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Rich Girls Marrying Down — How Prevalent?

I graduated high school in 2004.

I haven’t given thought to my old classmates in years, but recently dug up an old yearbook and got curious on what these people are up to.

I grew up in a wealthy Dallas neighborhood where many kids lived in households with incomes of $200k or more and got flashy luxury cars for their 16th birthdays.

Many of the prettiest girls carried themselves with an air of superiority and even back then, I think most people envisioned them marrying wealthy, well connected men after college.

I was surprised to find that many of them have married middle class or worse:

One of the most obnoxious girls whose parents lived in an $800k house married a man who works at a meat processing plant and lives in a hick town in the middle of Arkansas. A pretty Jewish girl whose parents lived in a $1MM house married a manager at a Gap. Another married a former military, low-level sales person. Yet another, who used to drive her parents Lexus LX to school, married a blue collar guy. They mostly all have kids but their current lifestyles are far from the privilege they grew up with.

I was surprised by this because these girls were very attractive and should have married at minimum guys in their own social strata. Is this common?

by Anonymousreply 96May 5, 2021 8:57 PM

They married to get the big dicks.

by Anonymousreply 1May 4, 2021 3:15 AM

All dumb.

by Anonymousreply 2May 4, 2021 3:21 AM

OP, did the girls marry before or after 30? Because I’ve noticed that a lot of women start panicking and getting desperate if they’re still single at 30 and take the first thing they can find.

With that said, I know some women who have full time jobs and work their ass off while their husbands don’t work and lay around at home all day smoking weed and drinking. No dick in the world would be so great that I’d be putting up with that shit but to each their own. Honestly, I doubt it’s even about good dick but about having no self esteem and/or scared to be alone.

by Anonymousreply 3May 4, 2021 3:22 AM

Most people today don't have the same ability to earn what their parents did. Times have changed.

by Anonymousreply 4May 4, 2021 3:22 AM

According to F Scott Fitzgerald- Rich girls don’t marry poor boys. Of course, if the girls are really rich, the poor boys become rich.

by Anonymousreply 5May 4, 2021 3:23 AM

I don't know if they really downgraded so much OP. Living in a 800k doesn't make you rich, even by 2004 standards. There's nothing impressive about sometimes driving your parent's Lexus to school. The parents didn't give them the car and it's not a Bentley. The low-key sales guy could make more money than anyone you grew up with.

by Anonymousreply 6May 4, 2021 3:23 AM

Maybe rich is the wrong word, but certainly this was a upper middle class neighborhood, where most parents were educated, and a in a rigorous, competitive school district.

It was definitely new money and not old, so maybe that has something to do with it? I have no clue when these women married, I really don’t care. But even if after 30, they still look good enough to get a guy with some level of status.

by Anonymousreply 7May 4, 2021 3:28 AM

That one troll on here who keeps complaining about how there are no ‘good women’ left for losers like him is probably quietly sobbing into his lonely chicken tendies right now.

by Anonymousreply 8May 4, 2021 3:31 AM

OP you would be surprised at just how low the self esteem of even very attractive and rich women can be. I have a friend who is engaged to be married to a guy way inferior to her. We aren't even old, we are in our mid 20s. She is somehow convinced that she can't do better and that he is the most open minded guy she will ever meet as he has no issues drinking, partying etc with her (for context, we are all Indians). I, however would hardly classify this as open mindedness. In reality, him and his clan have subtly started to take over certain areas of her life and she is willingly blind to that (eg - she always wanted a winter wedding with close friends and extended family present, he is insisting on getting married next month with only their parents and the priest. The pandemic is insanely bad here but he has refused to wait until things are better and they both are vaccinated. This indicates two things - 1) he doesn't care about her and her parents catching covid , 2) he is aware she can do better and she will end up realising it if they wait any longer and leave him). He has infact pretty much said the 2nd point to her.

