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I Am NEVER Late and Now It's Causing a Problem!!

I just don't have it in me to be late for anything. I am almost always a half hour early for appointments (which sometimes is to my benefit-sometimes not). My ex (we're still close) knows this. Recently, he and his husband asked if I could drive his father-in-law to dialysis 3 times a week because it's close to my house and I agreed (I get $25 a trip). Today was my first day and, true to form I was there a half hour early for pickup and, consequently, he was a half hour early for his appointment (when I pulled into his driveway I told him I was happy to wait there the extra time, but he was having none of that). Later I get a text from ex stating that this is too early (he was texted by his brother in law about me dropping him off too early beforehand). I told him that I really don't have to be doing this at all and now it's become a thing! Some gratitude!

by Anonymousreply 53October 22, 2021 4:04 AM

6/10... not terribly divisive but credible enough to be possible. The huffing and puffing about gratitude is a nice touch. Or you're a self-involved asshole who isn't helping to help but to be adored.

by Anonymousreply 1October 21, 2021 4:41 PM

$25 a trip? Where I live the medical service charges $400 per trip.

by Anonymousreply 2October 21, 2021 4:43 PM

ONLY $25….. either do it for free or tell them to fuck off.

by Anonymousreply 3October 21, 2021 4:44 PM

No good deed goes unpunished.

by Anonymousreply 4October 21, 2021 4:47 PM

[quote]I Am NEVER Late and Now It's Causing a Problem!!

It could mean you're PREGNANT!

by Anonymousreply 5October 21, 2021 4:53 PM

Is there some reason why you can't just pick the man up at the scheduled time?

by Anonymousreply 6October 21, 2021 4:57 PM

R6, because I always make the extra time as a "cushion"-you never know what you're going to run into on the road and I would hate for him to be late for his appointment because of me or things that were out of my control.

by Anonymousreply 7October 21, 2021 5:02 PM

People who are always extremely early get some sort of self-righteous ego kick out of it.

It’s due to be late, but it’s also rude to impose on people by being excessively early.

I have clients who will show up an hour early—often with other people in tow— and loiter in our building. They get huffy when I don’t start their appointments early.

We specifically ask them to enter the building no more than 5 minutes before their appointment (covid protocols.) But they are hell bent on showing how virtuous they are, showing up so early!

by Anonymousreply 8October 21, 2021 5:03 PM

There are some fucking shenanigans going on in dad's house while he's out, and OP is frustrating them by dropping dad off 30 minutes early.

by Anonymousreply 9October 21, 2021 5:06 PM

Showing up early is not a virtue. Being on time is a virtue.

by Anonymousreply 10October 21, 2021 5:08 PM

OP, if you are worried about being late due to road conditions or circumstances beyond your control, if you do arrive early, do what most sensible people would do and wait in your car until it's time to get him. People are probably getting him ready for his appointment beforehand, or themselves. It is nice of you to do this but I agree, half an hour is too early. Would you go announce yourself at an interview a half hour early? I would not.

by Anonymousreply 11October 21, 2021 5:10 PM

Breach of contract.

You're being paid to collect dad at x time and drop him off at y time.

You're not fulfilling your contractual terms, so are in breach of them.

by Anonymousreply 12October 21, 2021 5:11 PM

I stated in my post that I would wait in the car, R11.

by Anonymousreply 13October 21, 2021 5:12 PM

So, when I don't drop him off at Y time because of construction or a car accident or something, I guess I'm still in breach, R12.

by Anonymousreply 14October 21, 2021 5:14 PM

[quote]People who are always extremely early get some sort of self-righteous ego kick out of it.

Amen... when you're entertaining being early is as bad as being late. Early and you're in the way of the last minute, late and you're buggering up the service.

by Anonymousreply 15October 21, 2021 5:15 PM

So go ahead and be early. BUT: Park a block away until the appointed time, and then pull in to the driveway. The old guy probably felt pressured to scramble and was being gracious when he said he’d have none of it. Poor guy has to be hustled AND try not to be a burden to everyone else.

by Anonymousreply 16October 21, 2021 5:20 PM

I agree, showing up somewhere that early is just as rude as showing up that late

by Anonymousreply 17October 21, 2021 5:22 PM

Such generalizing, R8!

I would never expect you to take me in early just because I showed up early and if your office states not to come in until 5 minutes before my appointment, I wouldn't-the fact that I am there early is completely on me.

