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Let's be a youth hostel!

I'm the rasta white guy with dreads and a bag of weed.

Offsite Link
by Anonymousreply 144Yesterday at 2:47 AM

I'm the lone hot water heater, and I'm perennially not working in the mornings, when everyone wants a hot shower since my friend, the heating system, is perennially not working, either.

by Anonymousreply 109/08/2020

I'm the eldergay, who never gives-up trying to check-in despite the fact that I'm decades past the posted age limit, because even though I'm 56, people mistake me, all the time, for 23.

by Anonymousreply 209/08/2020

I'm the filthy bunk bed mattresses.

by Anonymousreply 309/08/2020

I’m the person in the bunk at the far end of the room who is always asleep, no matter what time of day or night it is.

by Anonymousreply 409/08/2020

I am the Janeane Garofalo paraphernalia scattered all over the walls

by Anonymousreply 509/08/2020

I the constant smell of pachouli, clove cigarettes and BO that never goes away no matter how hard you scrub the walls. Even though you don't and never did.

by Anonymousreply 609/08/2020

I'm the giant labia!

by Anonymousreply 709/08/2020

I’m the guy snoring louder than all the bikes at Sturgis combined.

by Anonymousreply 809/08/2020

I'm the fungal infection waiting for you in the showers and the bed bugs hiding inside of R3.

by Anonymousreply 909/08/2020

I'm the vegan couple who take over the communal kitchen with a 20-pot meal

by Anonymousreply 1009/08/2020

I am the following:

"Youth hostel guest, you in danguh, girl! "

by Anonymousreply 1109/08/2020

I'm the 30 or so carefully-labeled plastic tupperwares of vegan leftovers overcrowding the communal fridge.

by Anonymousreply 1209/08/2020

I am the guy trying to furiously masturbate under the covers while everybody else is "sleeping".

by Anonymousreply 1309/08/2020

I'm the couple that just met this afternoon and have been fucking all night non-stop, making everybody else in the room either super horny or super uncomfortable.

by Anonymousreply 1409/08/2020

I'm the sparse, inadequate cookware. One knife, one saucepan, one cutting board.

by Anonymousreply 1509/08/2020

I'm the copious amounts of pot found throughout each guest room.

by Anonymousreply 1609/08/2020

I am the smell of unwashed socks.

by Anonymousreply 1709/08/2020

I am the creepy old guy stealing underwear from the younger guys' backpacks.

by Anonymousreply 1809/08/2020

R17 that's heaven for me. I would be stealing those socks!

by Anonymousreply 1909/08/2020

I am Carlita the Argentinian backpacker. Some creep with dreads keeps harrassing me. I am eyeing up Sally the Ozzy a combine harvester driver from Victoria

by Anonymousreply 2009/08/2020

I'm the surly girl who checks you in. I've been working here for months in exchange for free room and board.

by Anonymousreply 2109/08/2020

I'm the hell-raising, drunken Brits.

by Anonymousreply 2209/08/2020

I’m the memento you’ll carry with you to your next destination: Crabs.

by Anonymousreply 2309/08/2020

I'm the serial killer on the run who is charming and plays guitar.

by Anonymousreply 2409/08/2020

I’m the scabies. Not quite crabs, but close!

by Anonymousreply 2509/08/2020

I’m over 40 years old with a good income and never have to step inside one of those places again.

by Anonymousreply 2609/08/2020

I'm the dank, moldy smell of the restrooms. All five of them.

by Anonymousreply 2709/08/2020

I'm the rooms that haven't been deep cleaned since 1981.

by Anonymousreply 2809/08/2020

I’m the infected insect bite you get while sleeping in a bed which was last properly cleaned during the Carter administration. I make your leg swell and break out in all shades of red and yellow. I’m going to require a lot of antibiotics and, even then, I’ll continue to recur.

by Anonymousreply 2909/08/2020

I'm the dorm dog who wants to be anywhere other than constantly being pet by these strange hippies.

by Anonymousreply 3009/08/2020

I'm the thought bubbles of various sweet young thangs when the local human traffickers show up with ideas of stocking their brothels with new trade:

"I wish I had a really angry black mother with a belt show up, screaming that I'd better get my fast, whoring ass home NOW!!"

by Anonymousreply 3109/08/2020

Are these dorms in youth hostels coed?

by Anonymousreply 3209/08/2020

I'm the weird European guy who walks around naked even when there is no reason to be naked.

by Anonymousreply 3309/08/2020

Where are you r33? Are you hot?

by Anonymousreply 3409/08/2020

R32, some are. Or were when I last used one.

by Anonymousreply 3509/08/2020

[quote] I'm the rasta white guy with dreads and a bag of weed.

