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Let's be Hipsters!!

I'm the pork belly served on a wooden slab!

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by Anonymousreply 279August 22, 2020 6:36 PM

I'm the b.o.

by Anonymousreply 1August 9, 2020 9:08 PM

I'm the year 2003.

by Anonymousreply 2August 9, 2020 9:08 PM

I'm the moldy jam.

by Anonymousreply 3August 9, 2020 9:09 PM

I'm 2018.

I'm the last time hipsters were actually a thing.

by Anonymousreply 4August 9, 2020 9:09 PM

I’m reduction, don’t leave home without saying it!

by Anonymousreply 5August 9, 2020 9:10 PM

OP, you smell like a can of surströmming!

by Anonymousreply 6August 9, 2020 9:11 PM

I’m the dot com job that no longer exists.

by Anonymousreply 7August 9, 2020 9:11 PM

i’m the selfie of a tin-can cut, one eyebrow raised.

by Anonymousreply 8August 9, 2020 9:13 PM

I'm their former identity as emo kids.

by Anonymousreply 9August 9, 2020 9:13 PM

I'm Astoria, someone keep these cunts away from me.

by Anonymousreply 10August 9, 2020 9:19 PM

I’m the parent’s check for their rent for a ratty little Prewar apartment with no backyard, overpriced BBQ joints and intermittent MTA service. Damn you, Astoria!

by Anonymousreply 11August 9, 2020 9:29 PM

I'm the succulents and air plants.

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by Anonymousreply 12August 9, 2020 9:31 PM

Don't bother me, I'm eating pork belly.

by Anonymousreply 13August 9, 2020 9:32 PM

I'm the man bun!

by Anonymousreply 14August 9, 2020 9:33 PM

I'm the painstakingly curated vinyl collection.

by Anonymousreply 15August 9, 2020 9:34 PM

I'm the overbearingly LOUD proclamations at how "MUCH BETTER THE SOUND IS ON VINYL!!!!!!!!!!!!"

by Anonymousreply 16August 9, 2020 9:35 PM

I'm the line-dried clothes. I used to gray and sooty, but thanks to Rona I sparkle like a mountain stream!

by Anonymousreply 17August 9, 2020 9:40 PM

I'm the over-sized horn rimmed glasses, with clear frames, since I had LASIK 10 years ago.

by Anonymousreply 18August 9, 2020 9:41 PM

I'm "workwear" from the Duluth Trading Co. My owner does all his "work" on his cell phone.

by Anonymousreply 19August 9, 2020 9:41 PM

I'm the decade-old can of beard wax. I was actually used two times.

by Anonymousreply 20August 9, 2020 9:43 PM

I’m the beard shampoo, accompanied by my friends; the beard comb and the beard wax.

by Anonymousreply 21August 9, 2020 9:44 PM

I’m BRUNCH

by Anonymousreply 22August 9, 2020 9:44 PM

I'm not the one cleaning a wooden chopping board when they should have used their plastic one for cutting/serving meat.

by Anonymousreply 23August 9, 2020 9:45 PM

I'm the wild, unkempt pubes which look like the Amazon rainforest.

by Anonymousreply 24August 9, 2020 9:48 PM

I'm Long Island City, stop standing in the middle of the sidewalks, while posing with your friends, in your overpriced clothing, which looks like you purchased them from the local thrift shops.

Damn are you people tedious and predictable.

by Anonymousreply 25August 9, 2020 9:49 PM

I'm Ashland, Oregon.

by Anonymousreply 26August 9, 2020 9:51 PM

I'm the "soap nuts" natural laundry cleaner. I leave your clothes smelling like feet.

by Anonymousreply 27August 9, 2020 9:52 PM

I'm Jack Dorsey. People often mistake me for a homeless person on Market Street.

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by Anonymousreply 28August 9, 2020 9:53 PM

I’m the multi-colored hair with the texture of dry straw.

by Anonymousreply 29August 9, 2020 9:56 PM

I'm bone marrow for Happy Hour.

by Anonymousreply 30August 9, 2020 9:57 PM

I'm Austin! Keep Me Weird, Twee Hipsters!

by Anonymousreply 31August 9, 2020 9:57 PM

I’m fingernail polish on an otherwise masculine guy.

by Anonymousreply 32August 9, 2020 9:59 PM

Im clueless

by Anonymousreply 33August 9, 2020 10:00 PM

I'm the old lady baby names like Hazel, Violet, and Trudy!

by Anonymousreply 34August 9, 2020 10:01 PM

And Clara, Ruth, Judy, and Margaret!

by Anonymousreply 35August 9, 2020 10:04 PM

I exploited your movement... and then I destroyed it.

by Anonymousreply 36August 9, 2020 10:07 PM

I'm Scott Pilgrim vs. The World

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by Anonymousreply 37August 9, 2020 10:11 PM

I'm the oat milk!

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by Anonymousreply 38August 9, 2020 10:13 PM

I’m the Fiddle Leaf Fig in the corner, across from the Monstera.

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by Anonymousreply 39August 9, 2020 10:17 PM

In the knit cap that smells like organic, fair trade coffee fumes.

by Anonymousreply 40August 9, 2020 10:19 PM

I'm the small beanie.

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by Anonymousreply 41August 9, 2020 10:21 PM

I’m the mfa from Iowa Writer Workshop- it helped me get a gig at Fresh Pot coffee shop.

by Anonymousreply 42August 9, 2020 10:27 PM

I'm gonna start a candy store with home made candies lovingly wrapped by hand.

If I really like you I might throw in a few extra that contain my oh so unique beard hair. But if I don't like you I'll tell you to FUCK OFF!

by Anonymousreply 43August 9, 2020 10:31 PM

I'm they. You knew I'd crash this party!

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by Anonymousreply 44August 9, 2020 10:38 PM

I’m this fucking kettle.

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by Anonymousreply 45August 9, 2020 10:40 PM

I’m non-binary, gender fluid. I have a penis. I know I menstruate because I have to shove a tampon up my ass every few days to keep it from leaking.

by Anonymousreply 46August 9, 2020 10:43 PM

I'm the assholes that ruined the butcher shop in Kensington market.

by Anonymousreply 47August 9, 2020 10:49 PM

I’m the cute, blond twink in a tight t-shirt...who actually turns out to be married to a chubby frau and a father of two screaming munchkins.

by Anonymousreply 48August 9, 2020 10:57 PM

Wow, Jack Dorsey is gross. He looks like he reeks! Money sure isn't everything.

by Anonymousreply 49August 9, 2020 11:38 PM

I mine the past for EVERYTHING...clothing style, furniture/decor, hairstyle and 'artisanal' food, which is basically saying I use my great-grandmother's recipes from bygone eras and present them as fresh and new.

