Let's be a youth hostel!

I'm the lone hot water heater, and I'm perennially not working in the mornings, when everyone wants a hot shower since my friend, the heating system, is perennially not working, either.

I'm the eldergay, who never gives-up trying to check-in despite the fact that I'm decades past the posted age limit, because even though I'm 56, people mistake me, all the time, for 23.

I'm the filthy bunk bed mattresses.

I’m the person in the bunk at the far end of the room who is always asleep, no matter what time of day or night it is.

I am the Janeane Garofalo paraphernalia scattered all over the walls

I the constant smell of pachouli, clove cigarettes and BO that never goes away no matter how hard you scrub the walls. Even though you don't and never did.

I'm the giant labia!

I’m the guy snoring louder than all the bikes at Sturgis combined.

I'm the fungal infection waiting for you in the showers and the bed bugs hiding inside of R3.

I'm the vegan couple who take over the communal kitchen with a 20-pot meal

I am the following:

"Youth hostel guest, you in danguh, girl! "

I'm the 30 or so carefully-labeled plastic tupperwares of vegan leftovers overcrowding the communal fridge.

I am the guy trying to furiously masturbate under the covers while everybody else is "sleeping".

I'm the couple that just met this afternoon and have been fucking all night non-stop, making everybody else in the room either super horny or super uncomfortable.

I'm the sparse, inadequate cookware. One knife, one saucepan, one cutting board.

I'm the copious amounts of pot found throughout each guest room.

I am the smell of unwashed socks.

I am the creepy old guy stealing underwear from the younger guys' backpacks.

R17 that's heaven for me. I would be stealing those socks!

I am Carlita the Argentinian backpacker. Some creep with dreads keeps harrassing me. I am eyeing up Sally the Ozzy a combine harvester driver from Victoria

I'm the surly girl who checks you in. I've been working here for months in exchange for free room and board.

I'm the hell-raising, drunken Brits.

I’m the memento you’ll carry with you to your next destination: Crabs.

I'm the serial killer on the run who is charming and plays guitar.

I’m the scabies. Not quite crabs, but close!

I’m over 40 years old with a good income and never have to step inside one of those places again.

I'm the dank, moldy smell of the restrooms. All five of them.

I'm the rooms that haven't been deep cleaned since 1981.

I’m the infected insect bite you get while sleeping in a bed which was last properly cleaned during the Carter administration. I make your leg swell and break out in all shades of red and yellow. I’m going to require a lot of antibiotics and, even then, I’ll continue to recur.

I'm the dorm dog who wants to be anywhere other than constantly being pet by these strange hippies.

I'm the thought bubbles of various sweet young thangs when the local human traffickers show up with ideas of stocking their brothels with new trade:

"I wish I had a really angry black mother with a belt show up, screaming that I'd better get my fast, whoring ass home NOW!!"

Are these dorms in youth hostels coed?

I'm the weird European guy who walks around naked even when there is no reason to be naked.

Where are you r33? Are you hot?

R32, some are. Or were when I last used one.

[quote] I'm the rasta white guy with dreads and a bag of weed.

I'm the blow job he'll ultimately consent to once he has become stoned and everyone, except the slender 20 year guy, has gone back inside.

I'm all of the pubes clogging the shower drain.

I'm the German, and I'm here to tell you what's wrong with whichever country you're from, especially if you're Canadian. I'll bring up every injustice ever committed against the "red Indians." When someone finally mentions the war, I become even more indignant.

I'm the vegans having a lentil-based fart attack.

Wait, some youth hostels have an age limit? No way. I would never ever stay at anything called a "hostel", "youth hostel", "auberge de jeunesse", or "backpackers".

I am the free WiFi, people can stay here for days without hot water, but if I am offline for 15 mins, everyone will complain!

I'm the guy with maple leaf patches on everything and a maple leaf necklace on so everyone knows I'm not American.

^European-style youth hostels are/were meant to be dirt-cheap lodging to accommodate broke college-age kids who have no money but want to travel. It's usually the party hostels (the ones with a bar attached to it) who enforce an upper age limit and don't want 30/40/50+ complaining to the front desk about noise or the party atmosphere.

