The Worst Celebrity Fauxmances

Cringeworthy. That fake heart tattoo with the t is just sad. It’s something a five year old would don

R1 Not as sad as the “I Heart T.S.” tank top he had on.

Those pics plus that cringeworthy speech at the Golden Globes really killed any momentum he had. I mean, he was never going to be Bond but he still could have had a strong career. But the desperation was too much.

Putting an early nomination in for this woemance.

And Tom has a small dong, so that too helps derail his budding career.

Speaking of his dong, remember his lame "sexy" photoshoot?

These crazy kids.

R6 ewww. He really did think he was a budding sex symbol because some nerds thought he was sexy in Thor.

What was the main gist of his GG speech? I could never bear to listen to it.

This still gives me heartburn. I'm sure Timothee learned his lesson though.

I always thought the Hiddlestone/Swift romance was for a video she was creating for a song about the speculation about her personal life.

Sadly not.

Timithee's body is a complete boner-killer

Piddleson is just another over-privileged second-rate talent like woke Eddie Redminge.

I’m not sure this even counts, but Kevin & Dianne. She looks like a hostage in that photo.

True love

Shows a lack of talent re stars who can't even act like they're in love with each other. Sometimes not even "in like."

Liza and David Gest

What was that all about?

LOL, was just thinking about Liza and David and their celebrity friends.

How did Marine McCutcheon end up a that wedding??

So random.

David was having an affair with Martine

No comment necessary.

Ronan Farrow was also a guest at David and Liza's wedding, along with Natalie Cole, Petula Clark, Monica (of Brandy and Monica fame), Ashford & Simpson, Elaine Paige, Star Jones, Rosie O'Donnell, Janet Leigh, Diana Ross, Brian May and Anita Dobson.

#STARSTUDDED

Pick us! Pick us!

Spencer Tracy and Katherine Hepburn. Jesus. Give us a break finally.

Nick & Priyanka.

Did they really think anyone was gonna buy that?

R7, I loved that Cuoco called him "Superman" rather than referring to him by name in a subsequent interview about the publicity.

I'm not 100% sure she realizes she was wasn't [italic]actually[/italic] doing PR with Superman. Maybe her management told her it was to help protect Lois Lane from being kidnapped by supervillains?

These two always made my skin crawl.

Man, I miss fun celebrity gossip. There hasnt been a good “Christine the Nanny” or “I Heart TS” type of story in awhile. I guess Meghan and Harry’s fuckery is the closest we have. Theyre our 2020 version of Heidi and Spencer

R27 Celebrities are getting too savvy, that’s why. They’re better at playing us.

We'll always have Randy Quaid!

Remember Jake and Reese?

The love to last a lunchtime...

OMG. Was this actually... a thing?

Or were he and Anna remaking SOMMERSBY?

Ditto...

I can't decide which one was more obvious this one or the wrestler. I'm partial to this Italian employee of his as she gave no fucks after the contract was over and said "It wasn't like that, he was just like a father to me, nothing more..." LOL.

There were photos of these two fighting at one point but those have been scrubbed.

Has it really been 10 years since Luke Evans and his publicists decided to plant stories about him dating stunning fashion industry marketing expert Holly Goodchild, who was also Charlotte Church's ex personal assistant, having formerly been an openly gay man who boasted about the size of his porn collection?

R30 Nothing says romance like eye-fucking over a tray of nachos.

Ellen Page & Alexander Skarsgard. Anyone with half a brain cell knew she was gay.

R34, what I can't believe is that Luke Evans (1) didn't realize that gay men would remember him from his big [italic]The Advocate[/italic] coming out article, or (2) didn't think that they'd remind everyone else the instant the bearding attempts hit the public. Do you think he told his PR people and was overruled, or did he realize how it would go and just remain mum because he chafed at being pushed into the closet?

Robert Pattinson and Kristen 'I hate dick' Stewart. Also her fake affair with her married director.

[Quote] Maybe her management told her it was to help protect Lois Lane from being kidnapped by supervillains?

😆😆😆

[Quote] Also her fake affair with her married director.

Because it did wonders for her reputation in Hollywood. The girl is bi.

Alfred Lunt and Lynn Fontanne

Sam Heughan with all his beards.

Heughan's publicist is Jennifer Allen, who was also behind the Henry Cavill/Kaley Cuoco fiasco.

[quote]Heughan's publicist is Jennifer Allen, who was also behind the Henry Cavill/Kaley Cuoco fiasco.

Interesting. People in the know, tell us: Is it common for these things to be handled in-house, i.e. for both parties to be repped by the same PR firm?

