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Let's be The DL House of Horrors!👻🎃

I'm the pasta being drained!😱

by Anonymousreply 176October 31, 2020 5:07 AM

I'm Cheryl. My pussy stinks.

by Anonymousreply 1October 23, 2020 11:28 PM

I’m the gargoyle neighbor

by Anonymousreply 2October 23, 2020 11:49 PM

We are the masks that are thrown on the ground.

by Anonymousreply 3October 23, 2020 11:52 PM

I'm tinymeat, the most tragic disease known to man

by Anonymousreply 4October 23, 2020 11:54 PM

*kisses doll*

by Anonymousreply 5October 23, 2020 11:54 PM

I'm the bad spelling and grammar the would of gone unnoticed if its wasn't for the "Eau Deer" troll.

by Anonymousreply 6October 23, 2020 11:56 PM

I'm the wall of porcelain dolls whose eyes follow you around the room.

by Anonymousreply 7October 23, 2020 11:58 PM

I’m foreskin

Or lack of foreskin

Whichever you find more horrifying

by Anonymousreply 8October 24, 2020 12:03 AM

I'm the local Millennial Transtapo telling all women who enter how only "women with a penis" are truly women!

by Anonymousreply 9October 24, 2020 12:09 AM

I’m an ugly pair of women’s shoes with brown stains you find under a bed in your suite at The Bellagio.

by Anonymousreply 10October 24, 2020 12:12 AM

I’m the jar of Duke’s mayo.

by Anonymousreply 11October 24, 2020 12:14 AM

I'm Once Around the Garden, NOT Fall Harvest!

by Anonymousreply 12October 24, 2020 12:22 AM

I'm Jackie. I am On Assistance. It is horrifying.

by Anonymousreply 13October 24, 2020 12:23 AM

I’m sixty but I look sixty!

by Anonymousreply 14October 24, 2020 12:30 AM

I'm the ghost of caftans past!

by Anonymousreply 15October 24, 2020 12:32 AM

I'm Joyce DeWitt's used tampon!

by Anonymousreply 16October 24, 2020 12:34 AM

I’m the Nextdoor soft butch sous chef squatting like a gargoyle whilst smoking a cigarette. Yes, I may be on the roof, but I’m not Bai Ling.

by Anonymousreply 17October 24, 2020 12:35 AM

I'm the steaming mugs of pumpkin spice latte, just waiting to be cradled.

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by Anonymousreply 18October 24, 2020 12:36 AM

I'm a mob of MAGA zombies!

by Anonymousreply 19October 24, 2020 12:36 AM

I’m a puny cocklet

by Anonymousreply 20October 24, 2020 12:39 AM

I'm Ginny from Billing, who's now YOUR SUPERVISOR!!

by Anonymousreply 21October 24, 2020 12:42 AM

I'm the owner's fine art collection.

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by Anonymousreply 22October 24, 2020 12:44 AM

I'm Nosferatu, also known as Rudy Giuliani

by Anonymousreply 23October 24, 2020 12:48 AM

I lived in DL's House of Horrors.

And then I died.

by Anonymousreply 24October 24, 2020 1:05 AM

I'm a wiglet.

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by Anonymousreply 25October 24, 2020 1:11 AM

I'm Joel the nephew.

by Anonymousreply 26October 24, 2020 1:14 AM

I might win re-election!

by Anonymousreply 27October 24, 2020 1:14 AM

r25, are you also ratty and Korean?

by Anonymousreply 28October 24, 2020 1:15 AM

R14, I’m sixty and I look SEVENTY!

🧟‍♂️

by Anonymousreply 29October 24, 2020 1:15 AM

I’m piles and piles of Golden Girls DVDs being thrown in the incinerator

by Anonymousreply 30October 24, 2020 1:21 AM

I suck on my father's toes.

by Anonymousreply 31October 24, 2020 1:22 AM

I'm the room with Southwestern decor! Which of you Tasteful Friends will dare to enter?

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by Anonymousreply 32October 24, 2020 1:22 AM

I'm Kevin Lanflisi's slam poetry

by Anonymousreply 33October 24, 2020 1:23 AM

R32, you scare easily.

Want to see something REALLY scary?

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by Anonymousreply 34October 24, 2020 1:31 AM

I am the DARK BROWN FECES!

