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Since 1995

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Let’s be a Sophia and Angela fight DL style.

May your pussy never smell fresh again!

May your pubic hair get tangled up with your asshole hall and pull your dick off!

May you never look a day over 95!

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by Guido Spirelli reply 101Last Wednesday at 3:57 PM

May you get raped by Scott Baio and then get AIDS from Danny Pintauro.

by Guido Spirelli reply 111/17/2020

May your bottoms NEVER clean out properly!

by Guido Spirelli reply 211/17/2020

May your pasta always cling to your strainer.

by Guido Spirelli reply 311/17/2020

May you always put the fabric softener next to the aluminum foil!

by Guido Spirelli reply 411/17/2020

[quote] May you always put the fabric softener next to the aluminum foil!

?

by Guido Spirelli reply 511/17/2020

They were put next to each other in a grocery store scene in a season 2 episode.

by Guido Spirelli reply 611/17/2020

May your pussy never be eaten out again!

by Guido Spirelli reply 711/17/2020

May you shove your dildo so far up your ass it goes to your throat and chokes you to death!

by Guido Spirelli reply 811/17/2020

Ah yes, R6, the Pounce fabric softener that looked a lot like Bounce fabric softener.

by Guido Spirelli reply 911/17/2020

May you always get shit in your mouth whenever you eat ass!

by Guido Spirelli reply 1011/17/2020

May every movie you ever try to watch turn out to be Lucy's Mame!

by Guido Spirelli reply 1111/17/2020

May every man you try to date espouse the benefits of President Trump!

by Guido Spirelli reply 1211/17/2020

May your apostrophes disappear when they should appear and appear when they shouldn’t!

by Guido Spirelli reply 1311/17/2020

May you always look as old as you actually are!

by Guido Spirelli reply 1411/17/2020

[quote]May every movie you ever try to watch turn out to be Lucy's Mame!

May every movie you direct become Can't Stop the Music.

by Guido Spirelli reply 1511/17/2020

May you shit your pants whenever you think you only have to fart!

by Guido Spirelli reply 1611/17/2020

May your thread get locked by Muriel!

by Guido Spirelli reply 1711/17/2020

May your house be made fun of on a Tasteful Friends thread after you put it up for sale!

by Guido Spirelli reply 1811/17/2020

May you have to move to flyover land and live in a spacious colonial two story.

by Guido Spirelli reply 1911/17/2020

May every Golden Girls episode you watch be the Empty Nest pilot!

by Guido Spirelli reply 2011/17/2020

May your ass get so fat it cracks a toilet seat!

by Guido Spirelli reply 2111/17/2020

May you end up buying a hotel the same year as a major hurricane!

by Guido Spirelli reply 2211/17/2020

May your franken vag close up after forgetting to dilate and drinking a 24 pack Of natty!

by Guido Spirelli reply 2311/17/2020

May you get twat cancer for dying your pussy hairs to match the drapes.

by Guido Spirelli reply 2411/17/2020

May your back grow hair thicker than Jerry Vale's!

by Guido Spirelli reply 2511/18/2020

May someone kick you in the cunt with superglue on their soles and they can't get their shoe off!

by Guido Spirelli reply 2611/18/2020

May your underwear catch fire after you fart in front of an open flame!

by Guido Spirelli reply 2711/18/2020

May your caftan suffocate you when pulling it up for whoring!

by Guido Spirelli reply 2811/18/2020

May you lose your tampon and have to borrow one from Jessica Yaniv!

by Guido Spirelli reply 2911/18/2020

May your real daughter turn out to be Gina so SHE can put you into Shady Pines!

by Guido Spirelli reply 3011/18/2020

May your earrings never match your caftan!

May you lose your looks as fast as Coco disappeared from Season 1!

by Guido Spirelli reply 3111/18/2020

May you suffer a Charley Horse any time you attempt to do Windshield Wipers!

