“Formerly Gay” Texas Lawyer Tweets He’s Going to Philly (Yes, the pic is really him!)

Creepy. He needs to stay in the closet forever.

I'm not on Twitter - what are they saying about him?

Isn’t that what we call bisexuality (outside the Confederacy)?

They're making fun of his hat, R2.

It's only gay, if you look down!

There is nothing in that twitter post to imply he is gay, unless I missed something, OP?

OP fucked up and didn’t link to the HS classmate’s tweet. Here it is:

You sure did, R6. Numerous times.

R7, if I linked to her account like I just did for the OP, no one would understand what it stems from. Besides, I didn’t want people to ONLY see her posts, but everyone else’s.

🤣🤣🤣 those tweets are too funny. The little man is getting dragged:

[quote] Somebody is in for a rude awakening. They really aren’t there city of brotherly love. They threw beer cans at Santa Clause for goodness sake.

Wow that's some tea!

They are dragging him thru the cowshit. Some of the best I've read in years. Funny as shit.

Guess he thought he was gay, until he got a taste of that PUSSAY!!!!!

5 kids later, God's work is done.

I can’t verify, but I have a feeling the kids are adopted.

His wife. Explains a lot.

PA Lieutenant Governor John Fetterman will be waiting to kick his gay ass back to Texas.

That link did not work correctly but you can just click on ol' Briscoe's profile pic to see what "Bergundi" looks like. Yellow hair.

Is he FTM?

He looks it, but not according to his HS friend.

He was a male cheerleader (not that there’s anything wrong with that!).

Read those tweets. I love this gif someone posted. 🤣🤣🤣

R13, Mary, you know damn well he's still chasing that dick on the low

Wifey might be a T-girl...? I mean those broad shoulders! And that kitchen sink dye-job! Gurl, please!

Some of the gifs are far better than the comments, r20.

That’s why we need gifs back here in Datalounge.

His conversation with PA Lieutenant Governor John Fetterman be like

[quote]R15 His wife. Explains a lot.

Her name is Burgundi. Or Bacardi. Or something.

He sounds worthless. Giuliani will love him.

[quote]R18 Is he FTM?

I say this with love... but he resembles what Jodie Foster might look like if she transitioned (?)

Good lord. He married his FAG HAG!!! What a cliche. Poor girl. She has no self-esteem and feels like no man will ever want her sexually, so she settled for a busted and bloated Frodo Baggins (who's more interested in getting fingered at cheer camp than fulfilling his "biblical duties" by going to pound town with his sexy beast of a wife!)

His wife's name is BERGUNDI. I can't.

She has quite the story

My favorite comment:

[quote]Can we start referring to him as Lindsey Jr.?

Snort.

Is the “wife” a biological woman?

Fun fact: His opponent for his 2016 legislative race already exposed him in an anti-gay flier. Scroll through the pics for your daily "oh, queen...." reaction.

Voted one of Texas' worst legislators in 2017.

[quote]We typically exempt freshmen from the Worst list. We usually forgive their transgressions, because they don’t know how the Legislature works. So just know that we tried. We tried really hard to give Briscoe Cain a pass. But he left us little choice. When we asked Capitol insiders for Worst list suggestions, his name, almost universally, was the first one mentioned. During one floor debate, when a fellow legislator fell ill with a serious intestinal ailment, Cain objected to the usual procedure of granting the lawmaker an excused absence and called for a record vote. He was the only no vote. But one particular moment, during the budget debate on the House floor, best exemplifies Cain’s uninformed and belligerent performance this session. He offered an amendment to defund a state council that promotes palliative care. He called it a “death panel.” Under questioning from his colleagues, it became clear that Cain didn’t know that palliative care is the treatment of terminally ill people for pain and anxiety to ease their passing. He eventually withdrew his amendment, but not before he’d very nearly zeroed out funding for a good program without actually knowing what it does. Thankfully his colleagues saved him from himself in that instance. Unfortunately, there was no one to save the rest of us from Briscoe Cain.

Ouch!

Looks like Miss Thing was your typical HS class bitch.

Some incels make it, some don't.

Why is the little lady’s right tit hanging three inches below the left?

Honestly, fuck his parents for fucking this man up in the head. He's a product of intensive gay conversion therapy (allegedly). And it says a LOT that he replied back to certain tweets throughout today as some smartass retorts, but didn't acknowledge the tweets from his classmate that garnered the most attention. At least deflect a little to keep up the illusion for your fans, Briscow.

He’s probably heading to Philly to get some dick on the side. I wonder what he pays for it...

I don’t like Men’s no more! Soft lines! Soft lines!

Cute as a button. It's Friday night and the little man has my ass twitching.

