago, and no one has seen or head from him. He hasn't used his credit cads and calls go straight to voicemail.

by Anonymousreply 32October 24, 2021 2:45 PM

If he's hot, keep him. If not, ignore.

by Anonymousreply 33October 24, 2021 2:52 PM

I have ignored him. It really escalated quickly - numerous messages a day the first few days. Things like "Can you believe this weather? I think you mentioned you run, will you go running in this? I often think of taking up running. How do you stay motivated?" A few hours later, a completely new set of questions. The last one he sent, which I did not open, but could see the preview, was a picture of some outfit and asking me if I thought it matched and looked good together.

It's just very strange, because he seemed quite normal the evening I met him. My original friend has worked with this guy's sister for several years, and I guess they have met numerous times that way. The weirdo guy is apparently single, and I did not ask anything about whether he was gay or not. I don't really even want to ask, because that would probably mean my real friend, would then ask coworker (weirdo's sister), who would then tell this guy I'd inquired. I don't want him to think I have even the slightest interest in keeping our chat going in any way.

I've not opened or responded to any messages from him this entire week. I regret answering those first few, because it opened a floodgate.

by Anonymousreply 34October 24, 2021 3:05 PM

R34 I think you're doing the right thing, just ignore. I'm actually kind of getting borderline personality disorder vibes from this because they can get abnormally over the top full-on despite barely knowing you.

by Anonymousreply 35October 24, 2021 3:12 PM

R15 has obviously never had to escape from the clutches of an emotional vampire.

by Anonymousreply 36October 24, 2021 3:15 PM

I see a bit of myself in OP's stalker.

Sooo desperate to make friends. So needy.

I saw other people have it. why can't I?

I'm older now and happier. I pull back. I don't try to make things happen. I just let them unfold.

I still long for friendship but enjoy my own company.

And I have books I love to read.

by Anonymousreply 37October 24, 2021 3:21 PM

[Quote] “Hey John, you are so nice to offer to get together but my life is in a hectic phase at the moment and I’m experimenting with making fewer social plans and keeping more time set aside for myself. I’m sure we’ll bump into each other at Mark’s house again and we can catch up then. Thanks, OP.”

Love this from R14 and it's an example of DL being the epitome of good manners as OP states. This is perfect and I'm keeping this for future reference.

by Anonymousreply 38October 24, 2021 3:22 PM

Reading through these posts convinces me that r4 is spot on. OP doesn’t seem to have the grace or social savvy to come up with what r14 suggested…

by Anonymousreply 39October 24, 2021 3:32 PM

r37 me too. I feel I lack the gene that determines "appropriate getting to know someone else" behavior. I can be too intense at the beginning of a friendship, but it's almost like I can't help myself.  For example, I recently met a guy a little older than me (15 years) and clicked with him right away. We seemed to have a number of things in common. (Jury's stll out on whether he is gay or not. I know he's not partnered, but the topic has never come up beyond that.) He was incredibly kind and generous to me and listened when I talked about losing my mom to Alzheimer's. He'd been through something similar with his father. I got to be annoying, though, in my need to talk to him.

I don't know if my intensity was off-putting or not. I'm sure it was on some level though, and I also recognize that that intensity may have ruined my chances of a genuine friendship with this guy.

Not all people like the guy in OP's scenario lack self-insight. They might just not know how to behave in a healthier way.

by Anonymousreply 40October 24, 2021 3:38 PM

[quote] The last one he sent, which I did not open, but could see the preview, was a picture of some outfit and asking me if I thought it matched and looked good together.

Oh boy! OP I think you’re on the right track to not inquire about him or give any indication of interest.

R40 I am sure that must be hard. But I bet your willingness to put yourself out there has also led to friends and romances through the years that I’ve missed out on by being more reserved and not trusting new people. It might not be appealing to everyone but then what is?

by Anonymousreply 41October 24, 2021 4:03 PM

GTF off of Facebook!

by Anonymousreply 42October 24, 2021 4:06 PM

R37 Yes! Qween. Because books are the perfect substitute for human touch.

by Anonymousreply 43October 24, 2021 4:09 PM

R37 pretty much said what I have to add.

by Anonymousreply 44October 24, 2021 4:09 PM

I think I'm too aloof and discourage people from developing a friendship. I'm fine at medium sized social gatherings, but I avoid crowds and intimate gatherings make me shut down unless I've known the person a long time. I come across as distant or uninterested, when the truth is I'm very reserved and even shy. Not good at small talk. Now I do love the Avengers. So when a MCU movie comes out and people stat talking about it, I will join in enthusiastically. Too enthusiastically, and long after other people have exhausted the topic I'm still chattering and late I reflect on it and get embarrassed. I do that a lot too. I review my behavior and criticize myself.

