Things you’ve never told anyone

Mmm, more for me. Thighs absorb flavor better than the rest of the bird.

I am pansexual.

Yes, you heard it here first!

How do you fuck a pan?

That is sad because it's the part of the bird with the most flavor.

Eating breast meat is like eating a dry white sponge.

I eat raw cookie dough.

I love to eat my meats all the way down to the bone.

I love to fart on steaks before serving them to dinner guests.

[quote]How do you fuck a pan?

Get it liquored up and start with the handle.

R4, whose chicken have you had?!

Don't worry, momma is gonna send you some.

I love fried chicken.

I love fried chicken.

Something something breaSSSS.

Something something thiiiiiighs.

Something something breaSSS (no "t")

Something something thiiiiiighs.

I’m trans Asian.

Some chicken thighs are good.

My ex gave me cash to cover his half of the rent for the remainder of the lease. For some reason he thought we were on a 12 month lease instead of 9. Thanks for the $1000 Zack, you thin-dicked moron.

The reason I’m anti-car is because everyone should be allowed to drive drunk and that would never work.

Thighs are the best part of the bird.

THREAD CLOSED YOU CUNT, OP! HOW COULD YOU?

I surreptitiously took some screen shots of a straight, hot colleague during a Zoom meeting and I jack off to them regularly

I'm known for my anti-American views in public but I keep a secret folder full of naked Murican guys recorded off Chaturbate on my external hard drive. What can I say, fat cut Murican cocks make my xenophobic mussy tingle.

Speak for yourself, OP!

[quote] I am pansexual.

How do you fuck a pan?

OnlyFans is destroying a generation.

She had it comin'

It's hard to be impressed by anyone. I don't think I'm superior. I've just lived long enough to see that many people —regardless of physical beauty, accomplishments , or social status — are fucked up with all their issues.

r22 No one is without problems and anyone who says they're not is lying. It's whether they make their problems other peoples' that's the problem. I've respect for people who keep their shit to themselves.

I fucked a guy in my straight homophobic brothers' bed and didn't change the sheets. hehehe

Prince William will be a terrible monarch.

R17, do you come from one of the praeputiate nations? If so, doesn't the general American lack of foreskin turn you off, or are you not circ-obsessive?

r22 I am similar. However, I met someone recently who impressed me with her genuine humility -- she knows exactly who she is, and her limitations, and she doesn't try to be or pretend to be anything else. Perhaps because I work in a profession chock-full of huge egos (academia), I find her truly exceptional and refreshing.

r3 dressed as a satyr?

I never wanted to be Queen. It's ruined my life. Fuck Wallis Simpson!

I like to imagine I am someone else and act out stories. So much fun but I would look insane to a witness. I really should use another outlet for my imagination /boredom /escapism like write a book, but too lazy!

R19, did you not even make it to the third fucking post, you idiot?

I just want to smoke weed and rim hot guys all day long. What terrible breath I’d have though.

I did not, in fact, have sufficient.

Is this the new underwhelming thread?

I EAT my own ear 👂 wax

Yes. Mare has the lesbian (?) daughter in the band. And the grandson is by a dead son.

My boss had me fix his son’s laptop. I found a folder of sex tapes. Made a copy for myself

I’ve never swallowed another guy’s semen.

I’ve never licked another guy’s ass.

I never licked another guy’s ass.

R38 - welcome to the world of a lot of tops.

I’m starting to regret ALL of this.

Now that he is dead I can let it be known! I would go into the bathroom and smell my "Roommates" Underwear Then masturbate. My fear is that if there is such a thing as a life review he's getting a 4k viewing of my deep hits.

r37, details please.

Angry at a neighbor, I went to the pet store, bought a bag of cockroaches, emptied all of them into an old vinyl album cover then slipped the whole thing under her apartment door when she wasn’t home.

I love my husband and would never cheat on him, never even close to it. I do however look surreptitiously at all kinds of guys, and as I get older I find I’m attracted to all sorts of weird quirks, not classically beautiful, etc, I feel like an old pervert sometimes.

