I’m the blur filter applied to the ageing leads’ baggy undereyes which occasionally drops out, revealing the dark, wrinkled mess beneath.
Let’s be a Modern Day Sitcom
|by Anonymous||reply 201||September 16, 2020 4:26 AM|
I'm the production design. No matter the target audience and show style, I'm overdetermined and nauseating, as I have been on every sitcom for 30 years.
|by Anonymous||reply 1||July 26, 2020 12:13 PM|
I'm the annoying white female lead who should be slapped but never is.
|by Anonymous||reply 2||July 26, 2020 12:17 PM|
I'm the obese guy who somehow scores a very fit and attractive woman.
|by Anonymous||reply 3||July 26, 2020 12:19 PM|
I’m the “likes” and “literallys” the characters will all say multiple times per sentence, each time with increasing vocal fry.
|by Anonymous||reply 4||July 26, 2020 12:35 PM|
I’m the breaking of the fourth wall.
|by Anonymous||reply 5||July 26, 2020 12:36 PM|
I’m the quirky Indian guy who acts super-gay but is really a rabid heterosexual.
I’m never funny.
|by Anonymous||reply 6||July 26, 2020 12:43 PM|
I’m the ironic mustache.
|by Anonymous||reply 7||July 26, 2020 12:44 PM|
I’m the too-clean apartment that looks like an untouched showroom.
|by Anonymous||reply 8||July 26, 2020 12:51 PM|
I’m Fran Drescher. I won’t be trotting out “The Nanny” in-jokes until episode 4, to give the show time to find its own voice first.
|by Anonymous||reply 9||July 26, 2020 1:08 PM|
I'm the upper middle-class home the principle characters live in. Few exceptions are allowed, but are refreshing such as "Roseanne" and "The Middle."
|by Anonymous||reply 10||July 26, 2020 1:28 PM|
I'm the laugh track - STILL USED IN 2020 - ridiculous.
|by Anonymous||reply 11||July 26, 2020 1:44 PM|
|by Anonymous||reply 12||July 26, 2020 1:59 PM|
I'm the deep seriousness of little Jrs school/romantic/behavioral issue that Sr and the Mrs have to finally confront in the third act.
|by Anonymous||reply 13||July 26, 2020 2:06 PM|
I'm a ordinary middle class sitcom set where every square foot of the decor has a light source. Every shelf is top lit. Dozens of wall sconces when this class of people rarely have wall sconces. Every table, sideboard, everywhere, just everywhere, a light source.
|by Anonymous||reply 14||July 26, 2020 2:15 PM|
I never noticed that R14. I'll have to start watching.
|by Anonymous||reply 15||July 26, 2020 2:20 PM|
I'm the overused vocal chords of the actors. Every word of every sentence is PROJECTED to an audience that doesn't exist in real life. People don't do this in real life.
|by Anonymous||reply 16||July 26, 2020 2:31 PM|
I'm the sassy black friend/neighbor/co-worker, inevitably played by Yvette Nicole Brown Simpson or whatever her name is. Since BLM, you're going to be seeing lots more of me. mmm-HMM!
|by Anonymous||reply 17||July 26, 2020 2:31 PM|
I’m the totally diverse cast. Even though most of America isn’t.
|by Anonymous||reply 18||July 26, 2020 2:43 PM|
We are the actually funny jokes. We don’t exist, but if by chance you actually hear one, it is likely stolen from a show you loved when you were a kid.
|by Anonymous||reply 19||July 26, 2020 2:48 PM|
I’m the genuinely funny but “problematic” episode that causes great offence amongst Buzzfeed and Bustle writers, who demand it be pulled and shame anyone who enjoyed it.
|by Anonymous||reply 20||July 26, 2020 2:58 PM|
I’m the pathetic excuse for a theme song: a 30-second generic butt rock stinger that sounds like it’s leading up to something and then suddenly stops.
|by Anonymous||reply 21||July 26, 2020 3:04 PM|
I'm the couch that sits in the middle of the living room in EVERY SINGLE SHOW.
|by Anonymous||reply 22||July 26, 2020 3:07 PM|
I’m the Miley Cyrus guest appearance that’s massively overhyped in the promos but which falls totally flat.
|by Anonymous||reply 23||July 26, 2020 3:12 PM|
We are the promos for regular episodes that emphasize (read: spoil) the raunchiest jokes that have nothing to do with the plot, such as it is.