Helen Hunt and Kevin Spacey.

Kevin Spacey and Bebe Neuwirth.

I don't work in PR, R42, but yes, it could be a publicist or a manager or an agent in common brokering the deal.

In the studio era, it was the in-house PR people who'd put couples together. Hepburn and Tracey, mentioned upthread, is one of the more glaring Hollywood fictions ever perpetrated, IMHO, and the media keeps that BS alive today.

And it continues. Here's Timothee and his hot-n-heavy gal-pal (at least for a moment in 2019), Saoirse Ronan. I guess they could swap eye makeup and contouring tips, at least.

I thought little Timmy was bearding with Eiza Whatsherface.

Timmy has a unibrow.

R22 I’m not sure if that was worse or this was:

R47 Aw, look at their matching shirts.

Zac Efron and Michelle Rodriguez.

Or was that just a drug hangout?

R49 drug hangout

Jon hamm and the red head chick (only really started parading her when they pulled his black face 3rd Rock episodes). The love triangle of Lady Gaga, Jeremy Renner and Bradley Cooper. Chris Pine and Annabelle Wallis.

Tom Cruise with any female.

Cory Booker and Rosario Dawson

[quote]The love triangle of Lady Gaga, Jeremy Renner and Bradley Cooper.

God, I hope that doesn't mean the two guys are an item. Cooper can do so much better than that angry little goblin.

R43 reminded me of the dark dark days in the early ‘90s when Helen Hunt played romantic leading ladies in earnest.

R49 I’ll see your Zac & Michelle and raise you a Zac & Vanessa Hudgens.

R56 at least Zac and Vanessa were believable.

As painful as it was to see Tom Hiddleston make such a fool of himself, I still have a soft spot for him. Anyone else I'd throw away, but for some reason I can forgive him for making such a stupid mistake.

I never believed Seth MacFarlane dated most of the women he's been connected with. The only ones I can believe are Amanda Bynes and Tamera Mowry.

Am I the only one who thinks that Hiddleston looks very hot at R6?

I would definitely hit that.

I think Seth dated Eliza Dushku too.

Haha. Don't forget Swifty and HARRY STYLES.

It's hard to tell if Taylor Swift was bearding for the guys, or if they were doing it for her.

She has had many lesbian rumors swirl around her, as well.

Also many lesbians, R64.

Hiddleston seemed more into the Swift relationship than she did - obviously because he wanted press and to be seen as a heartthrob. Still embarrassing when she writes songs about how she was never really into him and used him to get away from Calvin Harris. And yes definitely think she’s a secret lesbian or at least dabbles.

Kristen Stewart on the other hand is pure lesbian but I don’t think the married director knew that.

Yes. Steward sounds like pure lez, r66. She has many women as romantic partners but occasionally takes a dick.

All women are bi, in other words, and just fall on a spectrum: many dykes are asexual political animals that define their worldview through overstated hate of men, while bisexual women are sluts and "straight" women are the type that mostly like dick but occasionally lick pussy.

Kirsten is apparently bi with a preference for women. That is what the current culture calls a "lesbian" or "femdyke" (though Kirsten is toppling closer to butch as far as looks).

Legit question, where do all these Taylor lez rumors come from? I never got that vibe.

Didn't someone recently post pictures of Swift and Karly Kloss making out?

R69 Whaaa...? How’d I miss that?

[quote] All women are bi, in other words, and just fall on a spectrum: many dykes are asexual political animals that define their worldview through overstated hate of men, while bisexual women are sluts and "straight" women are the type that mostly like dick but occasionally lick pussy.

So all women are either dyke bitches, crazy sluts, or whores who homemake. Gotcha.

R70 it’s in the scrubbed from the internet thread, though the video, which was far more damning, has indeed been scrubbed.

The rumors have been around long before her friendship with Kloss though. They started with her first tour and her backup dancer. I’m not great at spotting lesbians but I could see it with Taylor. And her latest boyfriend seems gay to me so it could be a mutual bearding situation.

[post redacted because linking to dailymail.co.uk clearly indicates that the poster is either a troll or an idiot (probably both, honestly.) Our advice is that you just ignore this poster but whatever you do, don't click on any link to this putrid rag.]

But they sure acted like a couple...

Taylor was the "top."

My Fair Brady.

R63 It was obvious they hated each other even on pics.

Most of TS boyfriends are gay or rumoured to be gay. And yes, she has her own rumours too

R75, wrong! Karlie was the dominant partner and the top.

