Things in porn that ruin a scene for you.

Bottoms who don't get hard and tops who have sponge-dick.

Pimples on anybody's ass.

Some guys have this weird protruding bone at the top of their asscrack. It's not super common, but when I see it that's it.

The men watching straight porn and hearing screeching females.

Any use of the phrases "breed me" "seed me" or "load me up".

🐞Ladybugs are MY calling card. Porn actors with the 'bugs' are not the same.

There’s an annoying trend toward putting women (in non-sex roles) in gay porn, usually playing a wife or mother. It’s a complete dick-wilter and it needs to stop.

R3, that is called a vestigial tail, and it is super-creepy.

Licking their hand to lube cock, those little socklets that look like ballet slippers, huge moles or skin tags, looking at phone while jerking off, typing while jerking so that the arm always blocks the cock action, edging for hours on end, hairy men who just shave their pubes so it leaves a weird hairless triangle.

Women.

No kissing

Condoms

Pulling out for the cum shot

Spitting

Baseball caps, especially turned around backwards

Jock straps

R11 kissing between men is gross and beta. No thanks.

emotions

socks

Acne. Anal warts.

I like jockstraps and baseball caps on a hot guy

R12 that is some primo psychological baggage you got

Prolapsing rectums. It’s time for a retread dear.

Although it is less common these days, non-diegetic music ruins any scene.

Bottoms who are overly dramatic. OMG OOHHHH OH MY GOD IT'S SO BIG.

Shut your fucking mouth already.

Horrible dialogue - and any references to 'man cunts' 'man pussy' 'bussy' etc. Any homophobic dialogue like "Take my cock faggot". Actually tops who won't stop talking "Yeah! Take it. Oh yeah love that butt" just SHUT UP already.

I much prefer amateur porn anyway, you get a wider range of men and you can tell the guys are really into each other.

When the fucking top isn't rock hard. Viagra is cheap, dumbasses. If you're not into it, either don't do it, or take a pill.

Just when you think its safe to go back in the dating pool water, freaky ass cunts like R12 and R13 show up and spoil everything.

Excessive dialogue, external cumshots, women, face snacking.

Poor grammar.

When they don't show the actual entry of top into bottom. There's a quick cut, then they're fucking - what the hell happened there?

Not ruin necessarily, but the presence in a scene of books or dvds makes me try to read the titles and distracts from the sex. I can't help it.

dirty feet

When they try to make an actual story, but the acting is just so bad it's comical.

"Oh, I guess my pizza is here. Hey, you're a really sexy pizza delivery guy."

"Oh thanks, you too. Can I have a tip?"

"Sure (pulls out dick) here's your tip right here."

R20 you sound faggy: topping is about dominance. Nobody wants to see a masc top kiss a faggot. That’s beta and gay.

Outdoor sex scenes. Can only think of mosquitos

Shaved bodies Too much muscles Silly haircuts Those stupid socks that look like the ones they give in hospital Overstyled eyebrows Piss Piercings Twinks Leather Small penises Fat queens Scenes in showers or pools Women

Sorry for the lack of punctuation, I had typed it as a list

The handle "Pissfag" says all there is to know about the mental/psychological state of its owner. Avoid at all costs and run for your life.

R33 yeh I blocked that thing a long time ago.

Dirk Caber's maniacal, frightening cackle

Anyone looking for a good laugh should check out Griffin Barrows' non-studio porn. He is so obnoxious. I'm pretty sure he's on the autism spectrum...and possibly mentally handicapped.

The sad thing is, in terms of looks he's just my type. But as soon as he opens his mouth my dick shrivels up.

I agree with R12/R13. Gay porn shouldn't be like breeder porn. Kissing is lame, beta, and faggy. Most recip turns me off: bottoms are just faggots, holes to be used. I have ZERO interest in a bottom's pleasure or orgasm in porn. And I say this as a strict bottom myself. I just want to see the top use the bottom faggot like the inferior cumdump he is.

Females

Dirty feet, leaving socks on even though you are naked. Rimming. All gross.

R20 there's literally nothing hotter than a masc top calling a bottom a faggot and feminizing him by calling him out for having a macunt or boipussy.

Your schtick might have been cutting edge and trendy in 1970, R37, but it just sounds completely lame right now.

For added lameness factor, why not don your leather vest and assless chaps and head over to the nearest Village People concert. You'll fit right in.

