What's the best advice you were ever given?

Pray for the dead and fight like hell for the living.

A self-made billionaire once told me, “Live in the most expensive house you can afford to live in and drive the cheapest car you can afford to drive.”

No, not Buffett

[quote] A self-made billionaire once told me, “Live in the most expensive house you can afford to live in and drive the cheapest car you can afford to drive.”

Good advice, but some people think that if they can get the mortgage loan, they can "afford" the house.

Never tell the world your troubles, half don't care and the other half are glad you have them

My boss at my very first job when I was a teenager. She told me what she told each new hire: I didn't have to love my coworkers, but I had to at least be civil with them. If I couldn't manage that, I'd be let go.

When I eventually began hiring people, I told them the same thing: get along or goodbye.

Always in moderation might be the worst advice you can give someone. Would you tell a smack addict, just shoot up in moderation? Would you tell a rapist, just rape in moderation? Would you tell a pathological liar, just lie in moderation.

Worst advice. Ever.

Treat people the way that you want to be treated.

Obviously.

It's weird how so many people find this difficult to do.

Don’t be be someone who needs to be dealt with. Don’t be noticed for the wrong things.

Was Du tust, tue gleich.

From my German grandmother. Means "what you do, do right away." In other words, don't put things off or procrastinate.

Neither a borrower nor a lender be.

Do not forget. Stay out of debt.

Think twice, and take this good advice from me. Guard that old solvency!

There's just one other thing you ought to do. To thine own self be true!

-Skipper, from Gilligan's Island

Some people just aren't going to like you and there are going to be some people you don't like and it doesn't mean there's anything wrong with either of you - you just don't see the world the same way. We're not on the same journey, so just be as civil as you can be to one another and try not to get in each other's way.

That's funny - my Grandmother used to say (roughly translated from Italian) - Everything in moderation, including moderation

Sometimes you have to quit. That's a hard one for me to remember after years of "winners never quit" mentality being shoved at me. The tricky part is deciding when it's not "lazy" and is really the best action.

Do it. You will (most likely) never see any of these people again.

[quote] Sometimes you have to quit. That's a hard one for me to remember after years of "winners never quit" mentality being shoved at me.

That’s exactly why I never quit drinking.

R6 = Literal Lucy

Don’t explain.

Friends don’t expect it and enemies won’t believe it anyway.

"Do not cast pearls before swine."

It applies to many situations.

"You wouldn't worry about what other people thought of you if you realized how rarely they do."

Eat shit and die, trash.

[quote] Don’t explain.

Similar to "Don't make excuses."

It's so true. People will always call bullshit on you any way.

R18, what exactly does that mean?

If you don't watch your figure...nobody else will.

Be true to your teeth, or they'll be false to you.

A moment on the lips -- a lifetime on the hips.

Life is a banquet, and most poor suckers are starving to death!

if you don't care about anyone else, nobody will care about you.

Take care of the little things, and the big things will take care of themselves.

In 30 days, it won’t matter.

Don’t fall in love outside your area code.

Both courtesy of mom.

I don't understand half of this "advice," especially R18 and R27.

Never give advice. Wise men don't need it and fools won't heed it.

What's not to understand about r18, r29?

Don't waste precious things (the best parts of yourself, your time, your effort) on people who won't appreciate it. Very good advice.

Best advice I ever got from my first boss in PR in Hollywood. 'These people are not your friends." He taught me that no matter how nice they are to you they will fuck you over in a heartbeat. He also taught me who were the people in power to make sure they were your friends so when the shit hit the fan you were protected.

For example. I had a producer on a network show who wanted me fired because he did an interview and the magazine kjilled it because it was boring. He called me in his office and screamed at me for an hour about how I should have prepped him better and how I didn't have the shows best interest at heart. I left his office and went down to the EP/Showrunner. Asked if I could talk to him and he said sure. I sat down told him what happened. He said "well I am happy with how you take care of the show so fuck him and if he brings it up I will squash it." And he did.

[quote] Best advice I ever got from my first boss in PR in Hollywood. 'These people are not your friends." He taught me that no matter how nice they are to you they will fuck you over in a heartbeat

Nice. So I guess it was true, huh?