This story is just to tell you that this is happening on the other end of the world too. Society ties women's worth to getting a man and having his kids, it's extremely reductive but it's true, so women cling to the first guy who isn't outright abusive (doesn't beat them, isn't a rapist) even though he lags behind in every other way possible (bad career, bad hygiene, lazy, can't do household chores etc) . The bar is in hell.

by Anonymousreply 9May 4, 2021 3:50 AM

This might be unpopular on DL but in my opinion women shouldn't get married if the guy isn't atleast a little above them in social hierarchy. Why did I say above and not equal? Where I live (India) and pretty much in 95% of the world men have better job opportunities and salaries than women who are their counterparts. To reach the same level a women has to work way harder than a man (in general). So, a guy who is socially and economically equal to you actually worked way less for his success than you did. This will be front and centre and 1000 times magnified in a marriage and could cause resentment. I have seen such marriages among relatives and ALL OF THEM (without exceptions) hate each other and are staying together for the sake of kids.

Rare are those men who are genuinely happy when their wives are better than them. Among the ones that are happy, about 90% are so because now wifey can pay for their lifestyle and they can become lazy and sedentary. Now why would a woman be attracted to that?

by Anonymousreply 10May 4, 2021 4:06 AM

Which Dallas neighborhood are we talking about? Because if it’s not Highland Park or University Park, I doubt they’re wealthy. Also, really rich girls go to private school.

by Anonymousreply 11May 4, 2021 4:17 AM

Could be supply and demand. Could be the culture of the town. I lived in a small town with no university (no 4-year college) within reasonable driving distance. It was a brain drain situation. No sense to be smart in that town; it wasn't valued. Smart women who could support themselves were paired up with meatheads.

by Anonymousreply 12May 4, 2021 4:29 AM

In some places, after a certain amount of time, you just settle and get married. And usually that means accepting whatever is available.

by Anonymousreply 13May 4, 2021 4:32 AM

R11 has never been to Frisco, The Colony, or even Plano

by Anonymousreply 14May 4, 2021 4:33 AM

I guarantee you - most of these women spent their college years partying at some not so great schools. They prioritized friends, fashion, and fun over studying.

Their circle of friends from that is not going to be the ultra successful men. Their own jobs and job prospects are limited.

This is what you get in return. A smart, relatively handsome man with good degrees has many years to be selective to marry. A woman with limited career prospects, not a great education, and entering their early 30's are going to look to family as their main purpose in life.

When you either can't or won't do the work to have a high-paying career, family then becomes the bounce-back - "oh I prefer to raise a family" - and guess what? Rich parents WANT THOSE GRANDKIDS.

It's a win-win. Any real financial problems are taken care of by their parents. I've seen this too many times.

by Anonymousreply 15May 4, 2021 4:40 AM

[quote] I graduated high school in 2004.

YOU ARE LITERALLY AN INFANT.

by Anonymousreply 16May 4, 2021 4:41 AM

It’s not Highland Park, and I’m not going to say which neighborhood it is. There are many DFW neighborhoods/subdivisions with incomes in the $200k-$400k rivaling HP. Is Beverly Hills the only wealthy neighborhood in LA? No.

by Anonymousreply 17May 4, 2021 4:42 AM

Never date down. It is the first rule of dating.

by Anonymousreply 18May 4, 2021 4:42 AM

[quote] Where I live (India)

Why on earth would any civilized country want to emulate India and it's backwards culture? Get a clue.

by Anonymousreply 19May 4, 2021 4:47 AM

India? Can you imagine?

by Anonymousreply 20May 4, 2021 4:56 AM

OP were like Harriet the Spy going to the court house to look up the property evaluations of your classmate’s domiciles?

by Anonymousreply 21May 4, 2021 6:07 AM

We were quite poor growing up, and my fairly intelligent only sister (who I'm close to) STILL managed to marry down.

by Anonymousreply 22May 4, 2021 6:16 AM

The women have all the high paying jobs due to feminism and a lot of men are unemployed and not by choice. Welcome to the New World Order

by Anonymousreply 23May 4, 2021 6:16 AM

Did you ever think that these women simply decided that the pretensions of petit bourgeoisie life were not for them?