R39 I agree tops rimming bottoms is beta and faggy. Total dick wilter.

Earrings

CAFTANS

Well, they just about ALL say it, but when the top says "Suck that dick" and not "Suck my dick," I'm out. It sounds like he referring to an object, not something that's part of him.

Incest, "straight", homophobia in general.

R46 = uppity faggot. Take that dick in your asspussy, boy.

Diarrhea

The Men.com thing where they have a woman in the scene who is supposed to be the "straight" guy's wife and keeps popping back in while the "gay" guy is having sex with him.

e.g., "Not in front of my salad!"

"fuck yeah!" on endless loop

When clothes suddenly magically come off in a cut scene. I look watching a guy being undressed, and when they cut that, it annoys the fuck out of me.

When a guy, but especially one billed as straight is sucking dick, show us his cock as well. I want to know if he's hard or soft will giving CPR to another man's cock.

Guys who squeal and screech like women while bottoming. If you are going to take it like a man, sound like one.

Endless clinical closeups up of penetration. Too many cutaways so that you never get into the action - or lose track of who’s who in the scene.

Foreskin

I hate pulling out to cum. Would rather see the top's dick pulse while he cums inside, then let the cum drip out when he's done.

Actors looking at or being conscious of the camera.

Thanks R29 - but as someone who has actually topped in porn, unlike you I expect, I know what I'm talking about.

Not a fan of excessive noise, it has to sound natural and not forced. It's also annoying when it's very one-note - Damien Crosse is a consistent offender for this, he just goes "uh uh uh uh uh uh uh" constantly and it's so off-putting regardless of whether the actual fucking is hot.

I'm not a fan of excessive tattoos or really hairy shoulders/backs/butts.

Dicks that look sore. You know what I mean.

Prolapse assholes are definitely a scene ruiner.

Not into watching any fucking where neither of them seem into it, whether it's the bottom who looks like they are just in discomfort or pain the whole time, or a top who is so thoroughly disengaged they might as well be sticking their cock into a pile of jello. If they are not into it, I'm not into it.

Not a fan of degradation at all, slapping round the face, spitting in the face etc.

I don't personally like feminine lingerie, although I am a fan of other gear like jockstraps, harnesses etc.

[quote] Dicks that look sore. You know what I mean.

I agree with this one. Your dickhead isn't supposed to be red. Stop doing blow/meth and jerking off for 12 hours solid before your shoot. It looks gross.

R58 I’m a total bottom.

Tattoes, bush, too much armpit hair

“Let me give you a blowjob”

“No! I ain’t gay.”

“Come on.”

“Well..... OK.”

PORN itself is ruined. Was it the virus? All that posed cock day after day? I don't know. But now I get off looking at mugshots. Some of the dudes are so intense. I know it's probably one of the worst days in their lives. But some guys just look into the camera with such bravery, Just how they might look at somebody they want to fuck. There's a movement afoot to take down published mugshots, and I understand it, but I'll be sorry to see that day Don't judge

[quote] Too much muscles

r31 = Janet Weiss

Role-playing porn where there clearly isn’t a budget for wardrobe. I especially hate seeing a performer in a business suit that is a few sizes too big.

Guys with large, runny boils on their necks.

Tunnel holes, rosebuds, fisting, and guys that push a load out of their holes.

Unkempt fingernails and/or toenails.

Hemorrhoids or other anal skin tags.

Nipple piercings, piercings on the cock or near the asshole (nasty).

Dirty feet.

Drag queen eyebrows.

Those awful ankle socks. Once I saw a guy wearing them while getting fucked on his back, and they were covered in cat hair. Just take off the socks!!

Scenes where someone's hagged-out "mother" is showing up.

Tops (or guys receiving oral) who can't get hard.

Crapping/farting out the cum wad afterward.

Spitting at any time.

... and all those goddamned tattoos. All these stupid guys are looking like lizards.

It's TRAYSH!. TRAYSH, I tell you!

R64 forgot to sign her post. How’s your mussy today, Momma?

Spitting.

Gagging. (I don't want to watch you practising deep-throathing. If you can't do it, don't!)

Men who suck dick like women. (I.e. just having it in your mouth and gagging on it, but not actually [italic]sucking[/italic] it.)

People who waste time not actually sucking the cock. (You're supposed to SUCK it.)

Unrelated, but I had to call to change the internet to our new condo and it was obvious the Spectrum operator was new and kept breathing, grunting and gasping on the phone while coordinating the task on his PC. He had a breathy voice that was friggin HAWT.

