Are you gonna celebrate the holidays this year??

Alas, no, OP.

I’m very disappointed too. Not having people for thanksgiving and not getting together with my family is going to suck. My mother LOVES Christmas but we can’t go to see her for fear of the unknown.

NO! This year, the last of my local relatives died and I no longer feel duty bound to carry on holiday traditions for the sake of sentimental old folks. The pandemic is a great excuse to decline invitations and avoid gift exchanges -- cards only as necessary to respond to those received (fewer each year). No shopping, cooking, wrapping (I have a lot of paper, ribbons, bags, and tissue to donate to some worthy charity that serves needy children). I can't wait to stay home and watch recorded non-holiday movies ALL BY MYSELF!

Me, boyfriend, his Mum - having ourselves a merry little Christmas.

I've never cared that much about Christmas, so it won't really impact me. My partner and I have never exchanged gifts or any of that.

Nah. No big deal to me. I'll have a big stash of all my favorite snacks and I'll watch movies and take naps. I told my relatives I won't be there, and I'm totally thrilled to have no obligations.

I'm sorry, R1 -- I do realize that this year must be hard for people who truly enjoy the traditional celebrations. But for those of us who have felt trapped and burdened much of our lives (over 60 years in my case), this is a genuine blessing. Starting with Thanksgiving!

I’ll still get together with people, but I’m dialing back on the gifts and shopping, and doing minimal decorating this year.

For the first time in my 54 years I won’t be seeing my family over Christmas and that makes me sad. However, I haven’t put up a tree or decorated in seven years so plan to full on deck the halls at my house this year. I have the time to do it and enjoy it so am looking forward to it.

No plans for Thanksgiving but if there is any skiing within a 3 hour drive may do that. If not, will play 36 holes of golf.

Im gonna flash my canned goods

No thanksgiving. Hopefully a short Christmas brunch with immediate family.

I'll survive somehow.

Except you didn’t.

I a single gay male had been hosting Christmas and Thanksgiving celebrations for many years because I was centrally located and had the most room but after my mother died, I did it one more time and then decided never again. It was the best decision I ever made, too much work and expense for relatives I really didn't care about. So no never again.

The holidays are just an excuse to spend money.

Even before Covid, I stopped putting pressure on myself to "celebrate" the holidays. It's liberating.

If you really feel something is missing, I would suggest a wreath.

I’m gonna play with myself instead.

Yes to decorating. I went over the top for Halloween and will go above that for Christmas. It’s for my enjoyment.

For the first time in years I’m putting a tree up; in fact, it’s already up!

For Halloween, around my fireplace, I’m working on a diorama for my Monster High dolls. The first item going into the fireplace itself (which is clean and painted) is my monster disco stage. Then I’ll get to my lounge area and piano bar.

I'm a hospital nurse, and for the last 10 years I've gotten so sick of Christmas that I've worked that day to get out of the whole taacky commercialized dysfunctional shit. Am carrying on.

Sadly, I don't see how I can celebrate thanksgiving, a holiday that's usually devoted to feasting with good frieinds and being genuinely thankful for everything good in the world. I have patients with COVID, I just can't join gatherings while I do, so I guess it'll be nature trails and Thai takeout and trying to still be genuinely grateful. Although I think most of us have a bit less to be thankful for than last year.

R19, maybe by Thanksgiving we'll have election results to be thankful for. Hang in there!

Every Gift, Only GAP!

R19,

A) Thank you from the bottom of my heart;

B) I’m very sorry. I can’t change your circumstances and I didn’t cause them, I’m just sorry for them.

R17, r18, Good for you guys!

Seriously. I sincerely hope you enjoy it.

[quote] I’m gonna play with myself instead.

What game are you going to play?

SOLITAIRE ROSE!

There is nothing for me or anyone in the USA to celebrate this year

If the election goes well, I will celebrate Christmas and put up a tree. 2020 has been a miserable year, with very little (if anything) to celebrate. But there may be hope for 2021. Fingers crossed!

Maybe there will be, R26. Nov 3 is a week from this coming Tues -- and as for the Supreme Court, Amy C. Barrett may not fully recover from Covid (many don't).

I live alone. I usually have Thanksgiving dinner with one of my friends. I have one invitation so far and I declined. I'm only seeing friends in outdoor settings. I fly to California to see my mom for Christmas and New Year's. That won't happen this year. The plan is to make a mini-Thanksgiving meal for myself. I'm looking forward to cooking and making a mess. I'll be okay for Thanksgiving but not going to California is a bummer. I'm anticipating being a little blue that final week of 2020.