Better to be Daisy than Hyacinth. More fun, too.

by Anonymousreply 24May 4, 2021 6:22 AM

Sorry to go off topic, but Highland Park is one of the wealthiest neighborhoods of Dallas? All I know is that Froy lived there and as a child of divorce I assumed it was a middle class to lower middle class neighborhood. I never heard of him coming from a wealthy background before.

by Anonymousreply 25May 4, 2021 6:35 AM

Maybe because they found someone they love and loves them unlike your own lonely and pathetic self?

Stop being bitter and grow up, OP.

by Anonymousreply 26May 4, 2021 6:41 AM

R15 great post and very true. A lot of pretty women follow shallow pursuits and it costs them in the end.

by Anonymousreply 27May 4, 2021 6:43 AM

Another anecdote. These women have already "accomplished" the joie de vivre that comes with freedom of choices when you have more expendable income. They just have a very narrow view of what these accomplishments are. They probably visited many big cities, had fun with their clothing, got the cars, great grooming is accessible, shopping is convenient. This is it for them. There's not much left to accomplish except motherhood.

by Anonymousreply 28May 4, 2021 6:49 AM

In other words, R28, they are searching for meaning in their lives.

by Anonymousreply 29May 4, 2021 6:51 AM

Poor guy rich wife must be hard though. I knew a couple like that. She always had final say over lots of things like could he buy a new car and stuff. Sort of became like a parent child relationship.

by Anonymousreply 30May 4, 2021 7:31 AM

[quote]Sorry to go off topic, but Highland Park is one of the wealthiest neighborhoods of Dallas? All I know is that Froy lived there and as a child of divorce I assumed it was a middle class to lower middle class neighborhood. I never heard of him coming from a wealthy background before.

R25 Highland Park is the most affluent city in Texas and is ranked the 7th richest place in the United States. Acc. to Wikipedia.

You assume everyone whose parents are divorced live in poverty? lmao. Not every inch of Highland Park is occupied by wealth but I know the HP neighborhood where Froy is from and it's at least upper middle.

by Anonymousreply 31May 4, 2021 7:34 AM

I've seen pattern with this. The rich girl often find what is a good guy, stay with him for years and treat him like shit. Push comes to shove and she wants to get married, so he ends the relationship, hooks up quickly and marries someone else, and she's in her 30s and back on the scene competing with women in their 20s.

by Anonymousreply 32May 4, 2021 7:57 AM

Who the fuck cares OP? This is a LGBT site. We don't give a shit about your first world hetero girl troubles. You sound like a juvenile, whiny, materialistic bitch.

by Anonymousreply 33May 4, 2021 11:40 AM

Maybe it is a low-key form of rebellion ? I went to school with a bunch of affluent WASP-y types and two of the most beautiful girls from my class married hot Mexican dudes.

by Anonymousreply 34May 4, 2021 12:06 PM

R32 - or, what I've seen, is that the husbands get sick of being under the thumb of their wives and in-laws.

There are 2 source of power in a het relationship that typically balance each other out - the one more money and the one that bears and rears the children (i.e. family). Typically it was male vs female. But if the woman has the money and the family, then it's completely lop-sided and the man has really no power at all.

Let's face it, women have the upper hand in divorce settlements still in terms of custody and finances. It's not equal in that regard.

by Anonymousreply 35May 4, 2021 1:12 PM

So much snobbery in this thread. Maybe these girls learned from some of their parents' marriages, and the place they're from, that money doesn't buy love or happiness.

by Anonymousreply 36May 4, 2021 1:33 PM

Maybe it’s like Sybil marrying the chauffeur, but they all married the lawn guys, and the pool guys and the tennis instructors?

by Anonymousreply 37May 4, 2021 1:39 PM

"Let's face it, women have the upper hand in divorce settlements still in terms of custody and finances. It's not equal in that regard."

Most women end up poorer after divorce, we are not talking about celebrities here

by Anonymousreply 38May 4, 2021 1:42 PM

I will have to say it is unusual OP

Most of the girls I grew up with (Manhattan private schools) married men who make a lot of money.

Often men who they would not have looked at twice in high school or college or shortly thereafter, but whose jobs at Goldman Sachs, Mt. Sinai or Dewey LeBouef made them suddenly seem very attractive.