I am glad I am not one of your clients. But, then if you run the whorehouse you get to make the rules.

by Anonymousreply 18October 21, 2021 5:22 PM

OP- It's just the first day. Talk it out. Obviously the old guy was fine with it. Timing isn't so crucial for dialysis, they do one thing all day long a few minutes either side isn't a big deal. I also prefer to show up 1/2 hr early and read rather than feel the stress of being late.

After every living Republican, 3 things I hate the most, Ex's , PITA old people and brother's in law.

by Anonymousreply 19October 21, 2021 5:22 PM

OP is an ass-clenched OCD. In the middle of this shitty pandemic, why would you want to risk catching some germs while being too early and having to wait in the hospital foyer for some treatment, especially people with stage 5 kidney failure? It's too risky. Common sennse must be so lacking in you.

by Anonymousreply 20October 21, 2021 5:27 PM

It's nice of you to help the old guy, but you've decided to make his life-saving treatment all about you. Now that you have everyone's attention force yourself to be on time and just be thankful it's not you needing the treatment. Grow up

by Anonymousreply 21October 21, 2021 5:30 PM

OP at R13, you pulled into the driveway. He knew you were there and didn't want to be rude and keep you waiting, so he came out to meet you and go ahead and leave for the appointment.

Don't pull into the driveway until maybe 5 or 10 minutes before you have to leave.

Unless you're really young, there's no reason for you to not understand the situation and be able to correct it quickly.

by Anonymousreply 22October 21, 2021 5:30 PM

I'm revising to 7.5... the low is showing signs of strengthening.

by Anonymousreply 23October 21, 2021 5:39 PM

OP's ex-BF asked OP this favor for the express reason that OP is never late. Now, it's a problem that he's early? Ex-BF and father-in-law can find someone else for this medical / transportation issue. Fuck off already.

by Anonymousreply 24October 21, 2021 5:42 PM

Five to ten minutes early is considerate. Thirty minutes early makes everyone but you anxious. Your offer to wait adds to his feeling he's a burden. Also, since medical offices assume people will be late, they program buffer time into appointments. Being 30 minutes early means nearly an hour of waiting.

If I were the patient, my ideal would be to seamlessly slip into other peoples' schedules. A car would pull up just as I stepped outside and I would arrive with 5 minutes to spare.

Use Waze to plan. You can set an arrival time for the dialysis clinic and add a stop at his house to get a to-the-minute drive time that factors in traffic. Leave 5-10 minutes before, if you like.

I work with clients who often arrive 15 minutes early. I'd prefer they were 2 minutes late. I get a kick out of slightly messy people and their harried excuses more than I do slightly rigid people and their schedules. Both groups are anxious, but in different ways.

by Anonymousreply 25October 21, 2021 6:03 PM

They are paying you, OP. You pay people to do things for you so you don't have to feel gratitude that they did them. If you were doing it for free, you would have a little bit of grace, but you are charging a fee so show up at the time they say and don't expect them to be grateful.

by Anonymousreply 26October 21, 2021 6:06 PM

$25 seems like a low amount. I'm assuming OP is picking up FIL, driving FIL to doctor, waiting for FIL to finish doctor's appointment, then driving FIL home, then driving himself (OP) home. Fuck that $25.

by Anonymousreply 27October 21, 2021 6:08 PM

It's a ride, not a blow job. Plus she gets all that smug self-satisfaction.

by Anonymousreply 28October 21, 2021 6:11 PM

I hate geeks that show up half an hour earlier than they should, for anything. Come two minutes before the schedule.

by Anonymousreply 29October 21, 2021 6:14 PM

What you do is arrive 30 minutes early, park around the corner, load up your 20 minute podcast meditation, do that, then go and pick him up.

by Anonymousreply 30October 21, 2021 6:16 PM

Do you get the feeling OP was that kid in class who tried to answer every question?

Offsite Link
by Anonymousreply 31October 21, 2021 6:18 PM

While I think that leaving so early in unnecessary, I'm still on the OPs side. I hate it when people ask for a favor then get picky about it.

by Anonymousreply 32October 21, 2021 6:22 PM

You don't pay for a favor. Unless you're a straight man married to a straight woman.

by Anonymousreply 33October 21, 2021 6:23 PM

That's why that $25 is the worst of both worlds. It's probably less than minimum wage, yet allows people to get bitchy about the service.

by Anonymousreply 34October 21, 2021 6:30 PM

It's a medical appointment, not a coffee klatsch. You don't show up 30 minutes early to a medical appointment. It's not "picky" to say that the patient needs to be on time, not 30 minutes too early.

by Anonymousreply 35October 21, 2021 6:31 PM

OP, you type German.

by Anonymousreply 36October 21, 2021 6:32 PM

You seem very desperate for attention, OP.

by Anonymousreply 37October 21, 2021 6:32 PM

R33 Driving someone around for below-market rate is a favor.

by Anonymousreply 38October 21, 2021 6:33 PM

You OFFERED to wait in the car, presumably after banging on their door a half hour early.

by Anonymousreply 39October 21, 2021 6:36 PM

R18, I described my specific experience with early birds. Which is the opposite of “generalizing.”

