I'm the pasta being drained!😱
Let's be The DL House of Horrors!👻🎃
by Anonymous | reply 176 | October 31, 2020 5:07 AM |
I'm Cheryl. My pussy stinks.
by Anonymous | reply 1 | October 23, 2020 11:28 PM |
I’m the gargoyle neighbor
by Anonymous | reply 2 | October 23, 2020 11:49 PM |
We are the masks that are thrown on the ground.
by Anonymous | reply 3 | October 23, 2020 11:52 PM |
I'm tinymeat, the most tragic disease known to man
by Anonymous | reply 4 | October 23, 2020 11:54 PM |
*kisses doll*
by Anonymous | reply 5 | October 23, 2020 11:54 PM |
I'm the bad spelling and grammar the would of gone unnoticed if its wasn't for the "Eau Deer" troll.
by Anonymous | reply 6 | October 23, 2020 11:56 PM |
I'm the wall of porcelain dolls whose eyes follow you around the room.
by Anonymous | reply 7 | October 23, 2020 11:58 PM |
I’m foreskin
Or lack of foreskin
Whichever you find more horrifying
by Anonymous | reply 8 | October 24, 2020 12:03 AM |
I'm the local Millennial Transtapo telling all women who enter how only "women with a penis" are truly women!
by Anonymous | reply 9 | October 24, 2020 12:09 AM |
I’m an ugly pair of women’s shoes with brown stains you find under a bed in your suite at The Bellagio.
by Anonymous | reply 10 | October 24, 2020 12:12 AM |
I’m the jar of Duke’s mayo.
by Anonymous | reply 11 | October 24, 2020 12:14 AM |
I'm Once Around the Garden, NOT Fall Harvest!
by Anonymous | reply 12 | October 24, 2020 12:22 AM |
I'm Jackie. I am On Assistance. It is horrifying.
by Anonymous | reply 13 | October 24, 2020 12:23 AM |
I’m sixty but I look sixty!
by Anonymous | reply 14 | October 24, 2020 12:30 AM |
I'm the ghost of caftans past!
by Anonymous | reply 15 | October 24, 2020 12:32 AM |
I'm Joyce DeWitt's used tampon!
by Anonymous | reply 16 | October 24, 2020 12:34 AM |
I’m the Nextdoor soft butch sous chef squatting like a gargoyle whilst smoking a cigarette. Yes, I may be on the roof, but I’m not Bai Ling.
by Anonymous | reply 17 | October 24, 2020 12:35 AM |
I'm the steaming mugs of pumpkin spice latte, just waiting to be cradled.
by Anonymous | reply 18 | October 24, 2020 12:36 AM |
I'm a mob of MAGA zombies!
by Anonymous | reply 19 | October 24, 2020 12:36 AM |
I’m a puny cocklet
by Anonymous | reply 20 | October 24, 2020 12:39 AM |
I'm Ginny from Billing, who's now YOUR SUPERVISOR!!
by Anonymous | reply 21 | October 24, 2020 12:42 AM |
I'm Nosferatu, also known as Rudy Giuliani
by Anonymous | reply 23 | October 24, 2020 12:48 AM |
I lived in DL's House of Horrors.
And then I died.
by Anonymous | reply 24 | October 24, 2020 1:05 AM |
I'm Joel the nephew.
by Anonymous | reply 26 | October 24, 2020 1:14 AM |
I might win re-election!
by Anonymous | reply 27 | October 24, 2020 1:14 AM |
r25, are you also ratty and Korean?
by Anonymous | reply 28 | October 24, 2020 1:15 AM |
R14, I’m sixty and I look SEVENTY!
🧟♂️
by Anonymous | reply 29 | October 24, 2020 1:15 AM |
I’m piles and piles of Golden Girls DVDs being thrown in the incinerator
by Anonymous | reply 30 | October 24, 2020 1:21 AM |
I suck on my father's toes.
by Anonymous | reply 31 | October 24, 2020 1:22 AM |
I'm the room with Southwestern decor! Which of you Tasteful Friends will dare to enter?
by Anonymous | reply 32 | October 24, 2020 1:22 AM |
I'm Kevin Lanflisi's slam poetry
by Anonymous | reply 33 | October 24, 2020 1:23 AM |
R32, you scare easily.
