Joan Collins details terror at the hands of "COVID SS"

Anyone who is calling the people who check on you during quarantine the "Stasi" and the "SS" is a complete and utter asshole. Joan Collins is a whiny, far right lunatic who has been coddled and indulged her whole life, and is so spoiled that she thinks minor inconvenience makes her just as much of a victim as the millions of Jews exterminated during the Holocaust. It's indefensible.

For those who don't want to sully their beautiful minds by clicking, here are some highlights from The Persecution of Saint Joan:

[quote]That work is where I can find it, so if that means I must travel, then I do, which means I must test, test, test and quarantine, quarantine, quarantine. And this means I am called, called, called.

[quote]Pandemics come and go, viruses burn out or mutate until they’re harmless, but democratic rights, for which people have fought hard for centuries, were given over in a nanosecond of fear and panic.

[quote]And horrid Angela Merkel doesn’t seem to want freedom. Not a month ago I was supposed to appear on a German TV show when the borders were shut with a day’s notice.

[quote]I was extremely upset just before Christmas. My daughter Tara and I had been in talks to have a three-day celebration at her house in the country.

[quote]Several friends have told me it’s practically impossible to find a good hotel in any British seaside resort now.

[quote]My American friends are amazed we are still obeying such tough restrictions.

[quote]In this, my fifth quarantine, I feel trapped, as if in prison for a crime I didn’t commit, with the Covid warden threatening to call or visit at all hours. On top of which our building is covered in workmen and scaffolding, so there is hardly any light or privacy.

Then quit leaving the country so damn often! All she does is bitch

Die already, cunt.

Isn't it about time that Joan made a final exit.

She's 88 fucking years old, why doesn't she give us all a rest and stop carrying on with her ridiculous pomposity and need to "work" like a dog?

Why doesn't she go to her country home in France, instead of whinging in her apartment in Belgravia? Why anyone would want to live in Belgravia defeats me. It's like some dystopian prison camp for the very rich.

I'll never know why so many DLers worship this hag.

[quote]Several friends have told me it’s practically impossible to find a good hotel in any British seaside resort now.

I grieve for those who have to endure such hardship.

What a huge cunt. Is she a trumper?

R10 She's a hardline Tory and Brexiteer.

she'a cunt

[quote] she'a cunt

We shall all become as old, haggard and raddled as Joan eventually. In the 2040s perhaps, or the 2050s.

Cunts gonna cunt, and God knows nobody is better at it than this old hag.

What a fucking idiot.

She's still alive? What's wrong, is hell full?

Don't they know that legends don't catch diseases!?

Desperately trying to stay relevant

Bitch @R17, you know you have more than a passing acquaintance with the insides of a VD clinic.

Those who would give up freedom for safety deserve neither.

R20 does not stop at red lights.

where the fuck does she get the energy for all this travel and work at 88?

Sex, work, and travel keeps me young, darling.

Tell it to Ricky Schroder, sister. I'm sure your ethnic slurs will fall on sympathetic ears. I believe you two have something else in common:

she has a gay husband 35 years younger than her who she pays to do everything for her, that's how she does it

Cunt.

R8 = Victoria Principal

I see a lot of people angry towards Joan on here. Enjoy this video of me kicking her ass.

Here too.

I told you she was a bitch.

R21 is dumber than dirt.

R20 eats sidewalk poo

I bet this bitch serves the visiting Covid stasi some BURNT champagne and the low-class osetrova caviar.... never the good petrossian beluga.

Freedom is just another word for nothing left to lose.

She was never known for her brains or good judgment.

You BITCH!

I always preferred Jackie, who was so much more fun, likable, and down to earth.

Jackie was a Lucky Bitch

She talks about how she had to work to pay the bills…umm, does her husband not know how to work a job?

joan collins is a stupid cunt. She's best friends with piers morgan

That is all you need to know about her. She is trash

[quote]joan collins is a stupid cunt. She's best friends with piers morgan

And they are ALWAYS together - from dinners to parties to vacations. It’s bizarre. But like attracts like.

[quote] joan collins is a stupid cunt.

And it got her this!

Another Jackie fan chiming in. She would have no fucking patience for this particular bit of Joan's bullshit. I miss her. To be blunt, the wrong one died.

"Scrambled hastily down the stairs" my asshole, you 88 year old bewigged dumb whore.

