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Let’s be a Sophia and Angela fight DL style.

May your pussy never smell fresh again!

May your pubic hair get tangled up with your asshole hall and pull your dick off!

May you never look a day over 95!

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by Anonymousreply 109February 14, 2021 8:54 PM

May you get raped by Scott Baio and then get AIDS from Danny Pintauro.

by Anonymousreply 1November 18, 2020 12:01 AM

May your bottoms NEVER clean out properly!

by Anonymousreply 2November 18, 2020 12:18 AM

May your pasta always cling to your strainer.

by Anonymousreply 3November 18, 2020 12:19 AM

May you always put the fabric softener next to the aluminum foil!

by Anonymousreply 4November 18, 2020 12:20 AM

[quote] May you always put the fabric softener next to the aluminum foil!

?

by Anonymousreply 5November 18, 2020 12:25 AM

They were put next to each other in a grocery store scene in a season 2 episode.

by Anonymousreply 6November 18, 2020 12:26 AM

May your pussy never be eaten out again!

by Anonymousreply 7November 18, 2020 1:13 AM

May you shove your dildo so far up your ass it goes to your throat and chokes you to death!

by Anonymousreply 8November 18, 2020 2:06 AM

Ah yes, R6, the Pounce fabric softener that looked a lot like Bounce fabric softener.

by Anonymousreply 9November 18, 2020 3:05 AM

May you always get shit in your mouth whenever you eat ass!

by Anonymousreply 10November 18, 2020 3:07 AM

May every movie you ever try to watch turn out to be Lucy's Mame!

by Anonymousreply 11November 18, 2020 3:08 AM

May every man you try to date espouse the benefits of President Trump!

by Anonymousreply 12November 18, 2020 3:11 AM

May your apostrophes disappear when they should appear and appear when they shouldn’t!

by Anonymousreply 13November 18, 2020 3:27 AM

May you always look as old as you actually are!

by Anonymousreply 14November 18, 2020 3:28 AM

[quote]May every movie you ever try to watch turn out to be Lucy's Mame!

May every movie you direct become Can't Stop the Music.

by Anonymousreply 15November 18, 2020 3:29 AM

May you shit your pants whenever you think you only have to fart!

by Anonymousreply 16November 18, 2020 3:30 AM

May your thread get locked by Muriel!

by Anonymousreply 17November 18, 2020 3:38 AM

May your house be made fun of on a Tasteful Friends thread after you put it up for sale!

by Anonymousreply 18November 18, 2020 3:40 AM

May you have to move to flyover land and live in a spacious colonial two story.

by Anonymousreply 19November 18, 2020 3:46 AM

May every Golden Girls episode you watch be the Empty Nest pilot!

by Anonymousreply 20November 18, 2020 3:48 AM

May your ass get so fat it cracks a toilet seat!

by Anonymousreply 21November 18, 2020 3:49 AM

May you end up buying a hotel the same year as a major hurricane!

by Anonymousreply 22November 18, 2020 3:55 AM

May your franken vag close up after forgetting to dilate and drinking a 24 pack Of natty!

by Anonymousreply 23November 18, 2020 5:25 AM

May you get twat cancer for dying your pussy hairs to match the drapes.

by Anonymousreply 24November 18, 2020 7:53 AM

May your back grow hair thicker than Jerry Vale's!

by Anonymousreply 25November 18, 2020 12:12 PM

May someone kick you in the cunt with superglue on their soles and they can't get their shoe off!

by Anonymousreply 26November 18, 2020 12:33 PM

May your underwear catch fire after you fart in front of an open flame!

by Anonymousreply 27November 18, 2020 12:37 PM

May your caftan suffocate you when pulling it up for whoring!

by Anonymousreply 28November 18, 2020 12:42 PM

May you lose your tampon and have to borrow one from Jessica Yaniv!

by Anonymousreply 29November 18, 2020 4:26 PM

May your real daughter turn out to be Gina so SHE can put you into Shady Pines!

by Anonymousreply 30November 18, 2020 4:42 PM

May your earrings never match your caftan!

May you lose your looks as fast as Coco disappeared from Season 1!

by Anonymousreply 31November 18, 2020 4:47 PM

May you suffer a Charley Horse any time you attempt to do Windshield Wipers!

