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Porn is ruining hookups

I'm a strict bottom and I'm sick of Grindr tops pretending everything is a fucking porno.

This is what I've noticed tops thinking is normal and expected in the last decade or so:

1. Calling bottoms faggots or punks. Almost every top who's bred me has called me a faggot without being invited to do so. No discussion of limits - just 'take my hot straight cock, inferior f@ggot' and things like that. Similarly, tops also like to emphasize how straight masc and alpha they is. Basically every other words out of their mouths is 'f@ggot' or 'bitch'.

2. Spitting. Tops spit everywhere. On my face, in my mouth, on my hole, etc. How gross!

3. Expecting bottoms to make gross sex noises. I had tops demanding me to make grunting noises, like a pig because I'm a 'piggy bottom'. A top literally told me 'gag for my straight cock, f@ggot' and I played along and said 'yeah, I'm gagging for your alpha masc cock, daddy', but NO he actually wanted me to make actual real gagging noises.

4. Demanding rimming when they're topping: a masc top has purses falling out of his mouth when he unexpectedly told me 'go down on my taint, boy'.

5. Normalizing piss. I like watersports and scat, but it needs to be agreed before hand. Most tops expect to be able to piss on me, piss on my bed or furniture, or even piss up my ass without warning!

Any other pet peeves from porn bleeding into real life?

by Anonymousreply 93Last Wednesday at 4:46 PM

You forgot to include the word "cocklet" OP.

by Anonymousreply 109/13/2020

I was once assaulted by a top whose only lines of communication were ‘shut the fuck up bitcb” when I wanted him to do something and “I know what you want faggot” when he was doin me. He sounded mentally ill. He’d go into a trance and just mumble obscenities And homophobic slurs under his breath. He may well be dead now.

by Anonymousreply 209/13/2020

[quote] I'm gagging for your alpha masc cock, daddy'

🤣 You get what you ask for.

by Anonymousreply 309/13/2020

I'm a total bottom too, though I love to be sucked and love rimming guys but I've never been to this kind of situations because I have self respect which you clearly lack, not to mention a toxic idea of what masculinity is all about.

by Anonymousreply 409/13/2020

OP wants to act like a slut but not be treated like one. You can't have it both ways, dear. If you want a top to make love to you, you have to love yourself.

by Anonymousreply 509/13/2020

[QUOTE] 5. Normalizing piss. I like watersports and scat

Scat thread

by Anonymousreply 609/13/2020

It's pretty clear cut too R6.

by Anonymousreply 709/13/2020

It's all the changing around of positions like they think they are making a fucking porn movie too! I mean, how many positions do you really need to jump around into?

by Anonymousreply 809/13/2020

[quote] Normalizing piss. I like watersports and scat

I'm so proud!

by Anonymousreply 909/13/2020

OP, in case you're wondering what tone your post creates...I get a morbidly obese vibe with the smell of Jeff Dahmer's apartment.

by Anonymousreply 1009/13/2020

R5 - I'm an all loads, no questions asked poz bottom. I'm sex-positive and don't clutch pearls. Guys are piggy and that's just fabulous.

R10 - I am proudly chubby in my late 50s. In a happy open relationship, with three adopted sons. I consider myself well-adjusted.

by Anonymousreply 1109/13/2020

OP - are you The Wrigleyville Cumdump?

Offsite Link
by Anonymousreply 1209/13/2020

You’re talking about being “bred” and complaining about this?

by Anonymousreply 1309/13/2020

R13 it’s the assumption that porn is real life that bothers the OP

by Anonymousreply 1409/13/2020

Then stop being a whore, dear!

by Anonymousreply 1509/13/2020

I'm a total top and have never, and will never, want a bottom to rim me. Ain't gonna happen.

And yeah, all the spitting in porn is fucking gross. No thanks.

by Anonymousreply 1609/13/2020

I'm going to have to have a moment of introspection; I worry I may be as deluded as the OP. Sad.

by Anonymousreply 1709/13/2020

I have friends in the leather scene, BDSM scene, bleeding into the for-some-reason pup scene. Myself, I'm pretty vanilla in the bedroom. But I hear about and see these guys online who are wanting slaves or have this power dynamic fetish or are into degrading their hookups, etc. A guy mouthed off to me the way these "sirs" and "masters" and whatever nonsense are laying out, I'd tell him to GFYS. Entitled arrogance.

by Anonymousreply 1809/13/2020

What's wrong with spitting in the bottom's hole?

by Anonymousreply 1909/13/2020

Assholes always ruin sex OP!

by Anonymousreply 2009/13/2020

OP is ruining herself by being a fat bottom!!!

by Anonymousreply 2109/13/2020

OP: Porn is ruining hookups

also OP: Every top who's bred me...