If my husband wasn’t in the other room I might have fapped the entire time.

Professionally produced porn is not a turn on at all for me anymore. Shaved androgynous passionless beings - blech. I really only enjoy amateur, especially anonymous scenarios, or real hidden camera, however please turn off the TV/radio, especially if there is straight porn on and I can hear some screaming twat in the background. Also put the damn cat/dog in another room. And please stop shaving your pubic hair -a trim will do! It's so gross.

R74 post some of those amateur videos here. I agree that good amateur porn is better than pro porn, but it’s so hard to track down the good stuff.

R72 is telling you NOW so she doesn’t have to tell you THEN.

You rang.

Nelly voices, shaved pits/crotch, unexpected MTF, surprise fisting, dog barking/crying, ass to mouth, foot worship, human waste, & extreme violence.

Asians

rimming

Guys that read their dialogue in an queeny, overly affected way and sound like a floozy from an old B movie.

I juuuuuuust got out of prison and I’m soooooooo horny.

Fake moaning and groaning and I know it shouldn't but the site of a biohazard or scorpion tattoo is an instant click to next video.

Are/were you a name anyone here would recognize R20? Just curious.

One of the funniest things I've seen in porn was a SeanCody model getting creampied and saying, "Oooo, it's so warm!" The delivery was hilarious.

R80, Seriously?

Weird sports gear. I clicked on a video a few weeks ago and a guy sauntered out wearing one of those padded boxing helmets. Uh, ok... Though it was probably for the best as the guy turned out to be dick-wilter Adam Russo.

R82, what does a scorpion tattoo mean?

Bahahaha, good call, R78, "unexpected FTM" - baaaaarf!

i'm tired of sex being meted out as punishment...some twink is caught "spying" on a top or stealing something of his only to be fucked/force fed dick as a corrective measure.

I also don't understand the fake incest thing...intergenerational fucking can be plenty hot, but why add the family dynamic? Most scenes don't even go all the way, casting the older guy as a stepfather or family friend.

Women, tattoos and FTMs.

As R89 wrote, I can enjoy intergenerational sex and also like incest scenarios, but there's something very off-putting of scenes featuring twinks who are made up to appear under-aged and sometimes in "abusive" sex, often where they whine, beg or cry not to be fucked.

[quote]made up to appear under-aged and sometimes in "abusive" sex, often where they whine, beg or cry not to be fucked.

You're talking about 99.8% of Japanese straight porn. 🇯🇵⛩️👺

Big, hangy-looking hemmorhoids. Constant repetition of the same sex talk. Gross-looking feet. Dingleberries, obviously. Ugly people.

dirty feet x 100

The talking. It's so fake.

Bareback porn fake laughing. 'Fuck, yeah - HA! HA! HA!'. So annoying. Adam Russo was a bid offender.

The dumb gay for pay pornos with 50 twinks standing around fake cheering while two twinks go at it.

Guys who start moaning and groaning the second the other guy's mouth touches his cock.

[quote] Big, hangy-looking hemmorhoids.

What kind of porn are you watching? I’ve never seen this, ever. Thankfully.

Armond Rizzo.

It's supposed to be another poz tattoo R87 or at least that's what the internet in all it's wisdom says.

When they speak, and flaming purses fall out of their mouths (or other inflamed orifices on display).

Drag queens and/or women in “non-speaking roles”.

Too much story, weird music or artsy fartsy production.

Felching or fisting

Peanut butter bottoms

Profanity. I enjoy watching but al the swearing is offensive. So many f bomds.

Whenever the tops check for the camera in the middle of thrusting.

Amateur porn with pop music or blaring TVs playing in the background.

Queens with yappy small dogs that either bark non stop in another room or get on the bed or walk around mid-action.

Gay for pay and any scene involving twinks they're just creepy.

Most of it lately. It’s just not worth the trouble.

I agree, R106.

I'm a fellow prude. I hate it when they exclaim that four letter word for excrement whilst ramming the other's excretory canal.

Most porn is gross.

A beautiful naked aroused man is incredibly erotic; but the act of fucking - while it obviously feels wonderful - is actually sort of absurd to watch. There aren't very many angles that don't make me as a viewer feel like a phantom proctologist. And the soundtracks to these things are almost universally vile, from the tacky music to the constant "fuck yeah...fuck yeah!" or homophobic-sounding profanity. Not to mention all the "straight jock" BS where the guys go at it as if they're essentially blowing their noses. Or the piles of clothes left on the floor.