[quote] cunt

The Dataloungers have used that word ten times in this thread.

She's a fucking cunt. There r44 now that's 11

She's not so stupid though is she, she's done pretty well for herself for being a minor actress

There's nothing worse than a rich person complaining about having to pay tax.

She wasn't as pretty as Stephen

Stingy old bitch Joan is just walking around to save on funeral expenses.

[quote]My daughter Tara and I had been in talks to have a three-day celebration at her house in the country.

In talks? How much does her daughter hate her that they have to have "talks" over whether her mother can visit or not?

Krystlecarringtonnacht

[quote]She's not so stupid though is she, she's done pretty well for herself for being a minor actress

That’s debatable. She’s been married 5 times and she’s currently 88 years old and still has to work because she married a guy that either doesn’t work or doesn’t make enough to support the both of them.

Doesn’t sound too smart to me.

r52 Townhouse in Belgravia, apartment in LA, house in St Tropez, just sold apartment in New York,

Hopefully she'll simply contract COVID, die an agonizing death, then we don 't have to hear her childish whining about common sense protections.

R53 You missed the point “Joanie.” You had 5 husbands, and here you are at 88 and you STILL have to work to pay the bills because YOU’RE the breadwinner.

Is she still yammering? I thought they sealed her ass up in a tomb 60 years ago.

R54’s mother probably said that about Steven Carrington and AIDS back in the day.

CUNT

Joan still thinks she’s on the set of Dynasty.

It's true... all Collins does is bitch. She is a real right wing reactionary.

Joan Collins - the ultimate old slag

I don't think she needs to work to pay the bills. I think she just likes to keep busy.

She sure likes to run her mouth.

R62 I guess you didn’t bother reading the article….she said she has to work because the bills don’t give a hoot about the pandemic.

Cunty Joan's best friend is right wing nutbag, Alana Stewart. Her Twitter is batshit. She's a sanctimonious old ho.

The worst actress in the whole world shares her first world problems.

Dear OP, you'd be a very good player at Chinese Whispers. But, on the other hand, you'd be a lousy witness in a court case.

Collins never uses the word 'terror'. She uses the language appropriate to the hyperbolic 'Daily Mail' and to someone who's been fornicating with the most luscious men of the 20th century.

Why does she have to work? Wasn't Jackie super rich? Did she omit Joan from her will?

At her age, when we kick her in the cuntbone it will shatter her pelvis and kill her.

R42, that was over half a century ago

No she had to marry a gay man, just so she could have a companion. He's her "walker"

I earned more in allowance money as a child than percy has ever earned

He produced one tv movie. The only reason he got the job is because joan was in it

He was on 4, one hour episodes of tv games shows. Of course he was only there because he was escorting joan to the show

This made me laugh

[quote]I live in an area of London that is populated (or rather un-populated) by Chinese, Russian and Middle Eastern oligarchs who have parked their money in London real estate before their governments rip it out their cold, dead fingers.

I kind of hope she dies of Covid now.

I mean, why not?

She has multiple homes around the world but needs to work right now? Sell one of them!!

She’s never been the same since Wayland Flowers died.

Joan lived off the dole (public assistance) for awhile In the '70s, like many right-wingers who hate the thought of the government helping anybody *else*. It's fine for them, of course; they're special.

And how In 2021 can you "not get to the phone in time?" She has no cell phone and only one landline?? Bitch was not where she was supposed to be and is lying.

I love that they are getting on her nerves. KEEP CALLING!!

The old cow married a walker? Percy is homo? Hadn’t heard that. And the clip at r29……the sound man and AD should be fired. You can see the micro boom bobbing and weaving in frame. Lazy.

R42: Big deal. Few Hollywood snatches never knew the touch of that manwhore's cock.

Julie Christie on Warren Beatty: 'Well, what I really want is to suck his cock'

Joan is a trump loving slag.

Oy. Just die you old narc hag.

Very telling that sister Jackie didn't want Joan to know about her cancer - because Joan would have found a way to make it all about herself. Who can deal with that selfish, immature shit when you're dying?

R554 I love you.

mother issues, the thread

I miss the days of the guillotine for people like her.

people on this site really are unhinged violent people

[quote] unhinged violent people

I agree. Some of the posts here sound utterly loony.

