Have you ever suspected that you're a narcissist?

Narcisim is a human personality trait that everyone has. It's a sliding scale. From barely any narcissism, to problematically too much. To pathologically too much.

In short, everyone is at least a little bit narcissistic.

Does that help?

My dad is definitely a narcissist, FWIW. And a psychiatrist, to boot.

R1 not OP, but it helps me a lot.

I have narcissistic traits; I'm also incredibly kind (so I'm told)

I'll hear both in the same day; it's incredibly confusing.

What is the opposite of a narcissist? That’s me.

American culture is narcissistic so it’s very easy to latch on to the me, me, me messaging we are bombarded with constantly. It’s easy to label people narcissists but in reality they are just selfish cunts who don’t know any better.

Would it ever occur to a true narcissist that he has a personality disorder?

R6 no because that would be admitting to being flawed. Narcissists are PERFECT. Trump is a textbook case.

[quote]Would it ever occur to a true narcissist that he has a personality disorder?

Exactly. If you wonder or worry that you're a narcissist, it means you possess some amount of self-awareness and and understand that you have flaws. This is impossible for an actual narcissist.

[quote] I know that in many contexts I am self-involved. I can be narcissistic.

Can you give us an example or two, OP? I'm genuinely interested.

r9 I'm in academia and I often think my work is superior to that of most of my colleagues. Not all, and I recognize a few are brilliant and produce work as good or better than mine. But most don't.

See ... even typing that is embarrassing because I know how bad it makes me seem

I wondered for a long time if I were a narcissist and finally figured out I'm just an introvert.

I care about people, animals, the earth, and generally doing the right thing. I have a sense of humor and I admit when I am wrong and apologize if I've done something inadvertently that harms someone or hurts their feelings.

But I also need a lot of alone time to regroup and re-energize after I've interacted too much with other people. I used to think if I pulled back to focus on my own needs, it was narcissistic not to keep giving and doing for others. Now I've learned if I'm depleted I don't have anything to give anyone.

I should add at r10, I suppose thoughts like these are common in academia. But then, so is narcissism.

I know so many women who are narcissists. If you start talking to them about anything other than themselves, you can see their focus move away from the conversation. To bring them back, I just shift back to talking about them and how great they are

I think narcissists don’t show much empathy and treat those close to them very poorly. That is different than being self involved the way many people are.

Excellent point r14

It's somewhat over diagnosed. There's a subreddit called raised by narcissists where people share stories of their terrible upbringings. There's no question that many of their parents were atrocious human beings unfit for raising kids. But in some of these anecdotes, it's not clear exactly what diagnoses these people had. Some were narcissists, others were drug addicts, paranoiacs, or manic depressives. It's become a catch all term for " bad or unstable person".

I had a good friend who was convinced everyone in his life - his wife, his boss(es), his sister(s), his editor (he's a writer on the side), his ex friend (through whom we met), and then finally, me - were narcissists of varying degrees. This progression happened over years. I realized it was him, all along, who was the narcissist. Everything was about him - even when he was talking about my issues. When I'd bring that up, he'd gaslight me and say some BS like I wasn't philosophically stable enough to banter with him.

He was, by far, the most intelligent person I've ever met and I loved talking with him about the myriad of topics we discussed. But, in the end, his constant need to be the center of attention/denigrating me for things that made no sense made the friendship too toxic. He pulled the plug on our friendship (for absolutely nothing) and while I miss him from time to time, I'm better off without the drama.

I have the same question as r6. Would a narcissist know or admit they were one? If they did, wouldn’t that mean they’re not a narcissist?

My mother is a narcissist to the core of her being. She is so draining I can’t stand talking to her for more than ten minutes. I can only be around her if I’m on anti anxiety drugs and then only for around six hours tops. She really truly does not give a shit about anyone and thinks she is superior to everyone. Then she has these crashes of self awareness every few years and has meltdowns. I refuse to have anything to do with kids as a result of being raised by her.

A true narcissist would only admit the diagnosis if he thought it would give him an advantage or win people over. The scenarios in which that would be the case are.....limited.

[quote] Would it ever occur to a true narcissist that he has a personality disorder?

You could ask one personally. You can contact him (202) 456-1414. The address associated with the phone number is 1600 Pennsylvania Ave., Washington, D.C. 20500

Narcissistic personality disorder and vanity/entitlement are different things. I've only known one person in my entire life who I believed to be NPD, and being around him could be a truly frightening experience - it's far beyond just taking selfies and trying to look good on the internet.

I’ve wondered if I am. I believe I’ve acted out in narcissistic behaviors throughout my life, especially in my youth, however, I’ve never been diagnosed as one, FWIW.

But no. I don’t believe I’m a full on narcissist, but have been selfish and even unkind when in a bad mood. Fortunately, I’ve usually hurt myself instead of others. I’m not into screwing people over or hurting people.

I got issues, but honestly that ain't one. Don't have that much self-love, never have.