I present my lifestyle as being current. I don't have one original thought in my empty head. Yet I claim to be a 'creative' .

I live in formerly working class/industrial areas of Manhattan, Brooklyn and Queens. I'm now making my way upstate NY, because my parents are cutting me off and I can no longer afford to live in Manhattan, Brooklyn and Queens. My real job as a barista sure doesn't cover the huge rents downstate! I'm not making a dime with my art, yet I keep claiming 'working artist' as my career. I lie...a LOT.

by Anonymousreply 50August 9, 2020 11:45 PM

OMG! R50 WINS!

WELL DONE!

by Anonymousreply 51August 9, 2020 11:51 PM

I'm humongous hipster cock.

by Anonymousreply 52August 9, 2020 11:52 PM

I’m activated almond milk - nobody knows what “activated” means but they’re willing to pay double for me over ordinary milk that was squeezed out of a cow.

by Anonymousreply 53August 9, 2020 11:59 PM

I'm the authentic carniceria I just discovered!

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by Anonymousreply 54August 10, 2020 12:03 AM

I’m food trucks!

by Anonymousreply 55August 10, 2020 12:08 AM

I'm the mason jars and outdoor patio string lights.

by Anonymousreply 56August 10, 2020 12:13 AM

Milk8ng a cow is RAPE, R53. The cow never consented.

by Anonymousreply 57August 10, 2020 12:19 AM

I'm this wooden hipster fence!

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by Anonymousreply 58August 10, 2020 12:21 AM

^Made by Carrie’s whiney cockuld Aiden^

by Anonymousreply 59August 10, 2020 12:27 AM

I'm a 'scene' girl.

12 years later I'm a fat single mom with three kids living can a trailer park on welfare.

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by Anonymousreply 60August 10, 2020 12:27 AM

Is R60's photo of an actual hipster? She looks more like an emo fan gurl.

This is a female hipster. Most pf their fashion styles are throwbacks to the Grunge era and a lot have the Bohemian look from the 1960s, kind of like a young Marianne Faithfull. Disheveled, but wearing expensive hip clothing.

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by Anonymousreply 61August 10, 2020 12:49 AM

I'm the mind of an 80s Republican inside a crunchy granola neo-hippie disguise, checking my stocks on my smartphone.

by Anonymousreply 62August 10, 2020 12:51 AM

I'm the tall container of coconut water.

by Anonymousreply 63August 10, 2020 12:52 AM

Hipsters would kill to look this cool.

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by Anonymousreply 64August 10, 2020 12:54 AM

I am curated fucking EVERYTHING.

by Anonymousreply 65August 10, 2020 12:54 AM

I'm the inexplicable allegiance to Pabst Blue Ribbon.

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by Anonymousreply 66August 10, 2020 12:54 AM

I am the toxic heterosexuality they do nothing about.

by Anonymousreply 67August 10, 2020 12:55 AM

I'm "sourced" ingredients.

by Anonymousreply 68August 10, 2020 12:56 AM

I'm Bernie Sanders.

by Anonymousreply 69August 10, 2020 12:56 AM

I’m the vinyl albums of 2002 Gap model Marianne Faithfull in R15’s meticulously curated collection.

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by Anonymousreply 70August 10, 2020 12:56 AM

I'm the requisite bicycle.

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by Anonymousreply 71August 10, 2020 12:59 AM

I am working very hard to guess what the new hipster hat is about to be so I can be right on the leading edge of the curve at the right moment.

I'm guessing it's a tiny brown derby with a strap to hold it on that digs into the chin.

I'm ready!

It will look so good with my mismatched sideburns (check), cotton-sack shirt that says "BLM" (check), and pierced webs between each finger (check x 8).

by Anonymousreply 72August 10, 2020 1:00 AM

I'm the Soviet hammer-and-sickle pin on the shirt that is called "ironic" even though my wearer thinks it refers to Marx.

by Anonymousreply 73August 10, 2020 1:01 AM

I'm the Montessori preschool for their first batch of kids. I'm competitive and expensive to get into.

by Anonymousreply 74August 10, 2020 1:03 AM

I’m the movie “Stranger Than Paradise”. I caused this thread.

by Anonymousreply 75August 10, 2020 1:06 AM

[quote] I'm "sourced" ingredients

Don't you mean Locally sourced and SUSTAINABLE ingredients? Anything else is just a pox on society

by Anonymousreply 76August 10, 2020 1:06 AM

I’m the aeropress coffee device on the shelf next to the pour over coffee kettle.

by Anonymousreply 77August 10, 2020 1:07 AM

It came from a source, any source.

by Anonymousreply 78August 10, 2020 1:11 AM

I'm "farm to table" eating. (Tyson chicken farm to my table.)

by Anonymousreply 79August 10, 2020 1:13 AM

R77, I thought they were all into chemsex or whatever that fancy coffee process is called.

by Anonymousreply 80August 10, 2020 1:13 AM

I'm the £10,000 monthly HEMS payments from the iron-clad Irrevocable trust my grandmother set up. I mean thanks, but really it's not much and it's never going up! I've tried!

by Anonymousreply 81August 10, 2020 1:15 AM

I'm Temper Trap's "Sweet Disposition." I'll be played endlessly at hipster weddings anywhere from around circa 2011 to 2015.

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by Anonymousreply 82August 10, 2020 1:17 AM

I’m Tennis the band!

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by Anonymousreply 83August 10, 2020 1:28 AM

I'm age 40, something they will never admit to being.

by Anonymousreply 84August 10, 2020 1:33 AM

I'm the cold brew coffee and kombucha.

by Anonymousreply 85August 10, 2020 1:50 AM

The homemade kombucha that tastes like mold.

by Anonymousreply 86August 10, 2020 1:58 AM

I’m Grouper

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by Anonymousreply 87August 10, 2020 2:02 AM

I'm the moustaches and douchebro barbershops (hairdressers) that have a moustache somehow worked into their signage.

by Anonymousreply 88August 10, 2020 2:05 AM

I’m the ubiquitous porkpie hat, quickly becoming dated as well as annoying AF.

by Anonymousreply 89August 10, 2020 2:14 AM

R82! I love that song.