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by Anonymousreply 35October 24, 2020 1:34 AM

Any Coney Barrett ends up on the Supreme Court, and makes a law that says all holidays must be celebrated as if they’re chapters of The Handmaid’s Tale.

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by Anonymousreply 36October 24, 2020 1:37 AM

We have to get through one more year of A Sociopath’s Christmas in Mordor.

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by Anonymousreply 37October 24, 2020 1:41 AM

I'm the non-communal shower room that offers people full privacy as they walk through it fully clothed.

by Anonymousreply 38October 24, 2020 3:19 AM

I'm the pics of boobies and vag that induce fainting and nausea.

by Anonymousreply 39October 24, 2020 4:06 AM

I'm the home bar between the living and dining rooms. Sit down and have a drink with me.

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by Anonymousreply 40October 24, 2020 4:34 AM

I killed my wife and small children, but I am quite ugly and out of shape.

by Anonymousreply 41October 24, 2020 5:32 AM

I'm the ghost of Denny and his rolling suitcase.

by Anonymousreply 42October 24, 2020 6:28 AM

I'm the haunting cries of "Corn! When did I eat corn?"

by Anonymousreply 43October 24, 2020 6:50 AM

I'm Seth MacFarlane chained up by John in the basement.

by Anonymousreply 44October 24, 2020 6:50 AM

I'm four more years - 1,463 days - of Trump.

by Anonymousreply 45October 24, 2020 6:52 AM

I'm the room full of trump obsessed posters, ready to smother you with their mediocre attempts at humour.

by Anonymousreply 46October 24, 2020 7:01 AM

I'm the fetid scat queen who keeps coming back.

by Anonymousreply 47October 24, 2020 8:08 AM

I’m the fat frau invasion.

by Anonymousreply 48October 24, 2020 8:43 AM

I'm the towel dance!

I'm Joel doing the towel dance!

Dagnabit, can't see ANYTHING!

by Anonymousreply 49October 24, 2020 8:59 AM

I’m Muriel, slowing down access when the house gets too full.

by Anonymousreply 50October 24, 2020 9:24 AM

I'm Henry Cavill's heterosexuality.

by Anonymousreply 51October 24, 2020 9:30 AM

I'm Jared's botox face.

by Anonymousreply 52October 24, 2020 9:54 AM

I'm Linda Lavin - and I'm going straight down the shitter!

by Anonymousreply 53October 24, 2020 2:40 PM

I'm Russian and I come to Datalounge to discuss modern culture and figure skating and to practice my English. I hate politics and am employed in a completely unrelated industry.

by Anonymousreply 54October 24, 2020 3:27 PM

R54, how is that a horror?

by Anonymousreply 55October 24, 2020 3:58 PM

I am the ghost of Bonnie Franklin. Every time you hear the sound of tapping and you can’t explain where it comes from, that was me.

by Anonymousreply 56October 24, 2020 4:37 PM

...I'm..........UNCUT.

by Anonymousreply 57October 24, 2020 4:43 PM

I’m the ghost of Christmas past...and I’m horrifying!

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by Anonymousreply 58October 24, 2020 4:49 PM

I'm the source of that gingivitis smell.

by Anonymousreply 59October 24, 2020 5:22 PM

I'm the grammar police, correcting you as you speak.

by Anonymousreply 60October 24, 2020 6:37 PM

I’m a trans woman!

by Anonymousreply 61October 24, 2020 6:53 PM

I'm Aunt Diane, jumping behind the wheel.

by Anonymousreply 62October 24, 2020 6:56 PM

I'm the beets you forgot you ate yesterday.

by Anonymousreply 63October 24, 2020 7:07 PM

I'm Boris, the homophobic, self-bashing, right-wing propaganda troll, here to torture you with my mediocre attempts at Fake News.