I'm the blow job he'll ultimately consent to once he has become stoned and everyone, except the slender 20 year guy, has gone back inside.

by Anonymousreply 3609/08/2020

I'm all of the pubes clogging the shower drain.

by Anonymousreply 3709/08/2020

I'm the German, and I'm here to tell you what's wrong with whichever country you're from, especially if you're Canadian. I'll bring up every injustice ever committed against the "red Indians." When someone finally mentions the war, I become even more indignant.

by Anonymousreply 3809/08/2020

I'm the vegans having a lentil-based fart attack.

by Anonymousreply 3909/08/2020

Wait, some youth hostels have an age limit? No way. I would never ever stay at anything called a "hostel", "youth hostel", "auberge de jeunesse", or "backpackers".

by Anonymousreply 4009/08/2020

I am the free WiFi, people can stay here for days without hot water, but if I am offline for 15 mins, everyone will complain!

by Anonymousreply 4109/08/2020

I'm the guy with maple leaf patches on everything and a maple leaf necklace on so everyone knows I'm not American.

by Anonymousreply 4209/08/2020

^European-style youth hostels are/were meant to be dirt-cheap lodging to accommodate broke college-age kids who have no money but want to travel. It's usually the party hostels (the ones with a bar attached to it) who enforce an upper age limit and don't want 30/40/50+ complaining to the front desk about noise or the party atmosphere.

But really if you're of a certain age and make a certain amount of money, it's unlikely you want to deal with the situation below. I know I don't!

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by Anonymousreply 4309/08/2020

I'm female body hair, and I am on parade here.

by Anonymousreply 4409/08/2020

I'm the odds and ends left over from hostel guests past. Socks with no mates, "expired" curry powder, toiletries with 1/4" of product remaining.

by Anonymousreply 4509/08/2020

I'm the TV in the common area blaring oldies music videos in the local language.

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by Anonymousreply 4609/08/2020

I'm the free complimentary breakfast of overly-burnt toast with jam or Nutella.

by Anonymousreply 4709/08/2020

I’m the lice on the bedding.

by Anonymousreply 4809/08/2020

I’m a traveller, not a tourist, and I will bore everyone for years to come with exaggerated stories of my years bumming around.

by Anonymousreply 4909/08/2020

I'm the smell of unwashed laundry and unwashed bodies.

by Anonymousreply 5009/08/2020

I'm Americans not understanding the concept of a hostel and thinking everything about this is creepy and gross.

by Anonymousreply 5109/08/2020

I'm flip-flops for the shower. Don't forget me!

by Anonymousreply 5209/08/2020

I'm the layers of cum that have encrusted themselves into the shower tiles from decades of guys not being able to wank it comfortably in the dorm-room.

by Anonymousreply 5309/08/2020

I'm the person who walked and walked right back out, getting a motel for the night for $100 and knowing it's worth every penny.

by Anonymousreply 5409/08/2020

I'm the pretty, confidant blonde chick from Germany, who is an assistant manager at the Hotel Lydmar in Stockholm but I travel on the cheap and go to the intercambios. I get more dick than a sling pig.

by Anonymousreply 5509/09/2020

I'm the rooftop party, because the website photos of bunk beds in the rooms below are not exactly a draw for clients.

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by Anonymousreply 5609/09/2020

I'm piles and piles of top of the line climbing equipment. I'm worth 10s of thousands of dollars. I'm just sitting around this empty hostel in a Swiss climbing town while everyone is out drinking and getting laid, because this is the 1980s and theft doesn't exist. YET.

by Anonymousreply 5709/09/2020

Speaking of, we are the tall ripped steely Übermensch mountaineers from France through Slovenia. You only spot our kind in these towns.

by Anonymousreply 5809/09/2020

In my lifetime, I have had to flee from two hostels. One was (still is!) in Eilat, Israel, and the other was (now closed) in Los Cristianos, Tenerife (Canary Islands). I checked in, realized within 15 minutes I could never ever sleep in the dirty, mildewy, noisy, bedrooms and fled (within checking out). No refunds (fuck that policy!) but only paid about $15 for each place.

by Anonymousreply 5909/09/2020

Hostels in South America are usually beautiful and kept up like hotels, at least in the Southern cone.

by Anonymousreply 6009/09/2020

^^*fled (*without* checking out).