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by Guido Spirelli reply 3211/18/2020

May your bladder fall down through your pussy and drag the floor while you walk.

by Guido Spirelli reply 3311/18/2020

May your pencil break on the sixth number.

by Guido Spirelli reply 3411/18/2020

May you be tied to your bed and forced to watch the entire series of "Designing Women" without sleeping.

by Guido Spirelli reply 3511/18/2020

R35 I’d like that!

by Guido Spirelli reply 3611/18/2020

That includes the Julia Duffy and Judith Ivey seasons, r36.

by Guido Spirelli reply 3711/18/2020

I like the Julia Dufy season and tolerate the lady Judith Ivey one!

by Guido Spirelli reply 3811/18/2020

May the corn you eat for dinner always make a repeat visit!

by Guido Spirelli reply 3911/18/2020

May your last meal be a bacon, lettuce and potato sandwich!

by Guido Spirelli reply 4011/18/2020

May all your tricks savagely critique the contents of your refrigerator!

by Guido Spirelli reply 4111/18/2020

May Emily Murphy abscond with all your Hostess Snack Cakes!

by Guido Spirelli reply 4211/18/2020

May your polenta be good only for stucco.

by Guido Spirelli reply 4311/18/2020

May your eyebrows always look like Wilford Brimleys!

by Guido Spirelli reply 4411/18/2020

May your hearing aid always squeal.

by Guido Spirelli reply 4511/18/2020

May a toothless yak gum your grandmother's Wheat Thins!

by Guido Spirelli reply 4611/18/2020

May your meathooks never be able to GRAB THAT DOUGH!

by Guido Spirelli reply 4711/18/2020

May the results of Frieda Claxton's prune danish end up under your pillow!

by Guido Spirelli reply 4811/18/2020

May your pesto sauce only be used as ear salve!

by Guido Spirelli reply 4911/18/2020

May the boil on your butt pop and end up in your bowl of Nabisco Ziti O's!

by Guido Spirelli reply 5011/18/2020

May you find out the truth - that you are really an old Jewish lady and just playing an old Italian lady on tv.

by Guido Spirelli reply 5111/18/2020

May you walk in on Rose and her boyfriend Miles and realize that he's your supposedly late husband Carmine!

by Guido Spirelli reply 5211/18/2020

May you answer the door and be greeted by Larry, his brother Darryl and his other brother Darryl.

by Guido Spirelli reply 5311/18/2020

May you eat the corn out of my shit!

by Guido Spirelli reply 5411/18/2020

May you wake up and discover that you now talk like Fran Drescher.

by Guido Spirelli reply 5511/18/2020

May you wake up in bed with Donald Trump and he says "This is too sick, even for me."

by Guido Spirelli reply 5611/18/2020

May you choke on the raunchy odors wafting out of my pussy and asshole!

by Guido Spirelli reply 5711/18/2020

May your next shit look like chipped beef on lightly toasted bread!

by Guido Spirelli reply 5811/18/2020

May you get stuck on an airplane showing [italic]Leonard Part 6[/italic] and [italic]Ishtar[/italic].

by Guido Spirelli reply 5911/18/2020

R59 And Arthur II on the return flight.

by Guido Spirelli reply 6011/18/2020

May your blue rinse stain all your towels!

by Guido Spirelli reply 6111/18/2020

May your fat ass fall asleep on the couch and get fused to it!

by Guido Spirelli reply 6211/18/2020

May your Chanel #5 turn into a painted rock that makes you impotent.

by Guido Spirelli reply 6311/18/2020

May a goat shit on your dead husband's grave!

by Guido Spirelli reply 6411/18/2020

May your brassiere elastic snap and you breasts drop like cannon balls!

by Guido Spirelli reply 6511/18/2020

May you mix up your Vagisil and your DentureGrip!

by Guido Spirelli reply 6611/18/2020

May your shitbra snap while swinging it!

by Guido Spirelli reply 6711/18/2020

[quote] May you get stuck on an airplane showing Leonard Part 6 and Ishtar.

You fucked that one up. It should be Three Amigos, with a headset.

by Guido Spirelli reply 6811/19/2020

May you die in a greese fire!

by Guido Spirelli reply 6911/19/2020

May all your grindr hook ups be FtM!

by Guido Spirelli reply 7011/19/2020

[quote]May you die in a greese fire!

