Which of these new priests are cookie-smellers?

What does that mean?

Burkemper!

Top row, third from the left got a whiff of double chocolate chip macadamias.

Billing

Simpler: Which of these new priests aren’t* cookie-smellers?

Who cares - they all look like the Elephant Man. That Scott Jones guy is the only one who's fuckable...sort of.

Yeesh. There’s no Thorn Birds fantasy man in that bunch.

They still indoctrinate new priests? Good lord what a fug-ugly bunch.

HONEY!! Get the kids inside! NOW!!

I'm hoping Fr. Christopher Smith is, he looks like a great ginger bear.

I think a lot of men would kill to have a head of hair like Fr. Wyrsch(last one in the list) Needs a bit of a trim, but man oh man, he sure has a lot.

OP they aren't NEW priests, they're just taking new assignments. They look like they've been priesting for decades.

Some of them look like straight up bottoms!

St Louis, such a weird place. So old, decaying, leaning on its very old accomplishments, its residents peculiar in their chauvinism of place that hasn't been anything much for over a century. Obsessed with the Church, and with which high school you went to. The most blatantly racist place I've ever been. There is one black man in the linked article, and he's not American.

Wyrsch wins the hair category.

The whole LOT of 'em!

Oooooh, Rev. Andrew V. Burkemper can smell my cookies any time!

Wyrsch is the new pastor where I went to grade school. Seems pretty old to be appointed pastor for such a large parish.

They got nothing on me!

Most assuredly Rev. Brian S. Fallon, pastor of St. Elizabeth of Hungary Parish in Crestwood.

All of them. Massive cock hounds. Big Infant of Prague supporters.

All of them.

I got the diabetus by number 8.

R17 Came to say the same.

He's smelling a whole bakery

All of them and none is even remotely okay-looking. MEH!

Circle Jerk after Compline!

Some actual "new" priests.

Front row, right and back row, left. Cutiepies, the both of 'em.

This thread inspired me to check out what the local batch of new priests looks like...EEK! I guess now you know why Melania fled to the the US.

But they were definitely an upgrade from the 2019 bunch! Looks like newly ordained priests look creepy as fuck, no matter which continent they're coming from.

Let's just say I'm doubling the recipe.

You can tell most of them are white-knuckling it.

Sister Wyrsch think she Barbara Stanwyck

[quote]Very Rev. Jeffrey N. Knight

What does one do to get the 'very' part?

I can't imagine any of them having an issue with celibacy and don't doubt they became priests cuz they couldn't get laid by women.

R31 Usually you get the "Very Rev" title when you are appointed the Dean of a cathedral. This is true in the Episcopal church, also.

Rev. Wyrsch has a Beethoven thing going on.

I've talked about this before on another thread about priests. My cousin was a Catholic priest who eventually left the church and is now an Anglican pastor; he's straight in case you're wondering he now has a wife and three kids. Anyways, he said that the majority of priests are self-hating gay men and most of the remaining have some kind of issue with their sexuality and/or personality problems. He said that many men who enter the Catholic priesthood believe they are doing so because they have been called but in fact are lured to the profession because they can hide their 'sexual otherness' behind a front of celibacy. He claims that men who enter religious communities like the Franciscans or Benedictines are actually mentally more stable and happy because they live with other people. Most parish priests lead isolated lives which helps to push them over the edge.

All of 'em

If you like ginger bears you'll love Reverend Christopher of Holy Infant

They look like they'd be gay if they had more courage.

R26 They can't all be hot priests like Niall Mcdonagh.

These priests have learned the perks of the priesthood from head escort hirer....erm, "temporarily housing" Italian actors doer Jeffrey Tobin.

They just have to be careful not to get caught LOL.

Third row, second from the left has “the look”.

The S&M priest wasn't bad looking

And by “look” I mean kiddie diddler.

Here's my favorite Catholic Franciscan priests., Brother Casey.

First I head of that Italian actor, R40, but it looks like he's upgraded now.

R46 That whole saga was nuts, culminating with Tobin tweeting out to him "Nighty-Night Baby, I love you." Tobin tried to say it was meant to be a DM to his sister, but I don't believe that and neither do the reich wing supporters of the Pedo church. These priests should stop talking about our community, considering how much "sinning" they get up to themselves.

Italian priests are way hotter. I mean look at them!