|by Anonymous||reply 24||July 26, 2020 3:17 PM|
I'm the one millionth time something from I Love Lucy has been blatantly copied.
|by Anonymous||reply 25||July 26, 2020 3:18 PM|
I’m the Devil of TV Hell, Tony Danza, making a cameo appearance as someone’s father, who - surprise, surprise, surprise - happens to be named Tony.
|by Anonymous||reply 26||July 26, 2020 3:32 PM|
I'm the protagonist who exhibits really toxic behavior that nobody calls out, but the audience eats up because "I totally get it."
|by Anonymous||reply 27||July 26, 2020 3:51 PM|
I’m Jennifer Aniston, mortally insulted at being asked to play Abby Elliot’s mom.
|by Anonymous||reply 28||July 26, 2020 3:57 PM|
R25 I’m the bad Cuban accent Jack McBrayer trots out for said I Love Lucy “tribute” episode.
|by Anonymous||reply 29||July 26, 2020 4:00 PM|
In conjunction with R20, I'm PC. No sitcom will ever be super funny again because millennials and Gen Z are offended by EVERYTHING.
|by Anonymous||reply 30||July 26, 2020 4:13 PM|
I'm the absence of physical comedy. Because they're just too cool for that.
|by Anonymous||reply 31||July 26, 2020 4:18 PM|
I'm the streaming service with questionable financing on which you'll surely find a sitcom in 2020.
|by Anonymous||reply 32||July 26, 2020 4:21 PM|
I’m the spunky, precocious young girl lead who breaks the fourth wall once an episode by saying her catchphrase directly into the camera and crossing her arms determinedly.
|by Anonymous||reply 33||July 26, 2020 4:21 PM|
[quote]I'm the overused vocal chords of the actors.
[quote]I'm the upper middle-class home the principle characters live in.
|by Anonymous||reply 34||July 26, 2020 4:28 PM|
I’m guest star Maggie Wheeler, consciously avoiding any Janice shtick and coming across boring as hell as a result.
|by Anonymous||reply 35||July 26, 2020 4:57 PM|
I’m the boom-mic that periodically dips into view.
|by Anonymous||reply 36||July 26, 2020 5:06 PM|
R21, modern-day sitcoms don't have theme songs.
|by Anonymous||reply 37||July 26, 2020 5:12 PM|
I'm a child's bedroom. My dimensions are 25 feet by 25 feet.
|by Anonymous||reply 38||July 26, 2020 5:15 PM|
I’m the tedious dramatic episode created solely for Emmy consideration.
|by Anonymous||reply 39||July 26, 2020 5:56 PM|
I'm the middle-class family who live in a house that IRL only wealthy people would be able to afford.
|by Anonymous||reply 40||July 26, 2020 5:57 PM|
I'm the neighbors who just barge in without knocking.
|by Anonymous||reply 41||July 26, 2020 6:14 PM|
[quote] In conjunction with [R20], I'm PC. No sitcom will ever be super funny again because millennials and Gen Z are offended by EVERYTHING.
I’m Norman Lear. I helped set the state for this state of affairs 50 years ago. You’re welcome. Now go watch the enbies on the new [italic]One Day at a Time[/italic].
|by Anonymous||reply 42||July 26, 2020 6:28 PM|
I'm the shower which is currently occupied by the fat husband star's much better looking and buff younger brother. The sister-in-law will disrobe and me being used by her hot brother-in-law. Hilarity ensues.
|by Anonymous||reply 43||July 26, 2020 7:06 PM|
I’m the single glass of wine that somehow manages to get someone stupidly drunk.
|by Anonymous||reply 44||July 26, 2020 7:11 PM|
I'm the wine that gets poured but never consumed.