I'm about as effective as the Spanish Inquisition — Monty Python edition.

by Anonymousreply 64October 24, 2020 7:32 PM

I'm the corpse bride. My ill fitting gown and my dangling tendrils are terrifying.

by Anonymousreply 65October 24, 2020 7:59 PM

I'm the corpse bride. My ill fitting gown and my dangling tendrils are terrifying.

by Anonymousreply 66October 24, 2020 7:59 PM

I’m the date demanding towels and food.

by Anonymousreply 67October 24, 2020 8:20 PM

I'm the room of disembodied fat-voices calling you boris as you walk through me.

by Anonymousreply 68October 24, 2020 8:27 PM

I'm the OP who fucks up his own thread. There is consensus on DL for allowing pasta draining. The problem is pasta rinsing. It is pasta rinsing that sends everyone here to battle stations.

by Anonymousreply 69October 24, 2020 8:51 PM

I’m the Dyatlov Pass haunted maze. No one makes it out alive.

by Anonymousreply 70October 24, 2020 8:59 PM

R51 cause truth is really terrifying sometimes

by Anonymousreply 71October 24, 2020 9:08 PM

I'm a straight guy who actually only has sex with women and will just jerk off if I can't get laid.

by Anonymousreply 72October 24, 2020 9:21 PM

I am the Markles shiteous and self-serving Zoom interviews playing on a loop.

by Anonymousreply 73October 24, 2020 9:45 PM

" Someone is dialling with a pencil from inside the house!!!"

by Anonymousreply 74October 24, 2020 9:48 PM

[quote] It is pasta rinsing that sends everyone here to battle stations.

The visual image this conjured up for me almost made me piss myself.

by Anonymousreply 75October 24, 2020 9:54 PM

I'm Miss Lindsey's votes against gay rights

by Anonymousreply 76October 24, 2020 9:54 PM

I'm the Cockgobbler's dirty hole

by Anonymousreply 77October 24, 2020 9:55 PM

[post redacted because linking to dailymail.co.uk clearly indicates that the poster is either a troll or an idiot (probably both, honestly.) Our advice is that you just ignore this poster but whatever you do, don't click on any link to this putrid rag.]

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by Anonymousreply 78October 24, 2020 10:38 PM

I am the Chinese bot at R64.

by Anonymousreply 79October 25, 2020 12:35 AM

Bump! Bump! What's that sound? It's the thread bumper!😳

by Anonymousreply 80October 25, 2020 3:41 AM

R78 has just been fixted!

by Anonymousreply 81October 25, 2020 3:45 AM

I'm the bottom Gridr hookup who dared to kiss an "Alpha Male Dom-Top"... How horrifying for this strict masc sex machine. If I allow a kiss or two, they may call me maskulinda!

by Anonymousreply 82October 25, 2020 3:49 AM

^ Grindr

by Anonymousreply 83October 25, 2020 3:51 AM

I'm Eric Trump trying to lure you into sex with his newfound "queerness," blubber walls and taodstool nub while he destroys your rights, flanked by the two DLers who make apologies for him—exposed as decomposing, Medieval self-flagellants.

by Anonymousreply 84October 25, 2020 3:54 AM

I'll be Eric's gummy smile

by Anonymousreply 85October 25, 2020 3:57 AM

I’m the zombie hand that reaches out of a dark room and grabs you when you’re walking to the bathroom.

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by Anonymousreply 86October 25, 2020 3:58 AM

I'm the basement sex dungeon.

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by Anonymousreply 87October 25, 2020 3:58 AM

I'm Kevin Spacey's basement dungeon

by Anonymousreply 88October 25, 2020 3:59 AM

I’m the candy corn pumpkin spice candle from Bath and Body works.

by Anonymousreply 89October 25, 2020 4:01 AM

I'm Bruce Vilanch with his shirt off, and I come with smelling salts!

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by Anonymousreply 90October 25, 2020 4:01 AM

BOO💀

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by Anonymousreply 91October 25, 2020 4:04 AM

👻🎃👻🎃👻🎃I'm PRONOUNS 👻🎃👻🎃👻🎃...

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by Anonymousreply 92October 25, 2020 4:05 AM

We are the Asians, fats and femmes and here, we reject you!

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by Anonymousreply 93October 25, 2020 4:09 AM

Boo!!!!!Even more terror💀💀💀💀

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by Anonymousreply 94October 25, 2020 4:09 AM

Hi, I'm Chris Christie

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by Anonymousreply 95October 25, 2020 4:11 AM

Hocus-pocus👽

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by Anonymousreply 96October 25, 2020 4:14 AM

Do you like my panda costume?

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by Anonymousreply 97October 25, 2020 4:14 AM

J/K! This isn’t a costume. I’m a MODEL!

by Anonymousreply 98October 25, 2020 4:16 AM

Let's leave it up to the states!

