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Let's Be Lindsey Graham's Campaign Headquarters!!

I'm the new Associate Campaign Director. At 25, this is my first job in politics. I get $7,500 a month and my own office. I've told everyone that the Senator personally hired me after reading my resume on LinkedIn, but these jealous bitches think it was Grindr instead.

by Anonymousreply 72October 16, 2020 6:51 PM

I'm the doilies on every table.

by Anonymousreply 1October 7, 2020 9:03 PM

I'm the couch. I'm hidden just offstage for those inevitable moments when Miss Lindz gets the vapors.

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by Anonymousreply 2October 7, 2020 9:04 PM

I'm the beautiful red, white, and blue bunting, precisely ironed by the Senatrice herself.

by Anonymousreply 3October 7, 2020 9:06 PM

I am getting KILLED by the Dems' fundraising.

by Anonymousreply 4October 7, 2020 9:13 PM

I'm gin and regret.

by Anonymousreply 5October 7, 2020 9:14 PM

I am the stink of desperation, Old Spice, and old man breath that lingers around the building, which everyone swears is haunted by the ghost of John McCain

by Anonymousreply 6October 7, 2020 9:16 PM

I'm the ladybugs.

by Anonymousreply 7October 7, 2020 11:28 PM

I'm the filing cabinet full of the recent NDAs, filed under K for kindness of strangers.

by Anonymousreply 8October 7, 2020 11:34 PM

I'm the heavy set Slavic man in a black raincoat that just walks in the office, makes eye contact with Lindsey, and leaves. The staff doesn't understand why they can't get restraining order against me.

by Anonymousreply 9October 7, 2020 11:46 PM

I'm Miss Lindsey's refusal to take a coronavirus test.....because deep down I know I'm POZ!!!!!

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by Anonymousreply 10October 9, 2020 2:26 AM

We are the fingernails, bitten to the bone.

by Anonymousreply 11October 9, 2020 2:30 AM

I’m the fresh blouses in case the Senatrice’s chicken salad creates unsightly stains.

by Anonymousreply 12October 9, 2020 2:33 AM

I am Great-Aunt Percival's heirloom bottle of Quelques Fleurs. My contents are being liberally applied to cover the noxious stench of stress B.O.

by Anonymousreply 13October 9, 2020 2:36 AM

I'm the DVD player which always seems to have been used after hours when the Senator has been working late, alone, although no dvds are ever to be found anywhere in the vicinity.

by Anonymousreply 14October 9, 2020 2:36 AM

I'm grammy's red brocade portières

by Anonymousreply 15October 9, 2020 2:39 AM

I’m the suitcase in the closet full of clothes worn by that nice young man who works in the Capitol Police Dept. He perspires so much when he comes to, uh, volunteer at my office in Columbia. He could change at the Y over on Hampton but this so much more convenient.

by Anonymousreply 16October 9, 2020 2:49 AM

I'm the video head cleaner; I get delivered like clockwork every few weeks.

by Anonymousreply 17October 9, 2020 2:57 AM

I’m the Chapstick used to soothe Lindsay’s lips after a long day kissing tRump’s fat ass.

by Anonymousreply 18October 10, 2020 1:26 PM

I'm the interior

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by Anonymousreply 19October 10, 2020 1:31 PM

I'm the dented Maxwell House can being passed around the office to fundraise for our next ad buy. In me there is a button, some lint, and $1.35 in various coins.

by Anonymousreply 20October 10, 2020 1:35 PM

Miss Lindz in no poosie grabber. We want Trump!

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by Anonymousreply 21October 10, 2020 2:00 PM

I'm the stack of cum-stained girlie magazines in his desk drawer. (Although DNA analysis would show none of the jizz is his.)

by Anonymousreply 22October 10, 2020 2:08 PM

I'm the uniform kept in my private, locked closet at the campaign headquarters. I wear it after hours, after the staff leave, when my handlers pay me a visit.

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by Anonymousreply 23October 10, 2020 2:10 PM

I’m the intern who knows how to use Photoshop and spends every day darkening Jamie Harrison’s skin color in our campaign ads.

by Anonymousreply 24October 10, 2020 2:19 PM

[quote]In me there is a button, some lint, and $1.35 in various coins.

Hey! There's a $50 bill! Oh, wait -- it's Confederate currency.

Never mind.

by Anonymousreply 25October 10, 2020 2:24 PM

I’m the Latino College Freshman, I get $30.00/hr to organize papers and I’ve got a 9.5” dick.

by Anonymousreply 26October 10, 2020 2:59 PM

We're his office staff, wearing the proscribed Graham uniform.

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by Anonymousreply 27October 10, 2020 3:51 PM

i'm the intern on grindr making plans for November 4

by Anonymousreply 28October 10, 2020 4:43 PM

I’m the heady smell emanating from the couch, somewhere between old cheese and rose water splash. Upon closer inspection, there appears to be several heel scuff marks On the top pillows and skidmarks festooned among the dizzying patterns.

by Anonymousreply 29October 10, 2020 4:53 PM

MAGA guy in SC adores Lindsey.

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by Anonymousreply 30October 10, 2020 5:06 PM

I am Miss Lindsey grinning in R21's photo, while imagining that I AM the blond with big boobs that I have my arm around.

by Anonymousreply 31October 10, 2020 5:06 PM

Lindsey loves her hat. Wants one like it.

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by Anonymousreply 32October 10, 2020 5:09 PM

Having a wide stance moment.

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by Anonymousreply 33October 10, 2020 5:12 PM

Orange Con's pee pee hoes???