I also love the coffee that is poured but when closely observed the cup is completely empty. They did this on Friends a lot.
|by Anonymous||reply 45||July 26, 2020 7:25 PM|
I'm the "trans woman of color" episode which is overwrought and over the top dramatic; however, the show wins an Emmy just because of that one heartfelt episode which has captured the hearts of all Americans.
|by Anonymous||reply 46||July 26, 2020 7:26 PM|
I am the molestation-induced PTSD that will turn the boy playing the oldest son into a drunken, drug-addled train wreck before his 30th birthday. Don’t count on him getting another series after this one is over. Not even a cartoon.
|by Anonymous||reply 47||July 26, 2020 7:29 PM|
I'm the documentary /reality show style interviews. I was fresh and unique.... in 2004. Now I'm just as stale as the old school raucous laugh tracks.
|by Anonymous||reply 48||July 26, 2020 7:33 PM|
I'm the fat straight guy whose wife wouldn't touch him with a ten foot pile in real life unless he had a big fat dick. I have a shitty job and she doesn't work but we're somehow able to afford our current lifestyle.
|by Anonymous||reply 49||July 26, 2020 7:37 PM|
I'm the nauseatingly whimsical logo, animation clip, and vanity production company name at the very end of each episode.
|by Anonymous||reply 50||July 26, 2020 7:38 PM|
I'm Tanta Luisa and still don't speak English
|by Anonymous||reply 51||July 26, 2020 7:39 PM|
I’m the original pilot which actually featured some fresh and original talent. They had to scrap me after recasting each part with the same dull faces who populate every show cancelled after one season.
|by Anonymous||reply 52||July 26, 2020 7:55 PM|
I'm the overly annoying, overly used, shaky camera effect.
|by Anonymous||reply 53||July 26, 2020 8:13 PM|
I'm a painfully unfunny Chuck Lorre production that you've never seen, though I've been #1 in the ratings for years. Dumb people feel smart for watching me.
|by Anonymous||reply 54||July 26, 2020 8:14 PM|
If you haven't seen it how do you know its unfunny or dumb?
|by Anonymous||reply 55||July 26, 2020 8:25 PM|
I’m the hours and hours of bloopers, showing the cast laughing at their unfunny flubs and generally wasting everyone’s time, explaining the very choppy nature of the final edit.
|by Anonymous||reply 56||July 27, 2020 5:12 AM|
I'm Adam Pally coked out of my mind in everything I do.
|by Anonymous||reply 57||July 27, 2020 5:21 AM|
We're the mothers who never get called out for being bitches while their husbands get accused of bloody murder if they so much as belch too loudly.
|by Anonymous||reply 58||July 27, 2020 5:29 AM|
I’m the conspicuously placed objects that will ineffectively conceal a pregnant actress's baby bump.
|by Anonymous||reply 59||July 27, 2020 5:31 AM|
I'm the spoiled suburban mall rat daughter. My high pitched whining over not being allowed to see my boyfriend is supposed to be endearing. But it's really obnoxious and audiences wish my parents would slap me in the face.
|by Anonymous||reply 60||July 27, 2020 5:35 AM|
I'm all the furniture, which looks like it was bought at the same store on the same day.
|by Anonymous||reply 61||July 27, 2020 5:38 AM|
I'm the two heterosexual hipster leads. We are in a friends with benefits relationship and we can't seem to decide where it's going. Will we or won't we commit to each other? We are both so adorkable!
|by Anonymous||reply 62||July 27, 2020 5:44 AM|
I'm the weird sudden laughter that regularly appears mid-line in a heavily edited syndicated episode.
|by Anonymous||reply 63||July 27, 2020 5:45 AM|
I'm the camera going out of focus on purpose for no good reason on a one-camera mockumentary-style sitcom because copying bad technique is in these days. But at least there's no laugh track so that negates all our other flaws, right? Right?
|by Anonymous||reply 64||July 27, 2020 5:47 AM|
I’m “Promotional Consideration by Apple”. Enjoy iPhones dictating the plot of every single episode and appearing in every scene!
|by Anonymous||reply 65||July 27, 2020 5:49 AM|
I'm the unexpected and unwanted pregnancy of the female character, I will never in a million years be aborted. Especially on network TV.
|by Anonymous||reply 66||July 27, 2020 5:50 AM|
[quote] I’m “Promotional Consideration by Apple”. Enjoy iPhones dictating the plot of every single episode and appearing in every scene!
That's not much different from the early years of TV.
|by Anonymous||reply 67||July 27, 2020 6:02 AM|
I'm the young male actor who dresses like an eighty year old complete with bowtie. I'm wise beyond my years, and I make comments about the situation at hand and glance knowingly at the camera.
I'm the 'daddy's girl' teenage daughter who is stupid but pretty, I usually have an equally stupid but endearing boyfriend. In a very special episode the boyfriend was caught in the daughter's bedroom where he's been staying because his family kicked him out. He just wants to finish school, dammit!