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by Anonymousreply 32November 18, 2020 8:43 PM

May your bladder fall down through your pussy and drag the floor while you walk.

by Anonymousreply 33November 18, 2020 10:11 PM

May your pencil break on the sixth number.

by Anonymousreply 34November 18, 2020 10:14 PM

May you be tied to your bed and forced to watch the entire series of "Designing Women" without sleeping.

by Anonymousreply 35November 18, 2020 10:44 PM

R35 I’d like that!

by Anonymousreply 36November 18, 2020 10:45 PM

That includes the Julia Duffy and Judith Ivey seasons, r36.

by Anonymousreply 37November 18, 2020 10:51 PM

I like the Julia Dufy season and tolerate the lady Judith Ivey one!

by Anonymousreply 38November 18, 2020 11:11 PM

May the corn you eat for dinner always make a repeat visit!

by Anonymousreply 39November 18, 2020 11:14 PM

May your last meal be a bacon, lettuce and potato sandwich!

by Anonymousreply 40November 18, 2020 11:15 PM

May all your tricks savagely critique the contents of your refrigerator!

by Anonymousreply 41November 18, 2020 11:15 PM

May Emily Murphy abscond with all your Hostess Snack Cakes!

by Anonymousreply 42November 18, 2020 11:16 PM

May your polenta be good only for stucco.

by Anonymousreply 43November 18, 2020 11:17 PM

May your eyebrows always look like Wilford Brimleys!

by Anonymousreply 44November 18, 2020 11:17 PM

May your hearing aid always squeal.

by Anonymousreply 45November 18, 2020 11:19 PM

May a toothless yak gum your grandmother's Wheat Thins!

by Anonymousreply 46November 18, 2020 11:19 PM

May your meathooks never be able to GRAB THAT DOUGH!

by Anonymousreply 47November 18, 2020 11:21 PM

May the results of Frieda Claxton's prune danish end up under your pillow!

by Anonymousreply 48November 18, 2020 11:22 PM

May your pesto sauce only be used as ear salve!

by Anonymousreply 49November 18, 2020 11:33 PM

May the boil on your butt pop and end up in your bowl of Nabisco Ziti O's!

by Anonymousreply 50November 18, 2020 11:49 PM

May you find out the truth - that you are really an old Jewish lady and just playing an old Italian lady on tv.

by Anonymousreply 51November 18, 2020 11:49 PM

May you walk in on Rose and her boyfriend Miles and realize that he's your supposedly late husband Carmine!

by Anonymousreply 52November 18, 2020 11:51 PM

May you answer the door and be greeted by Larry, his brother Darryl and his other brother Darryl.

by Anonymousreply 53November 18, 2020 11:53 PM

May you eat the corn out of my shit!

by Anonymousreply 54November 18, 2020 11:54 PM

May you wake up and discover that you now talk like Fran Drescher.

by Anonymousreply 55November 18, 2020 11:58 PM

May you wake up in bed with Donald Trump and he says "This is too sick, even for me."

by Anonymousreply 56November 19, 2020 12:02 AM

May you choke on the raunchy odors wafting out of my pussy and asshole!

by Anonymousreply 57November 19, 2020 12:08 AM

May your next shit look like chipped beef on lightly toasted bread!

by Anonymousreply 58November 19, 2020 12:09 AM

May you get stuck on an airplane showing [italic]Leonard Part 6[/italic] and [italic]Ishtar[/italic].

by Anonymousreply 59November 19, 2020 12:11 AM

R59 And Arthur II on the return flight.

by Anonymousreply 60November 19, 2020 12:36 AM

May your blue rinse stain all your towels!

by Anonymousreply 61November 19, 2020 1:01 AM

May your fat ass fall asleep on the couch and get fused to it!

by Anonymousreply 62November 19, 2020 2:21 AM

May your Chanel #5 turn into a painted rock that makes you impotent.

by Anonymousreply 63November 19, 2020 2:29 AM

May a goat shit on your dead husband's grave!

by Anonymousreply 64November 19, 2020 3:29 AM

May your brassiere elastic snap and you breasts drop like cannon balls!

by Anonymousreply 65November 19, 2020 3:33 AM

May you mix up your Vagisil and your DentureGrip!

by Anonymousreply 66November 19, 2020 3:42 AM

May your shitbra snap while swinging it!

by Anonymousreply 67November 19, 2020 6:11 AM

[quote] May you get stuck on an airplane showing Leonard Part 6 and Ishtar.

You fucked that one up. It should be Three Amigos, with a headset.

by Anonymousreply 68November 19, 2020 9:58 AM

May you die in a greese fire!

by Anonymousreply 69November 19, 2020 1:51 PM

May all your grindr hook ups be FtM!

by Anonymousreply 70November 19, 2020 1:52 PM

[quote]May you die in a greese fire!

May you hear "oh dear" every day for the rest of your wretched life!

by Anonymousreply 71November 19, 2020 1:54 PM

May the sewers of Rangoon back up into your bidet!

by Anonymousreply 72November 19, 2020 2:06 PM

May you get stuck in an elevator with Shelley Long!

by Anonymousreply 73November 19, 2020 2:09 PM

They have this big-ish house but have no dining area, always eat in the kitchen. Or maybe I'm wrong.

by Anonymousreply 74November 19, 2020 2:14 PM

R74 Their dining area for those nice Miami sunny days was the lanai.

by Anonymousreply 75November 19, 2020 2:16 PM

May your foreskin never be free of smegma!