Do you know what “generalizing” means?

by Anonymousreply 40October 21, 2021 6:39 PM

[quote] I agree, showing up somewhere that early is just as rude as showing up that late

Agreed! Especially with guests. The host could be making some final arrangements and preparations, and now they have to tend to this early guest who is hovering around.

by Anonymousreply 41October 21, 2021 6:40 PM

My mother in law used to show up to parties super early, bearing some complicated dish she had prepared. She did it because she wanted the host to have time to ooh and ahh over what she had prepared.

Once we were all invited to brother in law’s snooty girlfriend’s Christmas party. It started at 8:00. We go to pick up my mother in law at 7:45 or so (party is 5 minutes away) and she’s practically in tears because she wanted to be there an hour early.

She was always “the earlier the better” type. No concept of other people’s schedules. I didn’t have the heart to tell her, “this isn’t the kind of party you show up early for.”

by Anonymousreply 42October 21, 2021 6:52 PM

Going to the doctor is not like going to a party. I'm assuming the doctor has a waiting room.

by Anonymousreply 43October 21, 2021 6:53 PM

Doctors, lawyers, dentists etc have waiting rooms. But they also have covid protocols. You don’t show up and “hang out” in office buildings these days.

by Anonymousreply 44October 21, 2021 6:56 PM

[quote] You don’t show up and “hang out” in office buildings these days.

And who wants to hang out in a waiting room?

by Anonymousreply 45October 21, 2021 6:59 PM

My office is in a building with other businesses. The businesses share a central waiting area / receptionist area.

I have clients who will breeze right past reception, go directly to my office and bang on the door 45 minutes before their appointment. I’m often with another client.

We tell people ahead of time: stay in the waiting area. Don’t show up super early. They don’t listen. Their needs are all that matters.

by Anonymousreply 46October 21, 2021 7:06 PM

OP -

You are ALWAYS early, and it’s causing a problem.

In your self-righteous virtue signalling about being early, you fail to recognise this is the flip side of being late.

Moderation, OP.

And being on time: not too early or too late.

by Anonymousreply 47October 21, 2021 7:07 PM

r7 I get it. I used to do this too.

But it's not cool turning up 30 minutes early. People rarely appreciate it and it's rude. It also makes you look insecure and awkward.

Aim for 10 minutes early - if you must - to give yourself time to collect yourself. And you can always text if 'something happens'.

by Anonymousreply 48October 21, 2021 7:09 PM

As other posters mentioned, the absolute stupidity of showing up and expecting to lounge around a waiting area for 30 minutes plus is breathtaking.

Are you aware there’s a pandemic?

Are you the kind of person who has to be told everything? And even when TOLD to follow covid protocols, you still show up early because you need the attention “being NEVER late” provides?

by Anonymousreply 49October 21, 2021 8:51 PM

I come from rural farming people. Their attitude is “start early, finish early.”

So they always think showing up early is a good thing.

Their jobs— manual labor— don’t tend to involve other people, or much coordination of people or resources.

They can’t really comprehend the nature of schedules, appointments, not inconveniencing other people. They just show up as early as they want and then get confused when this isn’t a good thing.

This obstinate simple-mindedness is infuriating.

by Anonymousreply 50October 21, 2021 8:59 PM

This was painfully obnoxious, OP, you Elephantine Sleazy Twat.

Tattoo this backward on your ample forehead and stare into a mirror: Being on time means not being OCD/passively-and-aggressively early.

And charging a former bf's father or the family per trip was a particularly ridiculous touch. "Elegant variation" is not a characteristic of veracity.

by Anonymousreply 51October 21, 2021 9:24 PM

R51 is Hannibal Lecter.

by Anonymousreply 52October 21, 2021 9:29 PM

Such problems.

by Anonymousreply 53October 22, 2021 4:04 AM
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