Want to see something REALLY scary?
by Anonymous | reply 34 | October 24, 2020 1:31 AM |
Any Coney Barrett ends up on the Supreme Court, and makes a law that says all holidays must be celebrated as if they’re chapters of The Handmaid’s Tale.
by Anonymous | reply 36 | October 24, 2020 1:37 AM |
We have to get through one more year of A Sociopath’s Christmas in Mordor.
by Anonymous | reply 37 | October 24, 2020 1:41 AM |
I'm the non-communal shower room that offers people full privacy as they walk through it fully clothed.
by Anonymous | reply 38 | October 24, 2020 3:19 AM |
I'm the pics of boobies and vag that induce fainting and nausea.
by Anonymous | reply 39 | October 24, 2020 4:06 AM |
I'm the home bar between the living and dining rooms. Sit down and have a drink with me.
by Anonymous | reply 40 | October 24, 2020 4:34 AM |
I killed my wife and small children, but I am quite ugly and out of shape.
by Anonymous | reply 41 | October 24, 2020 5:32 AM |
I'm the ghost of Denny and his rolling suitcase.
by Anonymous | reply 42 | October 24, 2020 6:28 AM |
I'm the haunting cries of "Corn! When did I eat corn?"
by Anonymous | reply 43 | October 24, 2020 6:50 AM |
I'm Seth MacFarlane chained up by John in the basement.
by Anonymous | reply 44 | October 24, 2020 6:50 AM |
I'm four more years - 1,463 days - of Trump.
by Anonymous | reply 45 | October 24, 2020 6:52 AM |
I'm the room full of trump obsessed posters, ready to smother you with their mediocre attempts at humour.
by Anonymous | reply 46 | October 24, 2020 7:01 AM |
I'm the fetid scat queen who keeps coming back.
by Anonymous | reply 47 | October 24, 2020 8:08 AM |
I’m the fat frau invasion.
by Anonymous | reply 48 | October 24, 2020 8:43 AM |
I'm the towel dance!
I'm Joel doing the towel dance!
Dagnabit, can't see ANYTHING!
by Anonymous | reply 49 | October 24, 2020 8:59 AM |
I’m Muriel, slowing down access when the house gets too full.
by Anonymous | reply 50 | October 24, 2020 9:24 AM |
I'm Henry Cavill's heterosexuality.
by Anonymous | reply 51 | October 24, 2020 9:30 AM |
I'm Jared's botox face.
by Anonymous | reply 52 | October 24, 2020 9:54 AM |
I'm Linda Lavin - and I'm going straight down the shitter!
by Anonymous | reply 53 | October 24, 2020 2:40 PM |
I'm Russian and I come to Datalounge to discuss modern culture and figure skating and to practice my English. I hate politics and am employed in a completely unrelated industry.
by Anonymous | reply 54 | October 24, 2020 3:27 PM |
R54, how is that a horror?
by Anonymous | reply 55 | October 24, 2020 3:58 PM |
I am the ghost of Bonnie Franklin. Every time you hear the sound of tapping and you can’t explain where it comes from, that was me.
by Anonymous | reply 56 | October 24, 2020 4:37 PM |
...I'm..........UNCUT.
by Anonymous | reply 57 | October 24, 2020 4:43 PM |
I’m the ghost of Christmas past...and I’m horrifying!
by Anonymous | reply 58 | October 24, 2020 4:49 PM |
I'm the source of that gingivitis smell.
by Anonymous | reply 59 | October 24, 2020 5:22 PM |
I'm the grammar police, correcting you as you speak.
by Anonymous | reply 60 | October 24, 2020 6:37 PM |
I’m a trans woman!
by Anonymous | reply 61 | October 24, 2020 6:53 PM |
I'm Aunt Diane, jumping behind the wheel.
by Anonymous | reply 62 | October 24, 2020 6:56 PM |
I'm the beets you forgot you ate yesterday.
by Anonymous | reply 63 | October 24, 2020 7:07 PM |
I'm Boris, the homophobic, self-bashing, right-wing propaganda troll, here to torture you with my mediocre attempts at Fake News.
