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So, I Actually Went To A Gay Man's Apartment, and... There Were NO Window Treatments!

This was totally incomprehensible. Gay man? No window treatments? How is this possible?

I met this VERY HOT guy at my gym, (Uhm.. EQUINOX, of course. EQUINOX--Greenwich Ave, of course), who asked me over to his place for dinner. Without hesitation I accepted his invite and immediately became excited about our dinner date. I already new what to expect since I've seen him in his Under Armour spandex, and better yet, his BLANC underwear! Yep... we'll have dinner alright but I'm bringing his dessert.

So, having fully prepared myself (and you know what I mean) I stood at his front door and rang his bell. His building is nice and I was mildly surprised that he still had an apartment in Chelsea, Hmm... he must do okay for himself. Many of us gays have had to leave the area because, well... we're not doing as "okay" for ourselves as those who are able to remain there. Anyway, his building is nice. The building has a doorman. He's close to the gym, the "L" train, and most importantly to Spa Jolie! Ohhh... he's going to love dessert.

Walking into his apartment the aroma of dinner that was still cooking was like ambrosia. "So, he cooks too," I said to myself. His apartment was of a suitable size and I could see the other room of where the magic happens. As I sat down on a sofa that was a non-convertible I complimented him on his nice place and thanking him for inviting me over. He simply blushed and told me that the place had now reached a point of where he was comfortable. He also told me how he really likes inviting people over but they never seem to stay very long. I just casually blurted out that it was probably because his window treatments had yet to be installed and therefore people could not get a real sense of who he is. He looked at me puzzled and asked; "What window treatment? I like plain, open, unshielded windows that allow the sun to shine in."

MMPH... well, that made no sense to me. Gay men spend hours and lots of money in designing and creating the appropriate window treatments. Suddenly I felt the need to leave and "suddenly" turned into my getting up and leaving. Who has ever heard of such a thing? Gay man? No window treatments?

What gay man here have no window treatments?

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by Anonymousreply 62October 18, 2021 1:15 PM

0/10

by Anonymousreply 1October 6, 2021 7:04 PM

You sound, and I am sure you are, insufferable OP.

by Anonymousreply 2October 6, 2021 7:13 PM

[quote] What gay man here have no window treatments?

Do you mean curtains? I don't.

by Anonymousreply 3October 6, 2021 7:14 PM

I have plantation shutters mostly. But some windows do not. I like a much sunshine as possible. Living room, floor to ceiling windows, the upper windows nothing.

by Anonymousreply 4October 6, 2021 7:18 PM

[quote]This was totally incomprehensible. Gay man? No window treatments? How is this possible? I met this VERY HOT guy at my gym, (Uhm.. EQUINOX, of course. EQUINOX--Greenwich Ave, of course), who asked me over to his place for dinner. Without hesitation I accepted his invite and immediately became excited about our dinner date. I already new what to expect since I've seen him in his Under Armour spandex, and better yet, his BLANC underwear! Yep... we'll have dinner alright but I'm bringing his dessert. So, having fully prepared myself (and you know what I mean) I stood at his front door and rang his bell. His building is nice and I was mildly surprised that he still had an apartment in Chelsea, Hmm... he must do okay for himself. Many of us gays have had to leave the area because, well... we're not doing as "okay" for ourselves as those who are able to remain there. Anyway, his building is nice. The building has a doorman. He's close to the gym, the "L" train, and most importantly to Spa Jolie! Ohhh... he's going to love dessert. Walking into his apartment the aroma of dinner that was still cooking was like ambrosia. "So, he cooks too," I said to myself. His apartment was of a suitable size and I could see the other room of where the magic happens. As I sat down on a sofa that was a non-convertible I complimented him on his nice place and thanking him for inviting me over. He simply blushed and told me that the place had now reached a point of where he was comfortable. He also told me how he really likes inviting people over but they never seem to stay very long. I just casually blurted out that it was probably because his window treatments had yet to be installed and therefore people could not get a real sense of who he is. He looked at me puzzled and asked; "What window treatment? I like plain, open, unshielded windows that allow the sun to shine in." MMPH... well, that made no sense to me. Gay men spend hours and lots of money in designing and creating the appropriate window treatments. Suddenly I felt the need to leave and "suddenly" turned into my getting up and leaving. Who has ever heard of such a thing? Gay man? No window treatments? What gay man here have no window treatments?

You, Madam, are exhausting.

by Anonymousreply 5October 6, 2021 7:21 PM

[quote]I have plantation shutters mostly.

That's a window treatment.

by Anonymousreply 6October 6, 2021 7:23 PM

How does one casually blurt? I've been thinking about upping my I-came-out-of-the-fog-and-my-hands-were-around-his-neck-and-he-wasn't-breathing appeal.

by Anonymousreply 7October 6, 2021 7:24 PM

I am aghast OP. Simply aghast. What happened with the, um, dessert?

by Anonymousreply 8October 6, 2021 7:27 PM

I feigned interest in your post, but tuned out at ambrosia.

by Anonymousreply 9October 6, 2021 7:28 PM

R8, at the first zip, he casually blurted in a differently way and took the finish off the headboard. But in fairness, there were no shams!

by Anonymousreply 10October 6, 2021 7:31 PM

[quote] I have plantation shutters mostly.

