I was asked to be a reference for someone applying for a job

I'm actually already a reference for someone I know much better, for the same position. Would that be a decent excuse?

Just say you don’t feel comfortable being a reference. End of story.

Say X already got to you about being a reference for the same job and you do not want to be a reference twice for the same place.

Agree with R3. That would be the best tactic.

Say you will and then don't, OP.

Don't you guys know how to lie??

Just say that there are probably people who know them better who might be a better reference.

Tell them you have a conflict of interest and can't give a reference. They don't need to know what it is. The less information you give, the better.

Poison this person with a little known Russian death agent. The world doesn't need another shitty worker. You'd be doing us all a favor. Problem solved.

“Are you fucking kidding me?”

Tell them sure, then don’t answer the call.

Say yes. Be honest with the hiring representative. They need to know that this person likes Hellman’s mayonnaise.

"It's gonna cost you a blow job."

I was once asked for my opinion of a former coworker by a current boss. The former coworker was a universe of shit. I told the truth.

OP someday someone is going to get you and they are going to get you good. I hope when you are down you get kicked good and hard while you are down there. You deserve it. You associate with someone so that they think that they "could" actually use you for a reference instead of ending the relationship with them then you want to do them dirty. OP you're the shit stain. You can't be honest with this person and say, I don't like you as a person and I don't want to associate with your type like you should have done in the first place. Quit using people shit head.

When asked for a reference I always manage to say something nice because not every person is right for every job, and just because someone wasn't a good fit with my company doesn't mean s/he won't be a good fit somewhere else. In that case I usually just keep it to the job duties and dates of employment rather than praising the candidate.

But I would not provide a recommendation for two people vying for the same job, especially if I had a preference. I like R3 's advice.

Can you say that you are notoriously bad at that kind of thing?

This is what I would tell my students regarding asking a professor to write them a recommendation: if the professor hesitates for even a brief moment when asked, go ask someone else.

"I have sufficient"

I'd also say "sure" and give your actual opinions to the employer.

I'm pretty sure R14 is the person who asked me for the reference.

For the record, we are in a professional group together, she asked to meet me once a few months ago for a one on one meeting, and it went very poorly. She complained about other people in the group and claimed people didn't respect her sufficiently given her level of experience and training. Her reputation for being difficult is well known, and she has atrocious social habits (she's rude as hell). She has some issues, to put it mildly.

I know the folks doing the hiring and they know her, too, so this whole thing is a joke. I could never recommend her to them, and they would think I had lost my mind if I did. I was just looking for a polite way to decline.

Thanks for the suggestions, I did just tell her I was already a reference for another candidate. She didn't respond but I'm sure she's seething. Oh well.

I'm the OP at R20.

Do you need references to move from one store to another in the dying mall?

Me, to the potential employer: “I have nothing bad to say but I barely know this person and they asked me to be a reference. You can draw your own conclusions from that.”

[quote] I was asked to be a reference for [bold] someone [/bold] applying for a job. I can't vouch for [bold] this person[/bold]. I don't trust [italic]them [/italic]. What do I say, diplomatically, to turn them down?

Oh dear, oh dear.

OP, write:

“You will be fortunate if you can get this person to work for you”.

“I can’t express how highly I regard this person.”

Say something truthful but neutral, like "He's good at circulating his blood and drawing air into his lungs" or "If you're looking for a candidate whose body temperature is 98.6 degrees, she could be a good fit."

Just keep saying “WHO!?”

R20, Oh no sweetheart, you give yourself way too much importance. I am just a stranger. An old queen that's been around. One that's seen your type come and go. So do what it is you need to do to feel so powerful today and know within yourself that you have held someone back in their life. I hope you feel better about yourself. I hope you can say to someone somewhere that you did something, truly good. God bless you.

But R28, did you not read the post where OP said the people at work would think he was nuts to recommend her? That this person's reputation as being difficult precedes her? That he's only met her once in his life and she wants a personal recommendation to his employer?

I think she's out of line, presumptuous on far too little acquaintance and seemingly unconcerned about the bad position she has put the OP in at work.

Cunty, I call it.

First, you need to ask if the person is asking you to serve as a personal reference or a professional reference. A professional reference will be asked about dates of employment, job duties, and reason for leaving the job. Basically, they will ask about what's in the personnel file -Just the facts, ma'am. A personal reference will be asked about the candidate's character -honesty, perseverance, ability to get on with others, etc. A professional reference is easy, because it's fact-based, rather than your personal opinions. Anyone who has worked for you should be able to ask for it. They know if they left on good terms or not. A personal reference is tricky, but you can simply say that the nature of your acquaintance is such that you don't have answers to some of the questions.

And R17 is totally correct. When you ask for a reference, pay attention. If there is any hesitation, say thanks and find someone else. That hesitation will kill your prospects. If you need a letter, make sure the person you ask knows how to write an excellent letter. It is usually appropriate to ask to see it before it it sent out.

In times of economic depression, never fuck with another (hu)man's livelihood.

R29, no clit face, I did read it. you don't mess with people's livelihoods especially in precarious times. Look at yourself in the mirror and think of the horrible things that you have done. What if someone told them to someone else? Who do you really think you are? If you can even think otherwise then you've shown yourself.

What the fuck?

I haven't done horrible things, nor have I messed with anyone's livelihood.

If anyone's messing with someone else's job, it's the cunt looking for the reference from the OP, you fucking psycho. He's working there - he needs to protect his job and not recommend people who are difficult to work with to the company.

It's established that he's only met her once. It's established that she has a shitty reputation. It's established that the company is aware of her shitty reputation. In these difficult fucking times, why would anybody put their own job on the line for someone they don't know and don't like?

You're out of your fucking mind and don't live in the real world.

Oh but bitch, YOU don't live in the real world. If you did you would never question such a thing.

Oh for heaven's sake. Your unbalanced, R34.

Go to ignore and rant in there for a bit.

The reference is coming from inside the thread.

Is the person seeking a job asking you to your face if you will give him a reference? Just say "Sorry I cannot do that for you". If they are dense enough to ask you why not, just say "Its my policy". If, on the other hand someone uses you as a reference without your permission and you are called to give a reference for someone you do not care to recommend, just say, "It is my policy to never give references".

Most larger companies will only give the dates that the former employee worked for them. I think its an excellent policy.

Last year, a friend asked me to write a personal reference on short notice; it was due two days later. I spent a couple of hours composing it that night. I spent a few hours making changes to be sure I had a good letter the second night. I called the employer the next day to ask how and where to send it. They told me the guy withdrew his name from consideration for the job.

I certainly know the letter I will compose the next time he asks me....