As much as I loathe hipsters.

I curse you to a lifetime of turmeric flat whites.

by Anonymousreply 90August 10, 2020 3:00 AM

R90, did you have a hipster wedding?

J/k. I likeD that song a lot too -- until it became part of the overplayed list.

by Anonymousreply 91August 10, 2020 3:11 AM

I only wear Che t-shirts.

by Anonymousreply 92August 10, 2020 3:31 AM

No, R93 - I’m neither hipster nor married.

by Anonymousreply 93August 10, 2020 4:28 AM

I’m a hipster douchebag.

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by Anonymousreply 94August 10, 2020 4:56 AM

I’m the half smoked Lucky Strike cigarette.

by Anonymousreply 95August 10, 2020 5:03 AM

I’m the 70s TV show T-shirt, probably with Farrah from her poster, or maybe Jimmy Walker with the word “DYNOMITE,” or perhaps the Fonz saying “Sit on it.”

People less self assured would be embarrassed to wear these ludicrous relics, but hipsters are so above caring what you think, they wear them all the time specifically as a big “fuck you” to your opinion.

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by Anonymousreply 96August 10, 2020 5:17 AM

r94 "Hipster douchebag" is redundant. Kind of like "Lesbian drama."

by Anonymousreply 97August 10, 2020 5:54 AM

I'm the rage and betrayal felt by thousands of hipster girls when our sensitive dream husband, Vampire Weekend's Ezra Koenig, hooked up with barely-legal Tavi Gevinson and shattered our fantasy that he was not a PIG like all other men.

by Anonymousreply 98August 10, 2020 5:57 AM

I'm the tiny house with the loft bed.

by Anonymousreply 99August 10, 2020 6:01 AM

[quote]I’m the 70s TV show T-shirt, probably with Farrah from her poster, or maybe Jimmy Walker with the word “DYNOMITE,” or perhaps the Fonz saying “Sit on it.” People less self assured would be embarrassed to wear these ludicrous relics, but hipsters are so above caring what you think, they wear them all the time specifically as a big “fuck you” to your opinion.

I was on a show where one of the producers was wearing a Gary Coleman t-shirt that said "bling bling" on it, underscoring what happened to all of his.

by Anonymousreply 100August 10, 2020 6:36 AM

I'm the stretched earlobes, you should start saving money for the inevitable reconstructive surgery.

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by Anonymousreply 101August 10, 2020 6:55 AM

I'm the Vietnamese Pho restaurant in the hipster neighborhood. I will overcharge these suckers at least $8 more for everything on the menu!

by Anonymousreply 102August 10, 2020 7:21 AM

I'm the random nautical tattoo.

by Anonymousreply 103August 10, 2020 8:23 AM

I’m the lumber-beard + flannel shirt + skinny jeans + Chuck Taylor sneakers combo. It’s a uniform!

by Anonymousreply 104August 10, 2020 8:47 AM

I'm the handbar stache

by Anonymousreply 105August 10, 2020 8:54 AM

r66 I taste like watered down piss.

by Anonymousreply 106August 10, 2020 9:21 AM

I'm the Dolly Parton as Virgin Mary tattoo.

by Anonymousreply 107August 10, 2020 9:27 AM

I'm the guy with the man bun and my anorexic wife and our dog "Harmony." We live in a converted school bus and like to take pics of us doing yoga at sunrise.

by Anonymousreply 108August 10, 2020 9:34 AM

I'm the organic handmade wood crate that Blake Lively sold 350,00€ on her website. I'm handsomely sitting on a cool 5€ fleamarker bicycle that never leaves the living room.

by Anonymousreply 109August 10, 2020 9:39 AM

R108, Harmony is actually our son, the dog is named ' Henry '.

by Anonymousreply 110August 10, 2020 9:45 AM

I'm Sufjan Stevens. WHET me ?

by Anonymousreply 111August 10, 2020 10:03 AM

I'm the entire shelve bursting with old copies of Vice magazine spanning back to 1998 up to around 2007. There was an entire universe of aesthetics in me, and at one point the entire world was paying close attention. Now? I don't wanna talk about it. I also have a troublesome relationship with Gavin McGinnis in my past and I don't wanna talk about that either.

by Anonymousreply 112August 10, 2020 10:47 AM

I'm the "taco" shop opened on main street in Hudson, NY. Our "tacos" were so small and bland and bad, and the prices so laughably high, even the residents of Hudson were pissed. When the complaints got loud enough we put a sign on the door telling everyone what a "real" taco was supposed to taste like, and where the ingredients were sourced from, and a quote from some famed traveler that said, "Just because food tastes bad doesn't mean it's bad food." That confrontation with the locals, and that sign, were really the entire reason we opened the shop. Less than six months later we went out of business because even the tourists stayed away. We closed having lost thousands of dollars of our trust fund, and felt completely satisfied. On to the next sour adventure. WE ARE BAD VIBES PERSONIFIED.

by Anonymousreply 113August 10, 2020 10:48 AM

I'm Kim and Thurston breaking up in 2007. I still can't believe I happened.

by Anonymousreply 114August 10, 2020 10:49 AM

I'm the vegan, I was on keto diet first then on Paleo, now my need of control extend outside my own habits because I can judge others from a higher moral level. It's also a great conversation subject, I'm a vegan!

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by Anonymousreply 115August 10, 2020 11:23 AM

I'm the Edwardian manual typewriter taking pride of place on my desk, I am writing my first novel on it, it's about angst.

by Anonymousreply 116August 10, 2020 11:48 AM

I'm the socks that are never used anymore in leather shoes. Not even in vintage boots in August. I need to make à come-back ASAP.

by Anonymousreply 117August 10, 2020 12:17 PM

I was a hipster before it was cool.

by Anonymousreply 118August 10, 2020 12:22 PM

^I’m Steve Buscemi, do you really want to get into this?

by Anonymousreply 119August 10, 2020 12:24 PM

Oh yes, yes I do.

by Anonymousreply 120August 10, 2020 12:31 PM

I am Killian Belliard aka ' le barbu musclé '. I was an international sensation until I shaved and people discovered that I'm actually below average and nasty,

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by Anonymousreply 121August 10, 2020 12:36 PM

I love pork belly, does that make me a hipster?

by Anonymousreply 122August 10, 2020 12:36 PM

I live in a tiny house I built myself, and ride my fixie bike to the store.

by Anonymousreply 123August 10, 2020 12:53 PM

I'm R119!