May you spend your career in a cubicle with fat fraus in yoga pants!

by Anonymousreply 76November 19, 2020 3:11 PM

R70 = Gil Kessler

by Anonymousreply 77November 19, 2020 10:05 PM

May all of your showers involve your naked daughter Dorothy coming up behind you...

by Anonymousreply 78November 21, 2020 4:03 AM

May all of your Prince cassettes be taped over with Rose's St. Olaf stories!!!

by Anonymousreply 79November 21, 2020 4:08 AM

May Nurse DeFarge mix up all of your medications!!!

by Anonymousreply 80November 21, 2020 4:10 AM

May Freida Claxton never offer you a prune danish.

by Anonymousreply 81November 21, 2020 6:40 AM

May Mother Zbornak's copy of "The Artwork of Adolph Hitler* end up in your Christmas stocking.

by Anonymousreply 82November 21, 2020 2:07 PM

May you never be able to walk ANY month of the year!

by Anonymousreply 83November 21, 2020 4:44 PM

May your pepperoni always sink, not swim.

by Anonymousreply 84November 21, 2020 4:59 PM

May your herring always be shot into a tree then eaten by Count Bessie!

by Anonymousreply 85November 21, 2020 5:01 PM

May you be a guest on [italic]The Tonight Show[/italic] when Johnny's not hosting!

by Anonymousreply 86November 22, 2020 3:09 AM

May you have to read endless threads about a shitty sitcom!

by Anonymousreply 87November 22, 2020 10:42 AM

May your posts always receive Flames & Freaks and never Wit & Wisdoms!

by Anonymousreply 88November 22, 2020 12:40 PM

May you go to the airport to pick me up and only find my goat!

by Anonymousreply 89November 22, 2020 12:47 PM

May your neighbor constantly barge in, eat your food directly out of the refrigerator, and regale you with tales of his sexual conquests.

by Anonymousreply 90November 22, 2020 3:15 PM

Sophia should have been killed off in the episode they go to Blanche's Grammy's plantation and the old Raisin In Sneakers is stupid enough to jump off the room into a pile of hay below. Idiot.

The final shot should have been of the hay bales, with her withered old legs sticking out of them.

by Anonymousreply 91November 22, 2020 4:42 PM

May Sophia die after eating her own baked ziti.

by Anonymousreply 92November 23, 2020 10:10 AM

May your last work be a sanctimonious faux-edgy sitcom on Fox.

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by Anonymousreply 93November 23, 2020 10:46 AM

Half of you are doing this thread wrong. You are supposed to be DL curses in the style of Angela and Sophia. NOT Golden Girl referenced curses.

by Anonymousreply 94November 24, 2020 1:22 PM

May your blown out asshole never be able to sit on a bar stool again!

by Anonymousreply 95November 24, 2020 3:00 PM

R95 Not even upside down?

by Anonymousreply 96November 24, 2020 3:02 PM

May you be stuck in a nursing home with nothing but Golden Girls re-runs on TV!

by Anonymousreply 97November 24, 2020 3:06 PM

May you wake up, go to your kitchen, and find doctor Richard Crenna, attorney Patty Duke, nerdy kids Helen Hunt and Anthony Edwards and senile granny Billie Bird there, and be arrested for trespassing.

by Anonymousreply 98November 24, 2020 3:09 PM

May every box of candy you open have doody balls in it!

by Anonymousreply 99November 24, 2020 3:14 PM

May you be watching I Want to Live and your power goes out right before Susan Hayward's climactic speech.

by Anonymousreply 100November 24, 2020 3:26 PM

May all your men be forever stolen by pint sized harlots!

by Anonymousreply 101November 26, 2020 12:57 AM

[quote] May every Golden Girls episode you watch be the Empty Nest pilot!

May every [italic]Empty Nest[/italic] episode you watch have Lisa Rieffel in it!

by Anonymousreply 102February 6, 2021 5:46 PM

May everytime you turn on Buzzr may they be showing Card Sharks!

by Anonymousreply 103February 6, 2021 11:44 PM

May you be trampled by a Mae West-impersonating Maytag man at a Mayday sale at Robinson's-May.

by Anonymousreply 104February 7, 2021 10:08 PM

May you be charged for a beverage when you only ordered a Ha-Ha dog!

by Anonymousreply 105February 7, 2021 10:12 PM

May a lesbian shit on your glass coffee table!

by Anonymousreply 106February 8, 2021 2:38 AM

May you be a target of cancel culture!

by Anonymousreply 107February 8, 2021 6:30 PM

May your next-door neighbor look suspiciously like a guy who was arrested for trying to molest wisecracking short black children at a New York City bicycle shop three years earlier.

by Anonymousreply 108February 14, 2021 3:40 PM

May McDonald's always get your order wrong!

by Anonymousreply 109February 14, 2021 8:54 PM
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