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Meghan’s book flop

Meghan Markle’s children’s book is already heading for the bargain bins as sales flopped and it was panned by critics.

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by Anonymousreply 73Yesterday at 5:04 AM

Oh goody. Obsessive-compulsive Meghan Markle post #1,366,457.

by Anonymousreply 1Last Tuesday at 4:14 PM

Oh wow according to British tabloid The Sun her book is a “flop.”

by Anonymousreply 2Last Tuesday at 4:18 PM

Just another vanity project. Aren’t all of her projects vanity projects? Including her marriage.

As for her “book” deal, I wouldn’t be surprised if it’s just a convenient way for the Sussexes to launder some money. Probably too many eyeballs on Archewell’s financials right now & that tacky Montecito monstrosity ain’t gonna pay for itself.

Kate’s book sales are killing it this week. I think Hold still is #2 or something. Bet the Douchess punched a designer beige pillow, guzzled a bottle of wine & screamed at the help when she found out about that.

by Anonymousreply 3Last Tuesday at 4:20 PM

She’s an asshole

by Anonymousreply 4Last Tuesday at 4:21 PM

Say what you want, but the book is now #3 of all books on Amazon.

Not exactly a flop.

by Anonymousreply 5Last Tuesday at 4:26 PM

They're also reporting that she got at least half-a-million dollars up front for the book, so it hardly matters if it flops, she's already got the dough.

by Anonymousreply 6Last Tuesday at 5:19 PM

R6– it does matter if she wants another publishing house to give her an advance ever again

by Anonymousreply 7Last Tuesday at 6:30 PM

Piers Morgan is mocking Meghan Markle's children's book 'The Bench' after it was labelled a "semi-literate vanity project" and failed to make Amazon's bestsellers list.

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by Anonymousreply 8Last Wednesday at 6:17 AM

International flop

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by Anonymousreply 9Last Wednesday at 6:18 AM

What was the book about? Teaching kids how to be manipulative liars?

by Anonymousreply 10Last Wednesday at 6:31 AM

Who is it who reviews children's books? How is that even a thing? How can a children's book be bad?

See Jane and Puff. Run, Puff, run. See Spot run. See Spot and Puff chase Dick.

How can you give that a bad review?

by Anonymousreply 11Last Wednesday at 6:34 AM

ha ha

by Anonymousreply 12Last Wednesday at 6:38 AM

Writing books that children actually LIKE is not as easy as it sounds, r11.

If you’ve spent any time reading to or with children (not sure there are too many here who have, demographics being what they are, no shade), you’ll observe that some books have well-worn covers and pages, and some remain pristine. Everyone here who was a happy reader as a child knows this.

The illustrations are beautiful, the text is dry and preachy and try-hard. It’s one of those books that you give a man as a Father’s Day present from his child — and no child will ever ask to read it.

by Anonymousreply 13Last Wednesday at 6:41 AM

Well even his mother said he was THICK so 1 instruction a page might be all he can process.

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by Anonymousreply 14Last Wednesday at 7:48 AM

.....

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by Anonymousreply 15Last Wednesday at 7:49 AM

She's a flop. Unless you count rapidly becoming the new Anjelina Jolie.

by Anonymousreply 16Last Wednesday at 7:53 AM

"You'll be his supporter."

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by Anonymousreply 17Last Wednesday at 8:00 AM

[quote][R6]– it does matter if she wants another publishing house to give her an advance ever again

What part of "#3 on Amazon" is unclear to you?

by Anonymousreply 18Last Wednesday at 8:02 AM

R2 - The book is not a flop. The Sun or "Scum" will hate on anybody to cell newspapers and generate clicks for revenues. See below:

Later in the day on Tuesday, 08 June 2021, Amazon updated their sales charts and The Bench was #3 on the American Amazon sales list and the #1 children’s book in the US. Why some people had the expectation that Meghan was going to do John Grisham or J. K. Rowling numbers right out of the gate is is a little bit strange and beyond my comprehension.

Children's books never sell like adult books. This is a kids’ book and it is not a Harry Potter book which very few books, adult's or children's, ever are.

by Anonymousreply 19Last Wednesday at 8:10 AM

What category is it number 3 in? See, that matters.

by Anonymousreply 20Last Wednesday at 8:11 AM

They are only tolerated in the US. In the UK where it matters, they are a flop in general.

by Anonymousreply 21Last Wednesday at 8:14 AM

R20 - Amazon's overall sales list of what is is "currently" being ordered, sold and shipped.

