Let’s Be “The Facts Of Life Visit The Trump White House”

I love the cameo of Nancy McKeon in a suggested lez encounter with Ivanka.

We know Tootie won’t be invited.

And we all know why.

In a very special episode, Jo becomes politically involved for the first time because who she believes in Making America Great Again and Draining the Swamp. But she begins to see things in a new light when the Mexican teen (special guest star Mario Lopez) who she's been tutoring on car repair is suddenly deported. Meanwhile, Natalie opens her first checking account so she can donate to Pete Buttigieg.

The girls are aghast at Trumps gestured mocking of cousin Geri.

Tootie will make a papier-mâché bust to give to Donald, but it will get ruined on the way there and she will be devastated.

Natalie while getting patted down by security will feel something special down their for the first time.

Natalie is haranged by Trump because the school paper she writes for is fake news.

Pippa was sadly deported back to Mexico for being a bad hombre even though she's from Australia.

[quote] Tootie will make a papier-mâché bust

You’re so pretentious. Who the hell pronounces it papier-mâché?!

They better not bring cousin Geri, you know that girl will be all spastic and break something expensive.

When Trump makes a joke about his being irresistible to women, except for the "bull dykes"

Jo lifts her leg and farts in Trumps general direction...

You can cut the tension and the fart smell with a knife...

Mrs. Garrett tries to make a joke about all the tension making Jo gassy,

But the Secret Service hustles the girls out as Trump begins to rage about "ungrateful little cunts"...

I can just imagine Ivanka rubbing her pussy raw the night before being so excited to meet them.

Trump's Cousin Geri impression goes over like a lead balloon.

Donald gives each of the girls a lead balloon for the visit.

Trump will say,

"It's weird they call the colored girl "Tootie"

when it's the dykey one who farted at me.

And who let that retard girl in?"

"Bitches, just liberal Hollywood bitches!"

The fat one smells like cheese.

It would be easier and less labor intensive for Edna to take Barron to a window so he can stare at the son.

The girls perform a Holiday extravaganza for Melania’s Fucking Kreesmas party. “We need a little fucking Kreesmas right this fucking minute...”

Tootie roller skates down the long hall, into the Oval Office and cracks her skull open on the Resolute Desk.

Jo- dyke falls for Eric

Felice and Molly are somewhere weeping.

When Cinnamon (guest star Stacey Q) is invited to receive the Medal of Freedom after singing the National Anthem during the RNC, she invites the girls to the White House reception. After returning home, Natalie accidentally gives COVID to Mrs. Garrett, who dies and is replaced by her sister Beverly-Ann.

After Tootie hits her head, Trump tells her not to count on Obamacare. He only calls the ambulance when Mrs Garrett assures him that she has non-subsidized health insurance.

The girls run into Sue Ann, who is now Special Assistant to the President and Director of Media Affairs for the First Lady. Weary of Tootie's speechifying, Sue Ann explodes, proclaiming, "All lives matter, Tootie. ALL LIVES!!!" Tootie counters by calling her "Low IQ Sue." A cat fight ensues, Edna intervenes, and Melania has them escorted out.

The girls are on a collision course with wackiness when Jo hot-wires Air Force One to go on a beer run! They get pulled over by a hot cop, Blair tries to flirt her way out of trouble and winds up being charged with soliciting. Special Guest Star: Erik Estrada.

Edna's becomes head of the White House kitchen and all four girls move into the Lincoln bedroom.

Tootie discovers Melania’s nude photos and tells her, “You’re in trouuuuuuble!”

mrs hannigan will be grabbed by the pussy

^ You mean Mrs. Garrett?

Jo gets very hungry and asks Melania if she’s got anything to munch on. Melania replies, “Well, yes, but my going rate is $150.” Laughter ensues.

I’m Tootie in roller skates feeling a bit unwelcome and saying tone deaf jokes.

Mrs Garrett enjoys flirting with a sexy eligible senator but Blair and Jo are certain that he is using Mrs Garrett to get to George. (Guest starring Lindsay Graham).

The girls and Mrs. Garrett are taken hostage by a disgruntled Trump who is refusing to leave the White House. Unless his demands are met, he’ll start killing a hostage every hour on the hour. Nothing is done and no demands met.

Barron finally looses his cherry to Cousin Gerri. Don Jr. in a moment of brotherly solidarity helps him put on a condom .

Natalie tells Tiffany, “As one plain Jane to another, how do you deal with constant rejection by men? Me, I like to eat my pain away!” Cue laugh track.

In a very special episode, Tootie and Nat break through with Trump, who admits he has a deep well of insecurity because he's always had a learning disability.

He then shits in his diaper and grabs them both by the pussy. Psyche!

Cousin Jerri wanders off from the group and is quickly caged and sent back to Guatemala.

Blair gets a tour of Melania’s walk-in closet and screams, “Those are human skins, aren’t they?!!!”

Melania smugly replies, “No, only Central American children’s skins. I don’t really care, do you?”

Blair yells, “I care! Jesus cares!”

Melania morphs into a pointy-eared, devil-tailed demon and flies out the window.

The audience boos.

I see there are lot of writers from Chuck Lorre shows here tonight.

Invited to the White House Easter Masquerade, Natalie makes the inexplicable decision to dress as Charlie Chaplin, a person 99% of today's young people wouldn't recognize. As she searches for a bathroom, Barron mistakes her for Adolf Hitler and rapes her, yelling, "I RAPE YOU, HITLER!"

[quote] Barron finally looses his cherry

Oh, DEAR!

Some of the obsession on this board with Barron and his exploits are fucking sick. The kid is 14!

[quote]Some of the obsession on this board with Barron and his exploits are fucking sick. The kid is 14!

Wait till we talk about the saucy ways of Madeleine McCann!

I’d rather you did the same for Madeline Kahn.

[quote]Wait till we talk about the saucy ways of Madeleine McCann!

Denise, you were at my wedding!

George threatens to beat up the President when Blair reveals he grabbed her by the pussy.

bump

Tootie suggests that the group walk to the Capitol. Natalie ends up saving Nancy Pelosi during the insurrection by letting out a burrito-fueled fart that causes many of the MAGAs to flee for their lives.

In the kitchen, Tootie asks for a coke with no ice, causing Melania to panic and call ICE. A hilarious chase scene ensues with Tootie finally being tasered in the Rose Garden and getting hauled away to lockup. The other girls leave with some ‘Make America Great Again’ swag that they leave behind in a dumpster.