My ass itches like crazy

Scratch like a morherfucker!

wash it very well then go to a doctor to have it examined, you dirty stupid helpless twat.

What R1 said.

Scoot across the living room carpet, dear.

Cancer canker starts that way.

You'll be crapping out your tits before this is over.

Don't go diggin' in that ass. That's nasty!

I gave up excessive use of pre-moistened flushable wipes. My fart box was super irritated using those. But after laying off for a few days, we were open for business again.

Get a guy to scratch it with his dick. It works every time!👌🏼

It’s contact dermatitis on the anus

I've heard that a man inserting a large penis into your anus will take your mind of the itching for a while.

take your mind OFF

I know you are going to get a bunch of snarky answers (rightfully so), but get checked for hemorrhoids (both internal and external).

pruritus ani? i get that about twice a year.

wash thproughly and keep dry. it will still take most of a week to go. otoh, shitting will be satisfying.

[quote] I've heard that a man inserting a large penis into your anus will take your mind of the itching for a while.

Is that the sex where the man goes up into the man?

I suspect you're one of those slap-and-dash kind of wipers, eh?

A clean hole is a happy hole. I think Jesus said that.

A Dandy is buying groceries and while in the check out line, he becomes quite aroused by the good-looking bag boy. The Dandy tries to make eye contact, but the boy doesn't notice. The Dandy drops his walking stick on the floor and bends over to give him a look his tight ass, yet the boy keeps bagging groceries without noticing. So- he decides to ask him to bring the groceries to the car.

When they get out in the parking lot, the boy asks where the Dandy’s car is. He looks at the handsome bag boy, touches his broad chest and says, "You know, I have an itchy pussy... " And the bag boy sighs and says, "Sorry Sir, all those Japanese cars look the same to me."

Obviously, OP is just as victim of his device's auto correct feature as we all are. The letters TW were mistakenly omitted, and he meant to say his ass TWITCHES like crazy. Can someone help him, please?

Pour bleach on and into it, and you also get a pinkish shithole thereafter.

You have worms/parasites.

[quote]What can I do?

Most people start with Preparation H, dear.

It's Crabs Rose.

You might have an STD. Let someone fuck you BB and ask them in a week if they notice anything ’unusual’ down there.

No joke on the worms parasites. Look it up. If it gets worse at night thats a sign of them. Shower before bed and there's an OTC for it.

Does your cooter itch?

OP, you are one unoriginal heifer...

Stop bottoming and prepping so much.

Just thought I'd leave this here.

Anal warts

Go to CVS and buy a bottle of Witch Hazel. Dip three qtips in the witch hazel until they are soaked. Squat and rub the qtips up and down your ass crack thoroughly. This will give you relief.

Besides Witch Hazel go to Amazon and buy: Ichybum Anal Itching Cream (28 Grams)

OP, you've been in denial long enough.

The next time someone calls you a baboon, grin and show your canines!

Reese's Pinworm Medicine

Google it. You can order it online, discreetly.

[quote] Reese's Pinworm Medicine

I’m surprised Reese doesn’t have her own witch hazel too.

The awful truth is always boundlessly more valuable than the most well intended lie.

You needed to see this!

One theory is that having intestinal worms makes you less susceptible to Covid. And some other stuff. Primes your immune system or something.

Always look on the bright side.

Lol R34. That image is so old. I remember it being on rotten.com back in middle school (1999). I would sneak to those types of sites (including penis.com lmao) in the computer lab when no adults were around.

I'm sure that there are those among us who've never seen it until now, R36. Now, off to detention you go! Go on!

R34 As Pinworms are only 1/4 to 1/2 an inch in size I always reckoned that photo was either of a midget or faked with bean sprouts.

I think it means you're going to be fucked by a stranger. But then how would that be different from any other night?

Wear clean underwear.

Raw veggies, ie. salads, can easily result in worms.

Have you lost your gerbil lately?

They say when your ear itches it means someone is talking about you. So if your ass itches, it means someone wants to fuck you.

Scratch it you stupid fuck

You should go in this morning

You really should; if you still can?

Prep H wipes have witch hazel in them. Just get the wipes.

Have you taken an enema OP? Take a warm water enema with 2 Tbs. of baking soda in the water. If that doesn't stop your poonanny from itching you need to go to the doctor.

Eating ass is soothing.

This.

Op can u give us an update from inside the hot zone?

[quote]I gave up excessive use of pre-moistened flushable wipes. My fart box was super irritated using those. But after laying off for a few days, we were open for business again.

FLUSHABLE wipes are a con. Anything can be flushed but very little actually disintegrates in sewer systems. Anything that fits down your toilet is flushable; golf balls could be advertised as FLUSHABLE.

Please throw your 'flushable wipes' in your trash not your toilet.

Powdering your ass with corn starch helps with the itching. Also, R47 suggestion about Prep H wipes provides relief - just don't flush them down the toilet.

Depend which part of your ass you are scratching.

Around the anus an it's an internal hemorrhoid.

The ass all over and it's usually to do with the winter months when the skin is most dry Usually ass and inner thighs and especially at night when in bed. Moisturize that ass to stop your skin being too dry and stop the itch,

Give yourself a Pepsi enema, and then slide a Mento in and hold it. You'll be good as new.

Tell the homeless man to pull out??

I went through an itchy ass period a few years ago. Tried everything but nothing got rid of the itch. I ended up hooking up with a guy who loved eating ass. Problem solved. 30 mins of his wet tongue wagging through my butt was the cure.

Ewww wormy

This is very disturbing. I wish I could fix your problem with anal itch.

I get an itchy ass just about every night. I went to a doctor, who shone a light up there and tested for pinworms, but no cause was found. That's typical, apparently. I've found that an antihistamine helps a lot, though.

Sarna anti itch lotion unscented works

R11 - only on DL would someone rush to even bother to correct that phrase for fear of the "oh dear" police and only on DL do you see 61 answers to such a topic.

Try Pin-Rid.

Try baking soda paste

Try PanaCur. Some say it cures cancer as well as ridding you (and your dog) of worms. Great stuff, apparently.

"Two days after the PET scan, Joe Tippens said a veterinarian friend told him about a dog dewormer called fenbendazole that some people believe cured their cancer. It's branded as Panacur C and can be ordered online. Tippens did some research and learned the drug is considered safe for humans, with no serious side effects..."

Don't ask your bf to get down there and bite the crabs.

You pay a rent boy for that.

I use dr Judy griffiths recovery cream in my asshole