But really if you're of a certain age and make a certain amount of money, it's unlikely you want to deal with the situation below. I know I don't!

I'm female body hair, and I am on parade here.

I'm the odds and ends left over from hostel guests past. Socks with no mates, "expired" curry powder, toiletries with 1/4" of product remaining.

I'm the TV in the common area blaring oldies music videos in the local language.

I'm the free complimentary breakfast of overly-burnt toast with jam or Nutella.

I’m the lice on the bedding.

I’m a traveller, not a tourist, and I will bore everyone for years to come with exaggerated stories of my years bumming around.

I'm the smell of unwashed laundry and unwashed bodies.

I'm Americans not understanding the concept of a hostel and thinking everything about this is creepy and gross.

I'm flip-flops for the shower. Don't forget me!

I'm the layers of cum that have encrusted themselves into the shower tiles from decades of guys not being able to wank it comfortably in the dorm-room.

I'm the person who walked and walked right back out, getting a motel for the night for $100 and knowing it's worth every penny.

I'm the pretty, confidant blonde chick from Germany, who is an assistant manager at the Hotel Lydmar in Stockholm but I travel on the cheap and go to the intercambios. I get more dick than a sling pig.

I'm the rooftop party, because the website photos of bunk beds in the rooms below are not exactly a draw for clients.

I'm piles and piles of top of the line climbing equipment. I'm worth 10s of thousands of dollars. I'm just sitting around this empty hostel in a Swiss climbing town while everyone is out drinking and getting laid, because this is the 1980s and theft doesn't exist. YET.

Speaking of, we are the tall ripped steely Übermensch mountaineers from France through Slovenia. You only spot our kind in these towns.

In my lifetime, I have had to flee from two hostels. One was (still is!) in Eilat, Israel, and the other was (now closed) in Los Cristianos, Tenerife (Canary Islands). I checked in, realized within 15 minutes I could never ever sleep in the dirty, mildewy, noisy, bedrooms and fled (within checking out). No refunds (fuck that policy!) but only paid about $15 for each place.

Hostels in South America are usually beautiful and kept up like hotels, at least in the Southern cone.

^^*fled (*without* checking out).

I'm the anal

I’m the five hot Brazilians with whom a US college kid shared a 6-bed hostel room in Paris one summer night. We are not the oversexed hole destroying cum gushing fuck beasts looking for a young American to ravage that our roommate wishes we were. We’re mostly interested in watching soccer and drinking vin de table till we pass out.

I'm night 5 out of 7 as I fuck my way thru London on literally only a shoestring!

I'm the guy in the lower bunk who sucked every dick waved in his face.

I'm the copies of Rough Guide and Lonely Planet in various languages on the shelf in the communal reading area.

I'm the Japanese backpackers. We're so quiet, you'll hardly realize we're here.

[quote] because this is the 1980s and theft doesn't exist. YET.

What? Theft has existed since before the Ten Commandments (Thou Shalt Not Steal).

Not in Switzerland. Before the 90s.

I'm the hairy European girls.

I'm the pinhole camera that the weird manager has installed in the women's bathroom.

R71 Fuck that shit, this is DL, I'm the pinhole the weird manager installed in the men's bathroom

R72 She's a womyn manager who is telling you NOW, since she forgot to tell you THEN.

I'm the French speakers forming their own clique.

I'm morning breath. I soon change to the more potent all day breath.

I'm the flickering fluorescent light in the bathroom that will never be fixed.

I managed a hostel for 20 years and I can verify that I have seen everything in this thread. I didn't have my own pinhole cameras, but we did have more than one guest try to set up cameras in the walls.

I’m the random. I’ll probably wank your effusive hairy Spanish boyfriend off in the bogs later on.

R76, I'm the dead moths stuck to the flickering lightbulb. No one ever washed me off.

I'm the shameless couple who tuck blankets and towels around the perimeter of the bottom bunk so as to be ever-so-discreet about us having sex right out in the dorm room.