I'm thinking I may just get a really nice poinsettia plant or two. Maybe a garland of lights on the mantle.But no tree this year. I have a nice little artificial tree and that will stay in storage. No one is visiting this year. No point. The basic plants etc. are for me.

I’ve finished my Xmas shopping already, including the wrapping. That’s the part I really enjoy.

Show off!

Thank you, R22!

I must say that although I'm not happy with how my holidays are going, it is almost entirely through my own choice. I've agreed to take the COVID patients, and I am voluntarily avoiding gatherings and frail loved ones, they haven't asked me to stay away.

LOL @ r25

R33, at the risk of sounding like a Hallmark TV movie, you're showing the true spirit of Christmas by sacrificing to help others. I hope you know how much the patients and their loved ones appreciate your efforts -- so true that virtue is its own reward, isn't it? I hope you and the other medical workers get some great Xmas cookies too.

OP did you put up the tree when you were a baby? Are your parents monsters?

I’m going to get a small tree at Whole Foods as I did last year. It was perfect for the table.

I’m going to do some cooking and otherwise relax and watch A Christmas Carol.

First tree ever...maybe this year. Recommendation for a cat-proof tree? I'm thinking of one that hangs from the ceiling.

All I feel when I think about the holidays is dread. Even shopping online doesn't seem fun right now.

This is my favorite Gap holidays commercial, r21 -- Holiday in Your Hood.

I’m with you, r39. I really am.

Absolutely not. No interest whatsoever.

My mom has already declared we're not having a family Thanksgiving or Christmas -- thank goodness. None of my siblings or their children have altered their lives on iota in response to the pandemic.

I typically put up my tree and decorations the second or third week of December but I'm planning to do it Thanksgiving weekend this year. No one's going to see it but me but it will brighten the days.

If you post pics, r43, we’ll all see it.

I know I could use it.

I plan to scale way back on Xmas decorating; no guests to see it, so why bother? We'll probably still put up a tree, because I genuinely enjoy that.

No idea what to do about Thanksgiving. We usually host my Mom plus one or two other relatives. We might just have my mother over, or take food to her house. I'd rather not do anything, but I'm afraid that if I don't, she'll go to her brother's house and he'll have a ton of people there.

R38, if you have a chandelier, hang the ornaments off that. I have a big chandelier and I think that’s what I’m going to have to do.

Last year, I had a kitten and it was impossible to have a tree. I took out some fake garland and she thought it was a real tree branch and started gnawing on it. I was afraid she’d hurt her mouth, so no fake tree. I ended up getting a real wreath and hung it near the floor on a stand, so she could smell it and chew on it a bit.

This year, she’s a little bit bigger, and I have a fake blue tree, so hopefully if I put that up, she’ll understand it’s not a real tree. I prefer the green, but I don’t know what would happen. I thought last year, even if I can just have a fake green tree with lights only, it would be pretty, but she just didn’t understand not to try to eat it.

I’d really like to do all the decorations, including a lot of fragile glass ornaments, so I guess they go on the chandelier. I also put some on the shelves in the hutch, she doesn’t care about that, thank god.

[quote] if you have a chandelier, hang the ornaments off that.

That’s just going to get in the way when I’m swinging from it in the bedroom.

Then for you, R47, there’s always decorating the mantle.

If I can continue to avoid “holidays” I will gladly do so. The only benefit of this year has been the lack of forced get togethers.

Yes with the people in my bubble. We will get together for Thanksgiving and Christmas. Everyone is still working from home and most of our families are in distant places. There will just before of us. It should be nice. Frankly they should be very little stress related to it

We’ll definitely have a tree, but we bought electric scooters as an early gift to each other so that’s it for presents.

The celebration will just be us and my 81 year old mother, most likely. We live in NYC and have all been inside away from others since March, apart from visiting one another and unavoidable trips to the supermarket or doctor. A little sad and definitely strange. Hopefully next year will be much better.

Our large family celebration (40+ people) was cancelled. My sister invited me over for a small brunch (her kids & their families) but I'm not sure if I'll go. I'll still decorate my place a little bit, though, even though it's just me.

She also invited me over for Thanksgiving, but unless we can meet at a park or something, I'll probably pass on that.

Anyone planning to zoom with when and about?

I have only had a Christmas tree once in adulthood, sometime in the early '90s. I so hated cleaning up after it—those damned needles lay underfoot for months—I said "never again," and stuck to it. I had these Magneplanar speakers, and decorated them with blue lights until I bought more standard speakers.