I'm about as effective as the Spanish Inquisition — Monty Python edition.
by Anonymous | reply 64 | October 24, 2020 7:32 PM |
I'm the corpse bride. My ill fitting gown and my dangling tendrils are terrifying.
by Anonymous | reply 65 | October 24, 2020 7:59 PM |
I'm the corpse bride. My ill fitting gown and my dangling tendrils are terrifying.
by Anonymous | reply 66 | October 24, 2020 7:59 PM |
I’m the date demanding towels and food.
by Anonymous | reply 67 | October 24, 2020 8:20 PM |
I'm the room of disembodied fat-voices calling you boris as you walk through me.
by Anonymous | reply 68 | October 24, 2020 8:27 PM |
I'm the OP who fucks up his own thread. There is consensus on DL for allowing pasta draining. The problem is pasta rinsing. It is pasta rinsing that sends everyone here to battle stations.
by Anonymous | reply 69 | October 24, 2020 8:51 PM |
I’m the Dyatlov Pass haunted maze. No one makes it out alive.
by Anonymous | reply 70 | October 24, 2020 8:59 PM |
R51 cause truth is really terrifying sometimes
by Anonymous | reply 71 | October 24, 2020 9:08 PM |
I'm a straight guy who actually only has sex with women and will just jerk off if I can't get laid.
by Anonymous | reply 72 | October 24, 2020 9:21 PM |
I am the Markles shiteous and self-serving Zoom interviews playing on a loop.
by Anonymous | reply 73 | October 24, 2020 9:45 PM |
" Someone is dialling with a pencil from inside the house!!!"
by Anonymous | reply 74 | October 24, 2020 9:48 PM |
[quote] It is pasta rinsing that sends everyone here to battle stations.
The visual image this conjured up for me almost made me piss myself.
by Anonymous | reply 75 | October 24, 2020 9:54 PM |
I'm Miss Lindsey's votes against gay rights
by Anonymous | reply 76 | October 24, 2020 9:54 PM |
I'm the Cockgobbler's dirty hole
by Anonymous | reply 77 | October 24, 2020 9:55 PM |
[post redacted because linking to dailymail.co.uk clearly indicates that the poster is either a troll or an idiot (probably both, honestly.) Our advice is that you just ignore this poster but whatever you do, don't click on any link to this putrid rag.]
by Anonymous | reply 78 | October 24, 2020 10:38 PM |
I am the Chinese bot at R64.
by Anonymous | reply 79 | October 25, 2020 12:35 AM |
Bump! Bump! What's that sound? It's the thread bumper!😳
by Anonymous | reply 80 | October 25, 2020 3:41 AM |
R78 has just been fixted!
by Anonymous | reply 81 | October 25, 2020 3:45 AM |
I'm the bottom Gridr hookup who dared to kiss an "Alpha Male Dom-Top"... How horrifying for this strict masc sex machine. If I allow a kiss or two, they may call me maskulinda!
by Anonymous | reply 82 | October 25, 2020 3:49 AM |
^ Grindr
by Anonymous | reply 83 | October 25, 2020 3:51 AM |
I'm Eric Trump trying to lure you into sex with his newfound "queerness," blubber walls and taodstool nub while he destroys your rights, flanked by the two DLers who make apologies for him—exposed as decomposing, Medieval self-flagellants.
by Anonymous | reply 84 | October 25, 2020 3:54 AM |
I'll be Eric's gummy smile
by Anonymous | reply 85 | October 25, 2020 3:57 AM |
I’m the zombie hand that reaches out of a dark room and grabs you when you’re walking to the bathroom.
by Anonymous | reply 86 | October 25, 2020 3:58 AM |
I'm Kevin Spacey's basement dungeon
by Anonymous | reply 88 | October 25, 2020 3:59 AM |
I’m the candy corn pumpkin spice candle from Bath and Body works.
by Anonymous | reply 89 | October 25, 2020 4:01 AM |
I'm Bruce Vilanch with his shirt off, and I come with smelling salts!
by Anonymous | reply 90 | October 25, 2020 4:01 AM |
We are the Asians, fats and femmes and here, we reject you!
by Anonymous | reply 93 | October 25, 2020 4:09 AM |
J/K! This isn’t a costume. I’m a MODEL!
by Anonymous | reply 98 | October 25, 2020 4:16 AM |
I'm the mirror that adds the 15 years to reveal your true age.