Racist!

by Anonymousreply 11October 6, 2021 7:31 PM

Well, there’s 45 seconds of my life I’ll never get back.

by Anonymousreply 12October 6, 2021 7:36 PM

It is stupid too, because I actually associate gay men with modern large open windows.

by Anonymousreply 13October 6, 2021 7:38 PM

I didn't realize that the term "window treatments" was still being used. I wish it weren't.

by Anonymousreply 14October 6, 2021 7:43 PM

OP = 85

No gay man with taste living in a high-rise needs window treatments. Were you upset he didn't have track lighting?

by Anonymousreply 15October 6, 2021 7:49 PM

What the he’ll is a window treatment? I had my car windows treated and I can’t even tell the difference. All treatments are a waste of money.

by Anonymousreply 16October 6, 2021 9:53 PM

Would OP consider shades to be “window treatments” or does he require draperies?

Please tell us about the floors.

by Anonymousreply 17October 6, 2021 10:15 PM

OP is a stalker!

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by Anonymousreply 18October 7, 2021 12:11 AM

You should have told him about Kurtain Kraft!

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by Anonymousreply 19October 7, 2021 12:21 AM

[quote]Would OP consider shades to be “window treatments”

I would think that shades would be considered a window treatment given the costs of some of them. But, that white, vinyl, mess that turns yellow might not make the cut.

by Anonymousreply 20October 7, 2021 12:26 AM

Stereotypical, vapid gay drama.

by Anonymousreply 21October 7, 2021 12:28 AM

OP this is not high-quality trolling.

by Anonymousreply 22October 7, 2021 4:35 AM

I don't have any kind of window treatments or shades in my condo. It's a high-rise with a beautiful view of the city, why would I want to pollute that view with ugly fru-fru drapes? Yes, some people in other buildings can see in but who cares? In my experience only women and big old queens who think they are women freak out about not having drapes.

by Anonymousreply 23October 7, 2021 4:45 AM

But but, the sun will fade your stuff!

by Anonymousreply 24October 7, 2021 4:51 AM

No window treatment at all is itself a style statement. Sometimes it is one as appropriate as any other.

by Anonymousreply 25October 7, 2021 4:55 AM

[quote]But but, the sun will fade your stuff!

Most modern buildings have Double-Pane glass and UV coatings. Keep trying Gramps.

by Anonymousreply 26October 7, 2021 4:58 AM

Dude, do you have ANY IDEA how EXPENSIVE custom window treatments suitable for a skyscraper wall of floor to ceiling windows actually ARE? Literally ANYTHING better than vertical blinds STARTS at around $2,000... and goes up rapidly from there.

I personally went with electronic window-blind film, after realizing it was only slightly more expensive than vertical blinds. It's basically a huge low-res LCD display embedded in a roll of window film that turns opaque when you power it up, and becomes transparent when turned off. Personally, I splurged and bought the slightly more expensive version that has two sets of alternating 1cm high rows that can be independently controlled, wired into 3 independently-controllable vertical banks, with 4 presets I set up:

* 100% opaque

* 100% clear

* top 1/3 clear, middle 1/3 opaque, bottom 1/3 opaque on alternating rows

* top 1/3 clear, middle and bottom alternating rows of 20% and 40% opacity

I can actually use any arbitrary combination of alternating transparencies for the bottom, middle, and top 1/3 of the window, but can only switch between 4 presets without hand-tweaking them with an app running on my phone.

My only real complaint is that "opaque" is kind of a nasty greenish-gray color, and outdoor artificial lights appear to flicker when viewed through them (because the lights themselves are flickering AND the electronic blinds achieve partial-opacity by rapidly switching between 100% opaque and 100% clear, so you can see "beat" patterns form). But you can't beat the convenience of pressing a button and having the whole glass wall instantly become clear, opaque, or some other preset.

by Anonymousreply 27October 7, 2021 6:00 AM

I would be perfectly happy with a few healthy orchid plants in front of traditional thin window blinds but then again my taste has never progressed beyond 1978. I'm an eldergay.

by Anonymousreply 28October 7, 2021 6:13 AM

Its because he was bisexual, not gay. Thats why.

by Anonymousreply 29October 7, 2021 6:17 AM

So, OP - the problem isn’t the lack of “window treatments”, as you so naffly call them.

It’s your inability to open a sentence without “So,”. You sound like a fool.

by Anonymousreply 30October 7, 2021 6:28 AM

Nancy Mitford said a room is only as good as its view. Therefore one must have big, open windows.

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by Anonymousreply 31October 7, 2021 6:33 AM

EXACTLY, R23!

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by Anonymousreply 32October 7, 2021 7:22 AM

[quote]You, Madam, are exhausting.