When he said "these people," was he talking about actors/actresses or the studio execs?

Don’t socialize with your coworkers more than the amount required to network. Don’t confide in them or “befriend” them. For gods sake, don’t fuck them.

Oops.

totally agree r34. i currently only have 1 co-worker friended on FB and actively choose not to be social network friends with anyone at work unless i realllllly like them.

that said, i have also fucked my boss at a past job and had an LTR with him, but that was 16 years ago and there were never complications; we reported it to HR and i was transferred to reporting to someone else.

One day you’ll be able to afford to get that shift key fixed.

Have faith, you’ll do it!

I have written this here on DL before, but here I go again.

I was in my last year of my undergrad degree, which was a big deal to me because, due to acquiring a serious drug & alcohol problem (and subsequently getting clean), I only started college at 30. I was talking to a very wise old woman at an AA meeting (who was the same age I am now) about wanting to go on to grad school, but not knowing if it would be a good move for me because of my age. She told me, "If you want to do something, you should do it -- because when you get older, you don't want so much." And now that I am her age, I understand that completely.

Best advice I ever had.

Don't believe them when they tell you they won't come in your mouth.

r37 i have no use for capitalization on a message board. i streamline where and when i can. however, punctuation is a must.

So annoying to read. If you can hit a comma, you can hit a cap.

Ever had cum in your eye, Gabriel?

It BURRRRRRRRNNSSS!

Two of my favorite sayings deal with birds:

Don’t count your chickens before they hatch; A bird in the hand is worth two in the bush.

Ok, thanks for letting me know.

Now I know who to block since I despise people whose attitude is “rules don’t apply to me,” and “I’m too special to conform to conventional norms.”

I appreciate this advice more each passing year: It's the journey, not the destination.

Me: overwhelmed.

My therapist: Keep it small.

someone would block a poster because they don't use caps? wow. petty.

Are you new here?

"choose your battles."

[quote] My therapist: Keep it small.

Tell him you were born that way.

It's not what comes out of your mouth, but what goes in

Avoid debt as much as possible.

Also any monthly recurring payments when you can whatever the source.

R52 is old

People who gossip about others to you, are gossiping about you to them.

r37 Do You Go Through Every Thread Checking Capitalization And Reporting Felons?

You know who is doing you know what (anal).

Life may be a bed of roses, but you have to watch out for the pricks.

r53 -- R U in debt up to your eyeballs?

Best advice?

If you don't like a thread, just SCROLL ON BY!

The way I learned it: Do everything in moderation, but be sure to do everything.

Not to look further than my own backyard if I go looking for my heart's desire.

r33 actors and actresses. Every new publcist I have seen since I started gets fooled and star struck. I impart the same wisdom. They will shit on you first chance they get. I can count on my hands how many "actors" I count as friends and there are exactly two. Neither one is famous famous.

You will never impress anyone by how much you cuss.

[quote]My grandmother always used to say "Always in moderation."

Actually what she said was, "always lubrication"

She loved big cocks...

My grandmother's advice was, "Everything in moderation. Including moderation."

BEST advice to live by. Because sometimes moderation is not the route to success, pleasure, fulfillment, achievement or happiness.

Just usually.

Stay away from doctors and lawyers

From my Mother. Don't make a big deal about your birthday. Don't talk about it, don't celebrate it, just treat it like another day and always keep your age vague, but don't shave any more than 3 years off.

Don’t smoke grass and forget to eat my ass.

[quote] I was in my last year of my undergrad degree[.] ... [D]ue to acquiring a serious drug & alcohol problem [], I only started college at 30. I was talking to a very wise old woman at an AA meeting ... about wanting to go on to grad school [at] my age. She told me, "If you want to do something, you should do it -- because when you get older, you don't want so much."

Seems like this advice could have applied to choosing not to go to grad school as well. I.e., if you wait long enough, the desire passes.

Take early advantage of compound interest and have peace of mind when you retire.

Avoid size queens and men with small dicks.

r70 omg this. There are some really smart people who are maxing out their 401ks, to the point they are making so much post-tax that they pay almost zero taxes and grow their savings so fast.

