Let’s be the gays bringing down the Roman Empire

I'm drag queen Julia Seize Her.

I'm piggy bottom Cloaca Maxima

I am M. Licinius Crassus, and my taste includes both oysters and snails!

I’m Layneous Bryantus and I’ve dressed every senator’s wife in culottes!

I'm Brianus Springerus, deflowerer of boys.

I'm Melanius Knausius - I get fucked by horses during the half time show.

I’m Prius Maximus; I move slowly through the streets angering throngs of people to commit murderous acts.

I am Rolofius the Villa Flipper. I have done thirty homes in the Seven Hills area.

R2 = the scat troll

I'm Datus Loungitus, a disreputable bar, frequented by Pathicuses and and African slaves.

I’m Rickus Dickus Snyderian and I’m the reason we’re drinking lead!

I'm Shirley MacLaine.

I’m Incontinentia Buttocks.

I am Coconuttius the young bodybuilder. I will do the towel dance as I change into my toga and am late to my naked posing at the colosseum naked day festivities. My address is carved on most public bathroom sponge stick vessels.

I’m Anna Rexia, I run the local vomitorium where much of the backroom mechanism to end the empire are carried out.

I thought we did in the Greek Empire, not the Roman one.

I’m freeing most of my slaves to go fight with the barbarians. Rome has become so decadent with all sorts of older men preying on younger men. Fortunately, my only remaining slave, Joel, has a good master such as I.

I’m one of the Goths taking full advantage of these defeated decadent Romans at OP. Can’t wait to remodel their palaces with animal bones, stab their officials, and violate all their delectable strapping dusky me—I mean, women.

After a celebratory romp with my darling elder brother, that is.

I'm Messylena, tranny tramp who got her head cut off, but not the one above her shoulders.

I'm a gay rich bastard, who had the tax collector beaten by my footmen when he came to demand I perform my civic duty! He'll go and seize some small farm or small business, and sell the owner and his family into slavery to make his quota, because there's no way anyone can make me pay my taxes or impose any legal penalty on me. Because of me and my peers, the middle class is being destroyed, and Roman society is entirely made up of the oligarch class and the slave/poor class. Just like yours today!

In this, I am no different than my straight peers.

I'm Catullus, bitches

Pedicabo ego vos et irrumabo

I’m a spelt queen - there’s just a big something about Archaemenian cage meat that has Mater’s mussy snapping like a crocodile!

I'm Emperor Cockagobalus.

You don't actually need details, do you?

I’m Trollus Phaulius. I’m at the baths every single time you are. I can last for hours in that steam room and block all the action if I choose to. I’ll go back and forth between the steam room and the showers all day and I’ll see this place go out of business before I’ll give you so much as a minute of peace.

I'm one of those diaphanous maidens clad in a white toga dancing with my long, knotted ponytail swinging around my head in circles around the appreciative Goth bros. Yul Brynner and Anne Baxter had thrown me out of their Egyptian court and so I'd headed north to find my fame, fortune and some Goth peen in Rome!

I'm the togas in this shade of green.

I'm the Roman who stayed behind for the sack of Rome... and I enjoyed every minute of it!

I'm Caecilius. I was actually an olive-oil based lube salesman who loved to purchase rough trade from "The Syrian".

I am SpartacAss.

Saw Ambrose in concert - it was him with a bunch of holla-back sluts doing call repeat ad nauseous. Gaul calves and huge feet were the only things worth remembering.

If you go: if anyone brings up religion, don’t say anything. Just touch your balls, your forehead, left nipple, and then your right nipple and you should be fine.

I'm Kevin Spacius. Hide yo' sons, hide yo' husbands