The Perfect Picnic

Sorry but I'm not taking any tips from someone from Scranton, Pa!

I think he’s from Scranton via NYC, maybe that helps.

I looked at the pics of his picnic guests - yikes

Burlap table runners. Milk bottle flower vases. Galvanized tubs. Hay bales. Stacks of china. How precious. This is what Pinterest has wrought.

That's just too much effort to put into something as simple as a picnic. Growing up, our picnics consisted of two coolers and a paper grocery sack. One cooler held iced-down cans of soft drinks. The other contained packages of lunch meat, mayo, mustard, pickles and other condiments, and a Tupperware bowl of watermelon cubes or cantaloupe slices. The grocery bag was for the loaf of bread, bag of chips, paper plates, napkins and plastic forks, knives and spoons. We would set up on a picnic table in the local park (bonus points if the park had a playground). The kids would run amok playing while the adults sat in their lawn chairs, shooting the shit, smoking their cigarettes and occasionally yelling "Billy! Don't push your sister's swing so high! She'll fall out and break her arm!"

I hate people like R1 who are part of the "Coastal Elite"

I agree with you R4 -- if you're setting a table that looks like a fancy restaurant, outside, in the heat of the summer - you're just trying way too hard. It's fine to like nice things, care about how something looks and wanting to create some fun - but picnics are just low-fi events to both enjoy and combat the sometimes oppressive heat of summer - save the Table Queen extravaganza for Christmas.

And corn...do you want to kill your guests?

R7 - that pic is just weird - I love good corn on the cob - but who wants plain boiled potatoes outside in the summer? On closer look I also see sausage chunks - so three things that can be great prepared separately just thrown together in an unappetizing jumble.

Oh dear lord.

I have a feeling a couple of the elders in Bush Hollow think they’re just “business partners”!

I am not hauling galvanized ice chests, tablescapes and furniture to a picnic.

My friends and I usually picnic at Caramoor, an outdoor music venue north of NYC. Everyone has one of those picnic basket/bar combo totes. Some of the elder and infirm bring lightweight folding camp chairs but most people sit on blankets.

Posh Josh's picnics > r4's picnics. (Lunch meat & cigarettes?)

r8 Just cut up your potatoes and toss them hot in a vinaigrette, with fresh chopped herbs and lots of salt. Try to time it so you don't need to refrigerate it.

What a bunch of yinzers some of you are.

That pic of the food at the beginning of the thread - I can't remember the name of that dish but its popular in the South - I think they put clams or crabs in with it as well.

Frau-town.

The picnic pictured above looks like a lobster boil without the lobster.

A picnic is sandwiches, potato salad, pickles and soft drinks.

And ants!

This reminds me of the article I read about a wedding venue who constructed a purpose-built barn just for "country" weddings, because people couldn't find enough actual barns to decorate with mason jar candles, galvanized buckets, etc. for their Pinterest-ready nuptials. Or, if they did find actual barns, they were too old and gross.

R12 = Pinterest frau.