(I was ALSO a Gap model in 1993 before Hipster Doofus was cool!)

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by Anonymousreply 124August 10, 2020 12:58 PM

I am a snap-back trucker cap. Instead of a John Deere or Caterpillar logo, I have a random or heavy-handedly "ironic" graphic like a piece of sushi or a daffodil.

by Anonymousreply 125August 10, 2020 1:08 PM

Or a comical mustache!

by Anonymousreply 126August 10, 2020 1:24 PM

A new species would bless me as its creator and source. Excellent natures(?) would owe their being to me. No father could claim the gratitude of his child so completely as I should deserve theirs.

by Anonymousreply 127August 10, 2020 1:32 PM

I’m the Datalounger who has no idea what a hipster is.

by Anonymousreply 128August 10, 2020 1:38 PM

r15 and r16 could be boomers. I say this as the boomer former owner of a painstakingly curated LP collection, before I sold it to a probable hipster.

r22 What is hipster about brunch, a meal I’ve been eating since before they were born?

r29 and r46 (and probably r60) are queers, not hipsters.

My favorite practitioner of the kettle in r45 is Olympian Steele Johnson. He's a hipster?

R90, I simply have to know: what in the name of God is a “turmeric flat white”? Some of you don't need to "be" a hipster. You [italic]are[/italic] hipsters.

r94 would look so much more convincing if he had one of those hats hipsters call a “beanie.”

r103, why a [italic]random[/italic] nautical tattoo? How is one to distinguish it from a [italic]non[/italic] -random nautical tattoo? I have a hard time, frankly, thinking of any tattoo as "random."

Calcetines-obsessed r117, take your calcetines and go home. This mewl makes you the second most boring Datalounger ever. Just go.

by Anonymousreply 129August 10, 2020 1:59 PM

I'm American Spirit cigarettes. I'm all-natural, no additives or chemicals, yet in spite of this I'm stronger and more unpalatable than unfiltered Camels.

by Anonymousreply 130August 10, 2020 2:12 PM

R129 you must be tired.

by Anonymousreply 131August 10, 2020 2:15 PM

R116 get on this, right - my closeted hipster cousin had a typewriter set up on a table at his wedding reception, on which he requested guests type well-wishing poems to him & his Frau bride. There was a spoken-word poet entertaining guests, plus my cousin singing and playing an acoustic set of mopecore cover songs instead of a live band. Cuz wore a dark purple suit & cummerbund,the same one he married in, The whole shebang took place in a waterfront bar where all the furniture was salvaged and decked to look like a country house library. Drinks came in mason jars with straws. Mortifying, start to finish.

by Anonymousreply 132August 10, 2020 2:19 PM

r129 Since you asked, if random is defined as something haphazard or lacking purpose, the word fits the bill insofar as a lot of tattoos you see around - a line of text here, maybe a skull there. I could cite Lens or Jemima Kirke as examples of hipster types with tattoos scattered about their body. Those tattoos are not part of a sleeve or overall design, they're random. Raaaandom.

by Anonymousreply 133August 10, 2020 2:20 PM

Planning went into them, though, r133. Not random, no matter how many a's you spell it with.

by Anonymousreply 134August 10, 2020 2:27 PM

R129, it’s R90 here. No, I’m not a hipster, but I’m in a generous mood tonight so rather than suggest that you google it - a turmeric flat white is a warm drink made from the spice turmeric. It can also come in latte form if that’s more your thing. The latter is sometimes referred to as a golden milk.

They look and taste disgusting which is why hipsters love them, to outfox the oldies.

by Anonymousreply 135August 10, 2020 2:42 PM

I'm everything "bespoke" and "artisanal".

by Anonymousreply 136August 10, 2020 2:59 PM

I'm women's skinny jeans, worn by men.

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by Anonymousreply 137August 10, 2020 3:03 PM

I’m a bakery that only makes “artisan” baked goods so I can overcharge people....

by Anonymousreply 138August 10, 2020 3:16 PM

I’m the Bone Marrow Cocktails🍹

by Anonymousreply 139August 10, 2020 3:19 PM

R128, I'm Billy Corgan. Hipsters Unite!

by Anonymousreply 140August 10, 2020 3:27 PM

I’m the goat milk soap.

I’m artisanal.

by Anonymousreply 141August 10, 2020 3:30 PM

I’m “found items”.

I sound so much more authentic than “junk”.

by Anonymousreply 142August 10, 2020 3:39 PM

[quote] Don't you mean Locally sourced and SUSTAINABLE ingredients? Anything else is just a pox on society

Are you carbon-neutral?

by Anonymousreply 143August 10, 2020 3:39 PM

I’m carbon-negative - carbon-neutral is old school.

by Anonymousreply 144August 10, 2020 3:55 PM

I’m the constant “fuck capitalism” tweets, sent on my $900 phone.

by Anonymousreply 145August 10, 2020 4:02 PM

I'm the casual dropping in conversation of the fact that your artisanal bear's-claw pastry, which you paid 6.50 for, was bought from a black-owned business. I'm also the smug half-smile suggesting, "ha! top that for wokeness!"

by Anonymousreply 146August 10, 2020 4:11 PM

I am the dry toilet hand built at the back of the yurt. Technically, I am still sitting on my builder's parents multimillion property, but even in the dead of winter, we're self-sufficient. Except when it's very, very cold.

by Anonymousreply 147August 10, 2020 4:49 PM

I'm the fleur de sel nestled in between the Himalayan pink salt and truffle salt.

by Anonymousreply 148August 10, 2020 6:12 PM

I’m the wan complexion and studied unkemptness.

by Anonymousreply 149August 10, 2020 6:21 PM

I'm new fad that's right around the corner. You won't believe what y'all be wearing for pants by November!

by Anonymousreply 150August 10, 2020 6:55 PM

I'm Urban Outfitters. I'm the favorite store of hipsters, even though my CEO is a homophobe.

by Anonymousreply 151August 10, 2020 6:55 PM

I'm the insufferable dudebros blocking the aisles of the local brew store lamenting about making my own craft beer while swilling pisswater and trying to sound important and knowledgeable when none of us know the difference between a pilsner and an ale.

by Anonymousreply 152August 10, 2020 7:04 PM

I am the Steiner-Waldorf school that costs mother a hefty bunch every month, but, hey, her grandchildren deserve the BEST.

by Anonymousreply 153August 10, 2020 7:18 PM

I’m Bushwick, overrun by hipsters since Williamsburg was discovered.

