I got my results from ancestry.com and I'm 31% Ashkenazi Jew.

Is it through your mother or father? Judaism passes from generation to generation through the matrilineal line.

OP here: It is on my father's side. His father was a Jew.

Then it would depend on how much you want to convert. You're not automatically Jewish by virtue of this paternal 31%.

I'm .5% Ashkenzi OP.

Can I come to your house for Yom Kippur?

[quote] I got my results from ancestry.com and I'm 31% Ashkenazi Jew.

No, you didn't. No, you're not.

Is that the same for Conservative and Liberal Judaism?

Ashkenashi.

r5, It is absolutely true.

You're not even as Jewish as Sammy Davis, Jr.!

OK, I just wanted to ask. Thanks

In the door to what?

You'll be welcomed. Talk to your local Rabbi.

Every time they recalibrate my results, my Jewish ancestry comes and goes. I show up anywhere from none (current estimate) to up to 3%. It's on my father's side too--he's Eastern European and Balkan, so the idea that ancestry only passes from the mother would rule me out of the club anyway.

Yes, only a mother passes along a religion and/or ancestry. Just like a virgin gave birth to the son of God and all of humanity was started from two people. They're all cults trying to block you from free thinking.

Can I have your Hanukkah gelt?

I believe my ancestors were 'conversos' who fled from Spain to the Netherlands. There they became United Brethren, which is a radical Christian sect.

r14, maybe next year you'll let me borrow it. It may look nice with my Christmas tree skirt.

Even one drop would have earned you a trip to a concentration camp 80 years ago

Gelt, not belt. Oy.

If your grandfather was a Jew, then you should be only 25% Jewish.

[quote] Yes, only a mother passes along a religion and/or ancestry. Just like a virgin gave birth to the son of God and all of humanity was started from two people. They're all cults trying to block you from free thinking.

R13, is this from Eunice's monologue on The Gong Show? FEELINGS...whoa, whoa, whoa...

There were small amount on my mothers side by way of her mother and also small amounts by way of father's mother, my other grandmama.. It did indicate 25% from my Father, I didn't understand the od faction either. OP

[post redacted because independent.co.uk thinks that links to their ridiculous rag are a bad thing. Somebody might want to tell them how the internet works. Or not. We don't really care. They do suck though. Our advice is that you should not click on the link and whatever you do, don't read their truly terrible articles.]

Anything about Charlemagne show up in your results, hon?

I checked with my contact at Bloomingdale's OP and it seems you need to be at least 33% to get the discount.

Goldman Sachs has an even higher threshold -- the need you to be 35% or higher to get in on the right IPOs.

Sorry!

Ok, thanks to a dozen-year-old tiff a previous Muriel had with The Independent, my post was redacted. What I said was that if you were from Russia, 25% on either grandmother or grandfather’s side would get you a ticket to Israel & citizenship under the Law of Return & that is how Israel wound up with its own antisemitic criminal gang. Those wacky Russians couldn’t resist ruining yet another country by emigrating to it & causing heinous trouble.

R11 the shower, of course.

That story is from 2007 R25 and it is indeed viewable.

R19 that's one arm and a drumstick.

Genetics is so interesting. One should have 12.5% genes in common with first cousins, and yet I find they range from 6% to 16% in commonality. Meaning I have much more in common with some cousins than others. And it doesn't actually take very many generations for you to have lost ancestors whose genes never made it into your makeup.

People frequently do not inherit a perfect 50% of DNA from each parent.

The famous rule of matrilineal descent in Judaism may have had something to do with making sure that the children of rape victims, slaves, secondary wives, etc. all had the status of Jews and so would not be abandoned as outsiders.

OP, you can claim a fraction of ethnic Jewish heritage, but you are not a Jew or "Jewish" by any definition.

I'm 50% but it's on my father's side so fuck them

Shouldn't you be more concerned about genetic diseases, OP?

I make advice to you OP. Please focus on the 69% of You that is not Jew. That way you be Best and not Jewish person.

R29 I've discovered this as well after having done an Ancestry DNA test, and the genetic variability between relatives surprised me. My great-grandfather was Russian-Jewish and was killed during a Nazi raid in Odessa; my great-grandmother was not Jewish and she escaped with her children (one of whom was my grandmother).

My DNA profile shows me being roughly 25% Irish and 20% Russian (both from my maternal ancestry); about 15% English, 10% German, 15% Swedish, and a small bit of French. It's clear from my DNA profile that I inherited more of my mother's DNA, as my maternal grandfather was an Irish Catholic, while the Russian comes from my maternal grandmother; I have an English surname from my father, but I have less of that DNA. Weirdly enough, I've compared my DNA analysis to my mother's and my uncle's, and my uncle's shows, in addition to the Russian, a small percentage of European Jewish ancestry—my mother's does not.

You could undergo a conversation ceremony with an Orthodox rabbi. It should be Orthodox to make sure it's done correctly. (None of that Reform shit where they probably would have you take an oath over a Christmas tree.) You could probably find one willing to do it once you explained that you were Jewish on your father's side.

Then you would be more Jewish than Sammy Davis Jr.

Offer a big cash donation. They’ll let you in.

R17 Not true. The Nazis counted one Jewish grandparent for Jewish identity.

[quote] That story is from 2007 [R25] and it is indeed viewable

*My post that I wrote* — not [italic] *the linked story*, [/italic] R27 — was indeed redacted & replaced with a bracketed editorial screed about the Independent.. So I rewrote & reposted what I’d written without the link.

And it doesn’t matter if it happened today or in 2007. The gang members were all from Russia & they had all been allowed to emigrate to Israel because a grandparent had Jewish heritage. Only one grandparent had to have been Jewish — it didn’t need to have been a female grandparent -- to be considered citizens of the Jewish state, as i had stated in my redacted post (where I answered the OP’s question about what percentage of Jewish heritage one needs to be considered Jewish), and as it is pointed out in the linked story.

Got it?

Or you could live with it and not convert. My father's mother was Jewish but she converted to Catholicism so it was ok. But we always told people we were "a little Jewy". I actually don't know who my father and family thought they were fooling. They looked Jewish and in fact he was a very handsome Jewish looking man, albeit short, which is probably what attracted my mother to him.

Harry Connick Jr is another sexy Jewish Catholic. I've known my share over the years and that mix seems to produce some sexy guys. We also told people we were Pizza Bagels.

OP, do you like Barbra Streisand?

OP, you're so much more Jewish than First Daughter, who's like the Jewessiest Jewess in the whole wide world.

I wish there were a way to do these genetic tests anonymously. I realize that's impossible but I'm still paranoid about giving up so much information.

The Mentally Unbalanced Uncut British Jewish Troll is all over this thread.

Where, R45? I must still have him blocked.

Mazel tov!

[quote] OP, you're so much more Jewish than First Daughter, who's like the Jewessiest Jewess in the whole wide world

Feh!

It's more than enough for me!

So one third of you killed Jesus.

^^ this asshole made me laugh.

Check your bank balance. Global control pays dividends. Pro-rated, of course.

OP you won't control the media but you will control 1/3 of Mediapolis. Can you improve the search function here?

OP here: In one afternoon I have developed tennis elbow placing and removing my new kippah/yarmulke reading each opinion.