by Anonymousreply 6109/09/2020

I'm the anal

by Anonymousreply 6209/09/2020

I’m the five hot Brazilians with whom a US college kid shared a 6-bed hostel room in Paris one summer night. We are not the oversexed hole destroying cum gushing fuck beasts looking for a young American to ravage that our roommate wishes we were. We’re mostly interested in watching soccer and drinking vin de table till we pass out.

by Anonymousreply 6309/09/2020

I'm night 5 out of 7 as I fuck my way thru London on literally only a shoestring!

by Anonymousreply 6409/09/2020

I'm the guy in the lower bunk who sucked every dick waved in his face.

by Anonymousreply 6509/09/2020

I'm the copies of Rough Guide and Lonely Planet in various languages on the shelf in the communal reading area.

by Anonymousreply 6609/09/2020

I'm the Japanese backpackers. We're so quiet, you'll hardly realize we're here.

by Anonymousreply 6709/09/2020

[quote] because this is the 1980s and theft doesn't exist. YET.

What? Theft has existed since before the Ten Commandments (Thou Shalt Not Steal).

by Anonymousreply 6809/09/2020

Not in Switzerland. Before the 90s.

by Anonymousreply 6909/09/2020

I'm the hairy European girls.

by Anonymousreply 7009/09/2020

I'm the pinhole camera that the weird manager has installed in the women's bathroom.

by Anonymousreply 7109/09/2020

R71 Fuck that shit, this is DL, I'm the pinhole the weird manager installed in the men's bathroom

by Anonymousreply 7209/09/2020

R72 She's a womyn manager who is telling you NOW, since she forgot to tell you THEN.

by Anonymousreply 7309/09/2020

I'm the French speakers forming their own clique.

by Anonymousreply 7409/09/2020

I'm morning breath. I soon change to the more potent all day breath.

by Anonymousreply 7509/09/2020

I'm the flickering fluorescent light in the bathroom that will never be fixed.

by Anonymousreply 7609/09/2020

I managed a hostel for 20 years and I can verify that I have seen everything in this thread. I didn't have my own pinhole cameras, but we did have more than one guest try to set up cameras in the walls.

by Anonymousreply 7709/09/2020

I’m the random. I’ll probably wank your effusive hairy Spanish boyfriend off in the bogs later on.

by Anonymousreply 7809/09/2020

R76, I'm the dead moths stuck to the flickering lightbulb. No one ever washed me off.

by Anonymousreply 7909/09/2020

I'm the shameless couple who tuck blankets and towels around the perimeter of the bottom bunk so as to be ever-so-discreet about us having sex right out in the dorm room.

by Anonymousreply 8009/09/2020

I'm Airbnb. I am (thankfully) killing hostels and other crappy lodgings.

by Anonymousreply 8109/09/2020

I am the single outlet in the room that has about 9 things plugged in. I like to shower sparks on the crowd to remind them that this place is a tender box, please plug your iPhone in at the front desk.

by Anonymousreply 8209/09/2020

I'm the loud fart blasted while people try to fall asleep. There will be much finger-pointing and denial.

by Anonymousreply 8309/09/2020

I'm all the things stolen from your backpack by the gypsies who check in just to steal

by Anonymousreply 8409/09/2020

Too much sugar and carbs in your diet, OP.

by Anonymousreply 8509/09/2020

[quote] I'm the loud fart blasted while people try to fall asleep. There will be much finger-pointing and denial.

I once took an overnight boat ride to travel from Tokyo to one of the islands lying south of Tokyo. I can't remember whether there were different classes of travel within the boat. However, there were a bunch of young, drunk guys in sleeping bags on the floor. My friends and I were a few feet away, lying in our sleeping bags, trying to get some sleep. Every time I thought I could finally nod off - FART followed by laughter. Ugh! (Fart coming from the direction of the young, drunk guys.)

by Anonymousreply 8609/09/2020

Why would anyone stay at a place like this?

by Anonymousreply 8709/09/2020

R87, poverty plus horniness.

by Anonymousreply 8809/09/2020

I'm Covid-19, hitching a ride on everyone back to their home countries.

by Anonymousreply 8909/09/2020

R87, it's something to only really experience when you're 18-25 and broke. After that, your tolerance for such a situation wanes and you won't really 'get' it.

by Anonymousreply 9009/09/2020

I’m the odor of smelly socks.

by Anonymousreply 9109/09/2020

I’m the Australian backpackers who’ve been traveling around Europe for six months and look like they haven’t showered since they left home.

by Anonymousreply 9209/09/2020

I am the rare roll of toilet paper, which you are lucky to find, even though I will disintegrate while you wipe.

by Anonymousreply 9309/09/2020

I'm the electric tea kettle.

by Anonymousreply 9409/09/2020

[quote] [R76], I'm the dead moths stuck to the flickering lightbulb. No one ever washed me off.