The "sales list" is different from the "best seller list" . The sales list is what is selling "now" in real time and the "best seller list" is an aggregate of "ALL" sales since the list began.

by Anonymousreply 22Last Wednesday at 8:15 AM

A massive flop, but she should call it "The Ghosting, Hypocritical Bench."

by Anonymousreply 23Last Wednesday at 8:18 AM

The book may not be "quality" literature but it is NOT a financial flop no matter who is forking out the money for purchase, no matter what the IQ of the purchaser is or their reason for purchase.

by Anonymousreply 24Last Wednesday at 8:27 AM

[quote] What category is it number 3 in?

Books written by the mother's of princes.

by Anonymousreply 25Last Wednesday at 8:38 AM

I worked in the publishing industry for several years. Couple things to note here. First off the Amazon Bestseller List isn't actually a bestsellers list in a traditional sense (e.g. getting the most sales) because it takes into account the number of "clicks" a product gets. Many self published others use this trick to get their books high up on the sellers list despite very low actual sales. Also, the publishers for Meghan's book appear to be following the tried and true method of artificially stimulating sales (thereby making the book a "bestseller") by drastically slashing the price of the book during it's opening week of sales. Publishers have been using this trick for years now as physical book sales have plummeted. This is often done for "named" authors whose book is not generating the buzz the publisher had anticipated. Finally, I suspect Meghan's most ardent fans are buying multiple copies of the book, again to push up sales.

by Anonymousreply 26Last Wednesday at 8:41 AM

*that should be self-published authors!

by Anonymousreply 27Last Wednesday at 8:49 AM

Thanks, R26, at one point yesterday it appeared to suddenly move from #200 to #3 very late in the day, did not seem organic at all. The text is cringy and I personally am not a huge fan of the illustrator's style. Hard pass.

by Anonymousreply 28Last Wednesday at 8:52 AM

I told her not to go after the Klan Granny demo.

by Anonymousreply 29Last Wednesday at 9:06 AM

I wonder how many of the people purchasing have children of their own to read it to.

by Anonymousreply 30Last Wednesday at 9:48 AM

Where are the profits going to? Anyone got a copy of the shite text?

by Anonymousreply 31Last Wednesday at 10:23 AM

Well it's number three on Amazon USA. It's in the top 5 for 13 other sections. So your wrong op. But it was just faux outrage to keep the UK tabloid click cycle articles trending.

by Anonymousreply 32Last Wednesday at 10:31 AM

Assume Archwell, R31, which under DE law is only required to spend 5% of income on charitable purposes.

by Anonymousreply 33Last Wednesday at 10:33 AM

Assume means guess which means not fact. Right?

by Anonymousreply 34Last Wednesday at 10:34 AM

R30 made me LOL because I immediately thought of those women who collect those ReBorn dolls.

But seriously, this is one of those books that fraus purchase to give to their husbands on Father’s Day, with an inscription from the kid(s). Nobody will read it more than once.

And when I think about how many “intact” families there are with a father in the picture… it’s kind of grim.

by Anonymousreply 35Last Wednesday at 11:35 AM

The book may be a bestseller because the price has been slashed. It might sell a lot of copies but probably not enough for the publisher to even breakeven.

by Anonymousreply 36Last Wednesday at 12:34 PM

Is her memoir coming out soon ?

by Anonymousreply 37Last Wednesday at 12:55 PM

It seems Archwell has bought 2k copies to donate

by Anonymousreply 38Last Wednesday at 1:51 PM

You could almost feel sorry for the bottom feeders tasked with it, but how exhausting must it be to have to come up with ways to prop up that dame's ego?

by Anonymousreply 39Last Wednesday at 1:55 PM

R38 I don't doubt you but source?

by Anonymousreply 40Last Wednesday at 2:06 PM

[Quote]I immediately thought of those women who collect those ReBorn dolls.

R30 here. Goodness! I'd never heard of this. Thank you for a new, potential rabbit hole. Yikes.

by Anonymousreply 41Last Wednesday at 2:29 PM

I think in the fall, R37

by Anonymousreply 42Last Wednesday at 3:58 PM

Wonder if Meghan has been sending 4am email instructions? Does she ever sleep?

by Anonymousreply 43Last Wednesday at 10:42 PM

Tell us what you really think Irish Times LMAOOOOO

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by Anonymousreply 44Last Thursday at 11:13 AM

The New York Times released its review today - The Tortured Rhyme and Reason of Meghan Markle’s Picture Book Debut

by Anonymousreply 45Last Friday at 8:53 AM

A reviewer who read it said that it is actually a book written FOR Harry. That basically it's not about Archie at all.

by Anonymousreply 46Last Friday at 8:57 AM

It flops because she is a lying, hypocritical cunt!!!

by Anonymousreply 47Last Friday at 10:30 AM

WORSE than Chrissy Teigen, R47, at least she did not allegedly superglue anyone's eyes together, only verbally bullied.

by Anonymousreply 48Last Friday at 10:40 AM

Thank you, R44, for the heads up.