by Anonymousreply 45October 24, 2021 4:22 PM

R45 this sounds like you are an introvert.

by Anonymousreply 46October 24, 2021 4:45 PM

R46, I don't enjoy being one. I feel bad all the time and have anxieties about it. I'm fine at work, comfortable, I can talk about work all day, but in a social environment it's a different story. I seem to miss social cues. There are lots of awkward pauses. Sometimes I will unintentionally intrude on a group conversation, like at a cocktail party, I wander up to say hello, and it's like I was interrupting something private. It makes me feel dumb. I'm old enough to have worked all this out by now. I'm 48.

by Anonymousreply 47October 24, 2021 5:03 PM

OP, you are making far too much out of nothing. Jesus! It is Facebook. No need for you to make any reply.

by Anonymousreply 48October 24, 2021 5:08 PM

I will block him when he asks to borrow money, otherwise there's nothing to fret about. And I believe this is OP's ego defence mechanism overreacting again.

by Anonymousreply 49October 24, 2021 5:28 PM

OP coming home from the market.

Offsite Link
by Anonymousreply 50October 24, 2021 5:47 PM

Breaking into groups can be a whole separate skill, R45, which doesn't always work well.

Throwing out the red flag that if you meet someone who seems to bond surprisingly well with you immediately, it could be a narcissist doing mirroring.

by Anonymousreply 51October 24, 2021 5:53 PM

R45, r47, I encourage you to get some reading done on what makes introverts tick. I think that you’re judging yourself way too harshly. Do your research. You’ll find out that solitude is your best friend and it’s how you get your energy.

by Anonymousreply 52October 24, 2021 6:43 PM

Take days to respond. He’ll answer within a heartbeat. Again, take days to respond.

You set the pace. If he really wants to be a friend, he’ll put up with it. If he’s frantic, he won’t.

Either way, you win.

by Anonymousreply 53October 24, 2021 6:44 PM

R43, believe me, I'd take a pal over a book any day but having seen myself in OP's admirer I have learned to pull back.

I now err on the side of caution.

My last experience was horrific; a sociopath kept pulling me towards him with one hand and pushing me away with the other. He'd share all kinds of intimacies with me -- problems with an ex, problems with changing jobs, that HE'D TRIED GAY SEX but didn't like (???) -- and then, act weird if I went to share something going on with me.

Right, when I decided I'd had enough and thought okay; I'm done, he'd pull me into a hug and call me buddy.

Then, he'd turn around and call me needy. Ultimately, I'm responsible for my own actions and I also feel crushees should not play mind games with people who are just looking for friendship.

by Anonymousreply 54October 24, 2021 6:56 PM

Still curious OP

• Has your friend ever interacted with this guy other than in a group with his sister?

• Is this guy new in town/recently out of a long-term relationship--something that would explain why he was perhaps overanxious to make friends? Or is he just sort of overly needy and socially awkward?

by Anonymousreply 55October 24, 2021 7:05 PM

Tell him you’re not interested or unfriendly and block. Don’t be a pussy. This passive aggressive shit of pretending you never check your account or leaving him to say hi to your friend Bob at a party is dishonest.

by Anonymousreply 56October 24, 2021 7:22 PM

R56 seems to be one of those who readily employ meanness or rudeness under the guise of honesty…

by Anonymousreply 57October 24, 2021 7:27 PM

R56 Mild dishonestly is justifiable if it helps someone and doesn’t hurt anyone. Here, it’s a way of letting the new guy know to stop trying without explicitly rejecting him.

by Anonymousreply 58October 24, 2021 7:30 PM

Do yourself a favor and close your Facebook account, or don’t come here whining for advice.

by Anonymousreply 59October 24, 2021 7:30 PM

Yes, I was just going to say: close down your Facebook account.

by Anonymousreply 60October 24, 2021 7:34 PM


Facebook is too modern!!!


We prefer delivering calling cards in person

by Anonymousreply 61October 24, 2021 8:46 PM

It seems r61 has a slow leak…

by Anonymousreply 62October 24, 2021 8:49 PM

So much DRAMA. It's not this big deal. You do not need to shut down your FB account (!), nor do you need to "politely say" to him "I don't really have time right now to invest in a new friendship," which is self-important.

He's trying to flirt with you, and you're not interested, so you just ignore him and don't respond to his emails. If he doesn't take the hint and keeps messaging you after a week or two, you simply unfriend him. Problem solved.

by Anonymousreply 63October 24, 2021 8:52 PM

R56 / R59, etc. and a few others have a very active imagination to have inferred much that is not there, and/or have odd anger issues.