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by Anonymousreply 99October 25, 2020 4:19 AM

I'm the mirror that adds the 15 years to reveal your true age.

by Anonymousreply 100October 25, 2020 4:21 AM

For my horrifying Halloween party. 🎃 I will playing tracks from Jeremy Renner’s new album.👻

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by Anonymousreply 101October 25, 2020 4:22 AM

I'm Darfur Orphan asking for leftovers after a dinner party.

by Anonymousreply 102October 25, 2020 4:23 AM

Golden Girls continuity

by Anonymousreply 103October 25, 2020 4:25 AM

I'm Roxane Gay and I'm here to tell you that witches are an important part of pagan ritual, "goblins" is a problematic term due to little people, and the term "trick or treat" itself is ableist and poor-shaming (not everyone can perform a trick, not everyone can bestow a treat).

Halloween is EXHAUSTING.

#BeBetter

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by Anonymousreply 104October 25, 2020 4:29 AM

Chrissy Metz'z fold cheese.

by Anonymousreply 105October 25, 2020 4:32 AM

Who gives a fuck about Halloween stuff and decoration?

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by Anonymousreply 106October 25, 2020 4:33 AM

I’m Laurie Cabot and I will not be attending.

Your loss!

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by Anonymousreply 107October 25, 2020 4:41 AM

I am the Follies room. Just try to discuss anything other than Follies in here. It can’t be done!

by Anonymousreply 108October 25, 2020 6:54 AM

I'm Stephen Sondheim's sex dungeon. I was the model for R108.

by Anonymousreply 109October 25, 2020 8:04 AM

I’m Mame (1974) playing on a constant loop.

by Anonymousreply 110October 25, 2020 8:06 AM

We're Chrissy Metz's unwashable soiled panties.

by Anonymousreply 111October 25, 2020 8:10 AM

I'm a special appearance by DL villain of the year 2015 Davey Blackburn.

by Anonymousreply 112October 25, 2020 8:26 AM

I’m r103 and r105 and I have NO IDEA how to do a let’s be thread.

by Anonymousreply 113October 25, 2020 1:26 PM

I'm R113 the School Marm. We must all follow the rules, children, or I'll give you a whipping.

by Anonymousreply 114October 25, 2020 1:29 PM

I’m the cash bar at the Red Wedding.

by Anonymousreply 115October 25, 2020 1:35 PM

[quote] We must all follow the rules,

When you’re playing a game, yeah, that usually helps.

by Anonymousreply 116October 25, 2020 1:40 PM

[quote] We must all follow the rules, children, or I'll give you a whipping.

I’m r117 and I’m all hot and bothered now.

Kinky.

by Anonymousreply 117October 25, 2020 1:41 PM

I’m an HIV+ tattooed eldergay who rides a motorcycle and is into fisting.

by Anonymousreply 118October 25, 2020 3:02 PM

I’m San Francisco!

by Anonymousreply 119October 25, 2020 3:03 PM

I'm the shaved pubes left in the bathroom sink and the bathroom floor.

by Anonymousreply 120October 25, 2020 3:14 PM

I'm the kitchen full of desserts for the Fat Whores who eat dessert every night.

by Anonymousreply 121October 25, 2020 3:50 PM

I'm Trump-- eternal president. I cause anxiety to all weak-minded Eldergays.

by Anonymousreply 122October 25, 2020 4:04 PM

I'm the cash bar at your nephew's wedding

by Anonymousreply 123October 25, 2020 5:07 PM

I'm Tiffany Trump and Richard Grenell - the Trump administration's super fun ambassadors to the gay community!

by Anonymousreply 124October 25, 2020 5:24 PM

I'm Rudy Giuliani, I'm "tucking in my shirt"

by Anonymousreply 125October 25, 2020 6:09 PM

I'm a Gen Z who responds with a confused look when Eldergays say "Liza", "Bette" or "Barbra"

If they say "Cher" though, his face lights up.

"You mean like in Clueless?"

by Anonymousreply 126October 25, 2020 6:14 PM

I'm the Scrapbooking Room.

Just a series of formica tables laden with pumpkin spice beverages and cookies, lots of Fiskars scissors, glue and glitter.

