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Straight guys on Tinder

Ok, I'l admit it, I'm a Tinderella queen. I briefly moonlighted as a drag queen in the 80s, so I know how to do passable makeup. Now with photoshop it's so easy to make a great profile and catfish amazing, beautiful straight guys on Tinder. Oh my fucking god, it's so hot! So many masc, built guys desperate to get their rocks off. They'll swipe ANYTHING and with a hot profile pic, you're guaranteed to get into hot and heavy chat with lots of str8, masc, horny guys.

I'm currently messaging about a dozen, and they love telling me what they want to do to my 'slit' and my 'pussy'. It makes my hole so fucking wet! Yeah, it's a guilty pleasure, but I love it. I don't feel like I'm deceiving them. Most of these guys are entitled, white, misogynist, racist, homophobes so if I can get dick by exploiting them a bit who gives a fuck? I can host when my husband and kids are out, and I have a setup with dimmed lights, and a gloryhole. I have str8 porn playing, and I dress up in lingerie and a wig. I'm in my late 50s, balding, and overweight, but with a wig I look totally passable. I think I must have tricked about two dozen 'str8' guys, who dumped loads in my throat or in my pussy - I always say 'pump, dump, and leave'. So far being a human spermtank is great, but what I most love is that I'm poz. These str8 deplorables don't know what they're getting into.

If you knew how awful these guys are, calling me all sorts of degrading misogynistic names while they pound my faggot holes, you would totally agree with this setup. It's karma for these entitled deplorable men that they're cumming inside a poz, tatted fuckpig. I'm a fucking sewer swine, and love the unwashed man smells from all these jacked, str8, hot masc guys. Foot smell, sweat, smegma, unwiped asses, gym socks. I fucking love it, and my hole literally leaks when a str8 jock comes over from the gym to dump a load of cum and piss in me. I 've perfected my female voice, and I'm totally fucking passable!

by Anonymousreply 37December 3, 2022 12:35 AM

Well done, OP.

If I weren’t so hairy and if I were that ballsy, I can’t say I wouldn’t do exactly the same thing.

by Anonymousreply 1June 20, 2021 2:24 AM

Welcome back, Shit Brickhouse Troll! At least you're doing all of this while the husbear, Colton, Packer and Mackenzie are out.

by Anonymousreply 2June 20, 2021 2:26 AM

0/10

by Anonymousreply 3June 20, 2021 2:27 AM

-85,936,447.6976305/10

by Anonymousreply 4June 20, 2021 2:28 AM

I’m a trans Asian and they love me! They can’t believe I’m Asian!

by Anonymousreply 5June 20, 2021 2:29 AM

Make this go away.

by Anonymousreply 6June 20, 2021 2:30 AM

R6 OMG you're so fucking sex negative, bro,

by Anonymousreply 7June 20, 2021 2:30 AM

Just for this, you don’t get to complain when I pull the same shit on Grindr.

by Anonymousreply 8June 20, 2021 2:36 AM

0/10. Can you even log in to Tinder using Windows XP?

by Anonymousreply 9June 20, 2021 2:53 AM

More likely he was too busy playing with his Wang.

by Anonymousreply 10June 20, 2021 3:25 AM

Bump

by Anonymousreply 11January 24, 2022 10:15 PM

fucking disgusting!! seek help asap!!

by Anonymousreply 12January 24, 2022 10:49 PM

R12 you’re just jealous you didn’t think of it

by Anonymousreply 13January 24, 2022 11:56 PM

OP, how do you pay the bills?

by Anonymousreply 14January 25, 2022 12:01 AM

Even straight men know that's not a passable old whore pussy.

It takes more than warts, Granny.

by Anonymousreply 15January 25, 2022 12:18 AM

I’ve never tried it OP, but that does sound hot.

I think I would feel too guilty though.

by Anonymousreply 16August 16, 2022 3:40 PM

Op, these guys are only pretending to be straight. They are all closeted homolulus.

by Anonymousreply 17August 16, 2022 3:48 PM

OP, your neighbors told me this is the straight man that came to your house for a shag.

Offsite Link
by Anonymousreply 18August 16, 2022 3:55 PM

As long as you share their dick pics with us go right ahead and catfish

by Anonymousreply 19August 16, 2022 4:04 PM

Echoing r19

by Anonymousreply 20August 16, 2022 4:23 PM

Cool!

by Anonymousreply 21August 16, 2022 4:29 PM

What str8 hot guys want most is a fat old man in a wig! So happy to hear that you're giving back to your community OP.

by Anonymousreply 22August 16, 2022 4:35 PM

R16 is a Bump Bitch and Poo Shoes. This is an idiotic thread where a third of the posts are troll-dar'd already.

by Anonymousreply 23August 16, 2022 6:53 PM

You were a drag queen 22 years ago and you think you can pass for what? A 60 year old frau?

by Anonymousreply 24August 16, 2022 7:07 PM

Bump

by Anonymousreply 25September 12, 2022 3:12 PM

Bump

by Anonymousreply 26September 26, 2022 2:25 PM

Sweet Tammy Faye, what a friggin' mess.

OP is a gross old homo, who is either a shitty writer, or else just vastly deluding himself by thinking a fat middle-aged fag in a wig can "pass" for the sort of twentysomething gash these hot straights actually want to fuck.

by Anonymousreply 27September 26, 2022 2:56 PM

Some MtFs can pass very well with the help of photoshop as OP said. But I still cannot get the appeal of longing after men who will never be into the real you. If they knew you have a dick, they would not be into you. It's masochism. I think it's demeaning and pretty cringeworthy whenever DLers obsess after straight men. I would want someone who really is into ME.

by Anonymousreply 28September 26, 2022 3:37 PM

Oh come on, don't be so judgemental. Who hasn't pretended to be a hot MILF with big boobs to catfish naive straight barely legal twinks on Tinder once or twice in their life.

by Anonymousreply 29September 26, 2022 3:50 PM

R29 Yeah, pretty much no-one. At least people who could get cock for real. It's pretty desperate and sad.

by Anonymousreply 30September 26, 2022 3:58 PM

I used to try this with straight guys, but then I realized that I didn't know enough about females, to be able to converse with straight guys.

They would ask me my height, my proportions, my bra size, and a whole bunch of other questions that I could not answer about female clothing and female anatomy.

It's hard to make shit up, if you don't know what you're talking about.

by Anonymousreply 31September 27, 2022 3:18 AM

R31 you should have said: how rude of you, you don't ask a lady these questions before second date

by Anonymousreply 32September 27, 2022 8:06 AM

R32 but he presumably does it to get some cyber sex.

by Anonymousreply 33September 27, 2022 9:26 AM

If you are into barely legal twinks you won't have the problems like R31. They are very horny, but they know less about women than you do, so you can tell them anything and they will buy it.

by Anonymousreply 34September 28, 2022 12:22 PM

I miss SBT. I hope he didn't get into trouble at Whole Foods or the bathroom at Burger King.

by Anonymousreply 35September 29, 2022 2:36 AM

Related

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by Anonymousreply 36September 29, 2022 3:10 AM

Bump

Offsite Link
by Anonymousreply 37December 3, 2022 12:35 AM
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