Sage Advice for Gay Youths

[quote]Dump the fag hags, before they dump you.

Only if you see them as "fag hags" and not actual friends.

Use commas judiciously.

Be muscular and attractive if you want to bottom.

Fatties will get nothing.

Make money.

Take Prep and get checked for STIs every 3 months.

It’s kill or be killed. Accept it and plan accordingly.

Arm yourselves, the coming years are going to be very nasty and it's possible a lot of the stupider low-tier heteros might decide to take their problems out on us.

Always dreamed of a tough soft-butch but glamorous Moll eldermother as a mentor - a woman who takes no shit, is hard as nails and street smart but has a tenderness when it comes to nurturing younger women.

Maybe it’s too late for me, I don’t know. I grew up without any happy Out gay relatives, and didn’t come out myself until a few years ago. Doesn’t help that I live somewhere with very few gay people around (or at least, not living openly), and no places to congregate or seek advice.

Not to sound like a Yoga Frau, but I’m thankful to be basically healthy and safe and feel uncomfortable asking for more. However, my last therapist took issue with this attitude, and said that my mindset was limiting and impoverishing - that life was for living and I needed to make the most of it. She’s probably right, as when it comes to my life as a productive enjoyable profitable and full experience? I have to admit that the plan has been a fucking shambles.

My DL Uncles have been beyond brilliant in my darker moments and I owe them so much, possibly even my life; even still, sometimes it’s cold and lonely on the dyke side, and I could use all the lesbian help I can get.

I’m 27 now (is that Sister George territory?), but I still feel like a baby learning to walk in many respects because I didn’t have a liberating gay adolescence, and didn’t have any guidance with work or independent life from my family or school either. I don’t feel I have much advice to give actual babydykes, other than “come Out and leave your family ASAP no matter what”.

Don’t fall for any of your straight friends. You’ll only be setting yourself up for heartbreak if you do. Oh, and learn how to douche properly if you’re gonna get into bottoming.

If you're young and on DL, all hope for you is lost.

This thread is going to end up like an episode of VICIOUS, isn’t it...

That second sentence is verging on woodchuck, OP.

Why bother with advice. Gay youth are nasty selfish narcissists, they don't deserve guidance and they wouldn't take advice anyway because they know everything already. Let them suffer

Try your best not to lust after straight men, and don't think of them as the default setting - you'll find few, if any, gay men comparable and will be subjecting yourself to a lifetime of disappointment.

For bottoms: the dating scene has changed and is now mostly online, which allows an age filter, and the vast majority of tops will filter out over 30, so make sure you're in a long term relationship by then.

[quote]R10 If you’re going to demand a certain demographic sleep with another demographic be willing to sleep with those demographics yourself.

I would, conversely, tell them not to take gibberish as advice.

r11 it was 30 in the '00s, now it's 35 because more guys are taking better care of themselves.

Mix with people of different ages. (and cultures) Not everyone is bitter, and subject to sweeping negative generalisations about young people. Many of us enjoy your company, and are grateful to you for helping us stay up-to-date on things like the music scene, contemporary culture, tech, etc. You'll prove much more interesting and well rounded by having older, more mature friends. Befriend those younger as well, and try to impart any wisdom you've gleaned.

People in different stages of life oft have different things to offer, based on their own struggles and successes. Ageism sucks. Cool, interesting, worthwhile companions have absolutely nothing to do with age.

Be careful of wigs.

Watch out for women friends. Many of them are only fair weather friends and might not stick with you in times of need. They also tend to drop their gay friends once they find a straight man who wants them.

Hate yourself less. Appreciate more.

[quote]If you’re going to demand a certain demographic sleep with another demographic be willing to sleep with those demographics yourself.

I can't even begin to fathom what OP is trying to say here. Translation?

Bisexual men will break your heart. Sorry but it's true.

Come out as soon as you graduate college at the latest. You will regret wasting your youth because youth is the most valuable commodity in the gay community,. Money and looks can be somewhat improved, time can not.

Come out early so you can learn how to manage an honest relationship outside of the closet. Best to get over heartbreaks and losers early. I've seen too many 35 year old men break down like teenagers over a 3-month (or less) relationship. You need to build your emotional maturity.

Make work a priority. Most men will end up alone and childless. No one is going to care about you or likely want to take care of you when you're old. Plan your life with that in mind, but hope for the best.

Have sex! Virginity is overrated. Women have realized the foolishness of that trope for decades. Don't have to be a hoe, but don't pass up good dick over dreams of waiting for "the-one". The memories of that hot fuck will last you a lifetime and there will be many "Ones" that turn out to be nothing. Best to enjoy life as it comes.

Get off the internet and engage in society.

Stay safe. Prep is fine but condoms + Prep is better with strangers. Lots of STD can not be cured and can derail your health.

Gay youths? Don't buy into the bizarre and narrow "top vs bottom" polarities that seem to obsess some Boomer gays. (Unless you really believe this to be true for yourself.)

If you're 100% top or bottom, great. But realize that many other men are versatile, preferring one role with one partner, a different role with another. Some men don't particularly care for anal sex, or any kind of penetrative sex at all. Some are polyamorous.

And taking on one role doesn't have anything to do with your value or your sexual desirability.

Oh, I definitely understood what he was insinuating with that, R18. It's a reference to minorities.