So and so's not gay he....

is married. Or was married.

Dates in Europe!

Is dating Taylor Swift

...immersed in his work. He doesn’t have a private life.

Just asexual!

...he attends mass everyday and devotes his free time to the local Catholic Church. His best friend is the priest.

OP can you get me the number of the guy you’re describing?

His girlfriend is a busy flight attendant so she hardly is there... Oh.. this excuse might not work during the pandemic.

"I've worked with him, didn't ping, his girlfriend was around all the time."

"My female friend/hairdresser/dog walker/etc. dated him, not gay."

"I've met him socially and he didn't set off my gaydar, his girlfriend was there."

"He's Liberal and wouldn't hide it if he was."

"It's a Republican conspiracy to take him down."

Just theatrical

Is Kevin Spacey.

Is married to Amal.

I love R9!!!!!!!!!!

I thought the gf was a Victoria's Secret model who lives in Canada?

He's devoted to his mother. He won't marry until mother dies!

Is studying to become a priest.

He's not gay, he's US Senator!

he don't have money to touch my poosey.

....he feels his crazy work schedule would be unfair to a woman.

Has a girlfriend who lives in Canada but is working right now in JAPAN.

...has been DELIVERT!

He don't like Mens no more.

... has many gay friends, doesn't judge.

Is asexual.

... he is a huge sports fan -watches football, basketball, baseball, hockey, wrestling... In fact, he's such a huge wresting fan he has photos of his favorite athletes , and a great collection of wrestling videos! Um. Er...

r24, true! We all know athletes can't be gay!

... has a kid with an ex-girlfriend!

Now she's with another star that everyone falsely accuses of being gay! Unfair!

Really? You're leaving it to me??

Sigh...

Okay.

... he just hasn't met the right girl.

Notorious pussyhound. Big Bush supporter.

... is dating Lady Gaga!!!!

#NoHomo!!!

Please send money! The Yankees are coming!

…he's just high-strung.

. . . just got engaged to a lovely Christian woman! I'm so excited to be planning my son's wedding!

His girlfriend Chun Ling is very nice. I’m sure they’ll get engaged very soon.

Chun Ling's bridesmaid will be Mai Do

He just hasn't found the right girl yet!

". . . he's just a stylish dresser, goddammit!"

He's a straight metrosexual.

He loves his mother.

He meets plenty of women at ballroom dancing competitions.

...just has impeccable fashion sense.

He's always around women!

Madly in love with Diane!

LOL R29! I suppose that headline could be true if Cooper and Renner were a couple and Gaga tried to break up a spat between them.

- He’s just going through a phase.

- He was in love with a sweet girl, but she died tragically.

- He swore lifelong chastity to his guru.

- He belongs to a secret Christian brotherhood.

- He lets nothing come between him and his art.

He's just focusing on his career right now.

....is Jack Nasty.

I knew the girl he was in love with. But then she died.

"... is SO not gay! Ha ha!!! He is TOTALLY Liberal and has TONS of gay friends! Ha ha ha! He knows people think he's gay but he's okay with it. Ha ha ha! I know him and he is with a different girl every night! Ha ha ha!!! He has to keep all of the girls secret for his image due to his [Disney/ABC/etc.] show but he is a total horndog! He's fucked one of my sister's best friends (female!!!!!).He's SO not gay! Ha ha ha!!!!"

[Some idiot here posts that about EVERY closeted male celebrity).

... simply a sassy and stylish straight Black Republican.

He's just Jared being Jared.

R48, one I see a lot is:

Sorry, I went to college/school with him and he definitely likes girls!

(How is it that these people always knew the stars they went to school with well enough to know their orientation? There were 2,000-3,000 kids at my high school and 30,000 students at my college...)

doesn't believe in labels!

R52 That's the Bi classic. "I won't define myself."

The Bi Lie!

.."he's a little light in the loafers"

..."he's a confirmed bachelor"

..."he's more complicated than you know"

He’s just one of those ‘creative types’.

...married to Deborra-Lee Furness

And don't you fags forget it!

[quote]How is it that these people always knew the stars they went to school with well enough to know their orientation?

The only actual star in my class was my middle school nemesis, so I knew nothing about his adult personal life except what was going on with his mom and sister. I didn't realize he had a (now teenage) kid until this last year.

R59 love that Matt had a singular sworn nemesis in middle-school, one who went on to be a STAH no less. What an origin story.

All I had were garden-variety bullies, who as far as I know now live in the backwoods as ever.

Ha!!!

... is vice president of the United States.

...has a girlfriend but he keeps her under wraps because he's very private.

(Bet you didn't know you can keep girls "under wraps" for years and they won't spoil.)

R60, I'll tell you it is freaky to go to the movies and see someone you know get his face ripped off. Almost makes me wish we'd maintained animosity over the years so as not to waste the effect.

....is dating his DWTS celebrity partner.

Ha! I met a friend's cousin yesterday and his "friend." Preppy southern lawyer and the friend was like a construction worker. She tells me he's never been married and he once went to Thailand to get a wife in order to look better in a local election!

"Honey, he's gay and that's his partner." She's like no way! "Umm...what confirmed bachelors buy a house together?"

They did.