There are a few who are more "artsy" who married guys with similarly low paying jobs--say documentary film maker--but there's clearly a sense that their parents and/or trust funds are paying for many of their expenses.

As for the former, I distinctly remember a conversation between two girls I grew up with about a very cute guy who was interested in one of them. We were probably late 20s at the time. "He works in advertising," she offered as an explanation as to why she wasn't all that into him. Her friend nodded knowingly and later, when I asked what that was about, they looked at me like I was insane and explained that someone who worked in advertising was unlikely to ever really make that much money (I believe the exact quote was "he'll be lucky if he makes two hundred thousand a year at some point") and so was great for a fun time, but at that age they needed to start dating guys they could get serious about.

by Anonymousreply 39May 4, 2021 1:51 PM

One last comment - if they graduated from HS in 2004, then they graduated in college in 2008, at one of the worst times economically in US history.

People who graduate during severe economic recessions or depressions tend to be behind and sometimes never get to the place where others would be. They've documented this from those who graduated during the first Bush recession of the early 90's.

After struggling for a few years with their jobs and nothing opening up, maybe they turned to having a family and said - fuck this shit. I don't think the economy really came back for jobs until 2012/2013.

So they spend 4-5 years floundering during some very important career development years. That has to be extremely frustrating and difficult.

Just a theory.

by Anonymousreply 40May 4, 2021 1:57 PM

This is a horrible generalization, but from high school through college, girls focus in on popularity and looks. At some point in their 20s the focus becomes less about looks and popularity and more about success, earning potential, and bank accounts.

This is nothing against women. Personally, I think it's wired into the DNA. Mother nature has programed it into females to look for the strongest, fittest and best mate possible to make babies and raise a family with.

When money isn't a factor, you go to the next best quality.

by Anonymousreply 41May 4, 2021 2:08 PM

R41 - well, you can add in that searching for successful guys with bright futures who want to get married in their 20's and have children is going to be a very hard task.

For many millennials, being able to own a house and have kids in your 20's is a luxury that most cannot afford.

by Anonymousreply 42May 4, 2021 2:17 PM

A shame those fellas don't get up off their asses and work in the trades, R23. Lots of money to be made there and high demand, everywhere. But I suppose all of those whining, unemployed and single straight men are just too delicate for those jobs.

No wonder the rich girls "married down". Whining is never sexy.

by Anonymousreply 43May 4, 2021 2:23 PM

Yes, rich girls dream of one day bragging to their friends that they've landed a man who works in the trades.

by Anonymousreply 44May 4, 2021 2:28 PM

I'm sure they'd be happier with a skilled tradesman then a whining, constantly unemployed one, R44.

by Anonymousreply 45May 4, 2021 2:31 PM

Well woman are fucked on a certain level, there are more woman then men entering and graduating from college then men at this point.

by Anonymousreply 46May 4, 2021 2:46 PM

One of the side effects of equality is fewer wealthy men and therefore fewer opportunities for women to marry up.

by Anonymousreply 47May 4, 2021 3:05 PM

You all need to readjust your goggles, so to speak.

Millennials from the upper middle classes--the top 15% or so--are doing fine. We graduate college with no debt and get hooked into jobs from our parents who also help with the rent for a few years and then with the down payment--our Boomer parents have all gotten wealthy off of real estate just by dint of buying houses in the 80s and 90s.

And OP aside, most of those women are able to find wealthy guys to marry. As the country's gotten more stratified, the opportunity to interact with people from other classes has shrunk. So it's far more likely that a woman who went to law school will marry a fellow BigLaw associate, etc., because that's who she is meeting.

It's the middle and working classes, that giant 85% of the population, who are struggling to keep their heads above water, won't have money to buy a house, are saddled with massive student debt, etc.