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by Anonymousreply 34October 10, 2020 5:16 PM

I'm the box of garterbelts and nylons on the bottom shelf of the credenza

by Anonymousreply 35October 10, 2020 5:21 PM
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by Anonymousreply 36October 10, 2020 5:21 PM

I am the jealous gays on here who wish they could be working for Le Senatrice~

by Anonymousreply 37October 10, 2020 5:29 PM

[quote]I’m the Latino College Freshman, I get $30.00/hr to organize papers and I’ve got a 9.5” dick.

Hey, papi ... I know a way you can make 10 times that amount!

by Anonymousreply 38October 10, 2020 6:01 PM

I'm the mint juleps.

by Anonymousreply 39October 10, 2020 6:26 PM

r39 Are those anything like the ladybugs?

by Anonymousreply 40October 10, 2020 8:24 PM

I'm Lindsey telling people that black people can go anywhere in South Carolina....as long as they aren't liberal!

Anywhere includes my boudoir!

by Anonymousreply 41October 10, 2020 9:40 PM

Where are the media and black commentators complaining and exposing Graham's campaign for a racist tactic? Making Harrison look noticeably darker in their ads is so dirty.

by Anonymousreply 42October 10, 2020 10:19 PM

I’m the black butt plug that the Senatrice inserts as she sits behind her desk ordering around the new interns.

by Anonymousreply 43October 10, 2020 10:50 PM

I'm his Depends undergarments.

Why does he only have one pair? I have been washed and dried, washed and dried, wash and dried and often washed and not even dried.

A few times I haven't been washed at all.

by Anonymousreply 44October 10, 2020 10:54 PM

We are the pool boys. There’s no pool.

by Anonymousreply 45October 10, 2020 11:04 PM

I'm the offshore bank account funded by Oleg Deripaska

I'm also the .jpgs of the Senatrice cavorting with божьи коровки

In other words, I'm the carrot AND the stick

by Anonymousreply 46October 10, 2020 11:07 PM

Ladybird's Inner Sanctum "Interview Room."

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by Anonymousreply 47October 10, 2020 11:16 PM

I'm the dry cleaning budget, those petticoat stains really add up.

by Anonymousreply 48October 10, 2020 11:20 PM

Interns are told to remember this photo when asked by the salt-of-the-earth types back home if Ladybird liked pussy.

They are instructed to say, "Yes, I know for a fact that the Senatrice LOVES pussy, and I ain't lyin', sir."

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by Anonymousreply 49October 10, 2020 11:20 PM

R47, all that's missing is the princess phone (which she dials with a pencil)

by Anonymousreply 50October 10, 2020 11:24 PM

I am the "massage oil" in Ladybird's office "workout" room.

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by Anonymousreply 51October 10, 2020 11:27 PM

I am the music played over the Graham campaign's office sound system:

Toby Keith, Wayne Newton, and the soundtracks to FOLLIES, MAME, GYPSY and PAJAMA GAME.

by Anonymousreply 52October 10, 2020 11:35 PM

R37 needs to start signing his posts the “u jelly” troll.

Nobody’s jealous of that dope. Get some new material.

by Anonymousreply 53October 11, 2020 12:02 AM

R47 that’s the new bed since he remodeled. Here’s Lindsay relaxing in his previous bed.

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by Anonymousreply 54October 11, 2020 12:07 AM

R52, maybe replace Toby with Kenny Chesney, especially after that "conference" they both attended in Barbados in 2011 that left Ladybird with such a sunburn on the soles of his feet and backs of his legs from the beach meetings - a real mystery.

Toby, after all, turned the Senatrice down for a "contribution" to what he calls her "personal little pink piggy bank."

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by Anonymousreply 55October 11, 2020 12:11 AM

I'm the phone call from Trump. I am nowhere to be found.

by Anonymousreply 56October 11, 2020 12:13 AM

I am the photographs of Senators John McCain and Cory Gardner that Lindsay moons over.

by Anonymousreply 57October 11, 2020 12:18 AM

I'm Auntie Bellum, his drag name, also used on hook up sites.

by Anonymousreply 58October 11, 2020 12:22 AM

The Intern from Bob Jones U. is quite smitten with La Senatrice and is desperately trying to control his urges.

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by Anonymousreply 59October 11, 2020 1:08 AM

I'm the Chief of Staff.

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by Anonymousreply 60October 11, 2020 1:13 AM

Poor guy at r59 finally finding relief.

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by Anonymousreply 61October 11, 2020 1:16 AM

Young 'Volunteers' wearing their masks.

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by Anonymousreply 62October 11, 2020 1:26 AM

The mature menz ready to campaign for Lindz too.

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by Anonymousreply 63October 11, 2020 1:32 AM

^^ Lindz is probably thinking: "What use are all these bottoms??"

by Anonymousreply 64October 11, 2020 1:35 AM

Lindz seeks "diversity" volunteers to show in the campaign ads.

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by Anonymousreply 65October 11, 2020 1:39 AM

I'm the black rubber gimp costume hanging in Lady G's closet for those special visits to the White House!

by Anonymousreply 66October 11, 2020 1:40 AM

I am the convertible that rides the okra festival parade queen.

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by Anonymousreply 67October 11, 2020 1:47 AM

I’m the signed underwear of Brett Kavanaugh.

by Anonymousreply 68October 11, 2020 1:52 AM

I'm one of Brett's old beer steins, which I lovingly caress every hour

by Anonymousreply 69October 11, 2020 2:25 AM

R9 what heavy set Slavic man?

by Anonymousreply 70October 11, 2020 2:40 AM

I'm the rubber gloves given out to any male staffer who wants to see and touch the ladybugs.

by Anonymousreply 71October 16, 2020 3:36 PM

Menz! Menz! I mean business!

by Anonymousreply 72October 16, 2020 6:51 PM
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