I console myself and say perhaps 30 of them are by the same ignorant, repetitive tasteless loon.

She was very good in that film about giant ants. Perhaps she should go back to doing that sort of thing.

I remember her bitching 20 years ago when Y2K was going to be a thing and all the computer clocks were supposed to expire or something. She moved out of the country to prove how smart she was for getting out before the planes dropped out of the sky. Total bust, nothing happened except Joan with egg on her face.

Agree, R85.

Does she still think she's Alexis?

It makes sense she feels invulnerable to the virus. She hasn't been a carbon based lifeform in 50 years.

I don’t feel sorry for this Trump-loving bitch.

I never understood why people thought she was pretty. She's had the same look for 50 years. Even when she was young, meh, no big deal.

R93 I agree.

What “work” is she doing during Covid? Work that requires her to fly around the world during a pandemic where very little has been open until recently.

English bank stages a dramatic covid pantomime

R95 Selling her dried up very old twat?

I never understand what’s so great about those dynasty fights at r29 they just end up rolling around hugging each other.

Walleye

R88, you sure it was egg?

[quote]I never understand what’s so great about those dynasty fights

Reality TV and Housewives had not been invented yet.

Are Joan and Linda on good terms in real life? It always seems Joan is less kind about Linda whereas Linda takes the high road and minimises any discord between them. I always saw Linda as a sweetheart. She came across rather well on the British reality show “hell’s kitchen” many years ago. I’ve never really been too keen on Joan Collins who always seems to be humble bragging about something or other.

Joan also says she has to work because dynasty didn’t pay her enough, was Linda on a lot more money than Joan?

I meant to say at the end that Linda is the opposite, she always says how grateful she is to Aaron spelling because she doesn’t have to work anymore.

Over the years I've come to the conclusion Joan Collins is just an unpleasant, petty, right winger.

Maybe some of it is an act to get headlines but, based on what she has to say, I don't find her likeable.

She’s a narcissistic cunt r104. It’s ALL about her. All the time. Me me me.

So basically she keeps leaving the country, exposing her 88 year old ass in order to keep relevant, and then bitches about the testing and 14 day quarantine when she re-enters the country.

Easy solution - SKYPE THE INTERVIEWS STUPID! Your geriatric ass doesn't need to be traveling all over.

And no - I don't believe 'you have bills to pay'. You need the adoration and something to do. GET A HOBBY! Create an Insta or something else. People would love to see your wig and outfit collection or some other stuff.

But nope - gotta slag that 88 year old ass over to Germany for an 8 minute in person interview.

Can't start threads so I'll just drop this here if that's okay, what with all the die now! talk. This guy.

Can someone translate this into English?

She also works in the Stasi and Spanish Inquisition?

Huh?

SS Covid?

What?

[quote]And horrid Angela Merkel doesn’t seem to want freedom. Not a month ago I was supposed to appear on a German TV show when the borders were shut with a day’s notice.

[quote]No consideration was given to the fact that I was fully vaccinated, tested negative the day before and only going for 24 hours. Now she is trying to rally the rest of the 27 member states to impose restrictions on the UK.

Angela Merkel is thinking about Joan Collins.

I wrote on here that she was a Right-winger and people made excuses for her and basically why she want.

Dynasty was a million years ago. Irrelevant.

Edith Keeler MUST die.

She really must be hard up for money. She recently auctioned off some of her jewelry, all unremarkable, low-priced pieces, in London.

When she sold the New York apartment she auctioned the furniture and all. I’ll never get the image of that tallow-stained, upholstered headboard and dingy, white couch out of my brain. The stuff of nightmares!

"Whenever I wear this I am transported back to the South of France. It was given to me by a very good friend... as a birthday present. So I'm selling it. Because I'm what's left of... Those Heartless Bitches."

R114 she was never A list and nowhere near the likes of Liz Taylor when it came to $$$ and jewels. At this stage of her life, there’s no reason to own properties all over the world to maintain. But she is an attention whore so the show must go on. It’s quite pathetic really. Percy will hook up with a young thing when she dies.

R96 Jesus, the guy talking in that video is so fucking irritating.

[quote]When she sold the New York apartment she auctioned the furniture and all. I’ll never get the image of that tallow-stained, upholstered headboard and dingy, white couch out of my brain. The stuff of nightmares!