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by Anonymousreply 154August 10, 2020 7:30 PM

I'm the Hot Hipster Version Of George Clooney.

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by Anonymousreply 155August 10, 2020 7:39 PM

I'm athleisure wear and beachy waves (hair). Appropriate attire for almost every occasion.

by Anonymousreply 156August 10, 2020 10:39 PM

If you know about the eclectic things I profess to like, my hopes and aspirations will be crushed. If someone else knows about them, I have failed.

I also pretend to "ironically" like popular things, when in reality I really do like them.

I want to wear my hipster uniform, and take my desginated mode of hipster transport (scooter, fixed gear bike, vintage motorcycle, or gasp! the bus) but it will take me an hour longer than efficient transportation.

My dog has just as many neuroses and prescriptions as I do and has his own wardrobe.

Both my significant other and I have bad greasy hair, pale skin and look like we might have rickets and are way too thin. But we can drink all damn day and do weed.

by Anonymousreply 157August 10, 2020 10:46 PM

I'm r129, a hipster who, like most hipsters, refuses to admit he's a hipster.

by Anonymousreply 158August 10, 2020 10:52 PM

I’m too obscure. The mainstream hasn’t discovered me yet.

by Anonymousreply 159August 10, 2020 10:58 PM

I'm the cardboard box under a bridge most of these assholes would be living in if their parents didn't pay for everything.

by Anonymousreply 160August 10, 2020 11:40 PM

I'm the movie Point Break -- they love me!

by Anonymousreply 161August 10, 2020 11:42 PM

I’m the folk singer who is no longer cool since I “sold out”.

by Anonymousreply 162August 10, 2020 11:45 PM

I'm the skinny jeans I'll never fit into for the rest of my life.

by Anonymousreply 163August 10, 2020 11:48 PM

I'm gonna bring KMart fashion mainstream!

by Anonymousreply 164August 10, 2020 11:51 PM

I'm about to launch a new show on Food Network, Rescue Food Truck. Check out my new show on HGTV, tiny house flippers.

by Anonymousreply 165August 10, 2020 11:54 PM

I'm the brief Health Goth and Normcore fashion fads of years gone by.

by Anonymousreply 166August 10, 2020 11:57 PM

I'm the manta of the hipster: "Their first album was better."

by Anonymousreply 167August 11, 2020 12:58 AM

TRADER JOE'S OWNS THIS THREAD.

by Anonymousreply 168August 11, 2020 1:02 AM

I'm hipster fashion, which hasn't changed in almost 20 years. 'If I could turn back tiiime'.

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by Anonymousreply 169August 11, 2020 1:13 AM

Loving this thread. We should start one about their severely damaged and challenged crotch fruit. Then again, that would be just another thread about GEN Z’ers. No thanks. Seriously, no thanks.

by Anonymousreply 170August 11, 2020 1:47 AM

Hipsters have been over for quite some time.

by Anonymousreply 171August 11, 2020 1:47 AM

I’m still man buns!!!!!!

by Anonymousreply 172August 11, 2020 1:53 AM

I'm Chloe Sevigny.

by Anonymousreply 173August 11, 2020 1:55 AM

We're the new, true, young, sexy and fun hipsters in Ravenna and Rome, Valencia and Bordeaux and Izmir and Tunis.

by Anonymousreply 174August 11, 2020 1:59 AM

I'm the SS haircut everyone had a few years ago

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by Anonymousreply 175August 11, 2020 2:53 AM

I'm the Fire Pit and Beer Garden--right in our own apartment complex courtyard! Doesn't everyone have us??

by Anonymousreply 176August 11, 2020 3:12 AM

Giant glomps of hair.

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by Anonymousreply 177August 11, 2020 3:18 AM

Beer Garten!

by Anonymousreply 178August 11, 2020 5:23 AM

I'm the artisan pickles that the hipster paid $30 for. Hipsters think I'm novel, but Polish grannies have been making me for eons.

by Anonymousreply 179August 11, 2020 5:27 AM

I’m a hipster who eats his own boogers.

It’s all about sustainability.

by Anonymousreply 180August 11, 2020 10:39 AM

I’m the stunning and brave blue-purple-pink rainbow hair.

by Anonymousreply 181August 11, 2020 10:45 AM

R156 wouldn’t this better describe a Basic, a VSCO-girl, or a Yoga Mom? My sister is far from a Hipster - she loves mainstream pop, sports, fast food, Netflix, YouTube celebrities, trend-hopping, Pilates - and she is rarely caught out of her athleisure. She wears it to get groceries, to eat at a diner, to visit family, to see a movie (back when we could still do that); she even proclaims her love of it to other people, with no trace of embarrassment or attempt at irony. She also has hair grown out to her mid-back with the requisite blond highlights.

And R181 certainly describes not hipsters but Tumblrinas, who often overlap with Enbys/Transtrenders/Wokesters. The classic garden-variety Hipster almost always prefers natural hair-colours, and will not be seen to visit a salon or buy Manic Panic like a trendy conventional plebe; and if they do choose to dye their hair, they either go ‘grey’ (gunmetal silver) with the help of a personal stylist friend in the privacy of their shed (sorry, ‘home studio’) then act nonchalant about it like they were just “acting as a practise model”, or they get an overpriced henna treatment on a whim which they will deny having the second they hear or read of a negative comment about it. I believe R181 was thinking of that nanosecond Hipster-adjacent trend Mermaidcore/Pastelcore that happened c.2011 and on which American Apparel tried to capitalise and failed.

by Anonymousreply 182August 11, 2020 12:09 PM

Are there trans who are hipsters or are the categories mutually exclusive? Cause if there are it would be DL catnip!

by Anonymousreply 183August 11, 2020 12:11 PM

[quote]I'm the pork belly

Somehow I knew that you would be OP.

by Anonymousreply 184August 11, 2020 12:13 PM

Male athleisure brings to mind “fuck boys“ or “hype beast” culture, where everything is “Supreme” and they decorate with those awful KAWS dolls and Murakami pillows. This includes rich white kids being “sneaker heads”.