Tom Holland and any woman. The idea he was dating the rather sweet Zendaya made me laugh, but that current one, Nadia Farts, she is such a thirsty scrubber. Blind items say she's a yachter and I wouldn't be surprised given that she's in Sophie Turner's skanky gang of new money chavs.

[Quote] Tom Holland and any woman. The idea he was dating the rather sweet Zendaya made me laugh

They were cute. She downgraded with Jacob.

[quote] Didn't someone recently post pictures of Swift and Karly Kloss making out?

Here they are.

Her stans or cleaners upthread are laughable , feigning ignorance of her video and photos. Even TMZ still has an article with photos from the make out session with Kloss.

RDJ and his lesbian wife.

Poor freeper at r12 thinks "woke" is an insult

Dahlinks, don’t forget about us.

Aaron Rodgers and Olivia Munn

Michael Jackson and Lisa Marie Presley. A pedo and a druggy, scientology lesbian

Robert Pattinson and Kristin Stewart.

He put an engagement ring on it.

I don't think Michael Jackson smiled one time during the whole wedding (Liza & David Gest). In photos, it's apparent he was Liz Taylor's escort, so I'm pretty sure that was the only reason he attended.

Even with his 2 favorite ladies, Liz Taylor & Miss Diana Ross, Michael Jackson could not crack a smile. He must have been miserable. Plus, he had to travel all the way to NYC from California.

Shawn Mendes and Hailey Baldwin - she married Justin Bieber like ten seconds after they "broke up"

(R88,89) not to change the subject. Is Michael wearing a wig?

This is such a great thread....love it!!

And R60, you're right. That is a great pic at R6. Definitely see him in a new light

[quote]Michael Jackson and Lisa Marie Presley. A pedo and a druggy, scientology lesbian

At least that marriage proved definitively that the people who think Elvis is still alive are out of their gourds. I half-expected him to pop out of his grave at Graceland like a jack-in-the-box when that news broke!

R93 If Elvis had been alive, that wedding portrait would have been an instant classic, and not in a good way.

R80 Yes, they were cute because even they were a very obvious fake couple (to promote a film) they were not obnoxious like Chalamet or Shawn Mendes

R13 It counts. Around that time, he talked about marrying and having kids with her.

R21 Dominick Dunne was there too. I remember him talking about in in Vanity Fair.

R38 I think Stewart is bi and a slut.

No woman is attracted to a man. They are attracted to his resources. Lesbian s don't understand this.

Henry cavill and his entire beard collection. Who is she kidding?

Elvis and Priscilla, Michael Caine and Shakira, Martin sheen and his beards

Tom cruise and Rob Lowe dating Melissa Gilbert.

TomKat

Tom and Mimi. Tom and Nicole. Tom and Kat.

Has someone mentioned Edward Koch and Bess Myerson?

R99 ok then, explain why my mother married my mean, jobless, uneducated, white-trash father and stayed with him in a relatively content marriage for forty years? I doubt it was because of his lawn-mowing and rudimentary DIY skills.

He brought nothing to the table but desperation and a dick, and he was definitely the one trading up.

[quote] So all women are either dyke bitches, crazy sluts, or whores who homemake. Gotcha.

See, R71, you sum up the situation perfectly: you're another politicized, angry dyke. Thank you for the confession, dear.

What I love about lesbians is how they walk into it. When they think they're being serious, that's when they're hilarious. And when they think they're being sarcastic or funny, that's when they seriously walk themselves into accidental truths.

I'll let you figure out which side of the spectrum you fell into this time, dear lesbo.

Also, do some research on female sexuality. Over the last thirty years the results have been stark: women are inherently bisexual. And the "hardcore lesbians" tend to be asexual.

Have fun with that.

Jared and Ivanka

Merv Griffin and Eva Gabor

Malcolm Forbes and Liz Taylor

Bess Myerson and Ed Koch

R106, another lesbian cliche: deep-seated hatred of men stemming from some form of highly toxic Electra Complex, aka Daddy Did Me Wrong.

Look out. It's an angry, man-hating dyke that wants you to know her father disappointed her. What a surprise.

Freud would have a field day with that lez.

Rock Hudson & Doris Day.

The real issue with Taylor Swift is that she's so boring...nobody really cares if she's licking pussy.

Gay men are attracted to her as a beard because she's boring. She has faghag interloper -- one of those bitches that sits between two gay men at every party -- written all over her.

My guess is she makes straight men comatose. She has no sex appeal.

R111 Rock and Doris never claimed to be romantically involved off screen. They always made it very clear they were friends.

