I was eating spaghetti and suddenly my lover shoved his gigantic cock in my tight hole with no lube

I was eating roasted cock and suddenly my lover inserted his spaghetti-thin willy in my hole, so he didn't need any lube.

Did you get your Sunday "gravy" all over his dick?

Is it drained?

The inane thread troll is nothing if not indefatigable.

Mamma Mia!

My grandson is a feygola!

Surprise penne!

Obligatory: Pics or it didn’t happen.

That’s a spicy meata balls!

I'm not hungry. I'll just pick.

Omg I would just die

Unfortunately, it happened at my big family dinner

Loses all believability at “tight” hole.

The Wit and Wisdom of OP, Middle School Twatlet and General Asshole:

He broke up with me over a 5 word text I'm currently in on my way to his house to force him to give me the explanation I deserve

What's your predominant role on Datalounge? Sexy young bottom

Brooklyn Beckham or Rocco Ritchie Who would you rather fuck?

I just ate a salad for the first time Never doing that again 🤢

Items you use everyday that you've had for a very long time I've been using the same dildo since 2013, odes that count?

my sugar daddy dumped me just bc i farted in his bed i don't understand what the big deal?

I was thrown out of this guys house in the RAIN AND FREEZING COLD for NO REASON I had a few drinks and was ready to do whatever he wanted but instead he got all upset just because I broke his stupid dumb sculpture (tacky and not worth the money), ate his cats food and vomited on his white couch, I don't know what the big deal is? I really hate how dramatic people are these days. And what kind of freak buys a white couch anyway? this man was a psychopath I swear.

what are some websites where i can call a celeb fat and ugly without getting in trouble? certainly not datalounge.com

why do women buy purses when they can jus keep their stuff in a free plastic bag from the grocery store? makes no sense

how much would you pay for this ass? ????

how much would you pay for this ass? I'd pay $100

how much would you pay for this ass? what's with people saying they don't pay for ass? paying for DICK is weird af

how much would you pay for this ass? It's not fair that tops get paid more for sex, like they don't already have EVERYTHING. 🙄

I will NEVER have sex for free It doesn't always have to be money but you must give me SOMETHING in exchange or you can get the FUCK away from me you worthless bum!

does your lover have a nickname for u? my spanish lover calls me pequeño agujero it means little hole 🥰

Madonna inducing the world to barf with new pictures Disgusting that she would post these online for her grandchildren to see, what kind of person is she?

Madonna inducing the world to barf with new pictures She looks better than Lourdes

have u ever been fucked so good u couldn't sit for days? i have 😍

STOP PUTTING VEGETABLE ON BURGER NASTY

STOP PUTTING VEGETABLE ON BURGER I HATE LETTUCE I HATE TOMATO I HATE ONION

You can only be attractive if you were born between 1992-2001 This is a fact rather you like it or not

You can only be attractive if you were born between 1992-2001 men who wear rings are sexy

French Press or Coffee Maker? instant coffee

how to fix too big shoes? is there a way to shrink?

Have you ever tried cock? looks disgusting!

Taylor Swift is the Mozart of the 21st century she will be known as one of the greatest musicians to have ever lived

sandwich is better w only condiments inside i'm eatin sandwich with just bread and mayo and bbq sauce this is delicious maybe the best meal i ever had

My next door neighbor is annoying OP keeps mentioning her height for no reason, jealousy?

Maybe his lover is turned on by his DL thread creativity and productivity

But really, why don't women just keep the $12,000 that a Birkin bag would cost and put their stuff in a plastic bag or at least a cheap purse?

Maybe your grandma's Marinara sauce is an aphrodisiac?

Is this the latest incarnation of Momma's Mussy?

Do you mind if I ask...

do you use cinnamon in your spaghetti sauce?

R5, fegulah is Yiddish, so that would be more appropriate if OP had been eating kugel when the aforementioned cock was supposedly shoved up the allegedly tight hole. His bubbie would have said it.

OP, this is what happens when you eat over the sink. Put your clothes on, and eat at the table like a person!

But you were wearing your short Caftan, weren't you, OP?

I think it has something to do with how you slurp your noodles

How many years was your lover in prison, OP?

How can one have a tight hole when they eat as much as the OP?

Is this a daily problem? If so, order Thai next time.

Jesus, Mary and Joseph.

The bitch needs to find a life, per haps volunteering in an old folks home (Assuming he’s not already housed in one.).

A fella would give his right arm rather than hurt his sweetheart. Tell him in no uncertain terms to lube thay tube- but wait til AFTER dessert!

Antigay trolling.

On a gay message board!

I admit it-- I chuckled at that list of OP's thread titles. He really has a way with words.

Your nonna should be calling you a finocchio, not a feigeleh.

Is he Chef Boiar-D?

And I choked on my spaghetti but my lover's fucking worked just like the Heimlich maneuver and I coughed it out.

Do you drain and did he drain?

You're lying OP. It was fettuccine Alfredo

This thread is useless without ... the spaghetti recipe! And was the pasta drained or scooped out of the pot with a scoop strainer?

You’re a whore darling, and you slice your garlic waaaay too thick.

I'm picturing the guy eating.. or who had eaten spaghetti in Se7en again.

[quote] I'm picturing the guy eating.. or who had eaten spaghetti in Se7en again.

[quote] Gluttony is a sin, OP, but at least you won't get fucked with the spike strap-on

Unless you're 14.

You spun your head around too quick to catch the climax of the porn you turned your back to in order to taste the spaghetti you had just finished cooking, and one of the noodles slipped out of your mouth, over your shoulder, down your back, and straight into your asscrack.

That a noodle felt like a “gigantic cock” is understandable, considering [italic]how long it’s been[/italic] for you. The lover bit is partly a symptom of your delusion, partly just fantasy.

I hope you wiped when you were done.

Is this the proposed sequel to the infamous "right in front of my SALAD!!!" gay porn scene from a few years ago?

I have a feeling your spaghetti was straight out of a can of Chef Bogardee.

It was in the middle of a mukbang!

I’m shocked OP. And then what happened?