I'm having Thanksgiving with friends at a restaurant, as we have been doing the last three or four years. I don't plan to do anything for Christmas. Maybe I'll make some kind of pasta alla bolognese.

I have a feeling that Zoom, and similar programs, are going to crash on Christmas. Too many people will be setting up for family events.

As every year. Have dinner then go to sleep.

Celebrating with my husband at home. Looking forward to it. This year has been awful.

[quote] but we bought electric scooters as an early gift to each other

You kids and your euphemisms. In my day we just called them dildos.

I associate Zoom with work. Endless, endless Zoom meetings this year. It's the last thing I want to do on my off days.

"Recommendation for a cat-proof tree? "

Hang your ornaments on a wreath. One that's way high on the wall.

I don’t have any tears left to cry.

I honestly do not know what we are doing. If things continue down the current path - I am reluctant to expose my parents. I may go for a social distancing visit only to exchange gifts only. My husband and I both work a lot of hours with lots of potential for exposure. We will celebrate together.

Hugs to R61.

I look at it a different way. I’m just watching the universe trying to destroy life on earth in a limited space of time with wonder. How many more disastrous things can happen in one year?

Flying Star Feng Shui is a sort of Chinese astrology, in a way. They predicted for 2020 that health issues would be a big concern, and that there would be some really drastic events that would change things. And here we are. Chinese New Year is on February 12, 2021.

Chinese New Year in 2020 was January 25. The first known U.S. Covid case was January 20, 2020.

Hang in there just a little bit longer.

I fully expect the rapture to happen soon.

Nope. I'm without family and really don't know anyone where I live that I'm close enough with to share holidays.

[quote] My husband and I both work a lot of hours with lots of potential for exposure.

I’ve said this before, but it bears repeating:

We miss each other now so when we can get back together no one is missing.

So, R63, what does Super Duper Feng Shui say about 2021?

I'm hanging lights on my porch and inside on my mantle. That's about it.

NO. I WILL JUST WANK OFF IN THE DARK. ALONE. BOTH HOLIDAYS.

For R67:

The year of the Metal Ox, 2021 will be a time for emotional and spiritual as well as economical reconstruction. In other words, the destruction caused by the flu in 2020, various conflicts, misunderstandings, as well as the general economic crisis will be the starting point for a new vision regarding the development and technological evolution of the world economy based on new, more viable criteria.

In the Chinese zodiac, among the 12 zodiac symbols, Ox is the second, after Rat (2020 was the Rat). That is why it is considered by Chinese astrologers as the owner of the year of reconstruction, after starting a new 12-year cycle.

Something to look forward to, R70!

No. My husband died two weeks ago and the pandemic keeps people away. My only celebration is streaming hipster holiday tunes on internet radio

Just have a virtual get together over the internet. You will be glad when you can turn off your annoying relatives.

Absolutely. By myself, but I'm definitely doing it. Tree, and all.

Sorry r72. We're stopping by virtually.

I'll probably buy a small xmas tree and some simple decorations. It's too depressing not too.

Yes we are celebrating. I'll be making Beet Wellington for friends and family, serving fabulous wine that I've set aside for the holidays and having some fun karaoke sessions. I look forward to hosting the holidays all year long.

[quote]the destruction caused by the flu in 2020

The flu? Are you referring to the The Chinese Flu aka The WuFlu?

Absolutely. The only thing to look forward to this year. Switching over to Christmas music Sunday at midnight. Will have Christmas Vacation, Elf and Home Alone on repeat. Decking the halls. No family drama, especially with immediate family which is all I will be seeing this year.

Bitch, if you're going to condemn us to suffer and die drowning in sludgy lung fluids, you'd better serve something better than Beet Wellington!

[quote]Switching over to Christmas music Sunday at midnight

[italic]This[/italic] Sunday? November 1st? Slow your roll there, Hallmark Channel. Let’s not get carried away. Life isn’t a Macy’s commercial.

R77, that sounds lovely! It sounds vegan! If so, would you consider bringing it to the Solstice celebration on the land? That is, of course, if you're a wummin.

R81, there have been people celebrating Christmas since March to battle the depression of Covid and sheltering in place. November 1st is nothing to gawk at. Johnny Mathis will pacify me until New Years.

full on deck the halls at my house this year. I have the time to do it and enjoy it so am looking forward to it.