I have come to really prefer erotic photography, where the lighting, settings and body language are all far more professional, the men are not only beautiful but look aroused and I don't have to listen to them not being able to act.

Kristen Bjorn is about the only porn studio I can think of that attempts to create scenes that seem erotic and well-photographed. The fact that the cast usually are not English speaking helps a lot.

[quote]Peanut butter bottoms

What is a peanut butter bottom?

Anything having to do with feet or footwear.

R113, Any man named Skippy, Rose.

I looooove dirty feet and fingernails. I really do. Even better if I can imagine the guy stinking a little. Sorry.

I HAAAAATE:

Pierced dicks & nipples. Shaved pubes. (I will immediately turn it off.) Queeny bottoms whining while getting fucked. Spitting on the bottom’s asshole and then licking it. (WHAT IS THE POINT. You’re just licking up your own cold spit now. WHY?) Queeny pop/dance music. Brightly colored jock straps or bikini briefs. Too many tattoos of any kind. Hairy beefy “bear” types. That cheesy buzzed-up-the-sides haircut. ENOUGH.

And all of the above are reasons why I usually prefer classic porn (pre-videotape) over contemporary porn. The best current porn is Chaos Men and Broke Straight Boys, if I can find performers who can refrain from doing most of the list above.

Leather harnesses, spit, boots that had to be put back on after they were fully naked, ugly feet

I prefer amateur as long as it's not gross and that you can actually see and hear what's going on.

limps

one arm shorter than the other

What in the Quasimodo hell kind of porn site have you been visiting, R120.

Pretending to rim, when it's completely obvious one or all partners aren't doing it.

Professional porn...Amateur is best.

The presence of Billy Santoro's botoxed face.

femme gay guys

R112 You are a connoisseur and an aesthete!

We're now able to expect higher standards of erotica because there so much of it so freely variable over these last 15 year or so. We have the traditional gay erotica but also the erotic private selfies by increasingly flirty heterosexual men.

We're now able to expect higher standards because we notice so many more things that are a 'turn-off' rather than a 'turn-on'. And that makes me think I agree with you in preferring erotic photography over erotic movies in that all those jarring turn-offs can be controlled and removed.

- Vaginas - Prolapsed anuses - Dirty feet - Limp dicks

Surprise bootlicking. I understand bowing to the top's feet that whole dominance/submission thing, but when the sub starts licking the top of the guy's boot then the then the top lifts his foot and he starts licking the bottom with the dirt and guck on it.

Nasty!

if theyr hairy

Can't watch a scene that includes someone who died.

Condoms.

And guys who blow then refuse to savor the cum.

I like gay porn that’s actually gay. So, give me all the queeny voices, effeminate mannerisms, and drag queens in non-sex roles and keep the jock straps, baseball caps, and talk of “girlfriends” and “wives” away from me.

I also like porn with a storyline, production values, and a bit of humor. I need to be more broadly entertained and am not interested in amateur porn with bad lighting in some dingy little apartment.

You know you're getting old when you watch porn and start to look and critique the decor rather than the action.

Eating fudge

People like R37 are the complete opposite of sexy. Probably awful in and out of bed.

Did they die during the scene, R30?

'roid backne

twinks

shaved body parts

bottoms who don't even wince when a giant cock slips inside them

Bald guys, condoms, sex in the kitchen, sex in the bathroom, sex outdoors, an overabundance of tattoos, pissing, sex with more than three people, sex with people wearing too much clothing (Men At Play), and guys who pretend to be straight (I've never done this before but I'll try...)

When the dude is jerking the dick while he's sucking it. Bitch, I don't want to watch your fucking hand. I want to watch the DICK. Stop obscuring the view of the cock, you fucking idiot!!!

Guys getting barebacked and begging for loads because they just sound desperate on top of being obviously damaged.

High pitched moaning bottoms who sound as if a 1000 purses fell out of their mouth. Complete turn off.

Bottoms calling their tops daddy.

Shaved pubes to the point of being smoother than a new born.

Post scene interview. How was it for you Joe..would you come back etc. Keep up the illusion/fantasy fellas.

R136, that gives new meaning to the term "fucked to death".