I don’t consider them to be hipsters, but then again, it all kind of blends together at some point.

by Anonymousreply 185August 11, 2020 12:42 PM

R185 as I understand it, Hypebeasting was a natural Gen X pushback to the Hipsterism of Gen Y; preferring everything new and on-trend and consciously materialistic-Corporate culture, rather than everything retro and off-beat and self-consciously seeming to eschew fashion-as-industry.

by Anonymousreply 186August 11, 2020 12:49 PM

^^^meant to say *Gen Z pusbback

by Anonymousreply 187August 11, 2020 12:50 PM

Thanks R186/R187, today I learned.

by Anonymousreply 188August 11, 2020 12:54 PM

I’m the lie about having gone to Pratt. (I really went to OSU).

by Anonymousreply 189August 11, 2020 1:19 PM

I'm copies of Vice magazine, gathering dust in the corner.

by Anonymousreply 190August 11, 2020 1:28 PM

R182 is correct. The pink-blue-multicolored hair is certainly not a hipsterism.

by Anonymousreply 191August 11, 2020 1:50 PM

[quote]The pink-blue-multicolored hair is certainly not a hipsterism.

It is an LGBTQism.

by Anonymousreply 192August 11, 2020 1:54 PM

I’m smug, smirky, sarcastic and patronising cunts like this, who were inexplicably all over the telly & magazines from 2005-10 and were criminally overpaid for the privilege.

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by Anonymousreply 193August 11, 2020 2:05 PM

I'm their vinyl copy of The Saddle Creek 50.

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by Anonymousreply 194August 11, 2020 2:10 PM

Alexa Chung = fxansionista & scenester. Not hipster.

by Anonymousreply 195August 11, 2020 2:12 PM

I'm the stupid names that they give their poor children.

by Anonymousreply 196August 11, 2020 2:13 PM

I'm the leafy green or herbaceous names they give their children.

by Anonymousreply 197August 11, 2020 2:17 PM

From a few years ago, but this was hilarious.

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by Anonymousreply 198August 11, 2020 2:24 PM

I'm the "whoaah ahh ohhh..." In all their music.

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by Anonymousreply 199August 11, 2020 2:29 PM

R199 this is a thread about hipsters. Britney Spears is a hipster?

by Anonymousreply 200August 11, 2020 6:58 PM

I am the stubborn refusal to acknowledge the true inspiration for the manbun:

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by Anonymousreply 201August 11, 2020 7:53 PM

This thread is more exhausting than the hipsters themselves!

by Anonymousreply 202August 11, 2020 8:16 PM

I'm a mixologist.

by Anonymousreply 203August 12, 2020 1:43 AM

I'm R203's Angostura bitters and flamed orange peel.

by Anonymousreply 204August 12, 2020 1:47 AM

TBH, we’re all a bit bitter, fruity, and flaming, R204.

by Anonymousreply 205August 12, 2020 1:50 AM

[quote]I'm a mixologist.

No, you're an alcoholic in denial.

by Anonymousreply 206August 12, 2020 2:22 AM

Look At This Fucking Hipster hasn't been updated for 10 years. Similar to DL eldergay references on same.

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by Anonymousreply 207August 12, 2020 2:48 AM

I'm the functional alcoholism. We drink every day.

by Anonymousreply 208August 12, 2020 8:50 AM

This thread is just offal😄

by Anonymousreply 209August 12, 2020 9:48 AM

I'm the front facing baby carrier

by Anonymousreply 210August 12, 2020 10:03 AM

I'm the ball wash and Mr shave club subscription

by Anonymousreply 211August 12, 2020 10:04 AM

I drive an AMC Pacer that I think is so 😎.

by Anonymousreply 212August 12, 2020 12:40 PM

R211, I'm the vintage Gillette safety razor bought at a cunningly curated curio store in Hudson, NY. I am regularly replenished with high-end Japanese blades. My owner never shuts up about how superior it is to use a safety razor. Here he goes again with his spiel: it only takes a little getting used to, it's frugal, it saves the earth, it was good enough for granddad, it shaves close enough to split the atom, and shaving soap and brush give you an infinitely better shave than commercial shaving cream.

My owner, as you may have guessed, is a crashing bore.

by Anonymousreply 213August 12, 2020 12:46 PM

I'm the parents taking our baby everywhere, including bars, concerts and any social gathering that are obviously inappropriated for kids. We also make everyone else around uncomfortable. We don't care of course.

by Anonymousreply 214August 12, 2020 6:10 PM

I'm the road bike.

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by Anonymousreply 215August 12, 2020 6:22 PM

[quote] I drive an AMC Pacer that I think is so 😎.

The biggest disappointment since my Dorothy.

by Anonymousreply 216August 12, 2020 6:41 PM

[quote] The pink-blue-multicolored hair is certainly not a hipsterism.

Yep, that’s an SJW, something someone else upthread conflated with hipsters. A lot of these are pretty off. Whenever we do this thread there’s always a sizable number who think a hipster is anyone several decades younger than them.

by Anonymousreply 217August 12, 2020 6:52 PM

I’m the tangerine flavored LaCroix.

by Anonymousreply 218August 12, 2020 6:53 PM

We're the hormone pills they give to their gay son to turn him into a heterosexual trans girl. At least they're not like those fundie Freeper freaks who take their kids to Jesus Camp so they can pray the gay away, right? Right?

by Anonymousreply 219August 12, 2020 7:05 PM

You’re trying way too hard, R219.

by Anonymousreply 220August 13, 2020 1:08 AM

I'm La Croix shorts!

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by Anonymousreply 221August 13, 2020 5:04 AM

I'm the Brooklyn 'high-end vintage' store selling vintage rock T-shirts for $50+. Basically I'm filled with old clothes and other vintage 'curated' items you can get at the local Goodwill for $2 and up.

by Anonymousreply 222August 13, 2020 4:34 PM

[quote]Yep, that’s an SJW, something someone else upthread conflated with hipsters. A lot of these are pretty off. Whenever we do this thread there’s always a sizable number who think a hipster is anyone several decades younger than them.

Hipsters mine the past for 'their' ideas. That's all anyone needs to know.

Everything hipsters do and say is not original. Whether it's their clothing, their hairstyles, their Smith Bros beards, their hats (fedoras, beanies, Annie Hall hats on the women with their Francoise Hardy haircuts), their Danish Modern furniture, the music they listen to, their artisanal food and...well, everything.