Hi there!

It was nice of that priest to help out a young actor in need!

It was nice of that actor to help out an old Cardinal in need.

R45 Father Casey is cute in a "bring home a geek to please your mother" kind of way. His fellow Francsican Fr. Dan Horan is also bookishly cute. Both are actually fairly progressive for Catholic priests, as they both have spoken up in support of LGBTQ+ rights and changing the Church's attitude towards homosexuality. Fr. Dan I suspect is probably gay, but I think Fr. Casey is probably straight. Actually, Fr. Casey was once flames by a bot on Twitter calling him gay. Casey said, you may have intended that as an insult but I receive it as a compliment.

Francesco Castiglione is a whore, darlin'

(R52) Yes, you're right, Father Casey is straight. He talked about the vow of celibacy and what he was giving up. He said he had girlfriends in the past. My impression was that he already knew all about sex, but was willing to give it up.

My close friend entered the priesthood and left after several years.

He said at least 95% of all priests just detected a fresh batch of oatmeal chocolate chip cookies baking.

I spent time with several of his priest friends who lived like married people. It's accepted and part of the church culture.

Why the hell else would you enter a profession where you aren't allowed to marry? It's the perfect cover for your religious family, and you know you'll be allowed to live as you please, enjoying homosexual delights in between homilies.

Borcic looks like he's trying to not cry in his photo. Looks guilty as sin. Granted retirement, but to live in a private residence rather than a rectory like the other retirees.

My mother has a thing about priests vs nuns. She hates that priests are catered to and drive nice cars, etc, while nuns sacrifice, live in poverty, and are constantly serving others.

She also thinks the church spends money on ridiculous displays of wealth and is hypocritical. She's not Catholic, but likes to judge anyway.

^ She's absolutely right, though.

[Quote] Francesco Castiglione is a whore, darlin'

That he is.

R50 R51 It seems quite obvious what happened there. Francesco, a struggling, soon to be middle aged actor, put out for Tobin in exchange for help with his career. Unlike with a lot of these skeezy Hollywood producers who engage in the casting couch, but then never follow through, Tobin lived up to his end of the deal.

After "temporarily housing" Francesco, Tobin got him work in the Vatican's film and TV productions. The reason he got to meet the head pedo Pope is because he starred in a 700 club like production of the story of John the Baptist for the Vatican's new streaming service (not a joke, it's a real thing). That wouldn't have happened if Francesco hadn't put out for Tobin.

So, struggling gay actors who read the DL. If you want a boost to your career, present hole for Tobin. Granted, you'll have to star in shitty Christian movies for geriatric Catholics, but at least it's a job and at least you know that Tobin will follow through on his end of the deal LOL.

MARY!

[quote] Father Casey is cute in a "bring home a geek to please your mother" kind of way.

Many in this thread have done worse than that I'm sure

"So, struggling gay actors who read the DL. If you want a boost to your career, present hole for Tobin. Granted, you'll have to star in shitty Christian movies for geriatric Catholics, but at least it's a job and at least you know that Tobin will follow through on his end of the deal LOL."

Paging Antonio Sabato, Jr

R52 I checked out a couple of Fr. Casey's videos and I don't like the way he talks. He seems very affected. Fr. Dan is cuter, but I tend to prefer bald guys so that's probably why. As R54 stated, Fr. Casey has stated that he had a girlfriend before joining the priesthood, although, that doesn't mean anything and his girlfriend may have actually had a dick and he's just saying girlfriend so the church ladies don't get their knickers in a twist. I'm pretty sure Fr. Dan is gay though. He's not out, be he posts a lot about LGBTQ rights.

[quote]Which of these new priests are cookie-smellers?

Easier...Which ones aren't?

It can't be that hard to turn a confessional into a gloryhole.

R64, I think I've seen that video.

Here's Francesco raving about his meeting with the Pedo Pope at R46, arranged after presenting hole to Tobin:

Vatican City, 23 June 2020. Today I felt very small. Before the strength of Pope Francis I was almost breathless. I could only observe with how much energy, delicacy and humility the Holy Father welcomed us and encouraged us to live giving the best of us, also through art. We told him about @vativision , an ambitious project, at the center of which there is a streaming on demand platform where there is also my / our documentary film "The Precursor". Giving Francesco the DVD personally was the most beautiful gift that life has ever given me. Thanks to the producers @bettysola and Nicola Salvi of @officina_della_comunicazione who gave everything for art. We will always remember what the Pope did@franciscus told us just before saying goodbye: When life is not poetry, the soul limps! 💙 # emotion #too big #papa #papafrancesco #gratitude #precursor #giovannibattista # 23giugno2020 #pope # 💙

The moment I wake up...