R51 She’s funny. Thx for posting

Keep your legs closed to married men

If it is too big and you can't take it, don't take it.

My mother: Just do the right thing.

[quote] Eat shit and die, trash.

R20 best advice ever

Don’t discuss religion, politics, or money.

Travel while you're young.

True because I don't have the energy I used to, also now I own a home so don't have as much spending money for trips.

Don’t feed the plants

Never but never face facts.

You don't want your ass to smell bad on a date. Don't throw rocks at glasshouses.

Spare the garrotte and spoil the child.

Buckle up for safety

Forgive, but don't forget.

Always travel light.

When life hands you lemons, figure out how to make lemonade.

A thing worth doing is worth doing well

Always assume that a loan to a friend or a relative is likely to end up being a gift, and plan accordingly - because people will screw over a relative long before they'll screw over a stranger.

When I was a kid, I read one of the Little House books in which Caroline Ingalls wrote this (or something like this) in Laura's autograph book:

"If wisdom's ways you wisely seek, five things observe with care: to whom you speak, of whom you speak, and how, and when, and where.”

It's been very helpful advice.

[quote]Best advice I ever got from my first boss in PR in Hollywood. 'These people are not your friends." He taught me that no matter how nice they are to you they will fuck you over in a heartbeat. He also taught me who were the people in power to make sure they were your friends so when the shit hit the fan you were protected.

He contracted himself. He first said “these people are not your friends” and then says make sure the people in power are your friends. So which is it? Be friends or not?

“No” is a complete sentence.

You're more important than the Queen of England

If you don't have the time to do something right the first time, how are you going to find the time to fix it when it goes wrong?

The poison is in the dose.

R40 Your time is so precious. And that whiff of rebellion...

Pull that foreskin back and wash underneath it.

Grandma sounds like a lot of fun. :/

Never explain. Never complain.

Don't tell the world what you're going to do, show it what you've done.

[quote] He contracted himself.

Uh....

When I moved to WeHo and came out by gay bff gave me the best advice. Douche before every date or going out. You don't have to get ready if you stay ready.

Never give a sucker an even break.

Well, to be fair, sometimes they do have to catch their breath.

[quote] Travel while you're young.

I agree, and I got this from, of all people, Richard Nixon, who wrote it in his book IN THE ARENA.

I had a dear friend, about 20 years older than I who, when I would take a trip, would say wistfully things like "Shanghai? I've always wanted to visit Shanghai. Well, someday..."

Of course 'someday' never came, and he died recently never having taken any of those trips.

Sometimes the best way to double your money is to fold it and put it back in your pocket.

Long term advice given a long time ago about investing from a former Under Secretary of State for Economic Affairs: never bet against the United States of America.

So far, so good...

I have an elderly friend who never earned much money but managed to inherit 3 different estates from non family members. He advised me to always be nice to other people.

Frankly, I can remember only bad advice. Like, don't travel (my mother). Like, don't become a history teacher (my Guidance Counselor. I listened to her, regretfully. I still love reading histories, a half-century later.). Like, don't marry my husband (my mother. We lasted more than 40 years, until his death.)

Now, of course I can think of good advice in general, or from self-discovery, but given to me?

None.

R2, There are no "self-made" billionaires. At least, none who weren't massively aided by our favorable tax laws, banking and loan regulations, etc.

Remember, alway “fuck up”

R55, Your query isn't to me, but I will say this: An uncapitalized "i" is extremely annoying in its pretentiousness.

And don't try playing the e.e. cummings card, because you ain't.

That life can’t be encapsulated in a simplistic pithy saying.

I don't ever remember being given any advice that was good. If I got any I probably never listened to it.

I actually listened to others when I joined AA:

- Whenever anyone runs away from you, get down on your knees and thank God for it.

- 30% of the people you meet are going to like you. Another 30% are not going to like you. And 40% aren’t going to give a shit.

If you see someone crying ask if it’s because they’re ugly.

OMFG.

😂😂

Some questions don't have answers.

Only you can ever know why you like spaghetti

Nearly all men can stand adversity, but if you want to test a man’s character, give him power.