Three fraus, all of whom are really trying to lose that last 20 pounds will join you and discuss their children, their favorite Jello salad recipe, their job in customer service and the relative merits of various brands of minivan, all while pushing pumpkin spike snack cakes on you

by Anonymousreply 127October 25, 2020 6:17 PM

I'm a can of frosting. Christmas is just around the corner bitches and I'm coming for those fucking cookies.

by Anonymousreply 128October 25, 2020 9:08 PM

I'm Kwanzaa Cak

by Anonymousreply 129October 25, 2020 10:09 PM

I’m the weird little girl next door (*kisses doll*)

by Anonymousreply 130October 25, 2020 10:13 PM

I'm the soft butch sous chef! I'll be waiting for you every time you meet a grindr trick at a hotel

by Anonymousreply 131October 25, 2020 10:16 PM

Can someone link to the soft butch sous chef thread or explain what this is about because ot has been bothering me for years!! Please! I have found most of the other legendary old threads, but not this one.

by Anonymousreply 132October 25, 2020 10:44 PM

It was an ongoing, multi-thread discussion, r132. Here’s a Part 5 thread but whoever created the threads didn’t always link to the previous one so I could only go backward to part 4. I don’t think the “soft butch sous chef” moniker was in the original thread title.

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by Anonymousreply 133October 25, 2020 10:51 PM

R132, here's the background:

A lesbian and her gf were grifters and came up with a way to get $$$: they'd put out a "men seeking men" ad asking for a guy to meet her at a hotel. The guy shows up, thinking he's meeting a young, hot guy for sex. Then a soft butch lesbian shows up in disguise with a knife, threatening him to turn over his money. Except he fights back instead of just handing over the dough. So the soft butch kills him instead. Police release the security footage from the hotel to catch the culprit. The footage is grainy and the perp is bundled up, to the point where most people can't determine if it's a male or female. DL sees the footage and determines the killer must be a "soft butch sous chef" - wrong on the sous chef part, right on the soft butch. The lesbian was eventually caught and punished. Btw, the victim turned out to be a deeply closeted married man who was seeing guys behind his wife's back.

by Anonymousreply 134October 25, 2020 10:54 PM

Hahahahaha, oh good lord, hahaha! And you're saying this was a true story? Thank you so much, kind R133 and R134! You made my day.

by Anonymousreply 135October 25, 2020 11:05 PM

Here’s the first thread. The Datalounge Ladies’ Detective Agency clocked her early on.

[quote]That is a woman POI for sure. You can tell also by the way she holds her arms when walking by the elevator, the way her toes point out when walking and the way she femininely touches the walls of the stairwells. Men do not move like that. She is way too fluid. You can see gracefulness underneath the really bulky clothing and shoes to make her look like a man. Again I think that is definitely a woman in the video.

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by Anonymousreply 136October 25, 2020 11:10 PM

I am the guy who made the OFFICIAL thread for an event (Oscars, Debates) the day before.

Don't you fuck with my and create a different one!

by Anonymousreply 137October 25, 2020 11:13 PM

I'm the grease fire held in reserve until only the worst of cursings will do.

by Anonymousreply 138October 25, 2020 11:14 PM

[quote] DL sees the footage and determines the killer must be a "soft butch sous chef"

I will add that the sous chef part came into play because in the security footage she had on pants and shoes that made it appear as though she worked BOH at a restaurant somewhere.

If I recall correctly, she was actually a security guard.

If it wasn’t so serious a situation (a dude did get murdered after all) it would’ve been hilarious.

by Anonymousreply 139October 25, 2020 11:52 PM

I'm 's man boobs

by Anonymousreply 140October 25, 2020 11:55 PM

I'm the picture of the guy everyone says is Erna wearing Mom jeans.

by Anonymousreply 141October 26, 2020 12:06 AM

I’m the fully loaded baked potato (from the baked-potato bar, not Ruth’s Chris) being passed under the margarine fountain and clogging its plumbing with bacon and chives.

by Anonymousreply 142October 26, 2020 12:18 AM

[quote] being passed under the margarine fountain

Oh! Fucking heaven!!

by Anonymousreply 143October 26, 2020 12:30 AM

I’m this:

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by Anonymousreply 144October 26, 2020 2:03 AM

R142 - YUMMMM! 🤩

by Anonymousreply 145October 26, 2020 2:18 AM

I'm the African Baby Catalog

by Anonymousreply 146October 26, 2020 2:43 AM

Hi, I'm Jared Kushner!

