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My ass itches like crazy

What can I do?

by Anonymousreply 6701/15/2021

Scratch like a morherfucker!

by Anonymousreply 111/24/2020

wash it very well then go to a doctor to have it examined, you dirty stupid helpless twat.

by Anonymousreply 211/24/2020

What R1 said.

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by Anonymousreply 311/24/2020

Scoot across the living room carpet, dear.

by Anonymousreply 411/24/2020

Cancer canker starts that way.

You'll be crapping out your tits before this is over.

by Anonymousreply 511/24/2020

Don't go diggin' in that ass. That's nasty!

by Anonymousreply 611/24/2020

I gave up excessive use of pre-moistened flushable wipes. My fart box was super irritated using those. But after laying off for a few days, we were open for business again.

by Anonymousreply 711/24/2020

Get a guy to scratch it with his dick. It works every time!👌🏼

by Anonymousreply 811/24/2020

It’s contact dermatitis on the anus

by Anonymousreply 911/24/2020

I've heard that a man inserting a large penis into your anus will take your mind of the itching for a while.

by Anonymousreply 1011/24/2020

take your mind OFF

by Anonymousreply 1111/24/2020

I know you are going to get a bunch of snarky answers (rightfully so), but get checked for hemorrhoids (both internal and external).

by Anonymousreply 1211/24/2020

pruritus ani? i get that about twice a year.

wash thproughly and keep dry. it will still take most of a week to go. otoh, shitting will be satisfying.

by Anonymousreply 1311/24/2020

[quote] I've heard that a man inserting a large penis into your anus will take your mind of the itching for a while.

Is that the sex where the man goes up into the man?

by Anonymousreply 1411/24/2020

I suspect you're one of those slap-and-dash kind of wipers, eh?

A clean hole is a happy hole. I think Jesus said that.

by Anonymousreply 1511/24/2020

A Dandy is buying groceries and while in the check out line, he becomes quite aroused by the good-looking bag boy. The Dandy tries to make eye contact, but the boy doesn't notice. The Dandy drops his walking stick on the floor and bends over to give him a look his tight ass, yet the boy keeps bagging groceries without noticing. So- he decides to ask him to bring the groceries to the car.

When they get out in the parking lot, the boy asks where the Dandy’s car is. He looks at the handsome bag boy, touches his broad chest and says, "You know, I have an itchy pussy... " And the bag boy sighs and says, "Sorry Sir, all those Japanese cars look the same to me."

by Anonymousreply 1611/24/2020

Obviously, OP is just as victim of his device's auto correct feature as we all are. The letters TW were mistakenly omitted, and he meant to say his ass TWITCHES like crazy. Can someone help him, please?

by Anonymousreply 1711/24/2020

Pour bleach on and into it, and you also get a pinkish shithole thereafter.

by Anonymousreply 1811/24/2020

You have worms/parasites.

by Anonymousreply 1911/24/2020

[quote]What can I do?

Most people start with Preparation H, dear.

by Anonymousreply 2011/24/2020

It's Crabs Rose.

by Anonymousreply 2111/24/2020

You might have an STD. Let someone fuck you BB and ask them in a week if they notice anything ’unusual’ down there.

by Anonymousreply 2211/24/2020

No joke on the worms parasites. Look it up. If it gets worse at night thats a sign of them. Shower before bed and there's an OTC for it.

by Anonymousreply 2311/24/2020

Does your cooter itch?

by Anonymousreply 2411/24/2020

OP, you are one unoriginal heifer...

by Anonymousreply 2511/24/2020

Stop bottoming and prepping so much.

by Anonymousreply 2611/24/2020

Just thought I'd leave this here.

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by Anonymousreply 2711/24/2020

Anal warts

by Anonymousreply 2811/24/2020

Go to CVS and buy a bottle of Witch Hazel. Dip three qtips in the witch hazel until they are soaked. Squat and rub the qtips up and down your ass crack thoroughly. This will give you relief.

by Anonymousreply 2911/24/2020

Besides Witch Hazel go to Amazon and buy: Ichybum Anal Itching Cream (28 Grams)

by Anonymousreply 3011/24/2020

OP, you've been in denial long enough.

The next time someone calls you a baboon, grin and show your canines!

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by Anonymousreply 3111/24/2020

Reese's Pinworm Medicine

Google it. You can order it online, discreetly.

by Anonymousreply 3211/24/2020

[quote] Reese's Pinworm Medicine

I’m surprised Reese doesn’t have her own witch hazel too.

by Anonymousreply 3311/24/2020

The awful truth is always boundlessly more valuable than the most well intended lie.

You needed to see this!

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by Anonymousreply 3411/24/2020

One theory is that having intestinal worms makes you less susceptible to Covid. And some other stuff. Primes your immune system or something.