I remember that! It looked like it had piss and shit stains on it!😂 I wish someone could find the pictures again of that auction.

She auctioned all her good jewelry off last November. Looks like everything must go, and a ‘portion’ of the proceeds went to charity!

Pages 16 and 28 of this catalogue, R118

The show was going stale until I showed up and added some color. America got to see what a real black bitch is about until that trashy Sammy Jo showed up.

[quote] I’ll never get the image of that tallow-stained, upholstered headboard and dingy, white couch out of my brain. The stuff of nightmares!

What's ironic is that in her book, Joan wrote about a meeting she had with Mae West in her Ravenswood apartment and she noted that Mae's white silk sofa was dingy and yellowed with age.

Now the tables have turned and Joan is the one with dingy, yellowed sofas.

[quote] It’s ALL about her. All the time. Me me me.

This person must be a diva!

Somebody needs to snatch her wig

And please, please, I beg you, wig her snatch!

R122 Gotta love karma!

When Jackie was dying she didn't Joan. Could it be because Joan is a self involved beyotch?

I respect Dame Joan Collins' comparisons to the Stasi and Spanish Inquisition. After all, she survived these horrors.

What work is this dried up old slag boasting about? Isn't she too fucking old to be streetwalking? Don't old hookers get a penision they can retire on?

R114 - so all of those jewels listed were gifted to her. I could see getting rid of stuff that you never liked, but these were all relatively low amounts.

And if you're trying to get rid of jewelry, you're going to get a TON more in an auction. Jewelers will only give you 10% of the actual cost - it's insulting, but that's how it goes.

I just can't believe she's on her last few pounds and pence. She's downsizing, which only makes sense. But she doesn't need to fly around for 'work' - total bullshit. She's always been an egomaniac.

Did Jackie leave Joan any money when she died? Jackie was supposedly worth almost $200 million at the time of her death. She was far wealthier than Joan could ever hope to be.

[quote] Joan Collins - the ultimate old slag

There's a reason they call that old cunt The British Open.

[quote] Are Joan and Linda on good terms in real life?

No.

I don't think they hated each other or had much of a feud in early years, but sometime after they did that play together, they had a massive falling out and are not on good terms.

The COVID Quarantine Officer wasn't invited.

She sent for him.

Imagine trying this in the US? There would be so many shootings.

Boris Johnson must be her god. No one else has done more to ensure the unmitigated spread of Delta in the British Isles.

Imagine trying what?

[quote] Pages 16 and 28 of this catalogue

What’s bad on page 28?

Was Merle Oberon richer than Joan? She seems to have had the ultimate jewellery collection by all accounts

R137 having Covid “officers” show up at peoples’ houses. They would get their heads blown off. Even the police can’t enter without a warrant anymore.

The British Wide Open is full of shit. No one would care if this nasty old cunt got infected. On the contrary everyone would feel sorry for the coronavirus that got trapped inside this beastly harridan's ugly body.

[quote] Jewelers will only give you 10% of the actual cost - it's insulting, but that's how it goes.

That's not true if it's really high quality from the start. My boss had a 1 million dollar diamond ring and other stones in the ball park her husband gave her over the years. They got divorced and she had to liquidate. I sat there with her as the auction house looked over her stuff for their catalog. Not only did that stuff hold it's value, she made more money off it, about 200,000 than what it cost just for that one ring. But we are talking about stones that are at least 7 carrots and above, flawless D etc. At that size they are actually rare. Not some shitty 1 carrot Frau engagement ring. Those are a dime a dozen.

That's when I realized why rich people actually buy all that stuff, for the average Joe it's a poor investment. But if you can afford things in the million dollar range, it can be quite profitable.

" the most success during the darkest days of the pandemic." = the highest rate of infection in the country

[quote]shitty 1 carrot Frau engagement ring

Carat, darling. It's "carat."

I know, spell check. Carat.

A squad of Jack-booted Covid thugs just goosestepped past my house!

7 carrots!! Must be wealthy!!

Darfur Orphan, I have been meaning to ask you. Why are you on a gay website devoted to pointless bitchery? Do you think you might be one of those who dial the phone with a pencil?

Trump loving old slag.

I'm convinced that journos write this shit and Joan just puts her name on it, like Tara Palmer Tompkinson in the old Sunday Times Style mag.

Lady Alexis Carrington Colby Dexter of The Villages.