That's not advice that someone gave me, but it is something that I noticed to be true.

[quote] Don't believe them when they tell you they won't come in your mouth.

My response (breaking for the quickest of moments): "Oh, please do! Go right ahead."

You can never have enough hats, gloves and shoes

Don’t rinse your pasta!

Don't eat the yellow snow.

Measure your doses

What you measure, you manage.

Never trust a Trojan.

Never let them give you a nickname at work. You won't be taken seriously after.

The likelihood of a man having an STD corresponds to the number of tattoos he has.

Measure twice, cut once.

Two more from early AA:

- You’re only as sick as your secrets.

- Be good to yourself.

Never make someone a priority who only views you as an option.

Saved me a LOT of heartache.

Never wrestle with pigs. You both get dirty and the pig likes it.

George Bernard Shaw

Sleep juicy

Change the things you can and accept the things you cannot and be smart enough to know the difference.

Fuck bitches, get money.

Fuck ‘em if they can’t take a joke.

If they’re attractive, fuck ‘em even if they can.

Assholes are never not assholes. Anyone can change - that part is easy. The hard part is not changing back.

Spurious advice from James Hilton, Lost Horizon.

“Stop binge eating on pizza, fatty.”

A person has to like you if he's going to help you.

We have to fight against becoming our lesser selves as we age. Our flaws rise to the surface.

^That is really very true. The bad qualities of many people I've considered to be friends for decades have finally overpowered them and made them unbearable to me. Fortunately, I have reached a point at which I pretty much don't give a damn about human company, so it's working out just fine.

The world is not logical. The world is magical.

Sharing pain halves the pain. Sharing joy doubles the joy.

Try saying “Yes” to life.

Every person in your life has been there because you allowed them to be.

"Fat people should not wear white, it just makes you look fatter."

Never get involved in the problems of a couple.

"Follow the money" Sure as all hell it describes modern politics to a great degree. Dark Money anyone - I'm sorry but if you do even a rudimentary audit you find out where the money came from.

Plastics

Don't fuck with cats

Eat shit n die trash

[bold]"A stitch in time saves nine". [/bold]

My grandmother used this saying all the time and it is excellent advice.

r55 here me so smarrt

Do you want to be rich? ACT POOR

Do you want to be poor?

ACT RICH

Many years ago, my Aunt told me that there are two things you never lend to anyone ...... Your money and your car.

NEVER trust a Trojan!

Get in the first lifeboat you can. Don’t delay.

‘Maybe’ is a worse ‘no’.

Always take photos and obtain signed paperwork.

Blood is not thicker than water; actually, it’s made up mostly of plasmatic hot water itself.

If they haven’t got back to you inside of 48-72 hours with a plausible fair reason why, they are not a mate or an ally, and at best they are benching you.

It is better to be liked than to be right.

Being right will get you resented.

Being liked will get you promoted.

Be best!

no good deed goes unpunished.

Never interfere in any fight or argument etc...you will get shot, injured or die.

Loneliness is a high price to pay for independence.

Bend and snap!

Audio record every interaction with public servants and repeat their first and last names while you speak to them.

When people show you who they are, believe them.

It's terribly overused and kind of Oprah adjacent, but it really is true that people often reveal to us over & over again who they are, yet we refuse to accept this reality

Rosemary Kennedy in a fit of inspiration once said to me, "I'd much rather have a full bottle in front of me than have a full frontal lobotomy," and she was 100% right.

R164 “we take it off, Rosie.”

Never go up against a Sicilian when death is on the line.

After I noticed one of my Aunts-who I adored-had a bad habit of repeating things just for the sake of good gossip-no matter who it hurt, my Mom told me these three rules to live by when you're not sure if it's something you should or shouldn't repeat

1. Is it True

2. Is it Necessary

3. Is it kind

Very little gossip gets past that 3rd rule.

Don’t be surprised that in this world are many lowlifes who think highly of themselves and lessers who want more.

Fuck bitches; get money.

When you're riding in a time machine way far into the future, don't stick your elbow out the window, or it'll turn into a fossil.