Always look on the bright side.

by Anonymousreply 3511/24/2020

Lol R34. That image is so old. I remember it being on rotten.com back in middle school (1999). I would sneak to those types of sites (including penis.com lmao) in the computer lab when no adults were around.

by Anonymousreply 3611/24/2020

I'm sure that there are those among us who've never seen it until now, R36. Now, off to detention you go! Go on!

by Anonymousreply 3711/24/2020

R34 As Pinworms are only 1/4 to 1/2 an inch in size I always reckoned that photo was either of a midget or faked with bean sprouts.

by Anonymousreply 3811/24/2020

I think it means you're going to be fucked by a stranger. But then how would that be different from any other night?

by Anonymousreply 3911/24/2020

Wear clean underwear.

by Anonymousreply 4011/24/2020

Raw veggies, ie. salads, can easily result in worms.

by Anonymousreply 4111/24/2020

Have you lost your gerbil lately?

by Anonymousreply 4211/24/2020

They say when your ear itches it means someone is talking about you. So if your ass itches, it means someone wants to fuck you.

by Anonymousreply 4311/24/2020

Scratch it you stupid fuck

by Anonymousreply 4411/24/2020

You should go in this morning

by Anonymousreply 4501/01/2021

You really should; if you still can?

by Anonymousreply 4601/01/2021

Prep H wipes have witch hazel in them. Just get the wipes.

by Anonymousreply 4701/01/2021

Have you taken an enema OP? Take a warm water enema with 2 Tbs. of baking soda in the water. If that doesn't stop your poonanny from itching you need to go to the doctor.

by Anonymousreply 4801/01/2021

Eating ass is soothing.

by Anonymousreply 4901/01/2021

This.

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by Anonymousreply 5001/01/2021

Op can u give us an update from inside the hot zone?

by Anonymousreply 5101/04/2021

[quote]I gave up excessive use of pre-moistened flushable wipes. My fart box was super irritated using those. But after laying off for a few days, we were open for business again.

FLUSHABLE wipes are a con. Anything can be flushed but very little actually disintegrates in sewer systems. Anything that fits down your toilet is flushable; golf balls could be advertised as FLUSHABLE.

Please throw your 'flushable wipes' in your trash not your toilet.

by Anonymousreply 5201/04/2021

Powdering your ass with corn starch helps with the itching. Also, R47 suggestion about Prep H wipes provides relief - just don't flush them down the toilet.

by Anonymousreply 5301/04/2021

Depend which part of your ass you are scratching.

Around the anus an it's an internal hemorrhoid.

The ass all over and it's usually to do with the winter months when the skin is most dry Usually ass and inner thighs and especially at night when in bed. Moisturize that ass to stop your skin being too dry and stop the itch,

by Anonymousreply 5401/04/2021

Give yourself a Pepsi enema, and then slide a Mento in and hold it. You'll be good as new.

by Anonymousreply 5501/04/2021

Tell the homeless man to pull out??

by Anonymousreply 5601/04/2021

I went through an itchy ass period a few years ago. Tried everything but nothing got rid of the itch. I ended up hooking up with a guy who loved eating ass. Problem solved. 30 mins of his wet tongue wagging through my butt was the cure.

by Anonymousreply 5701/04/2021

Ewww wormy

by Anonymousreply 5801/05/2021

This is very disturbing. I wish I could fix your problem with anal itch.

by Anonymousreply 5901/11/2021

I get an itchy ass just about every night. I went to a doctor, who shone a light up there and tested for pinworms, but no cause was found. That's typical, apparently. I've found that an antihistamine helps a lot, though.

by Anonymousreply 6001/11/2021

Sarna anti itch lotion unscented works

by Anonymousreply 6101/11/2021

R11 - only on DL would someone rush to even bother to correct that phrase for fear of the "oh dear" police and only on DL do you see 61 answers to such a topic.

by Anonymousreply 6201/11/2021

Try Pin-Rid.

by Anonymousreply 6301/11/2021

Try baking soda paste

by Anonymousreply 6401/11/2021

Try PanaCur. Some say it cures cancer as well as ridding you (and your dog) of worms. Great stuff, apparently.

"Two days after the PET scan, Joe Tippens said a veterinarian friend told him about a dog dewormer called fenbendazole that some people believe cured their cancer. It's branded as Panacur C and can be ordered online. Tippens did some research and learned the drug is considered safe for humans, with no serious side effects..."

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by Anonymousreply 6501/11/2021

Don't ask your bf to get down there and bite the crabs.

You pay a rent boy for that.

by Anonymousreply 6601/11/2021

I use dr Judy griffiths recovery cream in my asshole

by Anonymousreply 6701/15/2021
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