I'm the mean ugly middle daughter. I'm a nasty cunt.
|by Anonymous||reply 68||July 27, 2020 6:06 AM|
We're the daughter's token black friends who appear in the background in party scenes.
|by Anonymous||reply 69||July 27, 2020 6:07 AM|
R67 True, but cigarettes, soap etc. didn’t have the ability to control plots the way cellphones and modern technology can. Also, the cast commercials actually demonstrating use of the product tended to be saved for the end of the broadcasts.
|by Anonymous||reply 70||July 27, 2020 7:31 AM|
I’m the slutty roommate who only talks about sex and must make every episode unnecessarily sexual.
|by Anonymous||reply 71||July 27, 2020 7:36 AM|
We’re the white blonde couple who looks like we just flew in from Sweden. All three of our kids are dark haired precious jewish brats. Um.. You’re not fooling anyone w that hollywood nepotism crap.
|by Anonymous||reply 72||July 27, 2020 7:46 AM|
I'm the supporting cast member who gets canceled for a racist tweet from years and years ago.
|by Anonymous||reply 73||July 27, 2020 7:48 AM|
I’m the revolving door of showrunners, who all get ousted for creating a “toxic work environment”.
|by Anonymous||reply 74||July 27, 2020 7:50 AM|
Translation: they were all lecherous creeps who couldn't keep their hands to themselves.
|by Anonymous||reply 75||July 27, 2020 7:52 AM|
I’m the replacement for the supporting cast member fired for racist tweets, and I’m a currently in-vogue minority. Critics worship me, fans despise me.
|by Anonymous||reply 76||July 27, 2020 7:54 AM|
I'm the Emmy R76 is going to get despite doing little to nothing to earn it and despite the show being barely worthy of People's Choice Awards.
|by Anonymous||reply 77||July 27, 2020 7:57 AM|
I’m the fart smell trapped within Debra Messing’s spanks.
|by Anonymous||reply 78||July 27, 2020 9:24 AM|
I'm David Spade. I'll show up towards the end of the first season to help the ratings, and end up staying for the remaining five seasons. No one knows who hired me or whom I appeal to, but just go with it.
|by Anonymous||reply 79||July 27, 2020 10:00 AM|
I play the annoying drop-in character with the recurring catchphrase that everyone will say to me on the street for the rest of time.
|by Anonymous||reply 80||July 27, 2020 11:07 AM|
I'm the youngest child of the main couple, I was once cute, nerdy and funny during the early seasons, but now 9 seasons in I've lost the ability to act and my cuteness has morphed into a massive nose and weird face shape. I've recently had my first on-screen girlfriend who would never notice me in real life.
|by Anonymous||reply 81||July 27, 2020 11:35 AM|
I'm the first "joke" that came to mind in the writers' room. I will make the final cut because no one here is trying and we all want to be home by 3 pm.
|by Anonymous||reply 82||July 27, 2020 11:41 AM|
I’m the flesh coloured underwear the guys put on for their “nude behind the newspaper” scenes.
|by Anonymous||reply 83||July 27, 2020 1:11 PM|
[quote]I'm the mean ugly middle daughter. I'm a nasty cunt.
So true, so true.
|by Anonymous||reply 84||July 27, 2020 10:37 PM|
I'm the actor who leaves the show as soon as he has a hit movie. Bye, losers!
|by Anonymous||reply 85||July 27, 2020 10:45 PM|
I’m Jon Fleming, playing the boring but hot shirtless extra...again.
|by Anonymous||reply 86||July 28, 2020 12:43 AM|
I’m the silly, annoying character who may or may not be developmentally disabled. Eventually I will have an emotionally-charged scene where I reveal that I'm wiser and more worldly than you thought...and I’m aware that people have been making fun of me.
|by Anonymous||reply 87||July 28, 2020 1:35 AM|
I’m the Chuck Cunningham equivalent who disappears without explanation and is never mentioned again.
|by Anonymous||reply 88||July 28, 2020 3:00 AM|
I’m the single camera, for some reason i’m more expensive than three.
|by Anonymous||reply 89||July 28, 2020 3:06 AM|
Going along with R88, I'm the circle of best friends who disappear with no explanation after a few seasons.
|by Anonymous||reply 90||July 28, 2020 3:21 AM|
I’m the 'parental discretion advised' warning that precedes a very special episode. You are going to have nightmares tonight.
