Tasteful friends...

Gorgeous. Could do without the red room. No pics of kitchen and baths which could be suspicious. But the layout is wonderful.

I'll take it.

That yellow-orange paint is in my office. It looks fantastic in the mornings. Cheers me up instantly.

Not a comfortable chair or piece of notable art in the whole place. Whatever the red room is it’s appalling. The Naugahyde matching futon things in the library(?) look like they smell old. No terrace for $32M? No thanks

Love most of it. Well, not that dreadful red plaid room or those couches. And, they shouldn’t have put lamps over all the paintings. But, it seems spacious and airy.

I’ve never seen so many chairs in my life

The sofas are the Anfibio by Giovannetti. Originals from the 70s are worth a fortune. They open into a bed. Very appreciated among design people. They don't make much sense in that room.

That's a lot of chairs.

Do you think the furniture is original?

The room that looks like a giant Christmas present.

WTF

And I'd be craving orange juice all day from that other room.

Or maybe mango

It's definitely a Crayola color

What a fabulous apartment for a 78 year-old widow

Who used to give fabulous dinner parties

Before she broke her hip

The living and dining rooms look like period rooms at the Met, beautiful but not very livable. That plaid room is a nightmare. God only know what the kitchen and bathrooms look like.

Where are the hoses kept?

Also, don't bring a ton of clothes.

Horses...

$32 million and no washer/dryer?

Whose house was this? One of the Koch brothers? The one who died?

I know living in a Central Park coop is the height of glamor but never in my life would I spend 32 million on such a blighted dump.

You could buy up the whole city of Detroit.

There is so much one could do with that much cash.

Seriously, r16–that is a shitload of money for not a lot of house.

$32 million and no Powder Room

Sure you can use the hall bathroom just push the portable toilet and the Depends out of the way

Meh. It’s staged - with furnishings of the kind to which Sotheby’s (or is it Christie’s? whatever who the fuck cares) has access, surely - but still, it’s staged and it looks it. The decor has that sense of last-minute rush that happens when one has to put together a random selection of leftovers no one else wants. Not really very impressive. I’ll keep my .cold 32, thanks.

I hate all the shared baths, there’s only one bedroom without a Jack and Jill bath, and it’s not the master. For that kind of money I want palatial private baths.

Surely $32 million is some pre-Covid fantasy

I can just imagine the sellers insisting that they'll agree to list it for $32 million but they EXPECT multiple offers and a bidding war

And we don't any of that riff-raff who will complain about the $29,000 a month in maintenance fees either

R21 - exactly. No fucking way - I think they may get half that.

God - all of the federalist furniture and old lady shit just screams Republican.

Beautiful rooms - just need to ditch all of the furnishings. And no bathroom or kitchen pictures are VERY suspicious - total gut jobs.

Fuck it - like any of us would pass the co-op board anyway. It would be a nightmare to live in that building.

I was thinking staged, as well. The living room, in particular, seems to have a lot of dining room chairs. Maybe they're antiques? Still, it's not a very comfortable space. But the apartment itself is lovely. Just a little bit of work. $32 million does seem like a bit much, though.

Who hired this shitty real estate “agent” to take crappy iPhone pictures for a $32M listing?

Goddamn bitch if you want a fucking half million dollar commission get off your fat ass and work it!

Beautiful apartment, but whoever furnished that place needs to learn how to place pieces. That living room looks like they just had a recital and haven't removed all the chairs yet. And dear God in Heaven, those sofas in the paneled den should be burned. And I'm sad they showed no bathrooms or the kitchen.

Can you imagine forking out $32 million only to immediately have to renovate the kitchen and bathrooms?

Nothing sold for eight figures should be a "fixer-upper."

These people could have the best game of Musical Chairs ever. It would never end.

From the listing:

PROPERTY FEATURES

Cooperative Architecturally Significant City/Skyline View Metropolitan Living Metropolitan Park Views

Listing both "Metropolitan Living" and "Metropolitan" as features - maybe the realtor actually ran out of words to describe this metropolitan $32 million dollar metropolitan-living bargain

Claus von Bulow lived in that building.

Property tax flip to be paid by buyer 2.5% = $812,500

Don't forget to budget that into your actual costs

Along with the unspecified monthly maintenance fees that are probably north of $30,000 per month

And MARY Tyler Moore also loved there. As did those two famous red tail hawks, Pale Male, that they removed them restored to their nest built on cornice work on the facade

[quote]Claus von Bulow lived in that building.

And he was one of the "poors" too

after he lost his access to Sunny's money

Aaaaaand..... Barbra Streisand was rejected by the board three decades ago. Lol

^ r32. True. But he got back some access to her fortune when his daughter, Cosima (an old old friend of mine) was finally restored as beneficiary to her grandmother’s will. Coz supported him.

