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Loss

I know it takes time.

Do you have any advice?

by Anonymousreply 19April 20, 2021 9:15 PM

More water, less Grape Nehi.

by Anonymousreply 1April 20, 2021 5:04 AM

Powdered donuts.

by Anonymousreply 2April 20, 2021 5:06 AM

Stay busy.

by Anonymousreply 3April 20, 2021 5:07 AM

Here's some advice - don't compound your problems with bad solutions, ie, self-medicating with food, drugs, alcohol, risky sex.

Reach out for help, such as a grief group or therapist to help you cope.

If it's the loss of a loved pet, don't wait too long before getting another one.

Hope you feel better..

by Anonymousreply 4April 20, 2021 5:07 AM

My best friend put down her pug of 14 years old a week ago because of a brain tumor. He also had lower leg paralysis that had lasted for 3+ years which he received surgery for and even bought one of those wheelchairs for him, unrelated to brain tumor (he had problems with 2 of his lower spinal discs). he had been incontinent for the past 3 years and when she found out he had a brain tumor as well a couple weeks ago, she just felt like she couldn't keep him alive and in any good quality of life, that he was suffering. She loved him like her third child, doted on him and spent loads of money on him to give him the best possible life he could have. She had him cremated and bought a personalized urn to keep his ashes in and so she could keep him with her wherever she moves to in the future.

i asked her if she was going to get another dog (he wasn't her first) and she said she just didn't think she could go through the severe grief she's been experiencing ever again. i've talked to her every day for the past 7 days because i know how much pain she is in. she had to leave her home for a few days so she didn't cry every 15 minutes because everywhere she looked reminded her of him. and i am not looking forward to the same time when my 12 year old pug is ready to shuffle off his mortal coil. i can't even imagine making the decision to pull the plug. :(

by Anonymousreply 5April 20, 2021 5:31 AM

Take it one day at a time. One hour at a time. One minute at a time, if you need to. Be gentle and patient with yourself. Allow the feelings to come. Cry. A lot. Talk to someone about it. I’ve lost so many people and pets I loved. Still love. It’s a process. Give yourself time. It does get better. I promise you.

by Anonymousreply 6April 20, 2021 5:42 AM

sorry for your loss OP.

Hang in there

by Anonymousreply 7April 20, 2021 5:45 AM

Hey LIz, it'll get better. But really, weren't you getting a bit tired of him after 73 years married? Saw the funeral service on Saturday and really thought it looks like William and Harry will work it all out afterall. You'll find you came to the right place to get sympathy. The folks here at the DL are the best. Do you mind if I ask if you've posted before? Take care!

by Anonymousreply 8April 20, 2021 5:56 AM

lean into the feelings, OP, it's the only way to get through it. If you tamp them down and push them aside and try to muscle through, you WILL hit a breaking point and it won't be pretty. However, if you allow yourself the emotions and the tears to come, sooner or later time will work its unexplainable magic and your days will become bearable and then even fun again.

by Anonymousreply 9April 20, 2021 6:15 AM

Accept what is. Breathe. Stay present even through the pain. It lessens with each wave.

by Anonymousreply 10April 20, 2021 6:30 AM

Trust that time heals all wounds and keep everything in perspective. I lost my little old man chihuahua a few years ago and he was 19! He lived so long, there were days that if he didn’t come to the door quick enough when I got home, I convinced myself he was dead. We euthanized him because he became blind, deaf, and was walking in circles like something broke in his brain. He stopped eating and I got one last walk with him before his legs gave out entirely. The loss compounds itself when they’re gone because the house felt so empty. I got tired of my husband moping around and got a new pup two months later.

Two years later, I’m now the proud owner of three new doggies and can’t imagine life without them. HOWEVER, my little guy had to leave and we are convinced that he moved some things around up in heaven and sent us these three new dogs to replace him because they’re a perfect fit.

There are seasons of birth, renewal and death is very much part of a larger process we don’t completely understand until we’ve actually experienced and walked through it. I am so grateful and enjoy every moment with these dogs even more because year from now I’ll have to say goodbye to them as well. I also look back and thank people that aren’t here now that helped me so much growing up and are gone by living as bright and vivacious life living in the moment as I can today because they cannot. Mary!

Grief makes you appreciate life like hunger makes you appreciate a great meal even more.

by Anonymousreply 11April 20, 2021 9:46 AM

Yeah, cry when you need to. It's cleansing and cathartic. Do try to stay busy: see friends, get outdoors, play a sport, take a hike. Don't rely on drugs or alcohol to get you through. Do remember that time does, in fact, largely erase the pain and will leave you with the good memories. And when the time is right, try something new.

by Anonymousreply 12April 20, 2021 10:30 AM

I had my car broken into 25 years ago, and I still would like to see thieves executed. There’s no getting over loss.

by Anonymousreply 13April 20, 2021 12:45 PM

Is this the loss/death of a pet? loss/death of a human? material object? friendship?

Certain things - you don't ever "get over," for sure. You learn to compartmentalize them elsewhere so they don't overwhelm your entire life. Keep your mind busy with something new - a class, a hobby, a volunteer opportunity - so you're not wallowing in down time.

by Anonymousreply 14April 20, 2021 12:52 PM

What did you loose, Op? Socks? Job? Money? Your mind? Welcome to the 2020's.

by Anonymousreply 15April 20, 2021 12:54 PM

Boy whores do it for me.

by Anonymousreply 16April 20, 2021 1:03 PM

OP must've left her keys on top of the urinal at the bar -- AGAIN!

by Anonymousreply 17April 20, 2021 5:23 PM

here

Offsite Link
by Anonymousreply 18April 20, 2021 9:06 PM

Let yourself grieve. Don’t hold back.

by Anonymousreply 19April 20, 2021 9:15 PM
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