That's a huge change from when most DLers were in their 20s and 30s.

by Anonymousreply 48May 4, 2021 3:10 PM

On paper I looked like a better catch than my husband (much higher education level, born and bred in a very fancy town where YMF went to college, very skinny when I was in my 20's and 30's), but I was a mess from a poor family and had had a nervous breakdown. My husband owned a condo and has always had a job with very good benefits. We clicked humor wise even though we argue a lot. We married in our early 30's and have a son and a daughter. We have a house and a middle class existence. We look around and have a hard time finding people with lives we envy. Some people aren't asking for that much in life.

by Anonymousreply 49May 4, 2021 3:19 PM

Don't get me started.

by Anonymousreply 50May 4, 2021 3:34 PM

As someone who is close in age and social-economic background to YMF, he’s exactly right on this. I would also add that it seems to me that in the south and the sunbelt, there are a lot of boomers who are very caught up in the rat race of telegraphing regional-specific signifiers of upper-middle class prosperity, without actually being that securely upper-middle-class (both economically or culturally). So, they don’t have the ability to give their millennial children the financial start in life or the social capital to get them on the ladder of elite employment.

by Anonymousreply 51May 4, 2021 3:54 PM
Offsite Link
by Anonymousreply 52May 4, 2021 3:59 PM

Thank you R51, and I have noticed that as well about people in the South/Sunbelt. When you can buy a McMansion for $250K that would cost over $1MM elsewhere and lease a "pre-owned" Audi to go with it, it's easy to fall into that trap.

by Anonymousreply 53May 4, 2021 4:30 PM

Grab the popcorn.

by Anonymousreply 54May 4, 2021 4:54 PM

“This is nothing against women. Personally, I think it's wired into the DNA.”

Nope, it is brainwashed into them since the day they are born. Not only are they not encouraged to pursue high paying careers, they are actively discouraged. Men play along because whoever has the $$$$$$, controls.

by Anonymousreply 55May 4, 2021 5:39 PM

[...]

by Anonymousreply 56May 4, 2021 5:40 PM

Hello Phillywhore here...Happy Tuesday!! I am East Falls Philly white trash, so I didn't know "any wealthy people" until high school(Penn Charter) One of my earliest clients in the 1990's was a Canadian billionaires daughter(I didn't this family at all). Her 1st marriage was a disaster(he died 2 yrs later drug addict-HIV). After we figured out his finances, she got her share of his money. "Never again" Alice swore off marriage, except when her Aston Martin broke down on the way to a party at Lake Forest. The man who stopped(foreign car mechanic..Gary). Just celebrated their 30th wedding anniversary(4 kids.2nd son went into the business with his father).

by Anonymousreply 57May 4, 2021 6:52 PM

R48 So what you are saying YMF is that your success has nothing to do with your own achievements and is a result of just having a rich mommy and daddy?

by Anonymousreply 58May 4, 2021 7:22 PM

It's probably people who have had it with people like OP and several others on this thread.

I'm not married to anyone, but I do indeed avoid people like you.

by Anonymousreply 59May 4, 2021 7:23 PM

God every time someone creates a thread acknowledging that there are leagues in romance and dating, the insecure drama tweens come out of the woodwork. Leagues exist, and if you were high enough or had self esteem then acknowledging they exist wouldn't offend you so.

by Anonymousreply 60May 4, 2021 7:33 PM

Do you understand that individuals create their own "leagues"? Not everyone has to subscribe to the same things you want in your own life. You are not me, I am not you. Live your own life, leave others to live their own.

by Anonymousreply 61May 4, 2021 7:35 PM

[quote] Nope, it is brainwashed into them since the day they are born. Not only are they not encouraged to pursue high paying careers, they are actively discouraged.

56% of undergraduate college students are women. 54% of law students are women. 50.5% of medical students are women. 39% of MBA students are women. The ladies seem to be doing pretty well despite being “not encouraged” and “actively discouraged” from entering the professional class as you claim.

by Anonymousreply 62May 4, 2021 7:40 PM

R61 poor uggo

by Anonymousreply 63May 4, 2021 7:48 PM

Um, no, R63, quite the opposite. I can, do, and always have dated whoever I want.

by Anonymousreply 64May 4, 2021 8:13 PM

You can get a dorky accountant, lawyer, finance guy who won't do anything for you in bed and shop your life away trying to make up for it.

