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The Christmas Moose Now Has His Own Ride!

Finally!

Offsite Link
by Friend of Christmas Moose reply 22Last Wednesday at 3:15 PM

Mamas of DL, beware!

There have been rumors of a moose trying to lure children into his van by offering them the opportunity to bottle-feed a litter of newborn tiger puppies.

Most children know that tigers don’t have puppies, so the moose hasn’t snagged one yet. But it’s just a matter of time.

I’m not saying it’s the Christmas Moose, but there’s a moose on the loose. I don't know who it is, I don't know if it's a he or a she. But if I were a resident of Stoneham, Woburn, or Melrose, I would tell my friends to keep your babies close to you. There's someone out there.

by Friend of Christmas Moose reply 108/21/2020

Dear Lord in heaven!

by Friend of Christmas Moose reply 208/21/2020

Spare a thought for our dear, departed Christmas Mouse, the original.

by Friend of Christmas Moose reply 308/21/2020

Is there no love for the Chanukah Mongoose?

by Friend of Christmas Moose reply 408/21/2020

[quote] There have been rumors of a moose trying to lure children into his van

Luring them for what purpose?

by Friend of Christmas Moose reply 508/21/2020

The Moose is indeed a good egg. Fuck the other ass dribbles that are the DL/Mediapolis mascots. They can't even unionize properly.

by Friend of Christmas Moose reply 608/21/2020

R1, Are we sure that's not Moosifer, trying to draw suspicion on the Christmas Moose?

by Friend of Christmas Moose reply 708/21/2020

I have verified that it’s not Moosifer, as I was confronted in the “employee only” parking lot. I had to explain we have salsa night at my place on Fridays. Formerly jazz night. The employee was familiar with all thar because Moosie gets a pass for the night. Now I don’t have to pick him up!

by Friend of Christmas Moose reply 808/21/2020

And what of Barbara Feldon, r8?

by Friend of Christmas Moose reply 908/21/2020

R9, She doesn’t usually travel to Boston. She’s almost 90, her salsa days are behind her. Years ago, I did see her and Moosie do an impromptu tango in the Waldorf-Astoria hallway, before it was closed for refurbishment.

There are no known photos of the event that exist.

Offsite Link
by Friend of Christmas Moose reply 1008/21/2020

Any of you bitches want to clue the rest of us into what this horseshit is about?

by Friend of Christmas Moose reply 1108/21/2020

How cute, a n00b @R11

by Friend of Christmas Moose reply 1208/21/2020

R11, The Christmas Moose had an office off Gramercy Park, where he occasionally has lunch and trades gossip with Barbara Felton. I forget how they met.

Normally he’s a docent at the Stone Zoo in Stoneham, Massachusetts where he works for peanuts. He’s a good dancer, swimmer, breather, and expert sleeper, too. He has a stuffed Eeyore he talks to when he thinks nobody’s listening and occasionally slepts with it in his mouth. I have to throw it in the washer all the time. He makes most of his money through high stakes Whist games (invitation only) and bitcoin. His mom is retired and lives with him. She mostly spends her day watching her soaps.

At Christmas, he leads Santa’s sleigh over Canada and certain overseas British territories.

by Friend of Christmas Moose reply 1308/21/2020

[quote] slepts

R13, I bet the Evening Punctuationist would have a field day with you. Randolf would probably enjoy watching.

by Friend of Christmas Moose reply 1408/22/2020

He was awarded the Order of the Garter by the Queen herself, for his work for her subjects! That entitles him to wear a blue sash which he saves for special occasions. (He has an extensive sash collection.) While he is officially a Knight, by does not prefer to go by “Sir Christmas Moose “

by Friend of Christmas Moose reply 1508/22/2020

[quote] Randolf would probably enjoy watching.

Like Jerry Falwell, Jr.

by Friend of Christmas Moose reply 1608/24/2020

Randolf is chaste.

by Friend of Christmas Moose reply 1708/25/2020

[quote] He was awarded the Order of the Garter by the Queen herself

Is there a queen of the mooses (or meeses)?

by Friend of Christmas Moose reply 1808/25/2020

No, Queen Elizabeth of Canada, silly!

by Friend of Christmas Moose reply 1908/25/2020

Thank you for the clarification, R19. Did the Governor-General present the sash or was it QEII herself?

by Friend of Christmas Moose reply 2008/25/2020

[quote] The Most Noble Order of the Garter is an order of chivalry founded by King Edward III of England in 1348. It is the most senior order of knighthood in the British honours system, outranked in precedence only by the Victoria Cross and the George Cross.

R20, QEII awarded the honour personally. It’s a very complicated procedure. It’s only awarded once a year, at most, and there is a limit to those so awarded. I think the Christmas Mouse’s death freed-up an opening for the Moose to get the commendation. It’s not just a sash, but includes a couple of stars that he doesn’t wear much because they don’t get placed on the sash, and since he usually doesn’t were anything else, it’s a painful piercing and you you know what a big baby he is.

The Christmas Moose is not affiliated with the late Christmas Mouse, btw.

by Friend of Christmas Moose reply 2108/25/2020

Thank you, R21, for respecting the progenitor of Christmas Moose. I am still grieving the loss of our dear and tender Christmas Mouse. The Moose, whilst lighthearted and slapstick-fueled, lacks our Mouse’s gentle heart.

by Friend of Christmas Moose reply 22Last Wednesday at 3:15 PM
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