The ants are all over my bed

Stop eating doughnuts, candies, cupcakes, and potato chips in your bed.

PIG.

Diatomaceous Earth - Food grade not the pool cleaning version

Are they under your skin? Better check.

Are they calling from the upstairs phone?

Get out while you can!

Stop eating in your room and get ant traps.

They're just taking in the lay of the land of their new kingdom.

I, for one, welcome our new insect overlords!

I let them in.

Are you going through DTs?

Get an anteater.

I got ant traps. They got all he big one but the little tiny ones are unaffeced.

Do ant eaters have bubonic plague like armadillos?

Just spread your legs and enjoy.

I wish I had little fishes to eat my scar tissue.

boric acid

Terro Liquid Ant Baits. It's a little messy, put a paper towel under the bait traps. Don't be alarmed when you see a swarm..or a line of ants around the traps. It'll die down in a day or two. It works well. Have to use them every spring.

are you sure they aren't CRABS, dear?

You'll have to light your bed on fire, OP. Only way to be rid of them.

Try and get Suzanne Somers in your bed. She attracts them.

Meth-induced psychosis will only gets worse, especially for fat drug fiends.

"THE" ants? Which ants?

OP I sympathise, it’s bloody awful. Everyday I have to chase and squish a dozen black ants crawling all over my walls and my desk and my carpet. I’ve put poison down, clean and vacuum regularly, try not to have windows open often, and don’t eat in my room (though I do take black unsweetened tea in sometimes), but still they come. They’re in the bathroom every day, as well. It’s like they’re coming out of the brickwork. I’m terrified I’ll wake up one day and my mouth will be full of them.

These are all good suggestions. Which is the most effective deterrent? I need something powerful but preferably also non-toxic, so I can get some sleep. I’ve had modest success with Nippon ant poison, though it only kills nests if the workers are it back there (you’re fucked if you’ve got smart ants). Also I’ve heard spraying white vinegar on the walls and skirting, burning incense, and throwing pepper or coffee grounds around a room can be helpful, though I’ve not tried it myself yet.

Open and present hole!

Clean your hovel.

Dispose of the body.

Is this a 1950s horror film?

You shouldn’t be sleeping with your aunts.

I buy those ant baits from the store then mix them with cookie crumbles (using a toothpick to stir and mix them well ), it works better and faster than baits alone.

Bring an anteater to bed. You get a two-fer benefit 😜

Xxxx

Ants hate cinnamon oil. I place cinnamon oil inside my window sill and it worked. It kept ants from calling through the screen....but it permanently discolored the inside of the sill

I think peppermint oil is good, too. The traps at R29's post really work. I've used them.

Phyllis!

The bees are coming!

Wash you pussy!

The Brazilian official threw up lean and lanky arms and clawed the air with wildly distended fingers. "Leiningen!" he shouted. "You're insane! They're not creatures you can fight--they're an elemental--an 'act of God!' Ten miles long, two miles wide--ants, nothing but ants! And every single one of them a fiend from hell; before you can spit three times they'll eat a full-grown buffalo to the bones. I tell you if you don't clear out at once there'll he nothing left of you but a skeleton picked as clean as your own plantation."

So unbeknownst to me and without asking, my roommate went in my bedroom today and sprayed Dethlac all over my bedroom windowsill, skirting and doorframe. She says that it won’t affect us because she has all the windows in the house open, but as it’s highly neurotoxic and I’m asthmatic I somehow doubt that...

Idk what to do? Or if I can sleep in my bed tonight...? This has pissed me off so much :/

Also courtesy of the illustrious OP:

I got Pfizer vaccine . I am better than the people who get moderna , j&j and AZ ... We’re on the top of the vaccine chain

How to fake my own death? ... Due to various reasons, I need to disappear from this country. How to fake my own death ?

I farted when the fb breed me today ... He slapped my fart box and left. I douched and made sure it was clean. I don’t know why he was so upset

Expired! Expired! Expired!

Seriously, am I gonna choke and die if I use my room in the next couple days? I don’t wanna sleep on the couch but I will if I have to.