Thanks to those of you replying with rational thoughts - much appreciated - was just curious to hear some feedback. I appreciate the non-psycho answers here!

R55 I'm really not even sure. I know he's interacted with the coworker/sister outside of work a few times, but I'm pretty sure he had never met the brother. Perhaps the sister just asked if he could tag along. I'm not even going to dig more into that, because I don't want it getting back to weird guy that there has been any conversation whatsoever.

Anyway, some cool replies here - thanks for that.

by Anonymousreply 64October 24, 2021 9:08 PM

R47 If you're still a clueless turd at your advanced age, you will always be that way. Just accept it and move on.

by Anonymousreply 65October 24, 2021 9:45 PM

Sometimes gay guys are "under-socialized" because of social media, interpersonal dysfunction and societal stigma. OP's admirer may not know how to initiate a comfortable acquaintance with someone. Social media encourages hot'n'heavy come-ons even if the user is only seeking platonic connections.

I am not on FB for this reason. There is no real social media etiquette. I have social anxiety and I am an introvert. I would write someone off just because I found the intensity of their approach unsettling. It is a reflex I have involuntarily developed due to the trauma of coming of age in the 80s. I would encourage OP not to automatically reject someone just because their approach is bad.

by Anonymousreply 66October 24, 2021 10:02 PM

Thanks OP

So we've learned he's not a good friend of your friend or even someone your friend has frequent interaction with.

So next unanswered question-- do you know whether he's mew to the area, recently out of a long-term relationship or something else that might make him more aggressive than usual to strike up a friendship.?

by Anonymousreply 67October 24, 2021 10:05 PM

R13 must be a descendent of Emily Post.

by Anonymousreply 68October 24, 2021 10:35 PM

OP just ignore the guy. If you somehow hear from him or his friends, tell them, "Oh, I never go on social media. I use a computer at work all day and I don't like to be on the computer when I'm home." If your mutual contact says he's been trying to reach you, say, "Who?" Play dumb and act like you've forgotten him.

by Anonymousreply 69October 25, 2021 4:39 AM

I once read in a book about Korea that too many Americans mistake friendliness for friendship. And while I think that's oversimplifying things a bit, it is true for people who are lonely and/or socially retarded. I don't think either applies to OP's pest, the guy isn't normal if he's bombarding you with multiple messages a day after one introduction. People like that don't get subtlety. Ignore, and block him from seeing anything you post on FB.

by Anonymousreply 70October 25, 2021 8:31 AM

OP is one of those nelly attention whores. I see a pattern.

by Anonymousreply 71October 25, 2021 8:49 AM

[quote]I once read in a book about Korea that too many Americans mistake friendliness for friendship

I believe it, r70

by Anonymousreply 72October 25, 2021 10:46 AM

Extended lies about letting him down gently are neither kind nor honest.

Telling him “gee, I’m soooo busy as never check my Facebook but would otherwise, totally be interests in what you are saying but oooh lookie there’s my friend Bob” is rude. To people who can read signals it’s obvious he repulses you. To people who can’t read signals it has him holding out false hope for a connection.

You have two options. Ignore him or ask him to back off.

by Anonymousreply 73October 25, 2021 11:06 AM

I don't know...maybe grow up and ignore him?

by Anonymousreply 74October 25, 2021 11:14 AM

[quote]mistake friendliness for friendship

R70, that is very well phrased! Thank you.

by Anonymousreply 75October 25, 2021 12:33 PM

He will NOT be ignored, r74!

by Anonymousreply 76October 25, 2021 12:39 PM

I feel invested in this story now.

Please keep us updated, OP!

by Anonymousreply 77October 26, 2021 1:18 PM

Any updates, OP?

by Anonymousreply 78November 6, 2021 2:04 PM

Yeah! What happened?

by Anonymousreply 79November 6, 2021 2:05 PM

Never, EVER have anything to do with anyone whose vocabulary contains the word, "creepy."

by Anonymousreply 80November 6, 2021 2:12 PM

OP, we deserve an update!

Did you get rid of him?

by Anonymousreply 81November 22, 2021 2:20 PM

Send him a pic of your micropeen

by Anonymousreply 82November 22, 2021 2:28 PM

This isn't difficult.

