What name do you give for the barista to shout out?

Anita Mann

Dorcas

Praise D. Lord

Darcy Vonfeldt

Assy

Mike Hunt

The Doctor.

I literally do always say my order is for the name of one of the Power Puff Girls. My name is common and I don't want my lemon loaf going to the other bastard.

Pazuzu

Anastasia Beaverhausen

Mame Dennis

John Barron

Oprah.

Oprah.

Fred (not my real name, but easy to hear and recognize, no one else has it anymore as a name, and it's impossible to get wrong).

Tippi

Helene Boxburger

Leon Lipschitz

Urkel

Karen. So he'll make extra sure to get my order right.

Cheryl.

Diana.

And then I'll scream at him if he doesn't call me "Miss Ross."

r20 that's actually pretty smart!

Rusty Shackelford

Theo.

For some reason, it always brings a smile,

Skittles

B. Iglots

Spike

R22 FTW!

I use the name "Fire" and ask the coffee pusher to say my name loud because I'm hard of hearing.

Marie

Queen Carlotta

Coffee

Tim Hortons

Vairst Letty

Slenderman

Areola Grinda

Amanda Hugginkiss

Clititia

Satan

Ouiser Boudreaux

or

Helen Lawson

LaQuisha Mercedes Johnson

Martita Hunt!

Ginny in billing or if I'm feeling especially glib, Jackie on Assistance

Mrs Patrick Campbell

I always give my first name - Greg - and invariably get one of the following: Glen, Geoff, Fred, Grant or Gary.

I also say "Greg," and then I give them the benefit of my brilliant opinions about meals I've cooked!

Kwisatz Haderach

Bubbles

Chip- I have a small, but noticeable chip in my eye tooth.

Cunt

"Hey Cunt, your order's ready!"

Vivian Vance

Mrs. Patsy Ramsey, formerly of…Oh fuck it. It’s too long.

Queefie

R47 I’m not that Greg! But thanks for the laugh.

Adele Dazeem

Aretha Flowers.

Ima Kuhnt.

R56: she’s Wickedly Talented!

Ms. Borrocks. x

Juan Valdez

Caitlyn

"Yes, yes, oh god fuck me I'm close yes."

LaQuanza

Adolph Hitler

Max Power. Strap in and feel the Gs!

Moist Mussy

George Glass

R43! I thought I was the only one!

Clit Eastwood.

And then when the baristaslovich calls out "Clint, Clint Eastwood," I ignore him.

He'll repeat it three or four times, and people start looking around, getting excited.

Finally I turn around and say, "What was that name, please?"

When he says "Clint Eastwood" again, I say, "Close but that's not it." And turn my back to him.

The end of the matter always is different, but it's always memorable.

Cuntessa

Lady Grey Bush

Fiona Flaps

Big Beaver

Open Box

Pam Demic

Jim Shu

Neely. Neely O'Hara.

Toots

Colonel Angus

Dwight Mannsburden

Dawson. Rose Dawson.

Hugh Jardon

Ava Jina

Doris Glee

Doubtfire. Mrs Doubtfire

Stella!

Incontinentia Buttocks

Moe Cachino

Capucine.

Jan Bot

I don't have anything witty to add just that I use "Oscar" which was my late dachshund's name.

I miss my little Oscar Mayer Wiener.

Muriel

Delilah-Judith

bingo

The Senatrice

Don Cacchino.

Niagara Falls.

And then from the far end of the shithole Starbucks I do the Three Stooges routine, with "Slowly I turned... Step by step, inch by inch...." as I slowly approach the counter.

Ting Tong. Or Tong Ting.

Malcolm

Wilma Fingerdoo

Ben Dover.

Bessie Mae Mucho

Splenda

PUSSY WILLOW!

Ho Lee Fuk

Mi Suk Yang

Dicky Licky?

Curly. A lot of times they don't have to yell.

Barack.

The name's BOND.

Fat Whore

Brunhilda Cum. It's good for a giggle. I spell out both Brunhilda and Cum slowly and completely deadpan.

Machofucker XXL

The Cockgobbler

Huge Jackman

Anyone who kills 12 firefighters in one incident is superhuman or an extraordinary human, even if they had a gun. After that initial killing spree, the town was be inundated with federal forces, and the national guard.

Also, why don’t people in this time hear all the mayhem Going on outside their homes and call police?

