Hello and thank you for being a DL contributor. We are changing the login scheme for contributors for simpler login and to better support using multiple devices. Please click here to update your account with a username and password.

Hello. Some features on this site require registration. Please click here to register for free.

Hello and thank you for registering. Please complete the process by verifying your email address. If you can't find the email you can resend it here.

Hello. Some features on this site require a subscription. Please click here to get full access and no ads for $1.99 or less per month.

Let's pretend we're Datalounge 2050!

Who ever thought nonagenarian Abbess Madonna would steal the Pope's smoking hot husband!

by Anonymousreply 73November 30, 2020 3:31 PM

Eldergays: Anyone else remember glaciers?

by Anonymousreply 1November 23, 2020 11:07 AM

Remember when we had to type www.datalounge.com into a computer or phone keyboard instead of just thinking it?

by Anonymousreply 2November 23, 2020 11:09 AM

There won’t be a DataLounge in 2050 because homosexuality will be illegal by then after the US Supreme Court rules forced sex changes under the penalty of death for refusal to be constitutional by 27-0.

by Anonymousreply 3November 23, 2020 11:11 AM

That fucking 2045 Troll is at it again. Trying to hide bad shit about Barron Trump.

by Anonymousreply 4November 23, 2020 11:11 AM

R4, you’re under arrest for using the T-word. You hereby forfeit all your constitutional rights.

by Anonymousreply 5November 23, 2020 11:16 AM

President Claudia Conway issues a pardon to Nestor.for scamming donors to the presidential library and statue in Pennasola of the late Matt Gaetz.

by Anonymousreply 6November 23, 2020 11:30 AM

I'll be 97 in 2050. Hopefully, will have found the courage and wherewithal to stop logging on to this toxic shithole long before.

by Anonymousreply 7November 23, 2020 11:36 AM

OMG - I remember people talking about 2000 like some far off dream.

This song I remember - it starts "this is the year of 1987 and I'll be 24 at the end of the week", and me thinking I will be too....and it sounded so spooky, end of the world.

Offsite Link
by Anonymousreply 8November 23, 2020 11:41 AM

Timmy's Lifetime Achievement Oscar is so well deserved! Do you guys remember one of his old films Call Me By Your Name? Last week I was rewatching it and my grandchild asked me what it was. "2-D film," I said.

by Anonymousreply 9November 23, 2020 12:01 PM

OMG, tickets for Cher's farewell tour are $2,500!

by Anonymousreply 10November 23, 2020 12:10 PM

Call me an old fuddy duddy, but today's strip clubs don't hold a candle to the pre-2030 ones.

Offsite Link
by Anonymousreply 11November 23, 2020 12:12 PM

Armie Hammer hasn’t seen his grandchildren in six months because he’s too busy partying and romancing 20 year old bimbos.

by Anonymousreply 12November 23, 2020 12:14 PM

OMFG! My cat *almost* ran out of our pod without his solar shield activated. I’m trembling as I mindscript. What the trump am I supposed to do? Keep it activated 24/7?!? My energy ration is tight enough as it is.

by Anonymousreply 13November 23, 2020 12:16 PM

DLers, educate me on Katy Perry

by Anonymousreply 14November 23, 2020 12:19 PM

What will Princess Baroness wear to her National Debut tomorrow? She is the most beautiful of all girls! Her mouth hole is taut and pinhole sized, as is ideal for a woman! Her hair is a tornado of golden cotton candy! Her breasts, gravity-defying bowling balls! She has all the features of an ideal breeder, with an ideal figure for a strong man'a grip. Her great grandfather, His Highness, would be proud, may he reign in peaceful aggression in the heavens above.

What brown do you think they will sacrfice at Baroness's party?

by Anonymousreply 15November 23, 2020 12:23 PM

Eldergays, tell me about Hillary Clinton.

by Anonymousreply 16November 23, 2020 12:28 PM

Can you guys believe what that asshole Mitch McConnell tried to pass up as legislation today?

When will this old fuck be voted out for fuckTrump sake?

by Anonymousreply 17November 23, 2020 12:30 PM

I'm the uncanny persistence of eldergay threads on tragic topics:

Eldergays, what was your favorite Match Game episode (please, only from the period of Gene Rayburn as host (1973-1982)?

Who was your favorite of Charlie's Angels?

Where can I find Lysol Wipes? Shopping for groceries is like hell right now (Pt. 793)

by Anonymousreply 18November 23, 2020 12:32 PM

Eldergays, tell us about Kim Kardashian. What was she like?

by Anonymousreply 19November 23, 2020 12:44 PM

Yes! The cloning was a success, so Lucy will be coming back with a new series next fall. I can't wait. Am I bad person if I hope they were unable to bring back Gale Gordon?

by Anonymousreply 20November 23, 2020 12:51 PM

Can you believe it? Lá Sènatrice will turn 95 next month! And she's still caddying for Trump Junior.

by Anonymousreply 21November 23, 2020 12:56 PM

Has anyone seen Walt Disney’s newest feature?

