Meghan’s book flop

Oh goody. Obsessive-compulsive Meghan Markle post #1,366,457.

Oh wow according to British tabloid The Sun her book is a “flop.”

Just another vanity project. Aren’t all of her projects vanity projects? Including her marriage.

As for her “book” deal, I wouldn’t be surprised if it’s just a convenient way for the Sussexes to launder some money. Probably too many eyeballs on Archewell’s financials right now & that tacky Montecito monstrosity ain’t gonna pay for itself.

Kate’s book sales are killing it this week. I think Hold still is #2 or something. Bet the Douchess punched a designer beige pillow, guzzled a bottle of wine & screamed at the help when she found out about that.

She’s an asshole

Say what you want, but the book is now #3 of all books on Amazon.

Not exactly a flop.

They're also reporting that she got at least half-a-million dollars up front for the book, so it hardly matters if it flops, she's already got the dough.

R6– it does matter if she wants another publishing house to give her an advance ever again

Piers Morgan is mocking Meghan Markle's children's book 'The Bench' after it was labelled a "semi-literate vanity project" and failed to make Amazon's bestsellers list.

International flop

What was the book about? Teaching kids how to be manipulative liars?

Who is it who reviews children's books? How is that even a thing? How can a children's book be bad?

See Jane and Puff. Run, Puff, run. See Spot run. See Spot and Puff chase Dick.

How can you give that a bad review?

ha ha

Writing books that children actually LIKE is not as easy as it sounds, r11.

If you’ve spent any time reading to or with children (not sure there are too many here who have, demographics being what they are, no shade), you’ll observe that some books have well-worn covers and pages, and some remain pristine. Everyone here who was a happy reader as a child knows this.

The illustrations are beautiful, the text is dry and preachy and try-hard. It’s one of those books that you give a man as a Father’s Day present from his child — and no child will ever ask to read it.

Well even his mother said he was THICK so 1 instruction a page might be all he can process.

.....

She's a flop. Unless you count rapidly becoming the new Anjelina Jolie.

"You'll be his supporter."

[quote][R6]– it does matter if she wants another publishing house to give her an advance ever again

What part of "#3 on Amazon" is unclear to you?

R2 - The book is not a flop. The Sun or "Scum" will hate on anybody to cell newspapers and generate clicks for revenues. See below:

Later in the day on Tuesday, 08 June 2021, Amazon updated their sales charts and The Bench was #3 on the American Amazon sales list and the #1 children’s book in the US. Why some people had the expectation that Meghan was going to do John Grisham or J. K. Rowling numbers right out of the gate is is a little bit strange and beyond my comprehension.

Children's books never sell like adult books. This is a kids’ book and it is not a Harry Potter book which very few books, adult's or children's, ever are.

What category is it number 3 in? See, that matters.

They are only tolerated in the US. In the UK where it matters, they are a flop in general.

R20 - Amazon's overall sales list of what is is "currently" being ordered, sold and shipped.

The "sales list" is different from the "best seller list" . The sales list is what is selling "now" in real time and the "best seller list" is an aggregate of "ALL" sales since the list began.

A massive flop, but she should call it "The Ghosting, Hypocritical Bench."

The book may not be "quality" literature but it is NOT a financial flop no matter who is forking out the money for purchase, no matter what the IQ of the purchaser is or their reason for purchase.

[quote] What category is it number 3 in?

Books written by the mother's of princes.

I worked in the publishing industry for several years. Couple things to note here. First off the Amazon Bestseller List isn't actually a bestsellers list in a traditional sense (e.g. getting the most sales) because it takes into account the number of "clicks" a product gets. Many self published others use this trick to get their books high up on the sellers list despite very low actual sales. Also, the publishers for Meghan's book appear to be following the tried and true method of artificially stimulating sales (thereby making the book a "bestseller") by drastically slashing the price of the book during it's opening week of sales. Publishers have been using this trick for years now as physical book sales have plummeted. This is often done for "named" authors whose book is not generating the buzz the publisher had anticipated. Finally, I suspect Meghan's most ardent fans are buying multiple copies of the book, again to push up sales.

*that should be self-published authors!

Thanks, R26, at one point yesterday it appeared to suddenly move from #200 to #3 very late in the day, did not seem organic at all. The text is cringy and I personally am not a huge fan of the illustrator's style. Hard pass.

I told her not to go after the Klan Granny demo.

I wonder how many of the people purchasing have children of their own to read it to.

Where are the profits going to? Anyone got a copy of the shite text?

Well it's number three on Amazon USA. It's in the top 5 for 13 other sections. So your wrong op. But it was just faux outrage to keep the UK tabloid click cycle articles trending.