Long(-ish) acrylic fingernails. I've seen this on an otherwise hot, masc black top (!) from Blacksonboys. And he put those talons into the poor bottom's hole!

Camera angles that result in a close-up of someone's foot soles. I actually get turned on by feet sometimes, but I prefer to look at them from a safe distance as there's usually something unsavoury going on down there. Plus, those camera angles are weird and unaesthetic anyway.

Hearing the director/camera man giving instructions in the background. Seriously?! If you expect me to pay for your porn (yes, I did), do your fucking job and cut that shit or re-shoot the scene without the babbling.

On a related note: bad editing. When the top tells the bottom to bend over, I don't wanna see them do it missionary style in the next scene.

masculine men lusting after masculine men. Two mirrors fucking

Pasty pink flesh tones in close up

[quote]I need to be more broadly entertained and am not interested in amateur porn with bad lighting in some dingy little apartment.

It's funny to think how we're actually seeing a lot of their real apartments now in the age of COVID.

^ Though I've noticed occasional signs on the back of doors which makes me think the pornographers have hired a hotel room

Dildos....lately Lucas Ent (yes, I know) has a dildo Moment. It is boring.

Faking interest in the other guy with moans and groans, while your dick shows absolutely NO interest at all.

That, and all the tedious ANAL CLOSEUPS. SO mechanical, no passion, no seduction. Just mechanics...

Ooooh oooooh...has anyone said vaginas yet??

This will sound strange, but I used to be really hot for this straight porn guy, then in a scene he had a band-aid on his leg and that's all I could focus on and I completely lost interest in him after that.

That amateur anon bullshit that's just sad.

Even worse if faked studio “amateur” porn

*is.

Yeah, dildos. WTF you got a divk. Use it.

The girlie moaning is an instant dick wilter, but the "fuck, yeah" over and over sucks as well.

Horrible sterile environments. I know I'm here to see dick, but can we get a bit of ambiance once in a while?

[quote]Amateur porn with pop music or blaring TVs playing in the background.

I discovered the band Clap Your Hands Say Yeah because some dude was getting fucked to it blasting in the background.

I hate outdoor scenes.

I don't mind piss play but the actual swallowing is a turn off.

Porn is worthless without good ole pee pee.

A storyline.

Like, who is interested in that aspect.

Using the phrase man pussy to describe their ass.

Foot play that lasts longer than a minute. I know it's a common fetish, but it's very much not one of mine. If you're directing your models to lick feet and suck toes for 10 minutes before paying any attention to cock or ass, you should market that as fetish porn not mainstream.

I've never watched porn and felt it was improved or enhanced by music. Why is music even in porn? Did anyone ever get hard listening to music?

Vagina.

Calling your ass a pussy, huge turn-off

Shaved butts and crotches

Ridiculous positions that no one in real life would ever do

I don't get the butt slapping. Obvious, fake moaning and fake dirty talk also turn me off.

Leather

over the top fake moaning and dirty talk obviously but also complete silence .... like when all I can hear is the bed springs creaking or some shit. There has to be a happy medium.

when a guy is eating ass and the top poops in his mouth accidentally.....hate when that hppens to me

Shaved pubes will ruin it for me. Makes dick look smaller, not bigger. And frankly, it looks like sex with a minor, which is a BIG turn-off.

Hair on the backs

I like them to be real. I don't like a "performance" with fake moans and oohhs and aahhs. I want the real deal. Spontaneity.

Sticky lube - like when the skin of the bottom sticks to the top when they’re banging.

I totally get it, R151. Band-aids disgust me, especially the ugly brown ones.

Anyone featuring a performer named Steele because they're all gross and fucked up.

Shaved bodies, black on white, dirty feet, dirty houses

^ Black on white is worse than white on black?

Baseball caps, especially turned around backwards

R11 You need to get rid of your 90's porn, dear.

Cucumber sandwiches

They are the same 176

Guys mugging for the camera and amateur porn where every guy involved is watching the action through a phone camera.

The presence of any woman or vagina at any point, clothed or unclothed. Also feminine moaning, especially from a masculine guy.

R84 Are you talking about this one? LOL

I just remembered another one. In ostensibly amateur porn like Sketchy Sex where the cameramen are all extremely young MORONS who don’t know how to operate a camera and either don’t focus on the good stuff or think to zoom out every once in a while so we can see *who* the performers actually are.

Seriously, Sketchy Sex was so good when it started, but it’s gotten to be as annoying as FraternityX, and the guys they’ve been hiring to perform have gotten way grosser in a number of ways.