I’m the handyman patiently explaining why it’s not a good idea to wash a lightbulb.

by Anonymousreply 9509/09/2020

I'm the pregnant Aussie couple on their babymoon. After the baby is born we plan to use a dresser drawer for a bassinet and set off on a year long tenting adventure in the outback.

by Anonymousreply 9609/09/2020

I'm the people that need to find SOMEWHERE ELSE to fuck.

by Anonymousreply 9709/09/2020

I'm the stench of smegma emanating from the, you know, *whisper* international visitors.

by Anonymousreply 9809/09/2020

Does America have youth hostels?

by Anonymousreply 9909/10/2020


by Anonymousreply 10009/10/2020

R99, some -- but there are way fewer of them and they are much more expensive.

by Anonymousreply 10109/10/2020

[quote]Does America have youth hostels?

309 in the U.S. (2%) (1454 in all of North America, or 9%)

5829 in Asia (37%)

4738 in Europe (30%)

2434 in South America (16%)

718 in Oceania (5%)

470 in Africa (3%)

In Hungary, you know what your are getting, more or less. In Thailand, you know what you are getting, more or less. In Chile, the same. But in the U.S., I don't think there's much clear expectation of what a hostel is or how widely it might vary one to another.

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by Anonymousreply 10209/10/2020

[quote] But in the U.S., I don't think there's much clear expectation of what a hostel is or how widely it might vary one to another.

This is true. The U.S. just doesn't have much of a youth hostel culture. If college kids are going off to visit another state, they don't all say, hey, let's all stay at a hostel. They're more likely camping, I guess.

by Anonymousreply 10309/10/2020

I’m the American boy sleeping on the upper bunk bed. I will be awoken around 4am, when the middle aged German man on the bottom bunk starts screaming in German due to his night terrors. (This really happened to me). Scary as fuck.

by Anonymousreply 10409/10/2020

I'm the cheap asshole handwashing their laundry in the bathroom and hanging clothes to dry in the room

by Anonymousreply 10509/13/2020

I'm everyone being fussy about their local preparation of tea or coffee in the kitchen every morning.

by Anonymousreply 10609/13/2020

Im the used heroin needle overlooked on the mattress when sheets were changed. I'll pierce your foot and eventually cause hepatitis that will never be traced to the source.

by Anonymousreply 10709/13/2020

I travelled solo in my 20s, r43. And even I wanted nothing to do with that crowd. People are filthy.

by Anonymousreply 10809/14/2020

I’m the white South African. My accent makes the Americans think I’m a slightly retarded Brit or Australian with a speech impediment or maybe he’s from New Zealand??

by Anonymousreply 10909/14/2020

R108, can't blame you.

by Anonymousreply 11009/14/2020

I’m the jackass who comes into the room at 2AM when everyone is finally fast asleep, turns on the light, and spends half an hour going through his luggage, where everything is stored in crinkly plastic bags.

by Anonymousreply 11109/14/2020

I'm the whole thickened yellow toenail from the big toe. I succumbed to fungus and fell off in the shower where I've been for over a month.

by Anonymousreply 11209/14/2020

I’m the Finnish teenage slut who has her miniskirts, bras, make up and high heels shattered all across the room so no one can get to their bunk bed without tripping at night m

by Anonymousreply 11309/14/2020

I'm the American girl visiting France and it's my first time at a hostel. I am puzzled and angry that there is no room service.

My name is Karen.

by Anonymousreply 11409/14/2020

We're the two Asian girls traveling together. We're always giggling and smiling and chattering to each other. We seem friendly enough, but behind those smiles we make fun of and hate anyone who isn't Asian.

by Anonymousreply 11509/14/2020

I’m the twins who fucks all the “straight” guys

by Anonymousreply 11609/14/2020

This sounds like The Real World for Europeans

by Anonymousreply 11709/14/2020

I am the hastily cleaned vomit. All that imbibed drink has to go somewhere.

by Anonymousreply 11809/14/2020

I'm the female guest who cancelled tampons. I make sure my rant about men not having periods is heard full blast by everyone during my three day stay.

by Anonymousreply 11909/14/2020

I’m the guy who wants to create a 5 course meal after a quick run to the shops using the mixed but inefficient kitchen supplies provided. Basically it ends up being some bullshit pasta special and a shit ton of cheap red wine and later some weed. All and all not a bad night really. The over night flatulence is ghastly.

by Anonymousreply 12009/14/2020

I'm the crumpled up used Subway napkin from the trash can on the patio being used as toilet paper.

by Anonymousreply 121Last Tuesday at 5:04 AM

I’m the American trying to visit 7 countries in two weeks because I don’t have enough vacation time or a tradition of gap years due to huge student loans and personal consumer debt.

by Anonymousreply 122Last Tuesday at 5:18 AM

I’m the scabies mite who has hitched a ride from hostel to hostel.

by Anonymousreply 123Last Tuesday at 5:21 AM

I'm the English guy passed out in vomit in the bathroom.

by Anonymousreply 124Last Tuesday at 10:51 AM

I don't see how youth hostels can survive during these covid times.

by Anonymousreply 125Last Wednesday at 12:09 PM

Why not, R125?