True! Fraus with time on their hands to pen sub-Mills and Boon prose on gay forums because they think they 'get' gays are indeed exhausting. Go write a novel darl. Don't bore us with your shit.

by Anonymousreply 33October 7, 2021 7:37 AM

R27, is there video of that? I’ve never seen an LCD window.

by Anonymousreply 34October 7, 2021 7:38 AM
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by Anonymousreply 35October 7, 2021 7:43 AM

This OP has Covid brain, aids brain, syphillis brain or all of the above.

by Anonymousreply 36October 7, 2021 7:48 AM
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by Anonymousreply 37October 7, 2021 7:52 AM

The equinox flex was gross and desperate. No one cares where you work out as long as you look good.

by Anonymousreply 38October 7, 2021 7:53 AM

I admit that I laughed a little bit.

by Anonymousreply 39October 7, 2021 7:54 AM

OP is Christopher Lowell

by Anonymousreply 40October 7, 2021 9:00 AM
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by Anonymousreply 41October 7, 2021 9:15 AM

[quote]No window treatment at all is itself a style statement.

I guess...

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by Anonymousreply 42October 7, 2021 9:49 AM

R23, a "Drape" is something you throw over furniture. "Draperies" are used on windows.

by Anonymousreply 43October 7, 2021 10:46 AM

What the fuck is a window treatment?

by Anonymousreply 44October 7, 2021 11:09 AM

Did the OP flounce on his way out.

by Anonymousreply 45October 7, 2021 12:02 PM

My EST senses feel heightened.

by Anonymousreply 46October 7, 2021 12:05 PM

R44 It’s when your windows go to rehab. Too many treatments turn your windows into demis.

by Anonymousreply 47October 7, 2021 12:07 PM

So there was no way to know if the carpet matched the drapes?

by Anonymousreply 48October 7, 2021 12:29 PM

OP during happier times

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by Anonymousreply 49October 7, 2021 1:02 PM

This Filler wasted a minute of my life.

0-10.

by Anonymousreply 50October 7, 2021 1:11 PM

That was HYSTERICAL, R49!

by Anonymousreply 51October 7, 2021 2:39 PM

Thanks R51!

by Anonymousreply 52October 7, 2021 3:17 PM

Another cheap window treatment for a wall of floor-to-ceiling windows is Ikea's "Vidga" triple rail and enough 24" panel-curtain holders to cover ~120% of the wall's width.

Each panel basically consists of a pair of 24" wide metal brackets that clamp on to opposite ends of a 24" wide piece of fabric (or rice paper, or whatever).

IMHO, it looks kind of cool with rice paper, but actual rice paper is too fragile to use long term (it gets dirty from dust, browns & brittles from sunlight after a few months, and develops tears & tatters even if you rarely touch it). Ikea USED to sell panel material that was kind of a plastic that resembled rice paper (but held up better), but it was super expensive & they discontinued it a few years ago.

Forget about Vidga if you have cats, though, unless you can find some magic fabric-like material they won't tear to shreds.

If cost is no object, custom Shoji panels on tracks that allow them to pivot & stack flat against the side walls are awesome... but doing a single 18' x 10' window wall with them could easily cost $25,000 or more. Maybe, MAYBE $8-10k if you can diy somehow using doors meant for closets or wardrobes.

It's really a shame Ikea won't sell tracks & brackets to let you mount their big wardrobe doors on walls. Their doors are about 1/4 the price of comparable closet doors from Home Depot. People have hacked their own mounting systems for them, but it's NOT easy.

by Anonymousreply 53October 7, 2021 4:42 PM

The idea that gay men have taste just for being gay is ridiculous. I've been to many, MANY guys' places and I have rarely been impressed. Just go through the pictures on Grindr or Scruff - most dudes' apartments are just awful. Let alone the stupid rainbow flags in the living room, the third class "erotica", the Cher / Madonna / Adele posters.... That's how it is.

by Anonymousreply 54October 7, 2021 5:44 PM

[quote]I've been to many, MANY guys' places and I have rarely been impressed.

Maybe, your aesthetics are bit more refined and upscale than the hairy beasts that you love to be taken and ravaged by?

by Anonymousreply 55October 7, 2021 6:55 PM
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by Anonymousreply 56October 8, 2021 11:22 AM

OP’s offended , snowflake sensibility makes me want to either slap him viciously or give him a hate fuck. Pics, please, OP?

by Anonymousreply 57October 8, 2021 11:50 PM

[quote]I've been to many, MANY guys' places

SLUT!

by Anonymousreply 58October 9, 2021 1:05 AM

Good read.

by Anonymousreply 59October 18, 2021 12:28 PM

Is this an excerpt from Alan Cummings memoir?

by Anonymousreply 60October 18, 2021 12:30 PM

Does it really matter since you still took his cock up the ass gurl???

by Anonymousreply 61October 18, 2021 12:46 PM
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by Anonymousreply 62October 18, 2021 1:15 PM
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