|by Anonymous||reply 91||July 28, 2020 3:28 AM|
I’m the actors’ arms, which will be in different positions every time a camera angle changes.
|by Anonymous||reply 92||July 28, 2020 3:52 AM|
I'm the "ironic " bigotry, always from the mouth of a boorish character . Sometimes I am funny and sharp when I shine a light on societys' hypocrisy. Other times, I'm just an excuse to trash marginalized individuals and get away with it.
|by Anonymous||reply 93||July 28, 2020 5:01 AM|
[quote] I’m the 'parental discretion advised' warning that precedes a very special episode. You are going to have nightmares tonight.
Yeah, but mainly about the overacting and overly simplistic resolution of a complex real-world problem.
|by Anonymous||reply 94||July 28, 2020 5:02 AM|
I’m special guest star Betty White, here to show you talentless youngins’ how it’s done!
|by Anonymous||reply 95||July 28, 2020 5:22 AM|
I'm the other special guest star Valerie Bertinelli, here to show the young ingenue how she's going to look when she's my age.
|by Anonymous||reply 96||July 28, 2020 5:24 AM|
We are the parents of the central character; I'm the mother and I'm shrill and bitchy and I'm the father and I am henpecked and sweet. The promos would have you believe we are portrayed by acting legends but one of us starred in a 3 season sitcom from the 70s and the other was a failed Brando type. One of us will die off screen in the last season as the show runs out of material.
|by Anonymous||reply 97||July 28, 2020 7:18 PM|
I’m the blue-screen halo that appears around everyone’s hair during driving scenes.
|by Anonymous||reply 98||July 28, 2020 7:21 PM|
We’re things people actually do in real life. None of them are on this show.
|by Anonymous||reply 99||July 28, 2020 7:27 PM|
I'm the albino son who's also sarcastic and a programming prodigy. There is no dating drama because since episode 1 I've had a girlfriend. My girlfriends change every couple seasons and none are asian.
|by Anonymous||reply 100||July 28, 2020 8:13 PM|
I’m the bitchy, catty gay assistant to the lead female, played by Maulik Pancholy or someone indistinguishable from him.
|by Anonymous||reply 101||July 28, 2020 8:22 PM|
I'm one of the children of the straight couple that are invariably the parents on the show. If I'm a boy I'm so flaming you would swear I was a tranny, but I'm actually as straight as an arrow. There will be at least one episode that revolves around my parents assuming that I'm gay because of the way that I act and the fact that they're completely wrong.
People think gay men will be disappointed by this, but in reality we will all heave a collective sigh of relief until we get what we want, which is a hot, manly gay character who is neither a child nor a stereotype.
|by Anonymous||reply 102||July 28, 2020 8:23 PM|
and will resume waiting for what we really want*
|by Anonymous||reply 103||July 28, 2020 8:24 PM|
that's because he wouldn't remember his character's name, R26.
|by Anonymous||reply 104||July 28, 2020 8:34 PM|
I’m the mismatching wallpaper throughout the house, the dingy cabinets, loud but faded curtains and framed landscape paintings with inexplicably garish colors to signify “working class”
|by Anonymous||reply 105||July 28, 2020 9:15 PM|
I’m the inexplicable two step indoor stairway at the front door so when Popular Character comes in, there’s time for enthusiastic applause before I speak.
|by Anonymous||reply 106||July 28, 2020 9:17 PM|
I’m the food that constantly changes in quantity on plates during meal scenes.
|by Anonymous||reply 107||July 29, 2020 2:20 AM|
I’m Martin Mull, being my usual Mullish self, except now I’m older and make incontinence jokes.
|by Anonymous||reply 108||July 29, 2020 8:27 AM|
We are David Alan Grier, Vicki Lawrence, and Leslie Jordan doing the same and hoping to be the next [italic]Golden Girls[/italic] only to end up being the next [italic]Golden Palace[/italic].
|by Anonymous||reply 109||July 29, 2020 8:38 AM|
R109 How true. I never want to hear boobs and butts referred to as “milkers and dumper” ever again, let alone out of Vicki Lawrence’s mouth. Yech!
|by Anonymous||reply 110||July 29, 2020 8:42 AM|
I'm the flattened affect and monotone of the deadpan millennial hipster of the cast . I am set at zero in contrast to my zany costars who dial it up to 100. My eyes are perpetually glazed over at their antics .