Uncle Poodle

Betty Flat White

Di-Rhea

Neely O'Hara

Mike Hunt

Dick Hertz

Haywood Jablomie

Sum Ting Wong

Camille Tow

Brian Laundrie

Sirhan Sirhan

Herpes

Casey Donovan

Blowtina

Epstein or Weinstein

Tina Bringmetheaxe

Cute story...I stop at a national coffee chain every morning on my way to my office. One of the Baristas is this really REALLY cute guy, about mid-twenties, who has Tourette Syndrome. On my first visit, he was taking my order when his arm flew up in the air, and he screamed something (not an obscenity). Needless to say, it was a little shocking, but then you realize what's up, and you just treat him like anyone else. So apropos this thread, its always interesting when you're waiting for your drink, because whatever name you've given him isn't necessarily what he's going to call out. I have great respect for him, and also for the company, for hiring him in a customer service position and making people confront that disability.

STUD MUFFIN.

Homosexualist

Baby Be Black

BBC

BALENCIAAAGAAAAAA!

Lizsha.

Agamemnon

Stella!

Jeff Stryker

And when they call my name, I respond, "Oh yeah, I'm coming..."

Mrs Norman Maine

Nemorino or Radames.

Herpes

Faggit

MA’AM!! IT’S MA’AM!!!

Back when Michael Dukakis was Governor of Massachusetts, a friend who lived in Boston would always use the name "Dukakis" when calling to make a restaurant reservation.

Almost always, he would be asked "Are you any relation to the Governor?" and my friend would reply "Please, I don't want any special treatment" and of course he would always get a prime reservation and a great table.

Sum Ting Rong

R152, Um, R127

MARY!

I guess there was Sum Ting Rong, R153

Carlos Danger

Theminthem

IMGAY

Amélie Rose

Princess Grace

Lemmy C DePeen

Ida Slaptor

Phil McKracken

Chitty Chitty Bang Bang.

Jack Ruby

Julianne Moore, seriously.

Gilligan!

Shitty Little Ann

Mildred’s Piece

Mike Hunt.

Mike Hunt.

My Kunt

Puddin N. Tane

Oliver Klosoff

Truly Scrumptious

Little Debbie

Ronald McDonald

Jizz Guzzler

Duncan.

Duncan Donuts

sugar junkie

Seaward.

Ryan Seamencrest

I tell him my name is Mrs. Olson after searching for a menu item with the word "rich" or "richest" in it.

Jazzhands!

I say my name is "Stupid" and then I do my spastic "special kid" routine on my way up to the counter when he calls it.

Luvvy!

Or Stud, when I'm in a mood.

Twatta

Labia Minora

Urakuntt

Mark with a “c”

Major Wood

Taint

Lady Parts

Cock breath

Heavily Hung

Prostitution Whore

Blue Balls

Massive Meat

Yesterday I used "whore of Babylon" and sometimes I use "Jezebel-Harlot" I have used "I swallow, do u" or Cum addiction.

Lavinia

Babs

Jizzy

Cum Covered Cunt

I love the way all of the hard “C’s” roll off the barista’s tongue

Mother,

Mother Pence

If they're hot, I just say,

"Call me by YOUR name"

"CumInside MeBro"

[quote]"CumInside MeBro"

It's an ethnic name...and don't you dare disrespect my culture!"

Bahlzdeep

Wee-Wee Monsieur

Hairy dick

Matt Sterbate

Waldo Lydecker

Mahbussy Izhat

Mike Hock

Lady Labia

Emmy Sudeep

La Cuntessa.

Anastasia Beaverhousen

Here's a $20...give me a little pump of protein in that, will ya?

Seamen

Aoife

Tadhg

Caoimhe

[quote]The Senatrice

Or Miss Lindsey

(or you can call this number if you're nasty)

R170, R171, and R172 for the learning disabled

Pussy Galore

Flouncer

Sassy!

Cuddles

Fanny

Mussy

Didi von Cuntington

Sharon Tate

Don Francisco

Mrs. Stephen Haines

Orthorinynkisanatinis.

Kay Cheeseman

Hot Hole

Ass and a half

Iona Carr

I usually just scream,

"Oh please just stick it in me!"

"My pussy feels so empty!"

Muriel Davenport

Ima Bottom

It’s free advertising for any lonely men in the store .

Anastasia Beaverhausen

Call me Pam. Fuck my order up, call me Karen!

Lolly Purdue

Miss Kyle Beach

I give them my real name "Jim", but they invariably yell out "Chip"!

Is it because I'm white?

Crystal Allen

Either "M. Fazeema," or "Assassin!"

Lorena Bobbitt

Uma Oprah