The fact that you call having sex "breeding" means porn has ruined YOU

by Anonymousreply 2209/13/2020

[quote][R13] it’s the assumption that porn is real life that bothers the OP

It is worrisome, esp for young and inexperienced people who think they have to engage in any nasty and unsafe sex practice they see in porn because they think it's normal.

by Anonymousreply 2309/13/2020

Thank you, R22, for correcting this troll. At the very least we expect reasonable attempts at verisimilitude from such egregiously salacious tedium.

by Anonymousreply 2409/13/2020

Spitting on a bitch and hard slapping his ass and face makes me harder and hornier to fuck it. No problem finding it. I like to piss in someone's mouth too, when it feels natural. Boy bitches and hot bottoms are there to serve me. I don't fuck chubby men in their fifties - those you just spit in the face and walk away. Doesn't stop them from begging. I want a spit emoji. It's a classic feel to spit on a bitch when you pound it.

The porn trend that I find funny is all the foot worship and standing on a guys throat. All kinds of demands are sexy - but this one is just awkward. I'll chew on a pretty bottoms toes while I fuck him slowly before I'm gonna stand on a guys neck. If I want to kill you I know how. Why do pretend shit? My feet are sexy, but we better be in love in you expect to worship all of me.

That said, I like some pretend stuff myself. A complaining bottom who is unresponsive to my hot body and big dick and the power and strength of my fuck - must be a fat 55 year old white man with three adopted kids. Cuz I never met him.

Who says that bottoms aren't demanding on hookup apps? The first comment I get 70% of the time is "Please Choke Me" or "kill my holes" So yeah, porn is ruining hookups. And boys who've had more porn than good fucks are not good whores. So I like a guy at the right age and time. Over 28, under 45. If he has some bad sexual idea but a good ass and responsive holes - I can make it into what I want. A top man has work to do too.

Fat men with flabby asses over 50 are lucky to get any dick. Shut the fuck up and do like you're told.

I am in my late thirties and I encourage the young guys who try on real dominance. Even if they're only 20 years old. Aggression makes good sex. Not with me, but in general I approve. Beat a bitch up, spit on your whore - but fuck and breed him right. I am all for the reinstatement of real tops and submissive bottoms. Because it never went away. Old granny men on DL are "versatile" cuz you know. It' over for them. If you're not married by that age - be prepared to pay for what you want. Not every fag is good at sex. Some hot fit older wild asses are out there for sure. But a top man still decides how much you're good for. Sweetness counts, sometimes.

by Anonymousreply 2509/13/2020

R23 yes there’s something creepy about all the imitation. Definitely hear the ‘faggot’ thing is widespread. Basically tops expect to be able to call bottoms faggots with impunity.

by Anonymousreply 2609/13/2020

[quote]Beat a bitch up, spit on your whore - but fuck and breed him right.

I didn't know DonDump was posting on DL.

by Anonymousreply 2709/13/2020

FAKE NEWS

The homophobic gay-bashing troll just wants to get some gays to admit they like things most people find disgusting so he can sneer.

by Anonymousreply 2809/13/2020

I used to hook up with a guy who was a total bottom and who liked to be degraded during sex, so I would call him things like "little bitch" and "whore" when we fucked but stopped short of the F word.

by Anonymousreply 2909/13/2020

Isn't that like saying guns are ruining crime?

by Anonymousreply 3009/13/2020

R29 OMG such pearl clutching! You do realize people say faggot in gay porn ALL THE TIME and gay men happily consume it!

by Anonymousreply 3109/13/2020

Exhibit 1: the Wrigleyville Cumdump who is called a faggot several times by his straight masc top.

by Anonymousreply 3209/13/2020

Shut up faggot and suck that cock like the whore you are

by Anonymousreply 3309/13/2020

I hope you at least have the decency to say, "Thank you, Sir!"

by Anonymousreply 3409/13/2020

Dignified slut bottoms are boring. Men call women sluts, whores and bitches all the time when they're fucking. If a woman hates that and it doesn't arouse her - she will say so, or it may not be a situation she would ever find herself in. Gay men can say the same. You don't always know what you're gonna like, or what someone brings out in you. Sexual synergy is what most of us crave. But if you're a bottom looking for an anonymous hookup - you should STATE that you're not into being called names, spit on, spanked, rimming or being submissive. Don't waste a man's time. All top men are in demand. Bottoms can be as picky as they want. On your own time.