A person can be in their 30s, 40s, 50s and up, yet still be an obnoxious hipster. I don't even think age plays a huge part in the description of a hipster. I remember an episode of SEINFELD when someone called Kramer a "hipster doofus", that was how many years ago?

"A derogatory designation for Kramer has been "hipster doofus", a moniker assigned to him by a woman in a wheelchair he once dated in the episode "The Handicap Spot", and occasionally directed at him by Elaine, as in "The Glasses". The nickname was first used in The Atlantic Monthly review of Seinfeld."

by Anonymousreply 223August 13, 2020 4:42 PM

"The term hipster has been around in various forms since the 1950s to essentially describe non-mainstream/counterculture people. It started in black jazz clubs where if you were cool enough to fit in, they called you "hep" (or hip) or a hepcat. This later turned into hipster."

by Anonymousreply 224August 13, 2020 4:42 PM

Danish modern is not hipster.

by Anonymousreply 225August 13, 2020 4:44 PM

I’m retro and you’re not!

by Anonymousreply 226August 13, 2020 4:45 PM

[quote]Danish modern is not hipster.

Yes it is. Hipsters collect all sorts of old furniture and Danish modern is one of the styles they decorate with.

If this decor isn't hipster I don't know what is, this is Mid-Century Danish Modern. I inherited a similar piece of furniture, this is actually quite nice.

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by Anonymousreply 227August 13, 2020 4:54 PM

I think Justin Theroux is hot.

by Anonymousreply 228August 13, 2020 4:59 PM

Ugh, the “Actually” Troll at R227.

by Anonymousreply 229August 13, 2020 5:00 PM

The fact that Danish Modern is one of the many styles hipsters decorate with does not make Danish Modern hipster. Many other people like Danish Modern.

by Anonymousreply 230August 13, 2020 5:05 PM

What is "hipster," exactly, about shorts that look like cans of La Croix?

by Anonymousreply 231August 13, 2020 5:07 PM

Hipsters drink water. Is water hipster?

by Anonymousreply 232August 13, 2020 5:08 PM

Saint-Tropez and Hamptons hipster differs from Brighton and Santa Cruz hipster.

by Anonymousreply 233August 13, 2020 5:12 PM

Hipsters do NOT force trans their kids. That's ridiculous ignorance. FAIL. Low esteem cube fraus with Munchausen syndrome by proxy trans their kids.

by Anonymousreply 234August 13, 2020 5:14 PM

I’m the artisanal oat milk. Who cares if I have more carbs than real milk from a cow? I’m plant-based and artisanal!

by Anonymousreply 235August 13, 2020 5:32 PM

I’m the difference between hip or hep and hipster. A person who is hip just naturally lives that sort of intriguing life. -ster always invoked it being forced or showy or try-hard.

by Anonymousreply 236August 13, 2020 5:36 PM

Get hep!

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by Anonymousreply 237August 13, 2020 6:42 PM

r231 It's ironic. Irony is one of the building blocks of hipster style. LaCroix is also a hipster beverage of choice.

by Anonymousreply 238August 13, 2020 8:03 PM

I'm the artisanal craft beer.

by Anonymousreply 239August 13, 2020 10:47 PM

I'm Poolside's cover of Harvest Moon.

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by Anonymousreply 240August 13, 2020 11:51 PM

Hippie is also derived from hipster. The fact is there has always been a counterculture, it has always borrowed and recycled as an obvious and self-awarereaction to consumerist mainstream culture, and it always bears a resemblance to previous iterations.

by Anonymousreply 241August 14, 2020 12:50 AM

I'm the ubiquitous fucking ukulele strummed with a faux guileless innocence.

Whistling optional and very rage-inducing.

by Anonymousreply 242August 14, 2020 1:00 AM

R182, you know your stuff.

Are the posts coming from inside of the wooden slat fence? ;)

by Anonymousreply 243August 14, 2020 1:04 AM

I like bohemians, not the rich kind.

by Anonymousreply 244August 14, 2020 2:15 AM

Hipsters = yuppies in hippie drag.

by Anonymousreply 245August 14, 2020 2:51 AM

R243 nah. I’m just under age 30, spend a lot of time online (hours a day since middle school), and regrettably went to University for Liberal Arts with a bunch of these annoying dolts. In hindsight I wish 18-year old Me chose Community College, stage school, or a local internship. Oh, well.

by Anonymousreply 246August 14, 2020 4:26 PM

R9 no. The true purebred Emo evolved through several stages, but always remained in some way recognisably Emo and therefore distinct from a Hipster.

The sources of Hipster influence and preference are manifold, and span across time. The sources of Emo do not extend nearly as far or as wide.

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by Anonymousreply 247August 14, 2020 4:29 PM

R246, R247, this makes wonder -- what age represents the peak hipster now?

by Anonymousreply 248August 14, 2020 5:26 PM

I’m the organic, artisanal, locally sourced, farm-to-table, wild caught avocado toast.

That’ll be $17.95 please.

by Anonymousreply 249August 14, 2020 5:30 PM

I'm easy homemade guacamole, laughing at $17.95 for mashed avocado on a piece of toast.

by Anonymousreply 250August 14, 2020 5:33 PM

All my “hipster” friends are still basically wearing normcore (Seinfeld clothes).

Granted, we are all well into our mid-30s now and keeping up has become exhausting.

To quote another aging hipster, Toro y Moi: “Decked in Patagonia head to toe... I can’t tell if I’m hip or getting old.”

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by Anonymousreply 251August 14, 2020 6:09 PM

R248 hmmm, good question.

The oldest hipster I know personally is 38, and he’s not exactly ahead of the curve, so I suppose the eldest Millennial Hipsters must be in their early 40s by now. There are a few of my acquaintance younger than me but not by much. My sister knows only a handful, so I doubt you’ll find many current-day Hipsters younger than about 23 or 24. The teens and early 20-somethings of now make a point to resist and mock Hipsterism, even though their own trends and subcultures - like all youth subcultures - are just as inane and laughable.

This is all anecdata, however; anyone, feel free to correct my lay anthropology (I feel like a Hipster just saying that!)

by Anonymousreply 252August 14, 2020 8:36 PM

The "Actually Troll", is there even such thing? Where the fuck do you get such bullshit?

What's with you bitter queens?

by Anonymousreply 253August 14, 2020 8:42 PM

[quote]The fact that Danish Modern is one of the many styles hipsters decorate with does not make Danish Modern hipster. Many other people like Danish Modern.