Another vote for Decking the Halls to the max - and why not? I already have lights and I'm home all the time. Plus, I think Christmas lights - no matter how you feel about Christmas - brings cheer to a dark time, literally & figuratively.

I plan to get small gifts purchased from local stores (I'd like to buy books from a bookstore rather than Amazon, but there *are*no book stores anymore where I live) for immediate family and give money to churches & soup kitchens.

Despite my apprehension, I fully expect that we will be celebrating the holidays with a new president elect & that will at least bring some hope

[quote][R81], there have been people celebrating Christmas since March to battle the depression of Covid and sheltering in place

What? WTF are you talking about? Anyone who started celebrating Christmas last March has a screw loose.

Isn't a little too early for putting up a Christmas 🎄?

Anyone who started celebrating Christmas last March has a screw loose.

I'll be the Christmas Mouse would fully endorse celebrating Christmas all year around....

Normally I'd say that anyone who celebrates Christmas before Thanksgiving has a whole case of screws loose, but not this year. Too many people have been through too much bad this this year, if they can find ways of coping that don't involve substance abuse or rioting then good for them.

Only with my parents. We have some Trump supporters in the family. It's caused fights. We've had a pleasant family texting group that was active and rather nice. After the first debate when Trump showed his ass, words were said and feelings were hurt. Now communication has broken down based on party affiliation. I'm not even talking to my brother and sister in law. I said some things and I'd do it again, fuck them.

So no big family gatherings for our family OP. Everyone's retreated to their corners and pulled up the draw bridges. I can live with or without my family so I am just fine with holding out for them to stop supporting racism, homophobia, and clasism.

I can't wait to celebrate the defeat of: the Straw-topped Turkey Vulture at Thanksgiving; the Sharting Golem at Chanukah; and the Orange Grinch for Christmas! Some of us will be alone, but you can't stay still while the world is dancing.

Happy Holidays ahead. Count Your Blessings and Carry On.

[quote] This Sunday? November 1st? Slow your roll there, Hallmark Channel. Let’s not get carried away. Life isn’t a Macy’s commercial.

😂😂😂😂😂

I wonder what will happen with mall Santas? Will there be any? If so, will parents take their kids?

Will be going to my brother and SIL's house for the holidays, they live close so I can walk there and back home easily. Have to remember to bring my backpack for some leftovers.

No decorations for me, just can't get into it.

R77 does Beet Wellington go well with Tofurkey?

r92 Macy's cancelled theirs

I care nothing for celebrating Christmas, but I love the decorations — so this year, too, I will put up my tree, special Christmas pillows, and simply make it as cozy as one can bear. It‘s lovely.

R85, there were lots of stories of people putting their Christmas, excuse me, holiday decorations back up when the quarantine began to lift their spirits.

I seem to recall being told that only idiots mention astrology. I guess those trolls not on this thread? Or somehow Chinese astrology is more acceptable because your asses are ignorant about it?

Way to be douches.

Beet Wellington! Just shoot yourself.

Every year, I try to add a song or two to my Christmas playlist. I used to hate Christmas music, but a musician friend said he loves it, that he wished it were played all year-round. So, I reevaluated my feelings and download whatever I like. It's very cheerful and festive.

No, but I didn't like (or celebrate) them before either.

[quote] I plan to get small gifts purchased from local stores (I'd like to buy books from a bookstore rather than Amazon, but there *are*no book stores anymore where I live) for immediate family and give money to churches & soup kitchens.

R84, if you start early enough, you can order from independent bookstores anywhere. At the link is a site listing some in every state -- it may not be current and it's not exhaustive*, but it's a start. We don't have to accept Amazon by default!

*For example, it doesn't include the excellent children's bookstore in San Jose, Calif called "Hicklebee's", which also carries some books for all ages and is happy to handle special orders for whatever it doesn't have.

[quote]Only with my parents. We have some Trump supporters in the family. It's caused fights. We've had a pleasant family texting group that was active and rather nice. After the first debate when Trump showed his ass, words were said and feelings were hurt. Now communication has broken down based on party affiliation. I'm not even talking to my brother and sister in law. I said some things and I'd do it again, fuck them.

R89, we have a rule in our family that when we get together, it's a NO POLITICS zone. We have Democrats, we have Republicans, we have Libertarians, so everybody has agreed to not discuss politics when we get together for holidays and such.

R97, I’m the Chinese astrology poster. I don’t believe in it generally, but a few years ago I had a roommate that bought a bunch of books about it so I read one or two.