by Anonymous | reply 100 | October 25, 2020 4:21 AM |
For my horrifying Halloween party. 🎃 I will playing tracks from Jeremy Renner’s new album.👻
by Anonymous | reply 101 | October 25, 2020 4:22 AM |
I'm Darfur Orphan asking for leftovers after a dinner party.
by Anonymous | reply 102 | October 25, 2020 4:23 AM |
Golden Girls continuity
by Anonymous | reply 103 | October 25, 2020 4:25 AM |
I'm Roxane Gay and I'm here to tell you that witches are an important part of pagan ritual, "goblins" is a problematic term due to little people, and the term "trick or treat" itself is ableist and poor-shaming (not everyone can perform a trick, not everyone can bestow a treat).
Halloween is EXHAUSTING.
#BeBetter
by Anonymous | reply 104 | October 25, 2020 4:29 AM |
Chrissy Metz'z fold cheese.
by Anonymous | reply 105 | October 25, 2020 4:32 AM |
Who gives a fuck about Halloween stuff and decoration?
by Anonymous | reply 106 | October 25, 2020 4:33 AM |
I’m Laurie Cabot and I will not be attending.
Your loss!
by Anonymous | reply 107 | October 25, 2020 4:41 AM |
I am the Follies room. Just try to discuss anything other than Follies in here. It can’t be done!
by Anonymous | reply 108 | October 25, 2020 6:54 AM |
I'm Stephen Sondheim's sex dungeon. I was the model for R108.
by Anonymous | reply 109 | October 25, 2020 8:04 AM |
I’m Mame (1974) playing on a constant loop.
by Anonymous | reply 110 | October 25, 2020 8:06 AM |
We're Chrissy Metz's unwashable soiled panties.
by Anonymous | reply 111 | October 25, 2020 8:10 AM |
I'm a special appearance by DL villain of the year 2015 Davey Blackburn.
by Anonymous | reply 112 | October 25, 2020 8:26 AM |
I’m r103 and r105 and I have NO IDEA how to do a let’s be thread.
by Anonymous | reply 113 | October 25, 2020 1:26 PM |
I'm R113 the School Marm. We must all follow the rules, children, or I'll give you a whipping.
by Anonymous | reply 114 | October 25, 2020 1:29 PM |
I’m the cash bar at the Red Wedding.
by Anonymous | reply 115 | October 25, 2020 1:35 PM |
[quote] We must all follow the rules,
When you’re playing a game, yeah, that usually helps.
by Anonymous | reply 116 | October 25, 2020 1:40 PM |
[quote] We must all follow the rules, children, or I'll give you a whipping.
I’m r117 and I’m all hot and bothered now.
Kinky.
by Anonymous | reply 117 | October 25, 2020 1:41 PM |
I’m an HIV+ tattooed eldergay who rides a motorcycle and is into fisting.
by Anonymous | reply 118 | October 25, 2020 3:02 PM |
I’m San Francisco!
by Anonymous | reply 119 | October 25, 2020 3:03 PM |
I'm the shaved pubes left in the bathroom sink and the bathroom floor.
by Anonymous | reply 120 | October 25, 2020 3:14 PM |
I'm the kitchen full of desserts for the Fat Whores who eat dessert every night.
by Anonymous | reply 121 | October 25, 2020 3:50 PM |
I'm Trump-- eternal president. I cause anxiety to all weak-minded Eldergays.
by Anonymous | reply 122 | October 25, 2020 4:04 PM |
I'm the cash bar at your nephew's wedding
by Anonymous | reply 123 | October 25, 2020 5:07 PM |
I'm Tiffany Trump and Richard Grenell - the Trump administration's super fun ambassadors to the gay community!
by Anonymous | reply 124 | October 25, 2020 5:24 PM |
I'm Rudy Giuliani, I'm "tucking in my shirt"
by Anonymous | reply 125 | October 25, 2020 6:09 PM |
I'm a Gen Z who responds with a confused look when Eldergays say "Liza", "Bette" or "Barbra"
If they say "Cher" though, his face lights up.
"You mean like in Clueless?"
by Anonymous | reply 126 | October 25, 2020 6:14 PM |
I'm the Scrapbooking Room.