Some men post - I'm in the mood to maybe get fucked today if you're well hung and aggressive. And they say it everyday. Ha. A slut should be treated like one. If we fall in love, I'll buy you some underwear that I like and take you to dinner. Don't start mouthing off about what you prefer sexually.

by Anonymousreply 3509/13/2020

R12 Christ that top talks WAY too much. You can hear how self-satisfied he is with his little "fag posture" comment. He must have OCD about what position the bottom has to be in. Still not as bad though as the top on PornHub who literally makes animal noises as he fucks - snarls and growls and the like. It's hilarious, I'm surprised his bottoms never laugh at him.

R18 Some actor (touring theater, not even Broadway) was outed as a BDSM sub, and so I was looking at his and his "master's" twitter. It was just ridiculous. Posts about how if you're a sub, that means non-sexual too so you should be willing to do chores. Lots of comments made "jokingly" about how a subs consent doesn't matter. And this master type talking seriously about pimping this guy out. He literally made him moo in a video he posted because he planned to make him his "cash cow". It all just seemed abusive and concerning.

by Anonymousreply 3609/13/2020

R25/R35 You're trying too hard.

by Anonymousreply 3709/13/2020

This thread will end in prolapse.

by Anonymousreply 3809/13/2020

I ain't trying hard for you R37. Don't worry about me.

by Anonymousreply 3909/13/2020

Lol @ the bossy bottoms in this thread. I want to take anonymous loads from at least two guys per day but they BETTER not call me faggot.

by Anonymousreply 4009/13/2020

[quote] I'm a strict bottom and I'm sick of Grindr tops pretending everything is a fucking porno.

OP, you should appreciate that grindr has guys who are chubby chasers. Your advanced age is also a deterrent and limits your pool of men. Imagining porno type sex while sticking their dick inside your fart box is how they stay hard.

by Anonymousreply 4109/13/2020

[quote]I need more porn. I've watched every single video on the internet of gay men providing no-recip blowjobs to ostensibly straight men. There are other scenarios that get me off, but this is the most reliable. Can you guys please help me find more?

But don't call him faggot? R40 also loves straight ugly Republican dick because he's not into being humiliated.

by Anonymousreply 4209/13/2020

R42 But I don't sleep around.

by Anonymousreply 4309/13/2020

Sure, Jan.

by Anonymousreply 4409/13/2020

Yes, R37. He is only trying to convince one person. And it doesn't sound like he is doing that good of a job.

by Anonymousreply 4509/13/2020

^ Old white fag.

by Anonymousreply 4609/13/2020

^ ignorant troll

by Anonymousreply 4709/13/2020

Where are you meeting these randos, OP? I’m a bottom (and a huge whore) and I’ve never found myself in a situation where I was getting verbally demeaned like what you’re describing. I’ve been called ‘faggot’ plenty of times but I tend not to have sex with those assholes. All of my tops have been grateful and gentlemanly so I guess I should count my blessing because things could be worse.

by Anonymousreply 4809/13/2020

"^ Old white fag."

Yeah, you need a new line. Because that seems to be the only arrow in your quiver. And it is pretty used up.

But really, the guys I know who talk like you type are always overcompensating for something. And in the end, just really want a dick up their ass. You're not really loathing the bottoms. You are loathing yourself. And the way you are trying to play it out is not just obvious, it is kinda sad.

Have you convinced yourself yet?

by Anonymousreply 4909/13/2020

OP - You are just a life support system for a mussy at this point. You should be grateful for the cock you are getting based on your description. You can always say no.

by Anonymousreply 5009/13/2020

All this drama for 20 minutes tops?

by Anonymousreply 5109/13/2020

“That’s MISTER Faggot to you!”

by Anonymousreply 5209/13/2020

R48 response would have been similar to mine. I've not noticed any change in the last 20 years of being a slut - both top and bottom. Everyone has been respectful and nothing like what OP describes. No BDSM, spitting, piss, name-calling, etc., but a lot of fun otherwise.