[quote]And MARY Tyler Moore also loved there

Well maybe not as much as you'd think

She was kind of cold

^oooops. Oh dear on me.

The red tartan room would look better with slings dangling from the ceiling. It’s also a great place to put your dildo collection on display.

Am I the only one who thinks those tall splindly skyscrapers have so ruined the NY skyline than property in view of them is worthless?

^ you are in good company.

The staff room is too small for my needs.

The red carpet in the Red Tartan room looks dirty and wrinkled

Did they even bother to vacuum it?

[quote]The staff room is too small for my needs.

I don't even think about the servants

The little people don't matter to me or my 50 best friends

[quote] Am I the only one who thinks those tall splindly skyscrapers have so ruined the NY skyline than property in view of them is worthless?

They're horrid! From afar they don't even look like buildings. They look like communications towers.

No bedrooms?

[quote]No bedrooms?

No Rose, it was commune - we made love and slept in the chairs

They forgot to stage the bagpipers in the Plaid Room.

How the fuck did Mary Tyler Moore get in? She got into The San Remo, of course, but here???

Yes, it's very nice

But we're looking for a place with more occasional antique chairs

[quote] The red carpet in the Red Tartan room looks dirty and wrinkled

It does look like it needs to be restretched.

First of all the apartment is for sale, not the furniture. Not a very interesting apartment, but then again NYC is all about the square footage.

We're not concerned with the sale aspect. We're homosexuals. We're concerned about how the joint looks and whether or not the current residents have good decorating taste. We deem this offering to be lacking.

[quote]First of all the apartment is for sale, not the furniture.

Consider yourself scolded

If I write an offer to include the furnishings, then the goddamned furniture is for sale too.

I've always dreamed of an apartment full of furniture that smells of frail old white woman.

A proper New York apartment is 75% chairs.

R2, what brand and color name is this? I have wanted something like this in my dining room for awhile.

It's called Vaginal Discharge

Be sure to get the low VOC variety

No thanks. It's staged to look like an 80 y.o. widow lives there. It's a total turn off. I prefer a more California mission style home to a 5th Ave. Apt.

IMO, the floor plan is better than most old NYC apartments posted in "Tasteful Friends." This floor plan makes sense. There's a powder room type of bathroom next to the kitchen.

I don't think it's staged. Not a single photo of a bed (except for the library sofas).

If I'm moving in, that painting on the southern wall is getting replaced with a TV. The dining room fireplace would be reversibly concealed with bookcases. The library would become an intimate dining room with seating for 6-8. And the formal living room, well no one would be allowed in there.

The southern view at night must be a sight. That's the 30 million dollar view, and I wouldn't waste it on a formal dining room. A dining room on the park never makes sense. Who throws a dinner party during the day when you can see the view? I'd use the room to watch The View.

I think this is the "double master bedroom." Now I do see a bed in the far right of the photo.

Apartment #9 in 927 Fifth, location and furnishings, is way too upscale for DL. Just read most of the insipid comments. The unit is a full-floor co-op in an elegant and exclusive 12-floor limestone building by Warren & Wetmore, only one apartment per floor, only twelve apartments in the building. Many of you will know of the building as the home of several Central Park red-tailed hawks nesting a few years ago, Check out Pale Male.

Negative comments here are amusing … I suppose it depends upon what you know and how you were raised. $32 million is not high. the unit is not staged; many people of taste and a little money furnish like that … too many chairs indeed; Good God! And think about it, just two rooms, LR & DR, run 60-feet wide, larger than any apartment or house in which many here grew up. The floor plan is outstanding, The comment few here could get in the building? Probably correct, but think of the convenience of putting your shabby tricks into your own private service elevator Now that's posh. Still, I weep "….they shouldn’t have put lamps over all the paintings'"? Good God, how do some of you ever find your way here?

That's very funny, R9

[quote]That yellow-orange paint is in my office. It looks fantastic in the mornings. Cheers me up instantly.

It's in my home office, too. It's been a few years and I keep thinking I should change it, but it's such a mood-brightener.

WTF? Why is a high rise apartment decorated like some late 18th century colonial mansion? That's fucked up.

Two of the bedrooms are adjacent to three bathrooms and one shares walls with two of the toilets. Hopefully there's thick walls. I wouldn't want to hear two people using a toilet while trying to slumber.

All you ever wanted to know.

Claus von Bülow did not live in this building, R29. Sunny’s apartment was at 960 Fifth Avenue.

I think it is exactly what a 5th Ave grand apartment should be. It is unfortunate that it doesn't have a terrace and according to the floor plan, I don't see a bathroom for the staff room, unless it is the bathroom next to the kitchen (below the kitchen on the floorplan). I doubt that it is staged - that is just a seriously old money, old school, hardcore preppy occupant(s).

No powder room.