Joaquin Phoenix Reportedly Names Newborn Son After His Late Brother River

These two seem like a couple that would never engage in physical or verbal altercation, but would spend exhaustive hours devising intricate ways to murder each other without getting caught.

🤮

Congratulations, I guess. The child will have a rough go of it even without the inauspicious name, but a birth’s a birth.

Hope Rain isn’t taking the news too hard.

The Phoenixes are such a natty clan. The child will inherit a variety of mental health issues and an earth saviour complex. WEHT the child of Joaquin's father?

Oh, and Joaquin also has seriously deranged fans, not unlike Michael Jackson's.

Two autistic parents? Hold on, let me grab a Punnet square...

Maybe I’m not the only person who got a bit sad that he named his baby after River Phoenix. I’m surprised at how much that news hit me.

Well, [bold]there's[/bold] a legacy to live up to.

"Son, we named you after my brother, a fuck-up who died of an overdose of morphine and cocaine."

Not only is the baby named after a beloved, deceased relative but he's named after a superstar, also beloved and deceased. Yikes. It's a good thing that mommy and daddy can pay the therapy bills.

People were in tears on social media.

DL of course is barfing over the news.

On brand!

Wow, what a burden....What was he thinking....

My sympathies to Rooney, who will never be free of the psycho Phoenixes as long as she lives.

But not that much sympathy, if she didnt have the sense to sed the train wreck coming.

Oh, the hand wringing. I wish the family the best.

Phoenix is actually one of the nicest celebrities in the business. I’m a vegan and know a few people that have met him through his activism. They respect him greatly.

He loved his brother and him choosing to name his son after River is beautiful.

I’m so happy he found love. He struggled mightily.

DL is so soulless and disgusting at times.

Writing a book, hippie at r14? Why don't you go listen to some folk music and give me a break!

Is it true that her family cut her off after she hot involved with him?

And R14, I strongly suspect he's one of those straight leftie men who treats "his" woman like dirt. You know, the sort of man who's on a quest to right all the wrongs in the world, and is so sensitive and suffers so deeply for all the oppressed peoples and animals... and who expects "his" woman to give up everything else in her life to support him 100%? Because what he's doing is SO important and her needs aren't important because, and he needs someone to dump all his pain and anger on? You know, *those* guys.

He’s absolutely a woman-hating douche. It’s on record, lest we forget.

Praying for the kid, and glad it’s a boy for his own sake. I wouldn’t trust Joaquin to raise a daughter safely or appropriately, given the upbringing he had and the lack of familial boundaries he exhibits.

They should have used it as a middle name, not a first name. It's too much of a burden on a kid.

R16. I think the word you failed to find was crusader. I was bored by Joker. But, TBS, What the fuck have you done? You seem to be coming from a position of victimhood. Just fuck right off with that. She has her ability to choose. Who the fuck are you to judge? Have you thought she might support the ideology?

I am not a big fan. But you passing judgement on her is just so typical. I have no doubt that you are another jaded woman who comes on here thinking that we give a shit about what you think.

No wonder.........

I have to admit that when I read this first thing this morning I did tear up a bit. I suspect Keanu probably will too.

So the child will be River Phoenix too? Is Phoenix their real surname?

Their real surname is Bottom. Seriously.

R14 Is he also nice to meat eaters? R17 Tell us more about his woman hating ways!

"Rivulet" would have been a nice tribute, without the baggage, or "Rivulette" if a girl.

No, Rose: they named the child "River," but it will be known as "Desirée Armfeldt" from henceforth.

The kid’s real name is River Bottom? His future middle school classmates will have fun with that.

R16's description reminds me of Dory Previn's "The Altruist and the Needy Case":

He has passion

For ecology

Compassion

For minorities

He carries printed placards

To put an end to war

He's a hero

He's a rebel

With a half a hundred causes

He peddles his petitions

Door to door

He's at home among the homeless

Singing set my people free

He will march

With total strangers

But he will not walk

With me

He writes letters

To his congressmen

On Indian indignities

Black men

Are his brothers

He bears collective guilt

He's a prophet

He's a pacifist

But tho' peace

Is his objective

He has no fear to see

His own blood spilt

His roots are with the rootless

That's where he needs to be

He will die

With total strangers

But he will not live

With me

He feeds and shelters animals

Unselfish are his deeds

He gives away his worldly goods

And has no notion of

My needs

Lover look away a moment

Tho' the ghetto cries

Long enough

To see the hunger in

One person's eyes

Passion

For ecology

Compassion

For minorities

He weeps to think that anyone

Could ever be

Alone

He's a seeker

He's a saviour

Who strives to

Save the children

But he's never had

A child of his own

He's united

With the universe

He's at one

With stars and sea

He can love

The whole damned human race

Oh

Then why is he

So afraid to be

In love

With me?