Assume Archwell, R31, which under DE law is only required to spend 5% of income on charitable purposes.

Assume means guess which means not fact. Right?

R30 made me LOL because I immediately thought of those women who collect those ReBorn dolls.

But seriously, this is one of those books that fraus purchase to give to their husbands on Father’s Day, with an inscription from the kid(s). Nobody will read it more than once.

And when I think about how many “intact” families there are with a father in the picture… it’s kind of grim.

The book may be a bestseller because the price has been slashed. It might sell a lot of copies but probably not enough for the publisher to even breakeven.

Is her memoir coming out soon ?

It seems Archwell has bought 2k copies to donate

You could almost feel sorry for the bottom feeders tasked with it, but how exhausting must it be to have to come up with ways to prop up that dame's ego?

R38 I don't doubt you but source?

[Quote]I immediately thought of those women who collect those ReBorn dolls.

R30 here. Goodness! I'd never heard of this. Thank you for a new, potential rabbit hole. Yikes.

I think in the fall, R37

Wonder if Meghan has been sending 4am email instructions? Does she ever sleep?

Tell us what you really think Irish Times LMAOOOOO

The New York Times released its review today - The Tortured Rhyme and Reason of Meghan Markle’s Picture Book Debut

A reviewer who read it said that it is actually a book written FOR Harry. That basically it's not about Archie at all.

It flops because she is a lying, hypocritical cunt!!!

WORSE than Chrissy Teigen, R47, at least she did not allegedly superglue anyone's eyes together, only verbally bullied.

Thank you, R44, for the heads up.

The book is AWFUL!!!!!

[quote]Meghan Markle apparently wrote some version of these 169 words as a private message to her husband after the birth of their son. That is a lovely sentiment, and that is also where the words should have stayed: private. She has a famous name, and that must be the sole reason Puffin took on this book. What can it all be about but money, and hoping the book will sell by the benchload? Any publishing house would have made the same decision to take on Meghan Markle, and it’s naive to imagine otherwise.

[quote]It’s just a terrible shame The Bench is quite so awful. Because I am sure of one thing: Lilibet “Lili” Diana will most certainly be the subject of another book in due course. Which will be equally bad.

How long before she's flashing her boobs and clunge for a men's mag? She will cloak it in feminism and body-positivity.

^ And ouch a deux.

Well, she got what she wanted. She's the most famous woman in the world.

R52 not even close

Awww, Duchess Pump Pump's book went Flop Flop.

In the UK pump is a term for farting

R55, that's funny! Pump has a number of colloquial meanings, including how one begets children. Perhaps Meghan would be reluctant to be known as Duchess Pump- pump, whether or not it fits.

What she produced is definitely not a children's book and the illustrations are awful. I can see it as a published manual for her husband, though she probably has to read it to him.

R55 made me snarfle iced coffee. Hit my funny bone just the right way. When I was a kid, our polite term for “fart” was “puff”.

“Ewww! Who puffed?” (It was usually my sister.)

Her inscription: pump pump

Pump pump

When the Cuntess goes cray cray

Has anyone asked if she's okay?

It’s that damned Queen’s fault….bitch

R56 R57 glad I gave you a laugh. "Puff" was our polite term too. Pump is a bit ruder. Hehe

Pump is a more cruder term for fart here in the UK. Usually used by kids or teenagers.

What size are the letters saying Meghan, The Duchess of Sussex on the book's spine? They're fucking huge.

Seriously, this is just ridiculous.

[quote] It seems Archwell has bought 2k copies to donate

And after reading r26, I imagine they bought them one click at a time, on Amazon.

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It’s okay that it’s a flop. Harry will save them with his dirty laundry book.

This is your desk

Where the critics cannot hurt you

And you can spend all day

Signalling your virtue.

This is the desk

For papa and son, when he gets older

Though not MY papa —

No, I gave him the cold shoulder.

The New York Times review was the most damning because it was the kindest. It basically wouldn't let her get away with bad writing, but laid out exactly what was wrong with the writing and what an editor ought to have fixed.

Which begs the question, why couldn't the editor fix it?

Narcs do not take well to criticism, constructive or not. She is said to be a nightmare to work with, on many continents.

R70, she doesn’t listen to anyone’s advice or guidance because she knows best.

This is petty but she's caused so much strife and grief for so many people with her ruthlessness that I can't help but giggle at her contending with these reviews while contending with all those postpartum hormones roiling around inside of her.

Please. The book spent five minutes at #3 and then started a predictable downward spiral. Did people see the spine of the book, which does6even have the title on it, just MEGHAN DUCHESS OF SUSSEX in large letters?!

FFS, War and Peace shares the soune with the iconic name of its author! What the fuck first time author does that?!