Rock Hudson has the same presence as Henry Cavill. Which is crazy, since Rock was gay and Henry is a raging heterosexual that builds his own gaming PCs.

Any and or all of mine.

Maria Sharapova and Alexander Gilkes. They must have terrible PR reps. I mean, who are they kidding?! Both are so GLARINGLY ghay.

Also, if rumours are true, Sharapova and Grigor were another lavender romance.

Have we forgotten Liberace and Sonja Henny ?

[Quote] and Henry is a raging heterosexual that builds his own gaming PCs.

😆😆😆

Tom Cruise and Cher.

R32, I remember seeing a series of those Jake & Taylor photographs and knowing something was amiss. Subsequent to that series of Jake & Taylor pics, I'd developed the ability to recognize similar faux-mundane-spontaneously-posed photos as PRomances.

Usually PRomances involve gleefully carrying groceries, mirthfully strolling in the park, cheerfully carrying coffee, joyfully leaving the gym or rolling around kissing on the beach. No interviews, just pics. Usually someone has new music, a new movie, a new show coming out within a week or two.

Ryan Seacrest and Teri Hatcher were a "couple" for a day or two back in 2012.

Anyone apart of a "couple" with Teri Hatcher are either gay or need their head examined.

Lance Armstrong and Kate Hudson or Cheryl crowe

Cher and val kilmer

R116 Grigor loved Maria and Serena, well, he loved go shopping with both

Bradley Cooper and that much younger model. I remember those ridiculous pics of them reading Lolita in a park.

Andrew Garfield and Emma Stone

Arnold and Maria shriver

R123, I actually think all the Kate Hudson romances are true. Just my opinion, but Kate Hudson's relationships don't seem like Fauxmances to me.

Romance is pretty much Kate Hudson's career now. Kate's doesn't do anything more than dating members of B-List rock bands, getting pregnant and giving interviews to women's magazines about how she balances romance with being a mother, keeping fit, dating, and making rom-coms.

Ryan Seacrest and Julianne Hough were a fauxmance for a week or two in Spring 2010. I think they "dated" for a few days around Memorial Day weekend 2010. There were lots of pics of Ryan and Julianne carrying groceries, drinking coffee and frolicking on the beach.

R130 They “dated” for three years. Doesn’t make it real, though. Weren’t there rumors he bought her a house after they split to shut her up?

R128, Arnold and Maria Shriver, married with multiple kids, was a fauxmance? WTF?

R131, true. True.

Julianne Hough sort of came out about her sexual orientation a few weeks after her wedding to Brooks, the ginger Canadian hockey player named Brooks. Then Julianne and Brooks started giving interviews about exploring their sexuality.

R129 it's called acting . All of America's sweethearts are lesbian ie Reese Witherspoon, Julia Roberts, paltrow, Anniston, Selena Gomez,Goldie Hawn,Sally fields, Melanie griffith, Meg Ryan,Suzanne summers, bo Derek, etc

Remember Jodie Foster, back in the day, dating Julian Sands?

Jodie and Russell Crowe. She sure could pick 'em.

Did Jodie take Mel's dick?

I think Jodie occasionally dabbles in dick.

She's a lesbian, after all. So that behavior would fit.

Is mel Gibson the only straight actor, Jodie?

Please, those guys are lesbian hags, she didn't have sex with them

I love this thread, and the user comments like "Eddie Redminge" is why I love DL.

Why is the OP's post greyed out? Everyone knows that was a fake relationship and they did it with comedy too, which is why it's one of the best.

Also, who is the couple on R4 is, sorry I cannot work it out.

R141, it's Armie "flat ass" Hammer and Rumer "slackjaw" Willis.

Thank you, R142. That's certainly not a good angle for him!

Timothee Chalamet and Lily Rose Depp, spotted deep kissing and staring longingly, while propped up on posts around NYC

JFK jnr and Sarah Jessica parker

Why is Timothee's name being mentioned here?

I think it's pretty clear that he's straight, whether you like it or not.

He's basically a man whore with women.

Nancy McKeon and Michael J. Fox. Such chemistry!

r147, which one is the man and which one's the woman?

The thing about these gay stars is that most don't leak gay ie Burt Reynolds and Loni Anderson and all the gays stars are linked in a web so you only need a few to out themselves to out the entire web. Generally, they don't date outside the celebrity web.

R146 You are really funny.

But a fauxmance doesn't imply that any member of the couple is gay. PR relationships are in most cases for promotion.