I'm Airbnb. I am (thankfully) killing hostels and other crappy lodgings.

I am the single outlet in the room that has about 9 things plugged in. I like to shower sparks on the crowd to remind them that this place is a tender box, please plug your iPhone in at the front desk.

I'm the loud fart blasted while people try to fall asleep. There will be much finger-pointing and denial.

I'm all the things stolen from your backpack by the gypsies who check in just to steal

Too much sugar and carbs in your diet, OP.

[quote] I'm the loud fart blasted while people try to fall asleep. There will be much finger-pointing and denial.

I once took an overnight boat ride to travel from Tokyo to one of the islands lying south of Tokyo. I can't remember whether there were different classes of travel within the boat. However, there were a bunch of young, drunk guys in sleeping bags on the floor. My friends and I were a few feet away, lying in our sleeping bags, trying to get some sleep. Every time I thought I could finally nod off - FART followed by laughter. Ugh! (Fart coming from the direction of the young, drunk guys.)

Why would anyone stay at a place like this?

R87, poverty plus horniness.

I'm Covid-19, hitching a ride on everyone back to their home countries.

R87, it's something to only really experience when you're 18-25 and broke. After that, your tolerance for such a situation wanes and you won't really 'get' it.

I’m the odor of smelly socks.

I’m the Australian backpackers who’ve been traveling around Europe for six months and look like they haven’t showered since they left home.

I am the rare roll of toilet paper, which you are lucky to find, even though I will disintegrate while you wipe.

I'm the electric tea kettle.

[quote] [R76], I'm the dead moths stuck to the flickering lightbulb. No one ever washed me off.

I’m the handyman patiently explaining why it’s not a good idea to wash a lightbulb.

I'm the pregnant Aussie couple on their babymoon. After the baby is born we plan to use a dresser drawer for a bassinet and set off on a year long tenting adventure in the outback.

I'm the people that need to find SOMEWHERE ELSE to fuck.

I'm the stench of smegma emanating from the, you know, *whisper* international visitors.

Does America have youth hostels?

Ys.

R99, some -- but there are way fewer of them and they are much more expensive.

[quote]Does America have youth hostels?

309 in the U.S. (2%) (1454 in all of North America, or 9%)

5829 in Asia (37%)

4738 in Europe (30%)

2434 in South America (16%)

718 in Oceania (5%)

470 in Africa (3%)

In Hungary, you know what your are getting, more or less. In Thailand, you know what you are getting, more or less. In Chile, the same. But in the U.S., I don't think there's much clear expectation of what a hostel is or how widely it might vary one to another.

[quote] But in the U.S., I don't think there's much clear expectation of what a hostel is or how widely it might vary one to another.

This is true. The U.S. just doesn't have much of a youth hostel culture. If college kids are going off to visit another state, they don't all say, hey, let's all stay at a hostel. They're more likely camping, I guess.

I’m the American boy sleeping on the upper bunk bed. I will be awoken around 4am, when the middle aged German man on the bottom bunk starts screaming in German due to his night terrors. (This really happened to me). Scary as fuck.

I'm the cheap asshole handwashing their laundry in the bathroom and hanging clothes to dry in the room

I'm everyone being fussy about their local preparation of tea or coffee in the kitchen every morning.

Im the used heroin needle overlooked on the mattress when sheets were changed. I'll pierce your foot and eventually cause hepatitis that will never be traced to the source.

I travelled solo in my 20s, r43. And even I wanted nothing to do with that crowd. People are filthy.

I’m the white South African. My accent makes the Americans think I’m a slightly retarded Brit or Australian with a speech impediment or maybe he’s from New Zealand??

R108, can't blame you.

I’m the jackass who comes into the room at 2AM when everyone is finally fast asleep, turns on the light, and spends half an hour going through his luggage, where everything is stored in crinkly plastic bags.

I'm the whole thickened yellow toenail from the big toe. I succumbed to fungus and fell off in the shower where I've been for over a month.

I’m the Finnish teenage slut who has her miniskirts, bras, make up and high heels shattered all across the room so no one can get to their bunk bed without tripping at night m

I'm the American girl visiting France and it's my first time at a hostel. I am puzzled and angry that there is no room service.