The book is AWFUL!!!!!

[quote]Meghan Markle apparently wrote some version of these 169 words as a private message to her husband after the birth of their son. That is a lovely sentiment, and that is also where the words should have stayed: private. She has a famous name, and that must be the sole reason Puffin took on this book. What can it all be about but money, and hoping the book will sell by the benchload? Any publishing house would have made the same decision to take on Meghan Markle, and it’s naive to imagine otherwise.

[quote]It’s just a terrible shame The Bench is quite so awful. Because I am sure of one thing: Lilibet “Lili” Diana will most certainly be the subject of another book in due course. Which will be equally bad.

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by Anonymousreply 49Last Friday at 10:50 AM

How long before she's flashing her boobs and clunge for a men's mag? She will cloak it in feminism and body-positivity.

by Anonymousreply 50Last Friday at 11:05 AM

^ And ouch a deux.

by Anonymousreply 51Last Friday at 11:39 AM

Well, she got what she wanted. She's the most famous woman in the world.

by Anonymousreply 52Last Friday at 11:40 AM

R52 not even close

by Anonymousreply 53Last Friday at 11:43 AM

Awww, Duchess Pump Pump's book went Flop Flop.

by Anonymousreply 54Last Friday at 11:45 AM

In the UK pump is a term for farting

by Anonymousreply 55Last Friday at 11:49 AM

R55, that's funny! Pump has a number of colloquial meanings, including how one begets children. Perhaps Meghan would be reluctant to be known as Duchess Pump- pump, whether or not it fits.

What she produced is definitely not a children's book and the illustrations are awful. I can see it as a published manual for her husband, though she probably has to read it to him.

by Anonymousreply 56Last Friday at 12:19 PM

R55 made me snarfle iced coffee. Hit my funny bone just the right way. When I was a kid, our polite term for “fart” was “puff”.

“Ewww! Who puffed?” (It was usually my sister.)

by Anonymousreply 57Last Friday at 12:19 PM

Her inscription: pump pump

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by Anonymousreply 58Last Friday at 12:21 PM

Pump pump

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by Anonymousreply 59Last Friday at 12:22 PM

When the Cuntess goes cray cray

Has anyone asked if she's okay?

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by Anonymousreply 60Last Friday at 12:25 PM

It’s that damned Queen’s fault….bitch

by Anonymousreply 61Last Friday at 12:31 PM

R56 R57 glad I gave you a laugh. "Puff" was our polite term too. Pump is a bit ruder. Hehe

by Anonymousreply 62Last Friday at 1:11 PM

Pump is a more cruder term for fart here in the UK. Usually used by kids or teenagers.

by Anonymousreply 63Last Friday at 1:12 PM

What size are the letters saying Meghan, The Duchess of Sussex on the book's spine? They're fucking huge.

Seriously, this is just ridiculous.

by Anonymousreply 64Last Friday at 3:26 PM

[quote] It seems Archwell has bought 2k copies to donate

And after reading r26, I imagine they bought them one click at a time, on Amazon.

by Anonymousreply 65Last Friday at 3:34 PM

This is fucking amazing LOL

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by Anonymousreply 66Last Friday at 6:05 PM

.....

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by Anonymousreply 67Last Friday at 6:49 PM

It’s okay that it’s a flop. Harry will save them with his dirty laundry book.

by Anonymousreply 68Last Friday at 6:49 PM

This is your desk

Where the critics cannot hurt you

And you can spend all day

Signalling your virtue.

This is the desk

For papa and son, when he gets older

Though not MY papa —

No, I gave him the cold shoulder.

by Anonymousreply 69Last Friday at 6:49 PM

The New York Times review was the most damning because it was the kindest. It basically wouldn't let her get away with bad writing, but laid out exactly what was wrong with the writing and what an editor ought to have fixed.

Which begs the question, why couldn't the editor fix it?

by Anonymousreply 70Last Friday at 6:56 PM

Narcs do not take well to criticism, constructive or not. She is said to be a nightmare to work with, on many continents.

by Anonymousreply 71Last Friday at 7:00 PM

R70, she doesn’t listen to anyone’s advice or guidance because she knows best.

by Anonymousreply 72Last Friday at 7:01 PM

This is petty but she's caused so much strife and grief for so many people with her ruthlessness that I can't help but giggle at her contending with these reviews while contending with all those postpartum hormones roiling around inside of her.

by Anonymousreply 73Yesterday at 5:04 AM
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