Or you can get a ripped hottie who works in a garage, fireman, police officer, with a big thick orgasm giving dick you enjoy riding.

by Anonymousreply 65May 4, 2021 8:23 PM

If you’re Bill Gates’ daughter, you have no other options than to “marry down”.

by Anonymousreply 66May 4, 2021 8:29 PM

What about the accountant, lawyer, finance guy who has a ripped body and big dick? I'll take one of those please

by Anonymousreply 67May 4, 2021 8:38 PM

I followed r65 's advice, but it looks like I won't get to ride dick for a while now

by Anonymousreply 68May 4, 2021 8:40 PM

R67- those types don't marry very often or early in life. Or they're gay.

by Anonymousreply 69May 4, 2021 8:40 PM

You're surprised about that, R58? Everything about YMF screams "privileged UES upbringing, elite education and high-paying job - all provided by or through Mom and Dad".

by Anonymousreply 70May 4, 2021 8:50 PM

R70 - I believe he was raised on UWS. Big difference. And I believe he worked hard in school, so he just maximized his opportunities. YMF doesn't seem like a privileged asshole who jerked around and partied and had his parents buy his way into a good school.

YMF isn't like those at all. Don't hate people just because they have money.

by Anonymousreply 71May 4, 2021 9:13 PM

[quote]Or you can get a ripped hottie who works in a garage, fireman, police officer, with a big thick orgasm giving dick you enjoy riding.

Those types get snatched up pretty quickly by the Tammys, Cheryls and Lisas of the world.

by Anonymousreply 72May 4, 2021 9:23 PM

“56% of undergraduate college students are women. 54% of law students are women. 50.5% of medical students are women. 39% of MBA students are women. The ladies seem to be doing pretty well despite being “not encouraged” and “actively discouraged” from entering the professional class as you claim.”

Yup, but that is a very recent development.

by Anonymousreply 73May 4, 2021 10:15 PM

R65 The problem with choosing the latter is that the “hot, ripped guy” has a shelf life and by 40, is balding with a beer belly and you’re now stuck with a slob and you’re still poor. This is why you do all your fucking around in your 20’s and get it out of your system so that marrying the geeky rich guy in your 30’s won’t be as bad.

Sorry but looks and fun fade away and doesn’t pay the bills.

by Anonymousreply 74May 4, 2021 10:43 PM

I guess it's due to the male offspring of the rich being well, boring as all hell. And that some average guys have game for days.

I've been around money - the thing about old money and new rich is true.

by Anonymousreply 75May 4, 2021 10:55 PM

As someone who used to live reading Burke's Peerage (the most fascinating book ever), even in the old days, daughters married down. You'll have an Earl or Baron with ten daughters and some of them have married "John Brown, of Squeeligiggin" or something like that. That's why they say all the English are descended from King Edward III. [Now returning you to the present day].

by Anonymousreply 76May 4, 2021 10:57 PM

A lot of the comments going on about marrying a hot guy with a big dick seem to ignore the tendency for women to lose interest in sex after the kids show up and then stop putting out altogether when menopause happens.

by Anonymousreply 77May 4, 2021 11:05 PM

[quote] The problem with choosing the latter is that the “hot, ripped guy” has a shelf life and by 40, is balding with a beer belly and you’re now stuck with a slob and you’re still poor.

Who cares as long as he’s still got that one-eyed blue collar throbber.

by Anonymousreply 78May 4, 2021 11:05 PM

OP seriously? The "prettiest girls with an air of superiority" all peaked in high school. OF COURSE they stayed in Dallas and married random guys before they turned 30. That doesn't surprise me at all. Basic bitch fraus. So what else is new?

by Anonymousreply 79May 4, 2021 11:06 PM

That's a trite stereotype, R74. There are more than a few "blue collar" types that are not idiots when it comes to money. Actual money. It's not rocket science. Spend less than you make, invest as securely as one can, take a bit of risk with money you're willing to risk and earn up. It's not as uncommon as you think.

by Anonymousreply 80May 4, 2021 11:16 PM

R73 it’s been true for a while, actually, the thing is -/ most of those type women work their ass off until they get engaged, and that either quit or work but in a more “low key passion project.” Getting that kind of education is something they feel they should just do -and a lot of that is to meet the right people eventually to marry, too. And no one ever actually admits that they’re only going to work in some high pressure job until they don’t have to anymore.