A couple of years ago, it said for people with my birthdate to avoid having fights with family members and I could have legal problems and family problems. That year, months after I forgot about it, I had legal problems and family problems. I wasn’t trying to fight with anyone, they started something with me and I needed a lawyer to defend myself. I ended up going no contact with family members. I literally was actively avoiding family members, but they dragged me in anyway.

Now I’m afraid to look.

I looked into it after reading your other post, R103. I'm an Ox and 2021 is the year of the OX as well. Not good news for me.

What about boars, R104 and R103?

I think you will have a good year, R105.

R105, usually when it’s the year of your animal, it’s not a good year. This is the year of my animal, and it’s been shit. Next year is supposed to be better, for me and also in general.

Thanks, R106 -- I could sure use one! So could everyone else, I know, and I hope they do (except for Trump).

[R84], if you start early enough, you can order from independent bookstores anywhere. At the link is a site listing some in every state -- it may not be current and it's not exhaustive*, but it's a start. We don't have to accept Amazon by default!

Thanks R101; I will definitely do that!

I have big balls:

The best we can. I don’t know how Thanksgiving is going to go but maybe the third wave will have gone down by Christmas. Please guide

^God 🤣

My husband and I have been recognized in our city for many years as the people with "that house"... the big, red mansion always spectacularly decorated with a meticulously planned and executed display of lights and a colossal, natural tree in the windows, a breathtaking showcase that stops most traffic and passersby. But not this year.

My husband's mom (who was as much a "real" mom to me as well) died tragically after a year ago after a long illness, and so he and I didn't celebrate the holidays last year, either. It was the first year we completely didn't acknowledge any of it. And with the pandemic having wrecked our finances this year, it seems a waste of money to pay that kind of electricity bill for now. So, I won't be putting up a tree or anything else, but I'll be traveling for the first time since last February. Going hiking in the Peruvian Andes.

R113, I was going to tease you and say you’re not-so-humble bragging, but your story just broke my heart so I can’t even tease.

Jeez, you’re ruining it for everyone now.

R110, call me Mary! all you want, but I love that pillow.

Oh, and nice balls.

I’m not putting up a tree this year. My friends have social distanced from me so fuck it.

For you r115:

Oops. Here’s the link:

beet wellington? You really mean beet, or was a typo?

Thank you, r118!

That’s a great selection. Out of deference to you, I won’t buy the same one as yours. You know, it’s like us wearing the same dress to a soirée.

[quote] I’m not putting up a tree this year. My friends have social distanced from me so fuck it.

Your friends are probably social distancing from everybody, so hope you don't feel so bad.

Yeah, R116 -- the pandemic ain't all about you, you know.

Fuck 'em all. I've had enough with the Dump supporters in my life. 2019 & 2018 were enough. I've heard the conspiracy theories for 2 years now. If these people think I'm holding another holiday for them to spout that bullshit they're way too wrong.

As you wish, r120!

My husband and I have been recognized in our city for many years as the people with "that house"... the big, red mansion always spectacularly decorated with a meticulously planned and executed display of lights and a colossal, natural tree in the windows, a breathtaking showcase that stops most traffic and passersby. But not this year.

That's sad R113, I'll bet your house brings a lot of joy to people in your community. I get the electric bill thing - but my hometown has homes your like yours & I love seeing their decorations every year.

Visit with my parents.

Dinner with friend out, maybe.

Gratitude list entry, 11/2/20: "I don't live anywhere near r125." The only thing that could be more annoying is if she has music accompanying her "meticulously planned and executed display of lights."

I've lived alone for 15 years, and I've never put up a Christmas tree or Christmas decorations. I've always thought it was a waste of money and time.

And now, with COVID, I have a perfect excuse to not only continue my tradition of non-decoration, but to avoid going home to my family over the holidays, too. "Oh, so sorry. Not this year. Don't wanna fly and risk getting any of you sick when I get there. Merry Christmas! Air kisses!"

R113, you can still do a lot of nice decorating without the electricity.

A few years back, my dad was admitted to the hospital shortly after thanksgiving. He was in a coma all through December and died the day after Christmas. You can imagine how awful the holiday season was. I would go to the hospice a few hours each day, although he probably didn’t know I was there, then go home. My other family wouldn’t go, so I went alone. I’m the one that does the decorating.

After a couple of weeks of this, I ended up pulling out the decorations and doing the fake tree. I didn’t do everything, but I did enough so the house was pretty. That was something I could do and it made me feel better. It separated the bad things going on outside for the refuge of home.