He's on the spectrum according to wiki and has trouble making eye contact. He sounds like quite a package. Sad about the 'rents sending him to gay camp. Sadly, he looks gayer than a basket of puppies no matter how many kids he has.

BTW, the glasses look even dumber than the hat.

[quote]He was on the cheer team taking water breaks to give blowies and do lines in the bathroom

Elijah Wouldn't

That airport pic, talk about straight drag!

I knew that missy reminded me of someone:

I like the photo in R34 (in the homophobic opponent's brochure) of him getting up close and personal with a statue of Hercules. Come back to the light, Briscoe Cain!

This is all a publicity stunt.

This little lady isn’t going to suddenly roll into Pennsylvania and be able to do anything with her Texas law degree

Fetterman and Shapiro should greet him politely with a tray of Philly Cheesesteaks and their Chamber of Commerce gay-friendly businesses.

His names is Briscoe, his wife's name is Bergundi.

Somebody is making up this shit.

Thanks for the laughs my brothers. Loving how you stick it to this hateful, in denial pocket gay.

Looking at the face, I’m unsure of the dick. I’m picturing a very unique tip, maybe flared at the base....

The Adventures of Briscoe Cain, Jr.

Is that his mom at R25?

I hope Briscoe made it to PHL. One of the tweets:

[quote] Live shot of this child in the courtroom:

Am I the only one that it took 5 minutes to figure out her name is a misspelling of Burgundy? I kept thinking - Burundi? Did her parents have a thing for Africa?

This is just another example - some of the most evil politicians we have are closeted gays. It fucks with your head - all of that self-hate.

It's really sad to see.

Shut up, little man!

This is typical in Texas. I don't why these guys all decide at the end of the day to run to women. Make navigating the hookup apps even more frustrating

[quote]R59 I don't why these guys all decide at the end of the day to run to women.

I think, given where they live, their conservative families, their rigid Christian faith, etc. they think, “If only I were straight, if only I were NORMAL, I’d be happy.”

But that’s like people daydreaming, “If only I were RICH everything would be GREAT!” There are many miserable people who are rich.

R60 - I take miserable rich over miserable poor any day of the week.

Here's the thing - people act like he grew up in some rural part of Texas. I looked up Deer Park - it's a fucking suburb of Houston. 20 mins from downtown Houston. And he's 35 - the past 10 years have been the most progressive years for anyone being gay in the country.

I haven't been to Houston as an adult, but I can't believe it's all this conservative wasteland and still so behind the times.

Maybe after Philly, Briscoe can bring his Crisco to Frisco.

Eew, he looks like a FTM.

There's really good dick in Philly. Don't give him any.

He's 35? He still looks about 15. That doesn't bode well: in 5-10 years his face is going to collapse all at once.

[quote]This little lady isn’t going to suddenly roll into Pennsylvania and be able to do anything with her Texas law degree

The proceedings will be in federal court, for the most part. He will probably be admitted [italic]pro hac vice[/italic]* without any problem.

* for this occasion only

[quote]Fetterman and Shapiro should greet him politely with a tray of Philly Cheesesteaks and their Chamber of Commerce gay-friendly businesses.

Mike Pence and the Senatrice will welcome him with open arms.

Those glasses are really groovey!

Has he arrived yet and gotten swept up in the dancin in the streets releasing his inner repressed gay and getting gang banged at Woodys in the bathroom?

[quote] and getting gang banged at Woodys in the bathroom?

Um, where’s the Woody’s of which you speak?

R70.

He threaten Beto.

Please, you know he's had furious masturbatory fantasies of choking on 6'5" Beto's hog. Those El Paso boys are nasty in bed and it's alluring to quaint conservative Houstonian suburbanite queen Briscow.

Very "Constant Craving" era K.D. Lang look in R72...

Someone needs to sic Brian Sims on him.

Brian will set him straight, so to speak.

Whomever decided to name that girl "Burgundi" should be slapped. Repeatedly.

From Twitter:

"I'm glad you told us you were a Texas lawyer. I thought you might be a Cabbage Patch Kid."

Now that’s he’s been in PA for a while, has he gotten anything done or is he still stuck in the sling at that meth party?

R79 There better be disco lights! Without them it’s not the full experience! Has be been vlogging, snap chatting or live IG his trip?

He's like a less-fat Patrick McHenry, but just as closeted.

Those glasses were hideous in the late 1970s & early 1980s, and they're hideous now.

Lol, just to make sure we know how homophobic he is, they ate Chick-Fil-A

They didn’t eat it all did they?

Briscoe Cain? Wasn't that a show with Bruce Campbell?

I couldn’t help myself and just posted the Drag Queen Chick-Fil-A song to his Twitter with a snarky comment.

