The Christmas Moose Now Has His Own Ride!

Mamas of DL, beware!

There have been rumors of a moose trying to lure children into his van by offering them the opportunity to bottle-feed a litter of newborn tiger puppies.

Most children know that tigers don’t have puppies, so the moose hasn’t snagged one yet. But it’s just a matter of time.

I’m not saying it’s the Christmas Moose, but there’s a moose on the loose. I don't know who it is, I don't know if it's a he or a she. But if I were a resident of Stoneham, Woburn, or Melrose, I would tell my friends to keep your babies close to you. There's someone out there.

Dear Lord in heaven!

Spare a thought for our dear, departed Christmas Mouse, the original.

Is there no love for the Chanukah Mongoose?

[quote] There have been rumors of a moose trying to lure children into his van

Luring them for what purpose?

The Moose is indeed a good egg. Fuck the other ass dribbles that are the DL/Mediapolis mascots. They can't even unionize properly.

R1, Are we sure that's not Moosifer, trying to draw suspicion on the Christmas Moose?

I have verified that it’s not Moosifer, as I was confronted in the “employee only” parking lot. I had to explain we have salsa night at my place on Fridays. Formerly jazz night. The employee was familiar with all thar because Moosie gets a pass for the night. Now I don’t have to pick him up!

And what of Barbara Feldon, r8?

R9, She doesn’t usually travel to Boston. She’s almost 90, her salsa days are behind her. Years ago, I did see her and Moosie do an impromptu tango in the Waldorf-Astoria hallway, before it was closed for refurbishment.

There are no known photos of the event that exist.

Any of you bitches want to clue the rest of us into what this horseshit is about?

How cute, a n00b @R11

R11, The Christmas Moose had an office off Gramercy Park, where he occasionally has lunch and trades gossip with Barbara Felton. I forget how they met.

Normally he’s a docent at the Stone Zoo in Stoneham, Massachusetts where he works for peanuts. He’s a good dancer, swimmer, breather, and expert sleeper, too. He has a stuffed Eeyore he talks to when he thinks nobody’s listening and occasionally slepts with it in his mouth. I have to throw it in the washer all the time. He makes most of his money through high stakes Whist games (invitation only) and bitcoin. His mom is retired and lives with him. She mostly spends her day watching her soaps.

At Christmas, he leads Santa’s sleigh over Canada and certain overseas British territories.

[quote] slepts

R13, I bet the Evening Punctuationist would have a field day with you. Randolf would probably enjoy watching.

He was awarded the Order of the Garter by the Queen herself, for his work for her subjects! That entitles him to wear a blue sash which he saves for special occasions. (He has an extensive sash collection.) While he is officially a Knight, by does not prefer to go by “Sir Christmas Moose “

[quote] Randolf would probably enjoy watching.

Like Jerry Falwell, Jr.

Randolf is chaste.

[quote] He was awarded the Order of the Garter by the Queen herself

Is there a queen of the mooses (or meeses)?

No, Queen Elizabeth of Canada, silly!

Thank you for the clarification, R19. Did the Governor-General present the sash or was it QEII herself?

[quote] The Most Noble Order of the Garter is an order of chivalry founded by King Edward III of England in 1348. It is the most senior order of knighthood in the British honours system, outranked in precedence only by the Victoria Cross and the George Cross.

R20, QEII awarded the honour personally. It’s a very complicated procedure. It’s only awarded once a year, at most, and there is a limit to those so awarded. I think the Christmas Mouse’s death freed-up an opening for the Moose to get the commendation. It’s not just a sash, but includes a couple of stars that he doesn’t wear much because they don’t get placed on the sash, and since he usually doesn’t were anything else, it’s a painful piercing and you you know what a big baby he is.

The Christmas Moose is not affiliated with the late Christmas Mouse, btw.

Thank you, R21, for respecting the progenitor of Christmas Moose. I am still grieving the loss of our dear and tender Christmas Mouse. The Moose, whilst lighthearted and slapstick-fueled, lacks our Mouse’s gentle heart.

I stopped at the zoo, to see the Christmas Moose, only to learn he’s on sabbatical in Nice with Pierre.

Here’s some temporary ersatz replacements as zoo docents.,

The goats were seprrated away from humans because they can catch COVID-19.,

Is Pierre his boyfriend?

Some pics from the Stone zoo. I had to find my way around without a decent docent.

R24, it’s all on the down-low, or TMZ would never leave them alone. .

TMZ? The Moose Zoo?

Can meese get COVID?

R28, I don’t know, but they stamped his visa when he went to Nice in France. Sometimes, he gets special treatment because he’s a celebrity.

The goats at the Stoneham Zoo were roped off with a note that they were COVID susceptible, so you couldn’t breath in them. The note is on the second page, you have to click the link to see it.

Remember, if you can smell someone’s breath, you are too close.

I’m going to the zoo tomorrow. Should I bring carrots? I’m not bringing bitcoins, so don’t even mention that.

R30 (Pierre), I believe the Christmas Moose likes peanuts.

Do you think I can feed the animals at all, or will the staff tackle me and shift me off to a cage in some desert?

So, I went to the zoo today and saw Giselle the gazelle, but the Christmas Moose is still on sabbatical in Nice. Giselle really misses him. I think she should be on anti-depressants or something. She’s just not happy. It was a nice day, one of the few Summerish days left in the year, I think. The lions were passed out like they had too much to drink last night. Who’s running that place, anyway?

The goats were roped off, again, as they can get COVID, poor things.

The giraffes and zebras were entertaining but, come on, where was the virus exhibit? I want to see a COVID hive. We forgot to see the Gorillas. Oh, well, next time, I guess.

My friends brought lunch, so it was a nice day had by all.