Today I went for a LASIK exam and when reception gave me an iPad, the guy on the intro video had such a great ass and crotch it was thoroughly distracting and I had to watch it twice for the important information.

You’re a pisser, r46.

[quote] My boss had me fix his son’s laptop. I found a folder of sex tapes. Made a copy for myself

And for the Datalounge I would hope!

When I was10 years old twice I saw a vision on the wall of my room of four hairy naked men standing side-by-side before I had seen naked men in real life.

I used to stay up all night to see it again but never did other than two times.

I’m very envious of friends who have had an easier path through life than me. I really wish I occasionally had the gumption to tell a few privileged, entitled, monied assholes that they should just stop moaning about trivia, but I like them too much to do that.

I know this is weird and most will think it's bullshit, but did anyone else seen anything like this when they were a kid? R49

Part of me resents my parents for not making enough money to have a safety net as I start off life. I’ve pulled myself up to a respectable career but I’ve not-been worried about money. And I hate my friends who have their parents to turn to if life knocks them down. I have me.

I’m a compulsive eater, and I think it might kill me soon.

R45 MARY!

I hear ya, r53.

R53 why do you say that?

Circa 1985 my dad gave me $300 to buy a VCR for my bedroom. I used the money to have an abortion.

R11 = Rachel Dolezal after one trip to Sri Lanka

I don’t have any friends I trust to tell my secrets.

I wash my diarrhea rag in the kitchen sink.

I gained 41 lbs during the pandemic

I toss my shitty adult diapers in the kitchen waste basket.

You might not’ve told no one r61, but can’t people see the weight?

Sprinkle a packet of Sasson on the chicken thighs. It smells like taco seasoning, but the taste in chicken is quite different. This makes it sweet in a way that's perfect for meat. You can use Sasson and Adobo on all different meats. There are also salt free options as well.

R64) is this a family recipe secret?

I’ve never told anyone IRL that I’m a recovering alcoholic.

Certain friends and family knew I drank too much, but I hid the extent of my drinking problem from everybody.

R56, because I have put on a lot of weight through lockdown, and for the first time in my life I don’t seem to be able to moderate my eating to be able to at least reduce my weight to a comfortable level.

Since Christmas, I’ve been eating in a way which has very little to do with hunger, and each diet I embark upon ends within a few days.

For the first time in my life, I feel breathless when I exert myself. Everything hurts and I’m tired. I’m really aware that my fitness level has plummeted.

It such a ridiculous problem. I’ve never been thin, but I’ve never been like this either.

R67 my daily diet is embarrassingly bad, but the best thing I did this past year was bought a cardio bike, instead of a gym membership. I would be at least twenty pounds heavier without it. If you get in the habit of doing thirty minutes on a regular basis, you can eat whatever you want, and probably won't have such unfulfilled cravings.

Also, I always think guys look better in the before picture with an extra 30-50 pounds

[quote]Sasson

Sazón, dear.

I recorded myself a few times fingering my hole or using a dildo and uploaded them online. You couldn't see my face and the shots were pretty tight so that you couldn't tell where or who I was, but they all got deleted in the XTube purge anyway. A part of me was relieved, especially since I'm married and my husband doesn't know.

Interesting r70. I’ve always thought about doing that, but I’m too chicken. What kind of comments did you get?

[quote] How do you fuck a pan?

With Jesus juice!

R53, r57, are you fit-fat? or FAT-fat?

[reply 49] I had a vision like that! I was in ceramics class and my teacher was a guy named Randy, He was blowing the dust off one of the clay pieces, and low and behold before my eyes a vision of me taking his cock out of his jeans and jerking him off appeared right before my eyes. I was 13 yrs old.

In college, I used to give $20 blow jobs to guys in the XXX video arcades.

[reply 49] I had a vision like that. I was in ceramics class and my instructor Randy was blowing the dust off a clay piece and right before my eyes a vision of me taking his cock out and jerking him off appeared before my eyes. I was thirteen and didn't even know what jacking someone off meant.

I blew a guy in a car while his baby daughter was fast asleep in a car seat in the back.