Wow, seems the point went waaaay over your head. There are very specific styles of furniture, clothing, hairstyles, types of food etc, which MOST hipsters adopt, that includes specific decorating styles. Is that too deep for you to comprehend?

So many Retro styles are associated with hipsters. I never said Danish Modern was only associated with hipsters, but it sure is one of many specific designs these people decorate with. Anything not current, they are drawn to and adopt.

Again, hipsters mine the past to create a very specific aesthetic, which is not current or modern, yet these hipsters think they are current and cutting edge in their approach to everything, they're not.

Hipsters sure do love Danish Modern and especially Space Age 'Jetson' styles. They particularly love this George Nelson wall clock.

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by Anonymousreply 254August 14, 2020 8:55 PM

I'm the tall, emaciated and nonchalant bearded barista at this hip Coffee shop that serves ' brunch only' until 3:00 pm on sundays. It's written on the chalk board. I know it's 4:30 pm now, but I won't serve you a muffin, because we keep the cakes for the brunch customers. I know there are 150 muffins on the counter right now and 3 customers in the place, but If you insist, I' ll just ignore you, and let the new girl apologize for me. She has no idea why you can't have a muffin. But that's the life. You can't always get what you want. Maybe you're just wearing the wrong coat. I don't care anyway, I absolutely don't give a shit what you two are talking about, I just pretend you don't exist.

by Anonymousreply 255August 14, 2020 9:03 PM

R252, that sounds about right. Peak hipster is probably people my own age (I'm 36), and while there are some who are both older and younger, the ones my age probably [re]-introduced some of the more regrettable hipsterisms -- handlebar mustaches, flannel, drinking all day/craft beer obsession. The straight-os are all starting to marry and have kids, so whatever their next iteration is remains to be seen.

by Anonymousreply 256August 15, 2020 12:41 AM

R245 Not necessarily.

I'm the part-time job as a theatre lighting technician. I'm also their evening job selling tickets at the local art-house theatre.

by Anonymousreply 257August 15, 2020 1:57 AM

I’m the undubbed uncut arthouse animé series with no subtitles. The hipster watching me cannot speak Japanese, does not typically enjoy animation or anything weeb, and doesn’t know a thing about Japan beyond a 6-week semester in College on Far Eastern Pop Culture. But he heard about me from a hipper friend who totally GETS world cinema and underground shows, so onto the watchlist I went.

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by Anonymousreply 258August 15, 2020 2:38 PM

R258 Pretty sure hipsters aren't weaboos.

by Anonymousreply 259August 15, 2020 2:50 PM

There is a venn diagram overlap, R259.

by Anonymousreply 260August 15, 2020 2:51 PM

R260 I think OP needs to return and define what a "hipster" is. I would never put weaboos and hipsters together. How on earth do those two "subcultures" overlap?

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by Anonymousreply 261August 15, 2020 2:53 PM

Why is the comparison to yuppies at R158 at R245 not an adequate explanation?

by Anonymousreply 262August 15, 2020 2:55 PM

What [italic]are[/italic] you going on about, r262?

And hipsters in their skinny jeans are hardly the same, stylewise, as hippies in their bell bottoms.

by Anonymousreply 263August 15, 2020 3:00 PM

R250/R261 the post literally said this:

[quote] hipster watching me *does not typically enjoy animation or anything weeb*

For the sake of yourselves if no-one else, please learn to fucking read properly.

by Anonymousreply 264August 15, 2020 3:20 PM

r251 Jerry Seinfeld is the fairy godmother of normcore.

by Anonymousreply 265August 15, 2020 5:19 PM

Ha. A friend of mine was just lamenting the other day about the frau-zation of Danish Modern, though I didn’t know that was the name of the style.

It’s also been hilarious to see the proliferation of ‘white room/plants everywhere’ in basic-ass commercials and TV shows.

by Anonymousreply 266August 15, 2020 7:19 PM

[quote]And hipsters in their skinny jeans are hardly the same, stylewise, as hippies in their bell bottoms.

Yet, hipsters do actually wear bell bottoms, especially the women, they can be seen rummaging through thrift shops looking for 'unique' clothing from the 1960s and 1970s.

Hipsters clothing styles are very much about wearing clothing from past eras, that's what their entire fashion aesthetic is about, the past. The skinny jeans are likely the most 'current' style they are wearing.

by Anonymousreply 267August 16, 2020 8:10 PM

I’m the chef in skinny jeans & black apron with tattoos depicting “bacon” and “flavor” all over my arms, hands, knuckles, and neck, black horn rimmed glasses, with too many piercings and too much facial hair that gets way too close to your food. I also use food to “tell a story” about my “journey”. PS—my journey involves lots of booze and heroin.

by Anonymousreply 268August 18, 2020 10:22 AM

I'm at my butchering class now, but afterwards I thought we might go to Smiley's in Bolinas and see if we can get in on some mandolin playing.

Tomorrow? We're putting up okra pickles...We'll save you a jar.

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by Anonymousreply 269August 18, 2020 10:46 AM

I'm the My Little Pony tattoo.

by Anonymousreply 270August 18, 2020 10:50 AM

I’m NOVELTY SOCKS.

by Anonymousreply 271August 18, 2020 11:19 AM

Unfortunately, my tattoo artist was so drunk, my most recent tat says: "NOVELTY SUCKS."

by Anonymousreply 272August 18, 2020 12:54 PM

My dad toured with Pearl Jam.

by Anonymousreply 273August 18, 2020 1:02 PM

I'm the guy who makes you a latte with almond milk when you order an almond flavoured latte.

by Anonymousreply 274August 18, 2020 1:24 PM

I actually once heard a hipster argue that the turtleneck style of top was created in the 1980s!

I am NOT kidding!

by Anonymousreply 275August 20, 2020 1:20 PM

I'm the social media posts about Black Lives Matter during the weeks that it is relevant. Despite shaming others by quoting Desmond Tutu, I've only gone to protests for an hour max, because I leave before things get too "rowdy".

by Anonymousreply 276August 20, 2020 1:28 PM

r276 and after you got your instagram photo.

by Anonymousreply 277August 20, 2020 1:36 PM

Justin Theroux is my idol.

by Anonymousreply 278August 20, 2020 2:56 PM

I’m all the size S/M All Saints apparel that sits in the closet now that yuppy hipster from 2012 has grown into his “man body.”

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by Anonymousreply 279August 22, 2020 6:36 PM
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