May you hear "oh dear" every day for the rest of your wretched life!

by Guido Spirelli reply 7111/19/2020

May the sewers of Rangoon back up into your bidet!

by Guido Spirelli reply 7211/19/2020

May you get stuck in an elevator with Shelley Long!

by Guido Spirelli reply 7311/19/2020

They have this big-ish house but have no dining area, always eat in the kitchen. Or maybe I'm wrong.

by Guido Spirelli reply 7411/19/2020

R74 Their dining area for those nice Miami sunny days was the lanai.

by Guido Spirelli reply 7511/19/2020

May your foreskin never be free of smegma!

May you spend your career in a cubicle with fat fraus in yoga pants!

by Guido Spirelli reply 7611/19/2020

R70 = Gil Kessler

by Guido Spirelli reply 7711/19/2020

May all of your showers involve your naked daughter Dorothy coming up behind you...

by Guido Spirelli reply 7811/20/2020

May all of your Prince cassettes be taped over with Rose's St. Olaf stories!!!

by Guido Spirelli reply 7911/20/2020

May Nurse DeFarge mix up all of your medications!!!

by Guido Spirelli reply 8011/20/2020

May Freida Claxton never offer you a prune danish.

by Guido Spirelli reply 8111/20/2020

May Mother Zbornak's copy of "The Artwork of Adolph Hitler* end up in your Christmas stocking.

by Guido Spirelli reply 8211/21/2020

May you never be able to walk ANY month of the year!

by Guido Spirelli reply 8311/21/2020

May your pepperoni always sink, not swim.

by Guido Spirelli reply 8411/21/2020

May your herring always be shot into a tree then eaten by Count Bessie!

by Guido Spirelli reply 8511/21/2020

May you be a guest on [italic]The Tonight Show[/italic] when Johnny's not hosting!

by Guido Spirelli reply 8611/21/2020

May you have to read endless threads about a shitty sitcom!

by Guido Spirelli reply 8711/22/2020

May your posts always receive Flames & Freaks and never Wit & Wisdoms!

by Guido Spirelli reply 8811/22/2020

May you go to the airport to pick me up and only find my goat!

by Guido Spirelli reply 8911/22/2020

May your neighbor constantly barge in, eat your food directly out of the refrigerator, and regale you with tales of his sexual conquests.

by Guido Spirelli reply 9011/22/2020

Sophia should have been killed off in the episode they go to Blanche's Grammy's plantation and the old Raisin In Sneakers is stupid enough to jump off the room into a pile of hay below. Idiot.

The final shot should have been of the hay bales, with her withered old legs sticking out of them.

by Guido Spirelli reply 9111/22/2020

May Sophia die after eating her own baked ziti.

by Guido Spirelli reply 9211/23/2020

May your last work be a sanctimonious faux-edgy sitcom on Fox.

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by Guido Spirelli reply 9311/23/2020

Half of you are doing this thread wrong. You are supposed to be DL curses in the style of Angela and Sophia. NOT Golden Girl referenced curses.

by Guido Spirelli reply 94Last Tuesday at 4:22 AM

May your blown out asshole never be able to sit on a bar stool again!

by Guido Spirelli reply 95Last Tuesday at 6:00 AM

R95 Not even upside down?

by Guido Spirelli reply 96Last Tuesday at 6:02 AM

May you be stuck in a nursing home with nothing but Golden Girls re-runs on TV!

by Guido Spirelli reply 97Last Tuesday at 6:06 AM

May you wake up, go to your kitchen, and find doctor Richard Crenna, attorney Patty Duke, nerdy kids Helen Hunt and Anthony Edwards and senile granny Billie Bird there, and be arrested for trespassing.

by Guido Spirelli reply 98Last Tuesday at 6:09 AM

May every box of candy you open have doody balls in it!

by Guido Spirelli reply 99Last Tuesday at 6:14 AM

May you be watching I Want to Live and your power goes out right before Susan Hayward's climactic speech.

by Guido Spirelli reply 100Last Tuesday at 6:26 AM

May all your men be forever stolen by pint sized harlots!

by Guido Spirelli reply 101Last Wednesday at 3:57 PM
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