Miss matched bedding

Spitting, slapping, any of that puppy/furry bullshit and guys that look like they spend their lives offset in bathhouses and sex clubs taking on all comers.

Camera on a tripod 10 feet away, poor shot composition, bodies cut off, faces hidden, too much of the ugly room in the shot, no lighting, long take take in the same position for 10 minutes of robotic sex. Cut to another long take of robotic sex in a different position, poor shot composition, no lighting, camera on a tripod for 10 feet away, for another 10 minutes...

Prelubed paws and sticky fur.

Repeated slow motion cum shots.

No kissing? No watch.

Discarded lube bottles

An obvious straight man, rigid everywhere but his cock and disgusted by his scene partner touching him, while straight porn plays loudly off camera.

I tell you what I hate too, is where there isn't enough room for the scene.

3 guys on a 2 seat sofa.

Two guys stuck behind a coffee table.

Guys giving blow jobs to one another is much better than a woman giving a blowjob to a guy...

Because a woman with long hair giving a blow job to a guy drives me fucking crazy. The woman's long hair (or a guy's long hair) always gets in the way blocking the view of the dick. Get your goddamn hair out of the way!! The whole point of a blow job is to see the dick, the whole dick unobstructed.

When they stop fucking and jerk themselves off to completion.

Lisps

Poppers.

[quote]Because a woman with long hair giving a blow job to a guy drives me fucking crazy. The woman's long hair (or a guy's long hair) always gets in the way blocking the view of the dick. Get your goddamn hair out of the way!! The whole point of a blow job is to see the dick, the whole dick unobstructed.

There's also the fact that men are just better at it.

Part of the appeal of a blowjob is visual, though, so the sex matters to the recipient.

Not douching enough pre scene.

women's boobs getting slapped: can someone explain why this became a technique in bed?

Cut dicks and condoms.

I watch a lot of gay porn and I am surprised at the number of ads featuring women and their vaginas (ew!). Where is their marketing department? It is called targeting your prospective clients....

[quote] I don't get the butt slapping.

What gay planet do you live on?

R202 I don't understand that either!

Women, I want a woman in the White House but not in my gay porn.

The actors being too loud, and repetitive, you can only scream OH MY GOD so many times, I watch most porn with the sound muted.

Shit. There was one scene in particular I saw with straight porn star Will Power, and he clearly had yellowish brownish shit on his ass hole. It's like he didn't even attempt to wipe his ass.

You like that big cock concha type of dialogue.

^ I actually find that kind of dialogue hot...as long as a purse doesn’t fall out when they’re saying it!

R208 I don't mind a bit of appreciative dialogue, it's when there's nothing else but.

I just can't get into a scene if it's obvious the two guys are not into each other (or at least one of them clearly isn't into the other). Paycheck or no paycheck, not every guy can convincingly fake attraction to the other person just because it's their job. They can't even really get their dicks hard but instead just fluffed enough so that it "appears" as if they're turned on when they're really not. And then add in all the fake screaming and moaning and that's when I have to shut it off and find another video.

As others have stated, I actually think gay porn has become less hot over the years. I still have videos saved from 15 and nearly 20 years ago that still get me off far harder and faster than some of the stuff I'm downloading today (for many of the reasons stated in this thread).

I think poor camera work is a turn off too.

When someone is eating your ass, that is the wrong time to say "Oh, shit!"

That's a faux Pas.

Never showing the top's ass from behind.

Pussy

Having a woman involved specifically to establish that one or more of the male characters is nominally straight.

If a story is involved, I don't mind if ladies are present as characters, but not as part of the above scenario, which is simply insulting (and misogynistic).

I seen a lot of porn lately where they don't show anyone's face, just the genitals smashing together. I need to see everyone's face to get aroused.

look yes R217.

I do hate extensive filming of the action, in close up, but no face shots. I want to see the bottom reacting to the GOP's moves.

Dirty feet.

Towels on a concrete floor

Actors who are obviously on drugs. I've seen videos where the bottom seemed so strung out I felt like I was witnessing a rape.

[quote]I watch most porn with the sound muted.

I sometimes try to combine a muted video with the audio from a video playing in another tab, but the timing rarely works out.

This thread is pointless without pictures...

Antimacassars

Really only like amateur. Shut the damned TV/Radio off, put the dog/cat in another room and stop shaving your pubic hair off.