|by Anonymous||reply 111||July 29, 2020 9:38 AM|
I’m the masking tape obscuring all the board game titles they didn’t get permission to use.
|by Anonymous||reply 112||July 29, 2020 9:44 AM|
I'm the child star. I'll either come out as queer later or become a drug addict or both.
|by Anonymous||reply 113||July 29, 2020 10:52 AM|
We're the audience who laughs in between every sentence that is spoken on the show.
|by Anonymous||reply 114||July 29, 2020 11:25 AM|
I'm the ex drug dealer/convicted felon with a hit TV sitcom adored by Deplorables. To me and my devoted fans, there is nothing funnier than a dirtball scumbag such as me taking pot shots at a certain ex-President (who just happens to be black) and making jokes about how stupid he was and how ineffective he was as a leader. Of course, I never direct my "humor" at the current occupant of the Oval Office because he has no faults, just like me.
Oh, I also use my show as a platform to rail against current liberal fallacies, like white male privilege,
|by Anonymous||reply 115||July 29, 2020 11:40 AM|
I'm the soda cans, bags of chips, and boxes of cereals with fake brand names.
|by Anonymous||reply 116||July 29, 2020 1:56 PM|
I'm the grandmother who verbally abuses my daughter, who allows me to live in her home with her anyway. When I make a bitchy remark about my daughter's appearance or intelligence, the audience laughs riotously.
|by Anonymous||reply 117||July 29, 2020 2:45 PM|
Ahem, didn’t OP say “modern” sitcom?
|by Anonymous||reply 118||July 29, 2020 4:20 PM|
I’m R113 getting canceled for using anti-GAY hate speech. Enjoy being the new Anita Bryant, bitch!
|by Anonymous||reply 119||July 29, 2020 4:24 PM|
I’m Emily Rutherford, here to reprise my nervous, uncomfortable looking woman act from every 2000s sitcom!
|by Anonymous||reply 120||July 29, 2020 6:19 PM|
Wait, that's a thing, R85?
|by Anonymous||reply 121||July 29, 2020 9:22 PM|
R121, it's always been a thing!
|by Anonymous||reply 122||July 29, 2020 9:27 PM|
Similar to r116, I’m “BEER”
|by Anonymous||reply 123||July 30, 2020 2:58 PM|
I’m every staircase designed so when the character comes down to the last step they’re facing the audience. I’m usually two steps, a turn, and then the rest of the stairs for some reason.
|by Anonymous||reply 124||July 30, 2020 2:59 PM|
I'm the stunt casting of some 70s/80s tv star guest-starring as one of the main characters' parent. The actual demographic who watches the show barely even knows who I am.
|by Anonymous||reply 125||July 30, 2020 4:41 PM|
I'm the episode with a famous guest star. For some reason, I am never ever remotely funny. Perhaps the writers think that audiences will be so awed by a big name that they won't pay attention to the bad jokes.
|by Anonymous||reply 126||July 31, 2020 12:39 AM|
I’m the premise about a single woman juggling her personal and professional life. I’m so fresh and original.
|by Anonymous||reply 127||August 1, 2020 3:22 PM|
We're a middle class family played by LA actors with gym-sculpted bodies, every cosmetic procedure known to science and $40,000 worth of teeth in our mouths.
I mean really, have you SEEN what middle class Americans really look like?
|by Anonymous||reply 128||August 1, 2020 3:42 PM|
I'm the spin-off about the main characters neighbor moving to the big city, I will be filled with recycled plots and jokes, the cast will have no chemistry and the only time the ratings got close to the main show was during the forced crossover. I only lasted 2 seasons and had no real finale. The character will rejoin the main show and the events of the spin off are never mentioned.
|by Anonymous||reply 129||August 1, 2020 4:42 PM|
Hell I noticed the other nite they used a very soft focus on Audrey Hepburn in “Paris When It Sizzles” (it’s available for free on Kanopy) and she had fired one cinematographer and brought another on that knew how to film her flatteringly. No soft focus on Bill Holden though. And nothin sizzlin either
|by Anonymous||reply 130||August 1, 2020 4:50 PM|
I’m the weird episode where an awful lot of camera time is being spent on some wacky characters that work with/are related to one of the shows regulars. In fact, the shows regulars are barely seen in this episode. Call me by my name: Back Door Pilot.