[quote] Now that he is dead I can let it be known! I would go into the bathroom and smell my "Roommates" Underwear Then masturbate. My fear is that if there is such a thing as a life review he's getting a 4k viewing of my deep hits.

LOL, that made me think of Albert Brooks’ ‘Defending Your Life’. I don’t think you’re moving on, r43.

[quote] I’m trans Asian.

From what country in Asia?

R51, over 20 years ago in a late 90’s drug haze after partying all weekend I saw a clock. It was strange, bright and cartoon-like, but very clear and sharp. There was an urgency attached to the vision.

About a year later I was at work and a coworker had affixed a photo of her daughter on the counter and what startled me was- right behind her in the picture was the same clock. I was on the fence about moving to NYC and think it was a sign.

I moved in late June and the towers fell in September. If I hadn’t moved then, there’s no way I would’ve left Boston after 9/11.

I also saw how cars work 50 years from now using wind and kinetic (wind up) energy, a pulley system similar to a ski lift and extremely lightweight materials. Batteries turn out to be an abysmal failure. I saw them just as clear as the clock.

One of my favorite hobbies in the 1990s was teaching autistic children to use profanity.

I once ghost wrote a friend's college term paper (I had already graduated) and was paid in coke and Adderall.

I'm so tired of the victomhood mentality that has crept up everywhere. It's hard to feel sad for someone who had to overcome something when it seems everyone has a tale of woe.

I don't believe in reparation payments either. It was absolutely horrible how slaves were treated. But throwing money at people many generations later isn't the answer.

I gave a former U.S. President a golden shower after drinking a pint of vodka and a gallon of water.

[quote]I'm so tired of the victimhood mentality that has crept up everywhere.

I agree with you 1000%. I find this mentality all over Twitter. Not only are people utterly self-involved, but they need to advertise every physical or (more frequently) mental malady with which they are afflicted. And it's rarely in a positive light. "I am exhausted just from going to the grocery." "Why can't I finish projects on time?? Must be my ADHD!" "I made three comments in a Zoom meeting which involved a lot of mental energy ... and so I deserved to leave early." These are all real tweets (paraphrased) I've seen lately.

I almost think that the internet has made factitious-esque disorders more prevalent. Well, maybe that's not completely correct -- I DO think many of these people suffer from mental illnesses of one form or another. But it's the near-constant quest for sympathy that aligns them with factitious patients. They crave care and compassion and attention, and by emphasizing on social media how difficult their lives are, they receive a continuous supply. And THAT, to me, is the real pathology.

In this social media universe, nobility seems not to flow from overcoming adversity, but in remaining mired in it, in nursing small slights, in savoring mental pain, in remaining locked up inside oneself within a strange solipsistic universe. It is all very distasteful and off-putting to me.

[quote] Twitter

That's a you problem. Curate your feed better.

When I’m bored I like to shove my fingers up my asshole them pull em out and smell em.

[quote] You might not’ve told no one

Oh, dear x2!

[quote] I recorded myself a few times fingering my hole or using a dildo and uploaded them online. You couldn't see my face and the shots were pretty tight

Unlike dat booty!

R77, that's fuckin hot!!

R90 Is it?

I shot the sheriff.

But did you shoot the deputy, R92?

R93 Ran out of bullets unfortunately.

I think the penis is the least appealing part of a man’s body

r82 I once ghost wrote a friend's college term paper and I was paid in 2 cartons of cigs and two BIG bottles of Absolut vodka. My friend got an A. He and I never told anyone that I wrote his paper.

Good thing not all men have penises, R95.

Good thing not all men have penises, [R95].

I anonymously alerted the parents of a former friend that he was a hooker. Last I heard they were still estranged.

I called the wife of a married guy I was seeing and told her he gave me an std. Wich was in fact true come to find out 2 weeks later,but I really did it because he took up with some other twink and quit giving me that amazing dick.

R100 Petty as hell. I love it.

I wish him no ill but as long as I can know my son is doing fine in life I would be fine not having contact with him.

It's one part I have a life long difficulty in maintaining relationships because they wind up seeming like an obligation /burden after 10 years or so and one part, I don't really like him as an adult. I love him but I don't really like or enjoy him.