Flat feet

Bad music

Piles

[quote] Antimacassars

WHAT?

I never thought that not showing the top’s ass was enough to ruin a porn scene for me, but it is something I’m always hoping for, and I do get really frustrated when it doesn’t happen. There is no reason to hide the top’s asshole. In fact, it’s probably the one thing visually about a top in a fucking scene that’s basically guaranteed to be a turn-on for me. You can’t always count on the penis—they can let you down in a number of ways—but seeing a top’s asshole while he’s fucking is always a sure thing.

Sure, hairy is better than shaved/waxed/etc., but any top hole is better than none.

Females

R227 These

Poppers! I watch a lot of amateur porn and the instant one or both guys start sucking on a bottle every few seconds I skip to another video.

a dirty house or set

Lube bottles

Completely naked guys keeping their baseball caps on.

Skin tags and moles around the neck.

Skin tags on the anus.

Pets coming into the scene. Put the cat out, stupid.

Foreskin!

Creepy, fake-color contact lenses.

Anything british royal family related. I'm only interested in fucking a man's ass, not princess dianas cooch.

R240 - I can't say I've seen a lot of the British royal family in the porn I've seen!

Tattoos with more than one sentence of text.

[quote]Anything british royal family related.

In [italic]porn? [/italic] What??

Dirty socks

Tattoos in Old English script

I love dirty socks. Makes me think they stink.

Guys trying to pass their videos as "straight guys on video" where the "straight" guy keeps looking into the camera.

Why would a guy who's straight (and an ex-con who needs money for drugs) looking into the camera be an issue?

Because the camera is supposed to be hidden R248 but it's obvious it's not.

[quote] Guys who squeal and screech like women while bottoming. If you are going to take it like a man, sound like one.

This one ^^^

Also shaved pubic hair. It makes the guy look pre-pubescent.

Ass fucking. Ass eating.

It’s the end of a scene. The top pulls out and re-positions to cum all over his scene partner’s face. The top has his eyes tightly shut in total concentration as he is jacking off (probably trying to imagine a woman). This goes on for what seems like forever. The model on the receiving end of the eventual load glances up with a slightly impatient and annoyed look...

Something that doesn't necessarily ruin a scene but that I find silly and lame: "spanking" the hole during butt play.

pimples on the face? maybe ok if the guys are young and don't look sickly

pimples on the back? see above.

Pimples from manscaping front or back or crack? NO. Maybe 1 or 2 is ok but it better be small.

Ruine: Open sores. Warts. Skin flaps. Suspected herpes blister.

______________________

Boring porn with no energy exchange - no matter how beautiful the guys - no.

Ugly tattoos. Gross loose looking holes.

Spitting owns this thread for me. Shaved pubic hair is a close second.

Long tedious minutes sucking a flaccid dick, usually a sure indicator of a disinterested straight performer.

Very bad music.

Offscreen directions from the director, usually someone who speaks with a very unsexy voice. Complete boner killer.

I hate when they turn right to the camera and start critiquing Cartesian dualism.

Stupid set-ups for sex. Looking at the camera instead of their partner. Looking at their phone. WTF???

hump backs

one arm longer than the other

Another vote for pimples.

Particularly on an ass.

When one of the performers has a biohazard or racist tattoo.

Biohazard is a big turnoff.

Especially when it's a bareback scene R262

R263 or even worse.

A chemsex BB scene

I don't like perfect shaved bodies, fake grunts and blindingly bright lighting. Or a jangly disco score thumping. Too much like a 'performance'.

I only like when it's a regular guy(s) and it looks like they propped a camera up on the furniture. Or had a third person film the action.

Awful carpeting or hardwood flooring

terrible kissing

Stained furniture.

R264, I assume that the chemsex participants are feeling something good, but watching a scene is such a bore. everyone is too spastic

Confined spaces

That awful "smacking" sound when the participants kiss.

Discarded clothing

Prancing

Mincing

Curtsying

Dialing phones with pencils

Badly dubbed grunts.

I hate it when I think the wrong guy tops.

[quote]It’s the end of a scene. The top pulls out and re-positions to cum all over his scene partner’s face. The top has his eyes tightly shut in total concentration as he is jacking off (probably trying to imagine a woman). This goes on for what seems like forever.