|by Anonymous||reply 131||August 1, 2020 6:43 PM|
Make it five generations and make it a lump sum cash payment.
|by Anonymous||reply 132||August 1, 2020 7:08 PM|
I'm the 35 year old actor playing the parent of the 25 year old "teen", we are definitely not hooking up in our trailers.
|by Anonymous||reply 133||August 1, 2020 7:50 PM|
I’m the guy who’s weight fluctuates drastically each season, making it hard to believe that next year’s premiere takes place immediately after last year’s finale.
|by Anonymous||reply 134||August 1, 2020 7:53 PM|
We are the ever-dwindling audience shares as discerning viewers continue to leave networks behind for newer, more innovative platforms.
|by Anonymous||reply 135||August 1, 2020 7:58 PM|
I'm Joyce DeWitt, and I just want to let everyone know that I'm available to star in this sitcom. Painfully available, in fact. Well, unless my co-star is a prima donna cunt. I'm looking at you, Suzanne!
|by Anonymous||reply 136||August 1, 2020 9:06 PM|
I'm that little girl who played the middle daughter in "Family Matters." I went upstairs at the end of an episode, and I never came back downstairs. I'm basically a black, female Chuck Cunningham.
|by Anonymous||reply 137||August 1, 2020 9:10 PM|
[quote]Let’s be a Modern Day Sitcom
I’m the lack of an intro theme song, which is depressing.
|by Anonymous||reply 138||August 1, 2020 9:13 PM|
[quote] I’m the guy who’s weight fluctuates
|by Anonymous||reply 139||August 2, 2020 11:04 AM|
WTF don’t some of you get about the words “modern day”?
|by Anonymous||reply 140||August 2, 2020 11:04 AM|
I’m the 2-minute chunks of show surrounded by 5 minutes of commercials.
|by Anonymous||reply 141||August 2, 2020 11:17 AM|
I'm the big deal we made about being woke and inclusive, by this we actually mean we are hiring a couple of African Americans as recurring cast members. Obviously we aren't going to hire Asians, Mexicans and certainly not any Native Americans.
|by Anonymous||reply 142||August 2, 2020 7:05 PM|
I’m the too-trendy references to some fad that’ll go out of style and really date these episodes in reruns.
|by Anonymous||reply 143||August 3, 2020 12:01 PM|
We are the reruns that will start off adequately on local stations but quickly decline and disappear. We will be totally gone everywhere but basic cable within the next five years before we go away for good. We will also get a first season DVD set, but no Blu-ray, that will sell disastrously since not only is the show not worth it, it is available on streaming in a higher resolution.
|by Anonymous||reply 144||August 3, 2020 10:27 PM|
And also nobody buys DVDs anymore.
|by Anonymous||reply 145||August 3, 2020 10:38 PM|
I'm the laff trax harvested from old Lucy shows.
|by Anonymous||reply 146||August 3, 2020 10:46 PM|
We are the jokes, also harvested from the old Lucy shows. But by now they are so desperate for ideas that they have had to resort to harvesting jokes from [italic]Life with Lucy[/italic].
|by Anonymous||reply 147||August 4, 2020 12:02 AM|
[quote] We will also get a first season DVD set, but no Blu-ray, that will sell disastrously since not only is the show not worth it,
Mainly because I’ll be inexplicably priced at $49.99.
|by Anonymous||reply 148||August 4, 2020 11:27 AM|
I'm the hashtag that appears on screen randomly.
|by Anonymous||reply 149||August 4, 2020 4:25 PM|
I am the woke YouTuber pointing out how problematic it is in an exhaustive video cataloging its social injustices.
|by Anonymous||reply 150||August 4, 2020 5:42 PM|
I’m the establishing shots of buildings that in no way match the interior set layouts.
|by Anonymous||reply 151||August 9, 2020 10:13 PM|
I'm the secret gay lover of the Male lead posing as his "assistant" so I can go everywhere with him and it doesn't look suspicious at all !!!!
|by Anonymous||reply 152||August 9, 2020 10:21 PM|
I'm the locked dressing room door, concealing the rampant sexual abuse of the precocious tween actor playing the son on the show!
|by Anonymous||reply 153||August 9, 2020 10:25 PM|
I’m the back 9, picked up in case the first 13 do well in the ratings. I’m seldom if ever ordered these days.
