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I Just Mowed My Lawn

I hope it's the last time this season.

Libby my new next door neighbor has a son who works nights, so she asked me to mow early in the morning before he goes to bed.

But if I mow my backyard before noon, the grass is still wet and I can't really get a good cut.

Time for vodka.

by Anonymousreply 39October 21, 2021 5:55 PM


by Anonymousreply 1October 20, 2021 6:00 PM

You are obviously teasing us to inquire about a larger story, right?

by Anonymousreply 2October 20, 2021 6:05 PM

No two ways about it, OP. You’re going to have to kill your neighbors.

by Anonymousreply 3October 20, 2021 6:17 PM

Tell Libby she can mow your lawn whenever she feels like it - otherwise you will mow your lawn when it is convenient for you.

by Anonymousreply 4October 20, 2021 6:18 PM

A neighborhood doesn't revolve around the demands of one Frau. Now when it's convenient for you.

by Anonymousreply 5October 20, 2021 6:18 PM

Libby’s son needs to invest in ear plugs.

OP needs to invest in a spine.

by Anonymousreply 6October 20, 2021 6:25 PM

F ing neighbors

by Anonymousreply 7October 20, 2021 6:36 PM

Knock on the door so you make sure you wake the son up. Say loudly, but don't shout, "Looks like my lawn needs mowing!" Hand him a pair of ear plugs. Smille and walk away.

by Anonymousreply 8October 20, 2021 8:23 PM

Sorry 😐 this was went for the underwhelm me thread

by Anonymousreply 9October 20, 2021 8:28 PM

Tell us more about this son. Do he like bridge and Lhaso Apsos?

by Anonymousreply 10October 20, 2021 8:30 PM

Is the neighbor’s son named Joel by any chance?

by Anonymousreply 11October 20, 2021 10:25 PM

At least the kid is working. Who's doing THAT these days?

by Anonymousreply 12October 20, 2021 10:51 PM

This belongs in the underwhelm thread.

by Anonymousreply 13October 20, 2021 10:53 PM

Tell Libby to buy her son some fucking earplugs.

by Anonymousreply 14October 20, 2021 11:08 PM

Can't you mow on the weekends at just about anytime?

by Anonymousreply 15October 20, 2021 11:56 PM

Be sure you blow those leaves in the evening.

by Anonymousreply 16October 20, 2021 11:57 PM

Get the son to mow your lawn for you, then invite him over for a soak in your hot tub and a sip of absinthe.

by Anonymousreply 17October 21, 2021 12:00 AM

Mow mine next. I’ll give you an extremely large glass of ice water afterwards.

by Anonymousreply 18October 21, 2021 12:03 AM

I assume your neighbors are Libby Gelman-Waxner and her son Mitchell Sean.

by Anonymousreply 19October 21, 2021 12:10 AM

Op do you love ice water?

by Anonymousreply 20October 21, 2021 12:15 AM

[quote]I Just Mowed My Lawn

What do you want, Skippy? A gold medal?

by Anonymousreply 21October 21, 2021 12:19 AM

I just washed my dishes.

by Anonymousreply 22October 21, 2021 12:33 AM

LOL - who mows their own lawn? LOL.

by Anonymousreply 23October 21, 2021 12:47 AM

R23 = Thomas Jefferson

by Anonymousreply 24October 21, 2021 12:51 AM

OP mowed his lawn. Quick: get him a cookie.

by Anonymousreply 25October 21, 2021 12:52 AM

I do honey, R23. Some of us have lawns. Some of us ^^^^ have a tarmac with a view of a White Castle.

by Anonymousreply 26October 21, 2021 12:53 AM

I have a lawn, dear. I also have a service. Don't sass me, especially if you're poor.

by Anonymousreply 27October 21, 2021 12:56 AM

I just shrug and say to take it up with our mower, who says to take it up with his boss the gardener, who tells her to fuck herself with her son's alarm clock.

by Anonymousreply 28October 21, 2021 12:56 AM

Tell her to tell her son to change jobs or shifts.

by Anonymousreply 29October 21, 2021 2:53 AM

Your neighbors deserve a gold star HISS.

by Anonymousreply 30October 21, 2021 2:55 AM

Offer to help the lad fall asleep if you accidentally wake him.

by Anonymousreply 31October 21, 2021 2:59 AM

Find someone with a herd of goats and offer them free grazing rights.

by Anonymousreply 32October 21, 2021 3:41 AM

Get a push mower. I have one, and it's great!

by Anonymousreply 33October 21, 2021 3:42 AM

Is this a euphemism?

by Anonymousreply 34October 21, 2021 3:44 AM

Thanks, everyone for the wonderful advice and comments. I am very happy at how my backyard looks.

I shall keep you posted if anything else happens. Soon it will be snow blowing season and that could cause more excitement.

I will also tell you that the local water company put in new meters, and the gravel they put in my driveway suddenly fell into a sinkhole. I stopped my SmartCar down the street where they were still working and told them about it. This morning, a bulldozer with a bucket full of gravel stopped by my house and the hole was filled in!

by Anonymousreply 35October 21, 2021 4:15 PM

I'm sorry, I should have signed my post.

BTW the son's name is Sebastian. Do you suppose he is a poet?

by Anonymousreply 36October 21, 2021 4:16 PM

[quote]I shall keep you posted if anything else happens.

Really, you don't have to.

by Anonymousreply 37October 21, 2021 4:18 PM

OP, I work overnight and have for many years. You might want to suggest to Sebastian that he get a white noise machine, a sleeping mask, and perhaps a fan or two. I've had those for the last x10 years (at least), and never hear anything going on outside.

You also sound like a considerate neighbour, but you should be able to do what you want in your yard, when you want to do it. Just because he works overnight shouldn't hinder you from doing yard work, jacking him off in his sleep, etc.

by Anonymousreply 38October 21, 2021 4:21 PM

Amen, R37.

by Anonymousreply 39October 21, 2021 5:55 PM
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