Yeah, it's always disappointing when this happens. You'd think fucking a hole bareback, if you're sufficiently turned on, would be enough to make you cum hands-free without having to pull out and finish yourself off. But then, to be fair, who knows how many scenes per day some of these guys have to film, so maybe it's not as easy as we think.

I hate it when the guy keeps talking, the guy's moan louder than the woman.

R276 -true, but a little editing could make a huge difference.

There are exceptions to almost all of these, but:

-The presence of any woman at all.

-Extended foot or nipple play.

-Long or weird hair.

-When it takes more than a minute for someone to get hard (if I’m attracted to a guy, I’m hard before I even touch my cock...).

-Prolapsed or leaking holes.

-A lack of kissing and/or mutual oral.

-Fetishizing a guy’s race or ethnicity.

Subtitles

Long hair and man buns.

Too many tattoos.

Dirty fingernails.

Dirty feet and toenails.

Bisexual scenes.

Pets

Anyone wearing an iWatch.

Tiny penises. Bottoms in real pain. Guys really bottoming for the first time. Guys who are obviously regretting it. Guys who look underage. Twin and "Brother" porn. Those penises. The ones that have been pushed back into the body until there is just a fleshy lump left. Disheartening,

Outdoor scenes in the wind

Long, untrimmed toenails. Ugh!!!

Shaved pubes. Keep it natural or slightly trimmed if too unruly.

Porn actors trying to act.

Endless dialogue

hairy bods, they aint beasts so SHAVE BB SHAVE

Pounding without passion. Just because a guy is plugging away at another guy's hole doesn't make the scene hot if there's no chemistry between them, which always just makes me turn it off.

Gay for pay performers and anyone named Caber, Steele, or Banks.

Weird, forced laughter

[quote] What are the things in porn that ruin a scene for you?

Over-familiarity. Familiarity breeds contempt.

Bottoms who don’t have any facial expressions when they get fucked.

Dubbing in of oohs and ahhs and fuck mes that no one is the scene is actually saying

Scenes where the actors have plucked all their body hair—like all of 80’s and 90’s porn

Cant watch condom porn any more

baked beans

more than three nipples

aswangs who bottom

overuse of split diopter shots

The stupid porn studios that hire ugly whores with femmy faggot voices and then make them talk a lot....these morons have no clue what the majority of gay men like.

when the man don't go up in the man

One word: tattoos

No rimming, this is most scenes from timtales, just stupid!

GILFs

nested framing devices

Wil Wheaton

A hairy hole

Tops not matter how good looking who can't get and stay hard.

Yes, I hate faffing about.

Telegrams!

When a top needs to finish with their hand in order to cum, stop casting those losers.

Non touch cum shots

cobwebs

SCAT.

No offense but when a women joins in.

Pre op porn

When it's advertised as "midget porn" and they use dwarfs instead!!

The moment you realize the "straight" guy really is straight and not having fun.

When someone says “buddy”. Stupid.

When it's advertised as "dwarf porn" and they use midgets instead!!

Love me some spitting in the mouth / woof!

I hate hate HATE when a super hot scene is ruined with no sound except techno music

Condoms

When they pick up Vicks Vapo-rub instead of lube.

Studio porn in general seems fake. I’ve seen room and behind the scenes to know the second the director says cut the moaning and everything stops and it was all for show. Hot amateur is the way to go for me

Hsemaphrodites

Guys who use terms like breed me, seed me, knock me up...etc and I know it's not kind to say but I can't watch known pos guys doing porn especially bareback porn.

The fucking.

The knitting

The music....jeez

Docking

I pass on anything having to do with fisting, feet, piss, scat, smoking, masks, man buns, drag queen eyebrows, socks (especially those stupid ankle socks), unkempt fingernails and toenails, long hair, weird hairstyles, m obesity, piercings, tattoos, excess freckles and moles, baseball caps (especially backward), prolapses, shitting out cum, condoms, acne, bukkake, vocal background music, pets in the room, He-Man physiques, stretch marks, varicose veins, anyone who looks underage, women, cops, military, Mormons, straight porn playing in the background, rapey scenes like pretty much everything in Machofucker and TimTales, spitting, smacking faces, pain, leather gear, bootlicking, furries, dirty-looking asses, warts, extra nipples, button dicks, tapered dicks, tiny balls, cock rings, limp dicks, poppers, and white briefs that look like diapers. Just for starters.

Plastic plants and flowers.

Mentions of 'bussy' or 'boy pussy'.

Pool boys or gardeners.