Just a series of formica tables laden with pumpkin spice beverages and cookies, lots of Fiskars scissors, glue and glitter.
Three fraus, all of whom are really trying to lose that last 20 pounds will join you and discuss their children, their favorite Jello salad recipe, their job in customer service and the relative merits of various brands of minivan, all while pushing pumpkin spike snack cakes on you
by Anonymous | reply 127 | October 25, 2020 6:17 PM |
I'm a can of frosting. Christmas is just around the corner bitches and I'm coming for those fucking cookies.
by Anonymous | reply 128 | October 25, 2020 9:08 PM |
I'm Kwanzaa Cak
by Anonymous | reply 129 | October 25, 2020 10:09 PM |
I’m the weird little girl next door (*kisses doll*)
by Anonymous | reply 130 | October 25, 2020 10:13 PM |
I'm the soft butch sous chef! I'll be waiting for you every time you meet a grindr trick at a hotel
by Anonymous | reply 131 | October 25, 2020 10:16 PM |
Can someone link to the soft butch sous chef thread or explain what this is about because ot has been bothering me for years!! Please! I have found most of the other legendary old threads, but not this one.
by Anonymous | reply 132 | October 25, 2020 10:44 PM |
It was an ongoing, multi-thread discussion, r132. Here’s a Part 5 thread but whoever created the threads didn’t always link to the previous one so I could only go backward to part 4. I don’t think the “soft butch sous chef” moniker was in the original thread title.
by Anonymous | reply 133 | October 25, 2020 10:51 PM |
R132, here's the background:
A lesbian and her gf were grifters and came up with a way to get $$$: they'd put out a "men seeking men" ad asking for a guy to meet her at a hotel. The guy shows up, thinking he's meeting a young, hot guy for sex. Then a soft butch lesbian shows up in disguise with a knife, threatening him to turn over his money. Except he fights back instead of just handing over the dough. So the soft butch kills him instead. Police release the security footage from the hotel to catch the culprit. The footage is grainy and the perp is bundled up, to the point where most people can't determine if it's a male or female. DL sees the footage and determines the killer must be a "soft butch sous chef" - wrong on the sous chef part, right on the soft butch. The lesbian was eventually caught and punished. Btw, the victim turned out to be a deeply closeted married man who was seeing guys behind his wife's back.
by Anonymous | reply 134 | October 25, 2020 10:54 PM |
Hahahahaha, oh good lord, hahaha! And you're saying this was a true story? Thank you so much, kind R133 and R134! You made my day.
by Anonymous | reply 135 | October 25, 2020 11:05 PM |
Here’s the first thread. The Datalounge Ladies’ Detective Agency clocked her early on.
[quote]That is a woman POI for sure. You can tell also by the way she holds her arms when walking by the elevator, the way her toes point out when walking and the way she femininely touches the walls of the stairwells. Men do not move like that. She is way too fluid. You can see gracefulness underneath the really bulky clothing and shoes to make her look like a man. Again I think that is definitely a woman in the video.
by Anonymous | reply 136 | October 25, 2020 11:10 PM |
I am the guy who made the OFFICIAL thread for an event (Oscars, Debates) the day before.
Don't you fuck with my and create a different one!
by Anonymous | reply 137 | October 25, 2020 11:13 PM |
I'm the grease fire held in reserve until only the worst of cursings will do.
by Anonymous | reply 138 | October 25, 2020 11:14 PM |
[quote] DL sees the footage and determines the killer must be a "soft butch sous chef"
I will add that the sous chef part came into play because in the security footage she had on pants and shoes that made it appear as though she worked BOH at a restaurant somewhere.
If I recall correctly, she was actually a security guard.