by Anonymousreply 81May 4, 2021 11:43 PM

Women marrying down is standard enough for it to have a term in sociology. I forget what, if someone cares to remind?

by Anonymousreply 82May 4, 2021 11:45 PM

Pull your head out of your own ass and look at the world outside yourself, and you might be able to see it, R82.

by Anonymousreply 83May 4, 2021 11:50 PM

I warned Ali against doing this. I even took her to the construction site to see my old lover and how hard his life was.

by Anonymousreply 84May 4, 2021 11:53 PM

Thank you for the back-up R71, much appreciated and I'd like to think that what you said is true. (Well, I know the part about growing up on the UWS is true, but the rest...)

by Anonymousreply 85May 5, 2021 12:03 AM

[quote]The women have all the high paying jobs due to feminism and a lot of men are unemployed and not by choice.

Feminism and equality at the workplace are unquestionably good things. Ironically, though, awareness of workplace harassment has actually limited mobility through marriage for some women.

My mother was a clerk/secretary who married my dad, an executive in the same office. He had a professional degree and she was a small-town girl who barely finished high school. Her friends/classmates included nurses who married doctors, waitresses who dated and married wealthy patrons, and others who found their partners at the workplace. NONE of this is encouraged by employers anymore and most is actively discouraged forbidden. (I've posted about my mother and her mobility before on DL.)

by Anonymousreply 86May 5, 2021 12:28 AM

^ discouraged and/or forbidden

by Anonymousreply 87May 5, 2021 12:30 AM

[quote] Women marrying down is standard enough for it to have a term in sociology. I forget what, if someone cares to remind?

It’s called Disappointing Your Parents.

by Anonymousreply 88May 5, 2021 12:44 AM

r88 or "Fuck You, Mom and Dad!"

by Anonymousreply 89May 5, 2021 12:47 AM

Maybe their absentee dads were away on the weekends fucking the office ladies and their stay at home moms were busy hitting the wine and finding fault with every inch of their existence.

Maybe they took at look at the 6000 sq ft house they lived in and thought nah, it's not worth it. Maybe they married for love.

Or maybe they thought husbands would amount to something more and are stuck.

by Anonymousreply 90May 5, 2021 3:46 AM

One of the highest paying trades is being an elevator mechanic / repairman. Huge bucks! It's difficult to become one, lots of mechanical demands, but these guys have the bucks and fly under the radar.

by Anonymousreply 91May 5, 2021 2:53 PM

They aren't doing a very good job tbh R91.

by Anonymousreply 92May 5, 2021 7:22 PM

R91 - and that's because of unions. The physical trades are one of the few areas where unions still exist and support high wages.

by Anonymousreply 93May 5, 2021 7:51 PM

Actually R91/R92/R93 the ones who make the money are the ones who start their own contracting businesses and soon have four or five plumbers or electricians or elevator repairmen working for them.

They are the "upscale blue collar" types that Paul Fussell identified some 40 years ago in his book "Class" and they still exist today and have been discussed on DL in terms of how they mystify the more traditional upper middle class types when they show up at the same $800/night room resorts and the usual guests take a look that their non-tribal tattoos, cut off t-shirts and the wives hooker make-up and decide they must have won some sort of contest or even the lottery.

Q-Anon Congresswoman Marjorie Taylor Greene's father was a prime example of this: a home siding installer with a high school education, he started his own siding business and grew it into a multimillion dollar operation.

by Anonymousreply 94May 5, 2021 8:44 PM

It used to be very hard to break into the highest-paid trade unions without a connection. Is that still the case?

by Anonymousreply 95May 5, 2021 8:54 PM

A friend of mine married down. Her father owns a private hospital. She met her husband at a volleyball event when they were both students. He's a good and loyal guy who studied hard and now works for a Pharma company. She holds a PhD and plans to cut down on her career to take care of their 2 year old daughter.

Tbh if she wanted to marry above her status she would have to find him abroad.

by Anonymousreply 96May 5, 2021 8:57 PM
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