I am a famous person who reads Datalounge and posts occasionally. Once I commented on a post about myself but only once and it was to correct something that was inaccurate. When I see myself discussed on DL, I never participate. I have responded to comments about other people I know with some very insider dish and have been told I was deluded.

R102 did you write this using Mad Libs?

no, it's just literally my darkest secret and I struggled with how to word it and both be honest and not look like Casey Anthony

r103=Zachary Quinto

R103, have we seen your penis?

Ive long maintained Rescue Chick that just because we share the same dna with people doesnt automatically obligate us to like them. I cant stand 95% of my family. I cant even say I love them either.

thanks r108. I definitely don't understand the concept of family but I understand that people expect mothers to like, live for their kids their entire lives and just adore them.

[R53], if you can, eat vegetables first. Find something you don’t even have to cook. (My go-to is a carrot and hummus). You may still want to gorge but you’ll be full sooner and you’ll be getting some nutrients.

I look at every penis I possibly can including my father's.

I was working at a party in LA and ended up in the men's room next to a hot male celebrity at the urinals. I didn't peek because I was afraid of being fired.

R111 and? Does daddy have a nice one?

R112, have we taught you nothing?!

R103 is Frankie Grande. Not really famous, actually delusional.

R114 trust me I still regret it. Under any other circumstances I would've. But I was hired by the person who is in responsible for almost half of my annual income. I couldn't take the risk of him flipping out and me burning that bridge.

This thread has morphed into a weird circle jerk fantasy

Sometimes I feel like the only person in LA without upper middle class parents to cover me and I hate my friends for it.

r106 NO not Quinto

r107, You may have seen my cock. I've been completely naked 3 times on screen. Once the contract stipulated that the camera frame would not show my dick but the top of what they called my "pubic ridge" LOL, the director talked me into taking off the modesty belt and because it was the only shot of the day for me, I had a few tokes and was feeling myself and I did it. I have a decent cock but it was a longshot and it made my dick look smaller than it is and for that reason I regret it. I've show my ass 3 times and one is a side shot in silhouette where my dick looks nice but you have to look really fast

r115. NO

although r115, some people do think I am delusional ;)

R103 are you out ?

r103 what is your age range? 20s, 30s, etc.?

r103 while you're here why don't you just go ahead and dish just for the hell of it?

R112. For urinal cock-viewing, you must learn to stare (fairly) straight ahead while casting your eyes to the side until they are ready to bulge out of your head. Look down at your own dick, then glance to the side for a look at his cock.

Helpful Hint: when pissing at a urinal, if possible you must stand to the left of the guy whose dick you want to see. Most people are right-handed which means they usually piss holding their cock with their right hand, thus often leaving the left side free to catch a peek of the cock.

Now come back to us when you have succeeded.

R124, now everything else will be a let down. I will punish you with nothingness.

I have met four celebrities in AA. They over-shared first step type shit right off the bat, instead of just general step stuff. None of these people were native to Chicago, so it was surprising to see them in our shit hole. And, of course, it was more of a surprise if they attended more than one meeting. As of 2021, three have publicly repeated their bullshit (some sanitized and some dramatized). The one person who says nothing is the most boring person you would ever meet and their story is equally boring. Yet, I wait.

So, I can’t talk about their addiction (none are out) and I can’t talk about their freakiness because I heard it in a meeting.

[quote] don’t seem to be able to moderate my eating

Are you okay, honey? This is like the fifth or sixth thread I've read this in

I wrote a family member's undergrad science theses in a couple of days. He got first class honors.

Lazy fucking cunt.

I would rather have died than have had to see her scarf down another forbidden slice of pineapple.

[quote]Eating breast meat is like eating a dry white sponge.

Not if it's bone-in.

Bone in.

Tee hee.

[quote] I wrote a family member's undergrad science theses in a couple of days.

How many did he have?

[quote] He got first class honors.

Uh huh.

R125 I’m too chicken shit to ever try this, but thanks for the helpful advice.

I can’t evacuate myself completely, ever.

OP types fat

I use chopsticks to pleasure my Chinese coin clot