Joaquin’s siblings was also inspired by River with their kids name : Indiana-named after River’s character, Rio Spanish for River,Atticus-River’s band name is Aleka's Attic

I wonder if r28's post made sense before he put it through Google Translate.

I like to imagine that if River were still living, then he’d be disgusted by his family making him a martyr and icon from whom to profit.

That poor kid would be lucky to be stolen by gypsies.

R4 There was some gossip a few years ago that Rooney also has mental health issues, she apparently has had some pretty severe bouts with depression and is a cutter.

Poor (rich) kid.

R17 What "record" are you talking about?

They both seem so weird - and not in a good, enjoyable, British way, but like they suffer from a variety of mental illnesses. And Rooney is a rather bland actress, similar to Carey Mulligan and that Seaorosiaoioussa chick from Ireland.

I think it's beautiful he named his child after his brother. I see nothing wrong with the gesture at all.

[quote]And Rooney is a rather bland actress, similar to Carey Mulligan and that Seaorosiaoioussa chick from Ireland.

IMHO Mulligan and Ronan are both far more talented actresses than Mara, who is quite weak. I think Mia Wasikowska also falls into this "deceptively bland yet actually quite compelling" category of performer.

Both his sisters have sons named after their brother (one called her son Rio, which is the Spanish version of River, the other Indiana, because he played Indiana Jones), so I think that the family was saving the name for Joaquin to use for his son.

Rooney looks fragile.

R36, I wasn’t that into Rooney either until I saw her in ‘Carol,’ in which she was wonderful and even outshone Cate Blanchett.

Saoirse is more talented and less annoying than some of her basic, beige contemporaries like JLaw and Brie Larson, but I still think she’s overpraised.

On a shallow note, Mara has the most striking, photogenic face of the bunch.

i think its awesome they named him River. I remember the first time I heard that frantic 911 call Joaquin made from The Viper Room, trying to save his brother. Horrifying and heartbreaking. For me, his face always seemed haunted with that memory. Hopefully this brings him and the family even more peace.

R40 The worst and most selfish reason to have children is wanting a solution to your own psychological wounding. Sadly, it’s also one of the most common.

I pity the kid that has those two loons as parents, but maybe - because the universe has a sense of humor - the kid will turn out to be some big beef-eating linebacker type that smashes big cans on his head for fun

Apparently I’ve been pronouncing his name incorrectly all these years - aptly it’s “whack-e’en”, and not “joke-win”.

NEVER name your kid after a ghost. You'd think parents would realize that it's plain common sense but no, you need to wait until they get all shocked to hear from the kid that it was always a burden. No shit.

I think she's a terrible actress and I'm glad she basically retired when she hopped on his dick.

And yeah, it'd be one thing to name a child after a grandparent or another relative who lived a long and full life, but after your tragically shortlived brother? NO PRESSURE kiddo!

He didn’t even raise the first son he had. Not that he had much of a chance, given the circumstances, but the point still stands.

Hard not to feel sorry for poor Rain. There’s a part of her that’s surely heartbroken.

What first son?

Whats certain is his dad fucked over his baby mama Emma Morris after they split up, handed his 3 yr old daughter Hope over to Liberty Phoenix and 38 year old Joaquin did nothing to stop it. In fact as likely as not his money and name help facilitate it.

Theres a whole thread on it here. Let's talk about THAT instead of this rich, cruel fuckup having a trust fund baby.

Here's the link to thread about Joaquins half-sister Hope fathered late in life by Joaquin's father John ( renamed himself Juan). Dad hung out with sex offenders. It gives insight into the entire Phoenix family, Liberty and Joaquin included.

R48 I had never heard this, so I looked it up. WTF?

R17 Yeah if his friends are any indication, consider that he paled around with Casey Affleck. And did similar shit off camera as the shit thar was in the movie which was supposedly a mockumentry. Resulted in a lawsuit. It was just an excuse to torment women and fuck like rabbits.

R50 Aside from everything else it seems the whole Phoenix family conspired to kidnap his little sister who is 35 yrs younger.

Shocking what the filthy rich get away with. The wife is stinking rich too. But let's all celebrate this douche is reproducing.

He is creepy to me. Hard to believe he was the cute kid in Parenthood.

Turned into a bitter middle aged man, acting like a 13 year old asshole during interviews.

R46 that link goes nowhere. I heard somewhere Rain had a kid but Joaquin??

Wasn't there some gossip that the Phoenix family started there own cult?

Damn him!

Joaquin Phoenix is not only doing photo Ops with his kid (just like all the other Hollywood trust fund child producers) but he is further exploiting him by suddenly declaring himself an anti child trafficking advocate!!! Published in People Mag.

Said he couldn't bear being parted for even a day. But the heart break was fine for Emma and Hope? What a lying BASTARD!

River went by 'Rio' for a while.