Have I just been lucky all these years?

by Anonymousreply 5309/13/2020

R48 = the Senatrice, who brooks no shit from her gentlemen callers.

Stand your ground, gurlina.

by Anonymousreply 5409/13/2020

Porn has reduced our capacity for inventive verbal filth. Now all you hear is, “Fuck yeah, fuck yeah”.

by Anonymousreply 5509/13/2020

I agree with OP, but not with the rather strange list of reasons he gave. I had this gorgeous Peruvian buddy with whom I maintained a casual sexual dynamic with for years. And we had great sex for a long time. However, the last couple years have been really lackluster. And despite what some friends have opined, I actually never got tired of or bored with him sexually. He really does still turn me on majorly, and I him. But there was a distinct point in the friendship where the sex became so stereotypically porny that it felt hackneyed and was a major buzzkill to the sexual vibe he and I had. And it wasn't so much with any verbal exchanges or degrading, weird sex acts. Rather it was like he was trying to create a porn scene, setting up a workout bench (which was so awkward to have sex on), or outdoors on the lawn in the dark (which is not fun when it's cold, dewy, or buggy. He lost any interest in normal sex in the bedroom between two guys who were into each other. And I don't know if the change was directly due to his pornographic interests, but it really started feeling overtly fabricated and produced, which has really turned me off.

And I have noticed it with other hookups as well, where the sexual dynamic took a hackneyed porno turn. Part of it is that I simply don't find hookup culture all that "hot" anymore. But a big part of it is also that guys are injecting a staginess into the sex that just feels awkward.

by Anonymousreply 56Last Monday at 12:15 AM

I spit.....on this thread!

by Anonymousreply 57Last Monday at 12:21 AM

I am a top and I refuse to degrade my bottoms like that. Some have asked for a little spanking, hair pulling, being called "bitch" or the f word (which I kind of hate doing), but I have never spit or pissed on anyone in my life. I actually mix it up with adoring him, gently biting and ear nibbling and appreciating his beauty (I love pretty Perisan men with long lashes and hands like Freddie Mercury...yummmm). I tell them how good they taste and I have NEVER had a single complaint or one who wasn't willing to come back for more.

You gotta know how to be a good top...mix up being masc and dom with making him feel good. Winning combination.

by Anonymousreply 58Last Monday at 12:57 AM

I watch plenty of porn and don't hear the word faggot much, if ever - is this niche stuff?

by Anonymousreply 59Last Monday at 1:10 AM

OP You can send them over the me. I have no problems with any of that behaviour.

by Anonymousreply 60Last Monday at 1:18 AM

R60 = walking risk for STDs.

by Anonymousreply 61Last Monday at 1:24 AM

R58 what are you like 12? Why the fuck do you have to call it the F word? Everyone here uses the word 'faggot' liberally so stop clutching your fucking pearls.

by Anonymousreply 62Last Monday at 3:44 AM

Mom??

by Anonymousreply 63Last Monday at 4:02 AM

As a top, I treat a bottom as a lady, and a lady as a bottom.

by Anonymousreply 64Last Monday at 4:11 AM

That's it R58. I have an FB that likes to be manhandled, and I am more than happy to oblige. After a point, you have to show some appreciation. Usually, once he starts trying to get away from me, I will grab him in a bear hug and start caressing him as he cries.

The sex is Fantastic.

by Anonymousreply 65Last Monday at 4:53 AM

Beware the hostile fag. When he’s sober, he’s dangerous. When he drinks, he’s lethal. - Harold

by Anonymousreply 66Last Monday at 5:22 AM

I rather watch porn than hookup anyways--safer that way and more enjoyable. Less drama.

by Anonymousreply 67Last Monday at 5:42 AM

R65 - EXACTLY...sex after is sooooo good.

R62 - if you want me to call you a faggot, I can but I just prefer to do it with my dick inside you instead of on an anonymous board. See whose clutching their pearls then.

by Anonymousreply 68Last Monday at 11:10 AM

OP, if you're looking for tops on Grindr and you're "proudly chubby in my late 50s" you're lucky to be finding anyone at all, and you're definitely not in a position to be complaining about the quality of your hookups. If you want guys that treat you nice, you're not going to find them on Grindr.

by Anonymousreply 69Last Monday at 11:39 AM

A little hitting and name calling can be a great enhancer in the right situation,but bitch if you piss on or in me,or spit on me,I will kick you in the nuts . Not in a fun way either. Fucking Theme Queens and their ridiculous charades bore me to tears.

by Anonymousreply 70Last Monday at 11:58 AM

I’m an old bottom and very rarely did any of the guys fucking me say anything intelligible but “I’m cumming.”

by Anonymousreply 71Last Monday at 12:01 PM

I also hate when people start taking out their phones and recording everything.

by Anonymousreply 72Last Monday at 12:12 PM

OP is an obvious troll.