Every case is different but a lot of the properties in city centers seem to have been bought cheaply. They may have local owners who can probably adapt to some lean times because of the low cost and profit margins. Or they were bought more recently as investment properties intended to flip use in more favorable real estate markets or more lenient regulations to conversion to luxury apartments for sale or rent.

In the.Covid interim, management can make a show.of providing whatever greater separation is required of the locale; or they rent a room to one party of people instead of to individuals.

by Anonymousreply 126Last Wednesday at 1:39 PM

[quote] They may have local owners who can probably adapt to some lean times because of the low cost and profit margins.

This I can believe. It's not like owning a youth hostel was ever a business for somebody to get into if they wanted to get rich.

by Anonymousreply 127Last Wednesday at 3:06 PM

I'm Ivan Milat and I'm happy to give you a ride to wherever you're going.

by Anonymousreply 128Last Wednesday at 4:02 PM

I’m so glad I’ve never stayed in a hostel. I’d rather stay in a dumpy motel where I at least have privacy and my own bathroom.

by Anonymousreply 129Last Wednesday at 4:05 PM

I'm the website advertising this "rustic" hostel near "a vibrant cultural area of the city - conveniently close to the nearest train station!" In reality, my paint-chipped walls, never mopped floors, and 1960s bed mattresses, laden with the scent of every traveler who passed through, are not as quaint as the heavily photoshopped pictures online would portray.

"Vibrant cultural area" also means I'm adjacent to train tracks and the local heroin dealer.

by Anonymousreply 130Last Wednesday at 6:49 PM

I am the 19 year old American who doesn't know how to hold his liquor and comes in tripping over everything, loud and obnoxious, and accidentally climbs into the wrong bed 3 times.

by Anonymousreply 131Last Wednesday at 7:18 PM

I'm rigor mortis. The guy everyone thought has been sleeping for two days is actually dead. His airpods will be taken from his ears before anyone calls 911.

by Anonymousreply 132Last Wednesday at 8:39 PM

I'm the passive aggressive signs everywhere reminding people to wash their dishes and put them back in the same drawer, return your linens to the front desk at checkout, no food in the dorms, label all your food or it WILL be thrown out, no use of the kitchen between 10pm and 7am, etc.

by Anonymousreply 133Last Wednesday at 9:32 PM

[quote] I'm the passive aggressive signs everywhere reminding people to wash their dishes and put them back in the same drawer,

Im the faded, peeling contact paper with the cornucopia design that was applied 14 years ago.

by Anonymousreply 134Last Thursday at 1:35 PM

I’m the unwashed ass.

by Anonymousreply 135Last Thursday at 1:40 PM

tinea pedis coating the grody grout between the rust color tiles in the cold but usually unoccupied shower room in the basement down the cement hall hall from the kitchen.

by Anonymousreply 136Last Thursday at 1:48 PM

I'm the German guy who goes around sniffing the unwashed asses after everybody else is asleep.

by Anonymousreply 137Last Thursday at 5:35 PM

I'm the woman who looks like a bag lady.

by Anonymousreply 138Last Thursday at 5:41 PM

I am the culture a young boy absorbed.

by Anonymousreply 139Last Friday at 8:50 PM

I'm the ever-present bedbugs...

by Anonymousreply 140Last Friday at 10:04 PM

[quote] I’m the unwashed ass.

Im the other unwashed ass and genitalia hooking up with you.

by Anonymousreply 141Last Saturday at 6:28 AM

I’m the artificial sense of international friendship and goodwill.

by Anonymousreply 142Last Saturday at 6:44 AM

I'm the German guy, looking to invade that Polish guy after promising not too.

by Anonymousreply 143Last Saturday at 6:45 AM

The verbal competition over who had the ‘most authentic experience’...usually something involving chickens on a bus. The old ‘I’m a traveller not a tourist’ oneupsmanship..

by Anonymousreply 144Yesterday at 2:47 AM
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