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by Anonymousreply 147October 26, 2020 2:58 AM

Im TiffanyTrump and I'm fat

by Anonymousreply 148October 26, 2020 3:00 AM

I'm typing fat.

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by Anonymousreply 149October 26, 2020 3:06 AM

I'm all the most horrible threads from 2015 . . . brought back from the dead.

by Anonymousreply 150October 26, 2020 3:33 AM

I'm the humorless hall monitor. I think I decided what threads and opinions are relevant and acceptable. I furiously use my votes, call names and call for Muriel's intervention in order to control the conversation. In reality, my efforts are useless, people won't change their opinions just because I try to censure them, and come as a pathetic and annoying noise on the back.

by Anonymousreply 151October 26, 2020 6:14 AM

I'm the crab-walking lesbian girlfriend.

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by Anonymousreply 152October 26, 2020 6:48 AM

I'm the horrifying images of prolapsed vaginas posted as a protest for the worst kind of cunt.

by Anonymousreply 153October 26, 2020 6:55 AM

I'm the feminine Filipino twink who is actually 50 (but I reading do look 20)

Why don't any hot white alpha males like me? Why don't any white guys like me? It must be racism!

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by Anonymousreply 154October 26, 2020 7:29 AM

I'm Pete Burns low hangers

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by Anonymousreply 155October 26, 2020 7:31 AM

I'm the horrified realization that my pre-Grindr trick thinks I AM RUNNING A BED & BREAKFAST in which the trick believes he is entitled to complementary towel service (singular - just the one) and turkey meatballs.

Well, I never..........

by Anonymousreply 156October 26, 2020 7:53 AM

I'm Sissy's pizza bread.

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by Anonymousreply 157October 26, 2020 8:13 AM

R155 what the... 😰

by Anonymousreply 158October 26, 2020 10:38 AM

R155 is worse than Hitler

by Anonymousreply 159October 26, 2020 11:45 AM

So is r156!

See r67.

by Anonymousreply 160October 26, 2020 2:01 PM

Drained pasta - the original creepypasta.

by Anonymousreply 161October 26, 2020 2:32 PM

Drained pasta - the original creepypasta.

by Anonymousreply 162October 26, 2020 2:33 PM

Mine was better and far more accurate R160.

by Anonymousreply 163October 26, 2020 2:39 PM

I'm the Helen Lawson room. Eldergays admitted only.

by Anonymousreply 164October 26, 2020 2:43 PM

I'm things that go "bump" in the night.

by Anonymousreply 165October 26, 2020 2:45 PM

[quote] Mine was better and far more accurate [R160].

On second evaluation, you’re right. I’ll allow it.

*wink*

by Anonymousreply 166October 26, 2020 3:14 PM

I’m r104 and I’ll NEVER stop coming for your gay rights or the obliteration of all women.

by Anonymousreply 167October 26, 2020 9:13 PM

I’m the Corny Visuals AIDS Case.

I flash you a pic of Wyle E. Coyote falling off a cliff as I push you off a cliff.

by Anonymousreply 168October 26, 2020 9:44 PM

I'm the Foreign Faction, out to get every penny of your husband's annual bonus!

by Anonymousreply 169October 26, 2020 10:31 PM

I’m Uber-masc, well built, moustachioed Nebraskan ranchers wearing cowboy hats

by Anonymousreply 170October 26, 2020 10:42 PM

I'm the room full of horrid racks of unfashionable non-GAP clothing!

The HORROR!!!

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by Anonymousreply 171October 26, 2020 10:55 PM

I'm Mitch McConnell

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by Anonymousreply 172October 27, 2020 4:17 AM

I'm a plus-size ballerina.

by Anonymousreply 173October 27, 2020 4:47 AM

I'm the man who use tampons, I take any reference on the package that this is a product for women very offensive. And yes I see myself as a gay man!! 👻

by Anonymousreply 174October 28, 2020 4:44 AM

Marry me, R104! 😂

by Anonymousreply 175October 29, 2020 11:20 PM

I’m the 99 cent store that now has tons of Christmas decorations right now.

by Anonymousreply 176October 31, 2020 5:07 AM
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