My name is Karen.

We're the two Asian girls traveling together. We're always giggling and smiling and chattering to each other. We seem friendly enough, but behind those smiles we make fun of and hate anyone who isn't Asian.

I’m the twins who fucks all the “straight” guys

This sounds like The Real World for Europeans

I am the hastily cleaned vomit. All that imbibed drink has to go somewhere.

I'm the female guest who cancelled tampons. I make sure my rant about men not having periods is heard full blast by everyone during my three day stay.

I’m the guy who wants to create a 5 course meal after a quick run to the shops using the mixed but inefficient kitchen supplies provided. Basically it ends up being some bullshit pasta special and a shit ton of cheap red wine and later some weed. All and all not a bad night really. The over night flatulence is ghastly.

I'm the crumpled up used Subway napkin from the trash can on the patio being used as toilet paper.

I’m the American trying to visit 7 countries in two weeks because I don’t have enough vacation time or a tradition of gap years due to huge student loans and personal consumer debt.

I’m the scabies mite who has hitched a ride from hostel to hostel.

I'm the English guy passed out in vomit in the bathroom.

I don't see how youth hostels can survive during these covid times.

Why not, R125?

Every case is different but a lot of the properties in city centers seem to have been bought cheaply. They may have local owners who can probably adapt to some lean times because of the low cost and profit margins. Or they were bought more recently as investment properties intended to flip use in more favorable real estate markets or more lenient regulations to conversion to luxury apartments for sale or rent.

In the.Covid interim, management can make a show.of providing whatever greater separation is required of the locale; or they rent a room to one party of people instead of to individuals.

[quote] They may have local owners who can probably adapt to some lean times because of the low cost and profit margins.

This I can believe. It's not like owning a youth hostel was ever a business for somebody to get into if they wanted to get rich.

I'm Ivan Milat and I'm happy to give you a ride to wherever you're going.

I’m so glad I’ve never stayed in a hostel. I’d rather stay in a dumpy motel where I at least have privacy and my own bathroom.

I'm the website advertising this "rustic" hostel near "a vibrant cultural area of the city - conveniently close to the nearest train station!" In reality, my paint-chipped walls, never mopped floors, and 1960s bed mattresses, laden with the scent of every traveler who passed through, are not as quaint as the heavily photoshopped pictures online would portray.

"Vibrant cultural area" also means I'm adjacent to train tracks and the local heroin dealer.

I am the 19 year old American who doesn't know how to hold his liquor and comes in tripping over everything, loud and obnoxious, and accidentally climbs into the wrong bed 3 times.

I'm rigor mortis. The guy everyone thought has been sleeping for two days is actually dead. His airpods will be taken from his ears before anyone calls 911.

I'm the passive aggressive signs everywhere reminding people to wash their dishes and put them back in the same drawer, return your linens to the front desk at checkout, no food in the dorms, label all your food or it WILL be thrown out, no use of the kitchen between 10pm and 7am, etc.

[quote] I'm the passive aggressive signs everywhere reminding people to wash their dishes and put them back in the same drawer,

Im the faded, peeling contact paper with the cornucopia design that was applied 14 years ago.

I’m the unwashed ass.

tinea pedis coating the grody grout between the rust color tiles in the cold but usually unoccupied shower room in the basement down the cement hall hall from the kitchen.

I'm the German guy who goes around sniffing the unwashed asses after everybody else is asleep.

I'm the woman who looks like a bag lady.

I am the culture a young boy absorbed.

I'm the ever-present bedbugs...

[quote] I’m the unwashed ass.

Im the other unwashed ass and genitalia hooking up with you.

I’m the artificial sense of international friendship and goodwill.

I'm the German guy, looking to invade that Polish guy after promising not too.

The verbal competition over who had the ‘most authentic experience’...usually something involving chickens on a bus. The old ‘I’m a traveller not a tourist’ oneupsmanship..

I'm the covid 19 personal protection mask and Purell. What's a youth hostel?