And Chalamet relationships are clearly fake (no matter if he is straight or not)

R150 Wait, wait, you mean most people don’t suck face on little boats 3 feet from the shoreline? In a notorious pap hotspot?

R151 That was really really embarrassing. He is supposed to be a good actor but he was unable to fake interest in her for their whole "relationship". And that sucking face nightmare could even cost him roles as romantic lead, because he was really really bad at it.

HW is really invested on him right now, but he should avoid pr relationships because sooner or later it will explode in his face

I've always felt sorry for Robert Pattinson

Yikes. Hope authorities catch up with R107/R110 before they inevitably end up murdering a camgirl or several in cold blood. That elevated level of incel delusion and bitter supremacist vitriol can’t bode well for hookers and Thai brides worldwide...:/

And there is no way that poster is a gay man, either. @Muriel can we have a more watertight filter to prevent the influx of creepster straight men? These days you can’t swing a fucking kitten in here without hitting some rabid mouth-breathing hetero zombie. If any do stray in from now on, on detection they should directly be fed to the trolls and the verified posters for brunch.

R154 r107 and r110 didn't seem to have anything to do with what you said, not that I understood either of you

R151 He was doing that to promote his new Bob Dylan movie, with the whole Mexican girlfriend (Dylan had one too) and big guitar show-off crap. Embarrasing is an understatement. Hope he learned his lesson but doubt that he will

R156 Actually he was doing that to promote his relationship with Lily-Rose Depp. I’m sure it’s a total coincidence that they were in a brand-new movie together and that they quietly dropped each other after it was clear the film wasn’t going to get any awards love.

R157 I thought R151 was talking about Cabo

R158 I meant Capri.

R153, I did too. He looked unhappy having to pose. Robert has distanced himself from those teen heartthrob days. The studios and PR teams really went into overdrive to make that PRomance look semi-believable.

Maybe the next possible forthcoming fauxmance being planned for maximum exposure will be publicized concurrently with Tom Cruise's next big budget film release. Joss Stone. Perhaps Joss will return from out of the blue and on to the cover of fashion magazines as a new iconic fashion trendsetter around the same time as the fauxmance is publicized.

R160 Being in a film like Twilight (which comes from novels that already had a rabid fandom) is complicated enough without your private life (no matter how fake it is) being used for promotions.

It's really surprising that Pattinson and Stewart were able to have a career after that (probably because both had a previous career and they were smart chosing projects)

Amen R11.

TOTAL boner killer.

What's with the Joss Stone troll?! Why Joss Stone, of all people?

[quote]I've always felt sorry for Robert Pattinson

I know celebrities get an insane amount of pressure to maintain a certain image, gain social media followers and stay in the news cycle, but I don’t feel sorry for them. They’re grown-ass people who can say no to these stunts.

[quote] And there is no way that poster is a gay man, either. @Muriel can we have a more watertight filter to prevent the influx of creepster straight men?

Why are witless fish -- yourself included -- all over DL complaining about men, dear? This is a men's site, not a menstruation site. Note the difference. Are you capable?

"Creepster". No man, gay or straight, talks this way, R154. This is the language of a dim, self-victimizing hag who thinks she can get her way by whining. Do you have a mirror?

And note that when your tendencies or any facts are pointed out that you never have a comeback of any sort -- never any rebuttal -- but instead only outrage and a demand that the offending party be censored and banned.

Yes, we know, you think hysterical women get to decide how gay men behave on their own site.

BTW, the posts at R67/R107 are factual: lesbians tend to be asexual -- angry, and politicized -- and most sexually active women swing both ways. This has been traced in testing for over thirty years. When I stated this, the dykes hit the roof but they provided no rebuttal. This pisses you off, and you have no reasoning ability, so you attempt passive-aggressive inanity and follow it up with self-victimization. This is, of course, supposed to result in the offending party being "banned".

Can't have women being offended while cruising a site they don't belong on, after all. If this place had a filter, the first standard needs to be that your kind is banned: you are not a gay man, obviously. DL does not stand for 'Demented Lesbian'. So you can be on your way.

You know what's funny? All lesbians are, by nature, incels; after all, sex is a foreign concept to a gold star dyke. And the ones that hang on here clearly have penis envy.

Suck on this.

I wonder if Sonny was straight and never knew that Cher was gay? Krazinsky the suspected Unabomber and Emily blunt seem like real hetero couple?

I wonder if Sonny was straight and never knew that Cher was gay? Krazinsky the suspected Unabomber and Emily blunt seem like real hetero couple?

TL;DR R167

Simon Cowell & Carmen Electra. I mean...really?