Just stop replying to his messages.

by Anonymousreply 83November 22, 2021 2:35 PM

Keep telling him you’re busy and if he doesn’t get the picture climb a ladder and sing a song about wanting to fuck a bad boy.

by Anonymousreply 84November 22, 2021 2:35 PM

He sounds like he’s on painkillers.

by Anonymousreply 85November 22, 2021 3:19 PM

This one is pretty easy. Just be like me and be shit at replying to messages. If it’s someone you don’t really want to speak to, just space your replies farther and farther apart and until they hopefully lose interest.

by Anonymousreply 86November 22, 2021 8:31 PM

Who wants OP's stuff?

by Anonymousreply 87November 22, 2021 9:59 PM

[quote]I think I'm too aloof and discourage people from developing a friendship. I'm fine at medium sized social gatherings, but I avoid crowds and intimate gatherings make me shut down unless I've known the person a long time. I come across as distant or uninterested, when the truth is I'm very reserved and even shy.

I am 100% like this. I'm just an introvert but because I can fake chattiness for short bursts of time to look normal, people are then shocked when I end up shying away from social encounters. I don't really have a lot of friends because of that, but I'm okay with spending time by myself.

by Anonymousreply 88November 23, 2021 5:01 AM

R88 Awkward cunts with zero social skills have no choice but to be by themselves. It ain't a choice.

by Anonymousreply 89November 23, 2021 1:50 PM

r88 you sound like me.

And r89 sounds insufferable.

by Anonymousreply 90November 24, 2021 10:36 AM

R90 I know you are but what am I, cunt. DL is filled with nothing but awkward introverts with zero social skills who live entirely in their imagination.

by Anonymousreply 91November 24, 2021 12:04 PM

[quote]DL is filled with nothing but awkward introverts with zero social skills who live entirely in their imagination.

Exhibit A: r91

by Anonymousreply 92November 24, 2021 12:07 PM

Janbot is on fire tonight. What an imaginative cunt you are. Cunt.

by Anonymousreply 93November 24, 2021 12:08 PM

How anti-social can you be OP? People have done that to me too. I answer when I want to and when I have time. Same with links. I may even send a link maybe once a month to those same people. Not like it's your boss where you have to answer right away. It's supposed to be a social network. Why is this hard? People message a lot on Facebook for various reasons including boredom, having nobody to talk to, or just being home a lot and working from home and taking a mental break. Maybe they think you may be interested in the links or a cool guy. So many people I rarely heard from before except when I saw them in person have started sending links, greetings, etc. One religious girl from work who is in PR sends me a bunch of news stories and pictures of her and her husband's trips...I answer when I feel like it and we talk maybe 3 times a year. Nobody will be offended if you reply a few weeks later except a total nutjob. Relax and go with the flow. I am pretty sure you aren't THAT irresistible to this guy. If he's not gay, maybe he thinks it's cool that he met someone gay and wants to get your view on some current events. My sister's friends, male and female, would send me "gay news" and I wasn't really offended. It's pretty cool that they are thinking of you at all. As long as they are cool, I answer when I get to it.

by Anonymousreply 94November 24, 2021 12:21 PM

LOl. No straight man ever wants or needs to know what gay men are "up to", sexually or otherwise. They are not fascinated by us anymore than we are enamored of their love of poking and or eating cunt.

by Anonymousreply 95November 24, 2021 12:39 PM

R95 - some straight guys in LA who are super liberal like to have a "gay pal". It's a thing. However, it's usually those guys that are majorly into politics and the environment and the types that volunteer in various campaigns or for diverse causes.

by Anonymousreply 96November 24, 2021 12:52 PM

R94 You sound retarded

by Anonymousreply 97November 24, 2021 12:52 PM

I was really trying to put some distance b/t myself and a close friend, so I avoided all communication until one day she got me when I was feeling guilty, and I caved and gave her the "I've been busy" excuse. But she really broke it DOWN for me.

She's said, "You can ALWAYS make time for people that you WANT to talk to." It wasn't an earth-shattering revelation, BUT it cut through my bullshit. So maybe you want to take a direct approach here.

I HATE having a conscience.

by Anonymousreply 98November 24, 2021 12:54 PM

Better than sounding like an asshole R97.

by Anonymousreply 99November 24, 2021 12:58 PM

[quote]grow some balls

Pics please.

by Anonymousreply 100November 24, 2021 1:02 PM

I didn’t write the post but R88 is me. Spot on.

by Anonymousreply 101November 24, 2021 1:10 PM

r101 and r88 - This is one of the many reasons I can usually be found with my nose in a book.

by Anonymousreply 102November 24, 2021 4:29 PM

I like books more than most people

by Anonymousreply 103November 24, 2021 10:37 PM

I think some people don’t pick up on social cues on social media. They take a response as an interest to continue the conversation. Now if I converse with someone and my response gets a thumbs up or an emoji with no further response, I don’t continue the conversation, because I assume they are either being polite or are not interested. The dynamic always reminds me of Spike and Chester, where one is trying too hard, and one could give a fuck.

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by Anonymousreply 104November 24, 2021 10:58 PM
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