I can’t believe that cryogenic stuff worked. I’m doing that when I die.

by Anonymousreply 22November 23, 2020 1:11 PM

Royal insiders say Queen Elisabeth is “too busy” to visit her elderly and ailing son Charles.

by Anonymousreply 23November 23, 2020 2:11 PM

Did anyone catch The Megan Show yesterday?

M shouted to the audience: "Look under your chairs!" And under these chairs were these needles.

And then she started screaming: "All of you are getting ZULU epidermal makeover injections! Yes, you! And you! And you! And YOU!"

And all the WASP fraus started jumping up and down sequealing, and hugging each other, and clapping their chubby little hands. I could barely see for tears.

by Anonymousreply 24November 23, 2020 3:07 PM

Bo Derek looks even more haggard!

by Anonymousreply 25November 23, 2020 3:17 PM

FOLLIES

by Anonymousreply 26November 23, 2020 3:20 PM

I’m afraid with this COVID-49 shit going around they’re going to cancel the Rockettes this year.

by Anonymousreply 27November 23, 2020 6:28 PM

We’ve been asking Muriel for an edit button for almost 70 years! When will we get one?!

by Anonymousreply 28November 23, 2020 6:29 PM

Socially distanced Rockettes just aren't the same...

by Anonymousreply 29November 23, 2020 6:30 PM

It's the apocalypse, so tell me about Kate Jackson.

by Anonymousreply 30November 23, 2020 6:56 PM

Don’t you remember, R28? I’ll never forget that fateful day five years ago when DL announced the news that Muriel died in a grease fire.

by Anonymousreply 31November 23, 2020 6:59 PM

Katrina Lenk was too old for Carlotta, r26.

by Anonymousreply 32November 23, 2020 8:05 PM

I'm non-terrestrial!

by Anonymousreply 33November 23, 2020 8:13 PM

Madonna's latest plastic surgery looks good. But I think she needs to dress in a more mature style.

by Anonymousreply 34November 23, 2020 8:23 PM

Keith Richards, 107, seen out and about with new girlfriend, 46.

by Anonymousreply 35November 23, 2020 11:51 PM

Tasteful friends: Mar-a-Lago is for sale! Asking $378 trillion, including seawall.

by Anonymousreply 36November 24, 2020 12:10 AM

Eldergays: is it true that people over 65 didn't necessarily have to work - that they actually got money from the government to do nothing?!

by Anonymousreply 37November 24, 2020 12:14 AM

Good thing they got rid of term limits in time for Joe Biden to serve indefinitely. And who would have thought he would not only make it past 100 but win an ultra-marathon in the process? And on top of being the president to find a cure for homosexuality to boot!

I only wish there were still Jews here to see this momentous moment.

by Anonymousreply 38November 24, 2020 1:16 AM

Fuck off, Matthew.

by Anonymousreply 39November 24, 2020 1:29 AM

[quote] Has anyone seen Walt Disney’s newest feature? I can’t believe that cryogenic stuff worked.

I can’t believe they brought back the Hollywood blacklist as soon as he came back.

by Anonymousreply 40November 24, 2020 11:20 AM

In 2050, when every other site has already implemented scratch-and-sniff holographic emojis, Datalounge will be introducing the cutting edge sophisticated internet functionality called 'posting animated gifs'.

Let's hope we've moved on by then. I'm surprised this garbage website isn't steam-powered from the looks of it. Muriel probably has to head in to the mediapolis office every morning to remember to turn a crank to keep it running.

by Anonymousreply 41November 24, 2020 12:38 PM

[quote] I can’t believe they brought back the Hollywood blacklist

Is this a list of African American actors?

by Anonymousreply 42November 24, 2020 1:05 PM

Whoever you are, stop bumping threads from 2037!

by Anonymousreply 43November 25, 2020 12:29 AM

This 15th film in the [italic]Cuties[/italic] franchise is the best yet! How'd they manage to teach fetuses how to twerk?

by Anonymousreply 44November 25, 2020 2:02 AM

Speaking of which, the latest iteration of Sharknado is probably the worst yet. I can’t believe I bothered to downbrain it.

by Anonymousreply 45November 25, 2020 12:16 PM

My back hurts from having to pray to Mecca five times a day.

by Anonymousreply 46November 25, 2020 12:20 PM

Wait’ll someone tells you you’re facing the wrong way.

by Anonymousreply 47November 25, 2020 12:26 PM

Yes, last year I did make the once in a lifetime pilgrimage to Sevnica, Slovenia, to pay homage to the post-virgin goddess Melania.