I'll bet he knows where every gloryhole in Texas is.

How will we keep him down on the farm after he’s seen Gay Philly?

R83 note the Black Voices for Trump sign and not a single black person around

I'm very concerned that he and his busy fellow investigator aren't wearing masks in R83's link.

He's hoping the "Black voices for Trump" will score him some black dick

Lindsey, step aside! There's a new a new candidate for the role of Datalounge's Favorite Southern Belle

He looks great in this picture

He looks like a ventriloquist dummy

His gayness triggers gaydar monitoring satellites orbiting Neptune.

I mean, bitch please.

He has already pre-filed bills for the 87th session of the state legislature.

[quote]Rep. Briscoe Cain of Deer Park introduced several measures to prevent undocumented people from voting, including a bill that would require the Secretary of State to check twice a year for noncitizens who have been improperly allowed to register.

You know, because it just isn't hard enough yet to vote in Texas.

A while back, our Indicted Attorney General made an unsubstantiated claim about >50,000 undocumented people being found on the voting rolls. That got the bigots all hot and bothered. Now Cain will capitalize on a presumably non-existent or minimal problem with changes that will discourage people from voting. It's the Republican Way.

She posted a pic of Briscoe's cheerleading days!!!

“But, I’m a Cheerleader!”

He's off to question Account Manager Dan

R97 Any pictures of his quarterback boyfriend?

We pile on him ,rightfully so ,but what about that woman ? How fucking self delusional is she ?

R101 Did he meet her at conversion camp?

The HS classmates brought the receipts

r97 Was he a bottom?

(I mean on the cheerleading pyramid, of course! Get your minds out of the gutter!)

Which one went up inside the other?

He was a cute kid. Shame they destroyed him and "turned him straight."

R100, I want to see more pics of the dude at r99!

R107 He's a new employee and only showed up in their IG last month.

"Lol, just to make sure we know how homophobic he is, they ate Chick-Fil-A"

Yes, but they didn't swallow

He can come to my conversion camp next summer. The taste of my cock in his mouth will bring him back to his senses.

Formerly gay = currently gay

How’s the self proclaimed Texas constitutional law nerd doing?

Ant Philly guys seen Bristol trolling for hookups on Grindr or Scruff? Report back please.

Can we get Brian Sims to seduce and expose him ruining his political career? I’m sure Briscoe would be all over a big furry bear approaching him and making a move. Briscoe’s cowboy boats would be up in the air so quickly Brian would get whiplash. Brian, even if you a bottom we’ll need you to take one for the team this time buddy, because we know Briscoe’s a big old bottom. All his kids have most likely been IVF.

Well? Did she go to Philly and single-handedly steal the election for her Leader?

[quote]Ant Philly guys seen Bristol trolling for hookups on Grindr or Scruff?

Let's not bring the Palins into this.

R116 Damn, I even went back and corrected the autocorrect once because it did that, I guess it flipped again, lol.

R114, Brian's on twitter - send him a message!

R118 It looks like spellcheck got you too, Briscoe is just not an acceptable spelling, lol.

[quote] Formerly gay = currently gay

Hence the quotation marks.

Here's what I can't figure out:

You are an "ex-gay" but you must know that if you try and run for public office you will not be able to hide the fact that you were once an out and proud gay man... because The Internet.

I mean this isn't like Lady G where everything happens behind closed plantation shutters.

And you don't need to be Freud to realize that he wants to be exposed and shamed, wants people to know, thinks he somehow deserves to be dragged.

I know it’s wrong but he’s kind of cute and I’d fuck his ass.

He’s part of a group called The Texas Freedom Caucus and he welcomed a newly elected member into the group. Here’s their platform. He was rated as one of the worst politicians his freshman year despite the fact that they usually don’t rate them the first year, but so many were complaining about him they added him to the list.

Oh Christ, he and the family went as Star Wars for Halloween and he was Darth Vader, the wife was Princess Leia and the baby Baby Yoda! Pity that poor kid who had to be R2D2, looks like they gave him a light saber to appease him.

Well this is surprising, he defended by saying “Yes. Actually.” the father son hug/kiss Biden Hunter photo when someone tried to smear it asking if it was an appropriate father son interaction.

Well, he’s back home in Texas, I guess having giving up in Pennsylvania and Georgia. Now he practicing being a good little McCarthyite and taking names to hold them against people in the future.

He looks so bloody young! Has he even had his bar mitzvah yet?

Of course he’s back home. He had to return his clothes to the Build-A-Bear workshop.

If you’re late, they charge an extra day.

So, basically his visit to PA really was just sex tourism

Adorbs

Shhhh, r129.

Don’t let his wife hear you.

R130...my god. That suit. It looks a "hide the gynecomastia" suit.