R67 Bitch, quit stealing my act.

R69. Bitch, how do we know your man is even a priest? My firm, succulent naked ass is at least deep in prayer with my rosary.

Did you not read the scandalous headline at R40? I didn't sleep with no lowly priest, you whore. I slept with a Cardinal: Il Papa's favorite, to be exact. I am the most senior of all whores in the Vatican, bitch. Bow at my feet.

R68 He's not a real priest. That's Mischa Collins an c-list actor from Supernatural.

Any gossip on Fr. Mike Schmitz? I've seen his videos on YouTube and he is a far-right "evangelical" Catholic. I know he has younger brother who is gay and lives out and proud in New York now. But Fr. Mike seems "off." He kind of has crazy eyes, talks way too fast, and seems "artificially happy." I'm assuming he has some kind of 'deviant' sexual issue.

Just the ones with a dick

If you're into the hunky bear priest type, check out one of Fr. Casey's brother priests, Fr. Patrick Tuttle. He's got a lot of videos about his daily life and vocation, and has even given a TED talk.

The words HUBBA HUBBA will come to mind.

they are quite obviously not new priests.

I just finished the documentary "Deliver Us From Evil." One of the most disturbing movies I've ever watched. Focused on a priest who molested a bunch of kids (his youngest was 9 months!), and the impact it had on the kids (now adults) and their families. Absolutely heartbreaking.

Also explored the Churches criminal complicity in shuttling these assholes to other parishes rather that kicking them up. All because they didn't want to admit guilt. What a fucked up institution! The Catholic Church is as evil as any cult in history.

My mom always said: Never marry a divorcee or a Catholic.

Yoy're probably one of them.. Grow up, OP.

Francesco the Whore should be the next datalounge icon!

How many guys did he spread 'em for?

Does "new" have a new meaning?

(R62) I don't think he's pretending to be straight. He has always come across as a straight guy who is earnest about his calling in the church.

Fr. Patrick Tuttle's TEDTalk is titled

....wait for it......

"In Order To Go Big, You Need Two Hands"

MARY!

MARY!

MARY!

From the first few pictures, they are clearly voluntary incels...

R79 I like the title "Francesco Castiglione: #1 Whore in Vatican City" personally. Fits right alongside Mrs. Patsy Ramsay and Darfur Orphan.

R83 Part of why the Catholic Church is so scandalized is because the priests are [italic] not [/italic] celibate.

Speaking of Michael Jack Bryne, he's back on Twitter. His DM's are open if any of you elder gays want to say hi LOL.

He's looking for guys between 50 and 90? LOL. Anyone know any 88-year-olds we can hook him up with?

Looks like the results of a casting call for a creepy priest movie.

Damn, that was a squirrrely.

Hi R62 & R81! I agree with R81 that Fr. Casey comes across as just being a nerdy straight guy. He is a progressive and supportive of greater LBGTQ+ inclusion in the church. The only ground of 'suspicion' you could have is that a growing number of people on his twitter talk about his "gay past," granted these people are probably just bots or ultra right-wing stupid catholics, but he doesn't actively deny it. He just responds with the lines like my orientation doesn't matter because I'm celibate. He's probably just saying that because it's true a priests orientation shouldn't be irrelevant if he's living a celibate life. But it does kind of mirror what glass closeted actors do when their sexuality comes up; the active non-denial denial.

The ones that are smiling - 80% of them look like they're standing outside of the Keebler cookie factory.

Byrne wasn't kidding when he said he was moderately hairy. His chest hair pops out in this picture.

I’ve always thought Father Jonathan Morris was hot as hell. He used to be a commentator on Fox, but he’s since left the priesthood.

You're all going to hell, where you will burn in the eternal fire. You do know that don't you?

R93 Do you feel the same?

Am I only dreaming, or is this burning.....an eternal flame?

This one

R92 Former Fr. Jonathan Morris is engaged now...to a woman.

But he's still thinking about

R96, of course she's Asian