Offsite Link
by Anonymousreply 48November 25, 2020 5:11 PM

This country has gotten so much better since we scrapped that pesky old bill of rights and that cumbersome constitution and replaced them both with a handwritten statement on a cocktail napkin: “the United States government can do whatever it wants whenever it wants to whoever it wants with no repercussions whatsoever, so fuck you.“ That was literally all it took to give Democrats permanent absolute power with zero resistance from anyone.

by Anonymousreply 49November 26, 2020 5:14 PM

I can’t believe what Queen Ivanka did today! How ████ of that ████ ████ to ████ our rights like that! I hope she ████ soon. I ████ HER!

by Anonymousreply 50November 26, 2020 6:02 PM

Funny, r49, I may be in my eighties, but I clearly remember the old Republican Party quite literally adopting as its 2020 platform, “Whatever Trump Wants.”

And how did that work out for them in the end, after the MAGA (Federalist) Party collapsed in disarray after Harris’ landslide victory in 2024?

by Anonymousreply 51November 26, 2020 6:21 PM

You’re only in your eighties, r51?

What the hell do you kids know? Damn millennials.

by Anonymousreply 52November 26, 2020 6:23 PM

Why Did Reese Witherspoon Wind Up in This Dreary, Horrible, Sad Little Apartment After Such a Long Career?

by Anonymousreply 53November 26, 2020 6:23 PM

This is the fifthteenth anniversary of when former President Pete Buttigieg initiated the American Renaissance. He delivered animal rights and brought to the forefront classical music, opera, poetry, amazing literature, and fantastic theater and film. Garbage social media was regulated to the ashheap of history.

by Anonymousreply 54November 26, 2020 8:45 PM

[quote] Garbage social media was regulated to the ashheap of history.

Oh, dear x2!

by Anonymousreply 55November 26, 2020 8:55 PM

[quote]Eldergays, tell me about Hillary Clinton.

She was our greatest President ever from 2016 to 2020. She single-handedly saved America.

by Anonymousreply 56November 26, 2020 9:08 PM

Still waiting for EJ to return to Days.

by Anonymousreply 57November 26, 2020 9:09 PM

I'll be 70 but I'll look 40.

by Anonymousreply 58November 26, 2020 9:11 PM

And you’ll still be hot, r58!!

by Anonymousreply 59November 26, 2020 9:12 PM

The fishing in Florida is great with all those manmade former high-rise reefs all along the coast.

by Anonymousreply 60November 26, 2020 9:25 PM

There won't be any world left in 2050

by Anonymousreply 61November 26, 2020 9:44 PM

R55 you are an "oh, dear". Get a grip on yourself.

Offsite Link
by Anonymousreply 62November 26, 2020 10:49 PM

You’re definitely new here, aren’t you r62?

You apparently have no idea what “oh, dear” means and you tried to use a gif, which we haven’t had for a long time here.

Eh, either way, welcome and stick around.

by Anonymousreply 63November 26, 2020 10:57 PM

I’m so looking forward to Thanksgiving next week. We’re due a slight cool down too here in Dallas- the high on Turkey day will be 108...after the summer we had with 92 days at 130 or higher... this cool spell is welcome relief

by Anonymousreply 64November 26, 2020 11:03 PM

Oooh, Dallas. Have you been to the ocean in Irving?

by Anonymousreply 65November 26, 2020 11:06 PM

Where is my jet pack? I am still waiting. Now you can’t get a fuel ration card to fill them.

by Anonymousreply 66November 26, 2020 11:14 PM

R63 "Dear", you are so wrong with your struggle to be condescending.

by Anonymousreply 67November 27, 2020 10:47 AM

Condescending? Wow.

Did you not read the last sentence, douche?

by Anonymousreply 68November 27, 2020 12:17 PM

Stop complaining about not being able to post during prime time and just pay the $4.99 you cheap whores. The price has only gone up $3.00 in 30 years and there are rumors of a search function being added soon.

by Anonymousreply 69November 27, 2020 4:09 PM

Cheap? We live in a world where non-processed food is a luxury item.

by Anonymousreply 70November 27, 2020 4:20 PM

Look, if you can afford your $749/month for Netflix you can afford to pay for DL.

by Anonymousreply 71November 27, 2020 5:39 PM

R71: Netflix hasn't been worth that kind of money since they canceled the re-reboot of [italic]One Day at a Time[/italic] that made the core family Inuit this time. The very special episode where Grandma Ataksak rebelled against being put on an ice floe should have won a Peabody, but the episode where the ex-husband falls into the Gulf of Alaska and gets eaten by an orca was just exploitative.

But why would an igloo need a superintendent and what Inuit person is named "Schneider" anyway? They still need to explain that.

by Anonymousreply 72November 28, 2020 1:22 AM

Cher has been fully refurbished and is now made of 100% ultrasuede.

by Anonymousreply 73November 30, 2020 3:31 PM
Loading
Need more help? Click Here.

Yes indeed, we too use "cookies." Take a look at our privacy/terms or if you just want to see the damn site without all this bureaucratic nonsense, click ACCEPT. Otherwise, you'll just have to find some other site for your pointless bitchery needs.

×

Become a contributor - post when you want with no ads!