This woman is mentally deranged, with a view of herself so out of touch with reality that I truly fear for her children.

^*shares the spine (not soune)

I'm surprised it does have a spine. She generally appears to prefer otherwise.

The book clinched the #1 spot on the New York Times picture book bestsellers list for June 27th.

It served her right in the ever expanding cunt!!!

[quote]'The Bench' only sold 3,212 copies in its first week of sales

Probably those 3K copies were ordered by her royal cuntiness herself!!!!

The Bench is now #1 on the New York Times Bestseller list for children’s books.

This book seems to be very popular outside of the UK.

The Barf - Notes from the publishing committee at Penguin Random House meeting to look at the sales figures.

This plus their litigiousness and complete lack of discretion are not likely to help future business or social opportunities.

The Brief - the court filing in the suit against Penguin Random House for not trying hard enough with marketing, like that idea to put my face on hot air balloons ALL OVER THE WORLD ON TUESDAYS!

R82 - What are you talking about? Who filled in court?

The Duchess is extremely unpopular in the UK and she didn't do anything to deserve such horrible treatment- according to Meg.

In a NYT [paid advert] article Meghan states she believes her book has the power to change our views of masculinity.

Guess that is about the tutu, R85.

If the miscarriage piece was said to cost $60k, wonder what this went for?

[quote]The Bench is now #1 on the New York Times Bestseller list for children’s books.

The Brits apparently have better taste than the Americans. And in America, the book should be called THE BONKERS, Just-call-me-Harry's favorite word.

Yeah, we know R79

[quote]The Bench is now #1 on the New York Times Bestseller list for children’s books.

Two countries, divided by a common language.

The numbers are completely manipulated. The thread title is correct.

This and the imminent rumored dropping by Spotify will be noted by other corporations.

Can someone post all her ramblings from this book? From what I read it makes no sense!

The Cuntess and her Gingetard are an untouchable toxin. It's beyond belief and beyond contempt that Netflix paid $150 million for their shit.

Don't believe everything Sunshine Sucks claims, R93.

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Yeah that headline was very deceptive. Highly unlikely that Netflix gave them a $150million check. Most likely, the 150mill was a number that Netflix, along w Sussex handlers-floated to represent the earnings forecast & potential budgets the Sussexes would’ve been allowed if the partnership was profitable for Netflix. they were given prob something but not that. I’m sure there are some media/entertainment ppl here that are more savvy than me that explain it better!

The Netflix number would have included production costs, if, you know, they produced anything. It was not all to them, only a portion.

Their monthly overhead must be huge, and then there is the tens of millions in placed PR.

I don’t know why she thinks that her book redefines masculinity.

It is very interesting to watch men with their children. Not all, but many, become silly and sweet and vulnerable. Any man picking up that book is already a man who can lay down the macho act.

Stop the presses! MeGain has broken her maternity leave to speak!

“Thanks for buying my book, suckaz!”

TRUTH

[quote]The book is based on a poem that Meghan wrote for Harry as a Father's Day gift,

No wonder it had to be written in kindergarten-level English.

R99 If she had any more bronzer on, she could light up a town off the grid.

Aren't children's books authors held to a bit of a higher standard?

From The Times:

“Meghan portrayed herself as the victim,” recalled one Kensington Palace staffer, “but she was the bully. People felt run over by her. They didn’t know how to handle this woman. They thought she was a complete narcissist and sociopath — basically unhinged. Which was why the pair of them were drawn to each other in the first place — both damaged goods.”

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I think NPR will fawn on Sunday morning. I think there will be no hard hitting questions and it may be taped, not live. What do you all think?

Definitely pre-recorded imo r106. Nothing they do is not prior edited/photoshopped/filtered/rehearsed etc.

She could never do a spontaneous Q&A with a real journalist.

She must have PAID NPR to interview her, thus they can't be critical or anything.

R107 and even if it's not a prerecorded one, rest assured there will be NO questions that might be to Meghsy's disliking.

Did anyone hear her on NPR?

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The child is not reading books at age 2. FFS. He may be read to by a nanny. In the Oprah Book Club promoting video of last year, Megs was reading a 4+ book to a 1 year old, who, in a developmentally appropriate way, was more interested in throwing it.

They way Dim & Duch speak about children it does not sound like they spend time with any. The developmental skills, language abilities, etc are really off.

R112 The Harkles went through something like four nannies when they were still in the UK, including one who quit suddenly in the middle of the night. I believe even without the turn over they had more nannies at any given time than William and Catherine with their three kids.

I imagine he does love story time. One of the few moments in any day with reasonable odds his parents won't be talking about themselves.