Since then I’ve had a couple of other stressful, bad Christmases, and I put up the tree and decorated. Decorating is free, it’s one thing we can do that doesn’t require having a bunch of company, that’s for ourselves. If your usual decorations are all lights, this year try something simpler. Put a wreath on the door, put the lawn decorations out. We’ve got nothing going for us now but our grit and determination to get through this as best we can. And grit is free.

Also, LED lights are much more economical. You can get cheap ones at Big Lots or Target. Big Lots has been my family’s “poor Christmas” friend since I was a kid. I’ve gotten a lot of nice Christmas things there over the years. At least get a couple LED strings for the tree, it doesn’t take a lot. If you put the tree in the front window, people can see it.

R129, are you married?

Yes! Thanksgiving, Christmas and New Years! Just at home instead of with my parents and at my favorite club.

I am, come hell or high water. Last year I had some mental health issues & we threw in the towel on a lot of our traditions. One tradition I've followed since I was a kid is decorating for Christmas on Black Friday. Have done that for 30+ years, but didn't get to it last year. Got very sick that day with a high fever & we ended up not decorating until the week before Christmas. It was not the best holiday season.

This year I told my partner we need to plan ahead and stick to our traditions. They make us so happy, & I know we need all the joy & fun we can get.

Yes to decorating - I want all the Christmas shit to stay up until this COVID crap is over. Or we can have a Halloween 2 or something.

We've got to double or triple up on these holidays to keep up the cheer. Just the decorations though - no people events.

[quote] Just at home instead of with my parents and at my favorite club.

Paddles?

OP, your post makes me sad. I hope you reconsider!

[quote] Just at home instead of with my parents and at my favorite club.

[quote]Paddles?

You know if he’s living with his parents it must be the bridge club he’s referring to. It’s a club for all three!

R84, at the link is a newish site where you can order books from shops around the country. It's apparently been so successful that it's now expanding into the United Kingdom.

This will be the first year in a few years that we HAVE put up a tree. Not much else to do, and first year in a new place, so yes....

[quote] It's apparently been so successful that it's now expanding into the United Kingdom.

I’m familiar. And Greece. And Italy. I’m expanding everywhere.

No tree. But four amaryllis, a few lights and some garland.

For those shunning family, you may want to rethink it. It could be the last holiday you spend together. They could die of Covid or you could. Who knows what shape this country will be in this time next year. The Second Civil War maybe.

I live nowhere near any relatives, I'm single these past two years, my friends spend the holidays with their parents (usually). I spent last Christmas alone (though not Thanksgiving). I still put up a tree and decorations, even though no one saw them, I probably will again. Anyone else in the same boat?

[quote] For those shunning family, you may want to rethink it. It could be the last holiday you spend together. They could die of Covid or you could. Who knows what shape this country will be in this time next year. The Second Civil War maybe.

It's not "shunning" family. Yes, it could be the last holiday together. But you don't want somebody giving Grandma coronavirus at this party. For sure, then, it will be your last holiday with Grandma.

"shunning family" - tsk

R130, no. It was my siblings that refused to go to hospice with me. And I had a roommate then, who was a narcissist and refused to do anything to make the holiday better, knowing I was having an incredibly bad time of it.

I had to fight with my dad’s doctors to pull the life support, and they refused to listen to me. It was so bad, several of the nurses whispered behind the doctor’s back that the hospital was just trying to run up a big Bill, and they told me the truth, that he was dying. The doctor refused to tell me his prognosis. He kept pushing the idea he was going to recover when it was obvious he wasn’t. The hospital had been trying to get me to put him on a permanent feeding tube after he had multiple organ failure and was in a coma, because once the permanent feeding tube is in, it’s very hard to get it taken out. They were told he didn’t want that, so they lied and said he would recover. He was dying. He had a living will done by an attorney. The doctor refused to read it.

They just lied and refused to honor it until I put my foot down, with no accurate information, just guessing. I didn’t really understand what was going on until I got to the hospice, and I had to sign him out not really knowing, except the hospice lady accepted him, which meant she understood him to be dying. At the hospice, the nurses immediately told me he’d been dying for weeks.

And his older family thought I was doing the wrong thing and they were really angry, so I was getting it from all sides. They accused me of quitting too soon. They had nothing to do with it before then. I felt like my whole family hated me, so I was trying to cheer myself up. He died the day after Christmas, and then I had to immediately make his funeral arrangements.

Not everyone decorates because they’re a married frau baking cookies with all their many crotchfruit, if that’s what you’re implying.