If it wasn’t so serious a situation (a dude did get murdered after all) it would’ve been hilarious.
by Anonymous | reply 139 | October 25, 2020 11:52 PM |
I'm 's man boobs
by Anonymous | reply 140 | October 25, 2020 11:55 PM |
I'm the picture of the guy everyone says is Erna wearing Mom jeans.
by Anonymous | reply 141 | October 26, 2020 12:06 AM |
I’m the fully loaded baked potato (from the baked-potato bar, not Ruth’s Chris) being passed under the margarine fountain and clogging its plumbing with bacon and chives.
by Anonymous | reply 142 | October 26, 2020 12:18 AM |
[quote] being passed under the margarine fountain
Oh! Fucking heaven!!
by Anonymous | reply 143 | October 26, 2020 12:30 AM |
R142 - YUMMMM! 🤩
by Anonymous | reply 145 | October 26, 2020 2:18 AM |
I'm the African Baby Catalog
by Anonymous | reply 146 | October 26, 2020 2:43 AM |
Im TiffanyTrump and I'm fat
by Anonymous | reply 148 | October 26, 2020 3:00 AM |
I'm all the most horrible threads from 2015 . . . brought back from the dead.
by Anonymous | reply 150 | October 26, 2020 3:33 AM |
I'm the humorless hall monitor. I think I decided what threads and opinions are relevant and acceptable. I furiously use my votes, call names and call for Muriel's intervention in order to control the conversation. In reality, my efforts are useless, people won't change their opinions just because I try to censure them, and come as a pathetic and annoying noise on the back.
by Anonymous | reply 151 | October 26, 2020 6:14 AM |
I'm the horrifying images of prolapsed vaginas posted as a protest for the worst kind of cunt.
by Anonymous | reply 153 | October 26, 2020 6:55 AM |
I'm the feminine Filipino twink who is actually 50 (but I reading do look 20)
Why don't any hot white alpha males like me? Why don't any white guys like me? It must be racism!
by Anonymous | reply 154 | October 26, 2020 7:29 AM |
I'm the horrified realization that my pre-Grindr trick thinks I AM RUNNING A BED & BREAKFAST in which the trick believes he is entitled to complementary towel service (singular - just the one) and turkey meatballs.
Well, I never..........
by Anonymous | reply 156 | October 26, 2020 7:53 AM |
R155 what the... 😰
by Anonymous | reply 158 | October 26, 2020 10:38 AM |
R155 is worse than Hitler
by Anonymous | reply 159 | October 26, 2020 11:45 AM |
So is r156!
See r67.
by Anonymous | reply 160 | October 26, 2020 2:01 PM |
Drained pasta - the original creepypasta.
by Anonymous | reply 161 | October 26, 2020 2:32 PM |
Drained pasta - the original creepypasta.
by Anonymous | reply 162 | October 26, 2020 2:33 PM |
Mine was better and far more accurate R160.
by Anonymous | reply 163 | October 26, 2020 2:39 PM |
I'm the Helen Lawson room. Eldergays admitted only.
by Anonymous | reply 164 | October 26, 2020 2:43 PM |
I'm things that go "bump" in the night.
by Anonymous | reply 165 | October 26, 2020 2:45 PM |
[quote] Mine was better and far more accurate [R160].
On second evaluation, you’re right. I’ll allow it.
*wink*
by Anonymous | reply 166 | October 26, 2020 3:14 PM |
I’m r104 and I’ll NEVER stop coming for your gay rights or the obliteration of all women.
by Anonymous | reply 167 | October 26, 2020 9:13 PM |
I’m the Corny Visuals AIDS Case.
I flash you a pic of Wyle E. Coyote falling off a cliff as I push you off a cliff.
by Anonymous | reply 168 | October 26, 2020 9:44 PM |
I'm the Foreign Faction, out to get every penny of your husband's annual bonus!
by Anonymous | reply 169 | October 26, 2020 10:31 PM |
I’m Uber-masc, well built, moustachioed Nebraskan ranchers wearing cowboy hats
by Anonymous | reply 170 | October 26, 2020 10:42 PM |
I'm the room full of horrid racks of unfashionable non-GAP clothing!
The HORROR!!!
by Anonymous | reply 171 | October 26, 2020 10:55 PM |
I'm a plus-size ballerina.
by Anonymous | reply 173 | October 27, 2020 4:47 AM |
I'm the man who use tampons, I take any reference on the package that this is a product for women very offensive. And yes I see myself as a gay man!! 👻
by Anonymous | reply 174 | October 28, 2020 4:44 AM |
Marry me, R104! 😂
by Anonymous | reply 175 | October 29, 2020 11:20 PM |
I’m the 99 cent store that now has tons of Christmas decorations right now.
by Anonymous | reply 176 | October 31, 2020 5:07 AM |