All this promo on Father's Day, given how she has treated her own father, is gross. Knauf had to prompt her to pretend to care about his health when the elderly man had just had a heart attack!

R113 - The Cambridges have had only one nannie since the birth of Prince George. Nanny Maria is apparently of Hispanic descent and fluent in Spanish, and the Cambridges asked that she speak as much Spanish around the children as possible to expose them to fluency in two languages.

So Meghan spent father's day not talking to her own father, or her father-in-law and instead goes on the radio to promote a book about fatherhood..............it's like getting advice from a dog on how to wipe your ass.

When the divorce begins and Meghan s lawyers start on about Harry's failings as husband and father, his lawyers will be well advised to start reading from The Bench and revisiting this sort of interview.

Ginge and Cringe will never divorce, Harry will off himself first.

She bought him a bench for Father's Day. Seriously.

R120, what was MM supposed to do, buy Harry some power tools, a fancy car detailing kit or chef's knives for Father's Day? I guess she could have gotten him a few more rescue chickens though.

She could have just given him a blowie for Father's Day since her pussy is still recuperating. His cock is likely rancid though

Do you think she puffed out the baby herself? Anyway I'm sure she could do anal if her cunt is still sore.

R120, there wasn’t a bench ALREADY?! I’m literally laughing at this. You cannot make this shit UP.

Per Vanity Fair on 23 June 2021 - Meghan Markle’s debut children’s book The Bench started out as just a Father’s Day present for Prince Harry, but it’s now become a #1 New York Times bestseller.

Hahahaha, r125. That’s really infuriating, actually. Like, she was just throwing this little thing together and suddenly a publisher decided it was so cute that they hired an illustrator (I hope HE talks someday!) and they begged her to allow them to publish it. And they allowed her to do just ONE interview and no other publicity because she’s just had a baby.

R121 - A complimentary DNA test with 23andMe?

Six new grey shirts?

Hair plugs?

Better yet:

A concubine?

R117 - Father's Day? She didn't even mention Juneteenth.

I suppose after naming her daughter after two iconic women famous for their alabaster complexions and blue eyes, one of whom her husband had recently accused of the shitty parenting that had led to his genetic pain . . . it might have seemed a bit, ah, "off" to start talking about racism and colour and blackness and all that . . .

especially if she couldn't tie the new holiday to the BRF.

Anyone see the post from Clarence House showing Charles gave them millions at the start of 2020 to fund their new life? Now a "spokesperson" for Harry states he was still correct when he told Oprah they were cut off at the start of last year as he meant "the UK financial year" which start in April. Clearly.

R129 - Dear God, talk about reaching.

Did the rep address the fact that Harry expectations that revenues from the Duchy of Cornwall should continue to support him in the next financial year were unreasonable, and that given his $40 million trust fund, an additional $3 million from his father, that his choice of a $14 million home in California should not have been added as a burden to the people of the Duchy of Cornwall or his father? And if he chose a home like that, it was on him to figure out how to support it?

R129 - From what I read, Harry has not received any funding from Charles or the Crown Sovereign Grant as of 01 April 2020. The last day the Sussexes were working Royals was March 31, 2020. Harry is not lying and Buckingham Palace is not lying. The fiscal year in the UK is April 1 to March 31. The end of the UK fiscal year coincided with the end of the Sussex tenure as Senior Working Royals.

They can't concede lying about that, R130, all the OTHER lies in the vid may receive renewed focus.

R131 I don't disagree, but stating he was cut off at the start of last year is disingenuous - most people assume he means January. Why word it like that? Why not say "no financial support after we left?"

Plus they clearly got a lump sum to help them start over, which was very generous of Charles since he'd been knifed in the back.

Her Royal Floppiness is concerned over next week's statue unveiling after royals' 'frostiness' to Harry

MEGHAN MARKLE is said to be worried over how Prince Harry might be received by his relatives during his UK visit next week, especially as the Duke was shocked himself at how his family reacted to him during Prince Philip's funeral, reports claim.

hahahaha The book flops, now H's return would be a flop too!!!

I hope Harry won't break into a panic being back in London, we know how triggering it is for him.

He can do that rapid eye movement therapy he loves in front of his mother's statue.

OMG!!! This article certainly will make sMEGs seethe with jealousy and fury, pulling her weaves out like a mad Medea!!

hahahaha

Kate Middleton emerges victorious as Meghan Markle's 'vanity project' fails to compare

KATE, the Duchess of Cambridge has easily bested Meghan Markle's "vanity project" with the Duchess of Sussex's book failing to rank on Amazon's top 200 bestsellers on the first day of its release.

The fun thing is, you know Megalomaniac read that article.

Can you name anyone on earth more likely to Google herself?