Otherwise, he'd know to include his boundaries on his online profile now so he doesn't have to tell his tricks later.

by Anonymousreply 73Last Monday at 12:27 PM

Shit Brickhouse Troll thread, with a special appearance by the "old white fag" Vixen stan making one of her trademark methy rants. Happy day for DL!

by Anonymousreply 74Last Monday at 12:32 PM

Piss all over me and give me a superinfection but don’t you DARE call me faggot.

by Anonymousreply 75Last Monday at 12:35 PM

Those of you saying ‘this never happens to me’ have to bear in mind the OP’s age and body shape. His market is smaller than that of many.

by Anonymousreply 76Last Monday at 12:43 PM

We can't help you. You'll have to take it up with porn.

by Anonymousreply 77Last Monday at 12:45 PM

R25, what are you drinking and would you pour me a tall glass of it, so that I may finesse it into my asshole & douche with it?

by Anonymousreply 78Last Monday at 1:08 PM

I'm done with hookups. Too much stress, too many weird, borderline scary guys. I'm not preaching, it's my decision. And I've found things are a lot calmer in my world.

by Anonymousreply 79Last Monday at 1:30 PM

Expecting to be trolled, but I’ll ask my straightfaced question, anyways - why do men in their droves feel the need to sexually denigrate or befoul others? Is it a testosterone thing? Marking one’s territory? I have no problem with grown consenting adults playing with power or getting off to dark roleplay, and I was once bullied myself, but even still I don’t get the obsession with enacting scenes of physical abuse and the whole idea dumbfounds me.

by Anonymousreply 80Last Monday at 1:42 PM

Well OP you clearly need to get a new set of fuck buddies.

by Anonymousreply 81Last Monday at 1:44 PM

R80 Yes, your husband is on the down low.

by Anonymousreply 82Last Monday at 1:51 PM

I agree that porn ruins sex with younger guys. But at 55 when I have sex with men 40 and above they know what they want , like and sex is more focused and exciting. Porn ruins a great many young heads, gay or straight. It also teaches them that people aren't equals in sex. That good sex is about being a Dom and a sub. in various ways. That's why porn usually sucks. On the opposite pole a great many of my straights friends tell all the young girls act like Carrie Bradshaw.

by Anonymousreply 83Last Monday at 1:57 PM

R12 the Wrigleyville Cumdump has a Twitter! Too bad it's private.

Does Equinox=bareback bottom?

Offsite Link
by Anonymousreply 84Last Monday at 1:58 PM

R82 huh? Think you’re confused, or that your response was meant for someone else.

Or were you cracking wise about Fraus who come here in disguise? Because they irk me too, but not more than being accused of of one of those interlopers.

Ugh, and now you have me proving the humourless Lez stereotype. Dammit. Serves me right for asking a thoughtful earnest question, I’ve been here long enough to know better😅

by Anonymousreply 85Last Monday at 2:07 PM

@r25 😅 bless your heart.

by Anonymousreply 86Last Monday at 4:03 PM

It's not porn, it's Tina.

by Anonymousreply 87Last Monday at 4:09 PM

Choke you dead @ R86. 🛑

by Anonymousreply 88Last Monday at 4:31 PM

R72 - if they don't find a vaccine soon, guys will start taking their phones out for a Zoom meeting. THEN a whole new genre of porn will emerge...

by Anonymousreply 89Last Monday at 5:03 PM

R89 Too late, some porn studios have already done videos like that

by Anonymousreply 90Last Monday at 5:06 PM

The choking fad needs to end.

by Anonymousreply 91Last Monday at 6:06 PM

[quote]R25: I like to piss in someone's mouth too, when it feels natural.

The mind boggles at such "reasoning."

by Anonymousreply 92Last Wednesday at 4:03 PM

R91 choking is now ubiquitous in hookups. It’s expected. Spitting and slapping too.

by Anonymousreply 93Last Wednesday at 4:46 PM
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