|by Anonymous||reply 154||August 10, 2020 4:04 PM|
I’m the episode(s) that’ll get pulled from syndication/streaming in a few years for featuring something eventually seen as insensitive.
|by Anonymous||reply 155||August 13, 2020 4:40 AM|
I'm the main star who was a 90's heart throb but now I'm slightly overweight and balding, I'm only doing this to pay off my third divorce.
|by Anonymous||reply 156||August 13, 2020 10:12 PM|
I'm the womanizing/slutty straight friend that just HAS to be featured in EVERY network sitcom.
|by Anonymous||reply 157||August 13, 2020 11:20 PM|
I'm the social media star that the network forced the show to hire to get the genZ audience.
|by Anonymous||reply 158||August 24, 2020 1:42 PM|
I'm the connoisseur of classic sitcoms who hasn't watched one in years, and when my friends mention one of the current ones I ask, "What's that?"
'Cause modern network TV SUCKS Trump balls!!!!
|by Anonymous||reply 159||August 24, 2020 1:53 PM|
I'm the attractive couple who would be perfect together. The writers employ a push-and-pull dynamic, keeping the audience asking, "Will they, or won't they?"
|by Anonymous||reply 160||August 24, 2020 1:57 PM|
We're the people whose voices you hear on the laugh tracks. We're all dead. (True story.)
|by Anonymous||reply 161||August 24, 2020 2:32 PM|
R161 As long isn't that woman you hear on every "Gilligan's Island" episode screeching, "Uh oh!" every time Gilligan did something stupid that was going to create a funny problem.
|by Anonymous||reply 162||August 24, 2020 2:47 PM|
I'm pop culture references. I'm mostly several decades out of date, but the teenage characters will still use me. I'm the product of a writing room that's well into its 50s.
|by Anonymous||reply 163||August 24, 2020 2:55 PM|
I'm the dumb character. I'll start out as reasonably functional but by the time the shows ends, I'll be retarded to the point of being unable to function in real life. I'm usually obsessed with sex but never knock anyone up or have an STD.
|by Anonymous||reply 164||August 24, 2020 2:57 PM|
I'm the husband's personality. Aside from being fat and ugly, I'm also boorish, intolerant and generally a pain in the ass. For some reason my saint of a wife, who's also younger and hotter, will put up with me. And it won't be for money, because I've also got a shit job.
|by Anonymous||reply 165||August 24, 2020 2:59 PM|
I'm the frumpy man who just wants to have a good time in life, watching sports and having sex. But my shrewish wife keeps ruining my fun times by nagging me to help with household chores, spend time with the kids, or do the right thing.
|by Anonymous||reply 166||August 24, 2020 3:34 PM|
|by Anonymous||reply 167||August 24, 2020 3:48 PM|
[quote] I'm the dumb character. I'll start out as reasonably functional but by the time the shows ends, I'll be retarded to the point of being unable to function in real life. I'm usually obsessed with sex but never knock anyone up or have an STD.
At leat they always draw the line somewhere.
|by Anonymous||reply 168||August 24, 2020 6:07 PM|
I’m Brad Garrett. I am always relegated to playing somebody’s annoying relative or friend.
|by Anonymous||reply 169||August 24, 2020 6:11 PM|
What day is a modern day for DL?! I am confused.
|by Anonymous||reply 170||August 24, 2020 6:14 PM|
Well, when we're talking about sitcoms, we kind of have to go back 20 years. The networks rarely make sitcoms today. Mom, The Conners, what else is there?
|by Anonymous||reply 171||August 24, 2020 6:16 PM|
2000 is not far back enough. Most of DL seems to be stuck between 1985 and 1992 and the rest seems stuck between 1970 and 1977.
|by Anonymous||reply 172||August 24, 2020 6:18 PM|
I'm the skintight tops that all the adult women in the cast must wear in every episode.
|by Anonymous||reply 173||August 24, 2020 6:19 PM|
I'm the gender non-conforming tween.
|by Anonymous||reply 174||August 24, 2020 6:30 PM|
That's nothing new, R174.
|by Anonymous||reply 175||August 24, 2020 6:36 PM|
[quote]I’m Brad Garrett. I am always relegated to playing somebody’s annoying relative or friend. —For some reason I never play the lead
You mean except for those four seasons on "Til Death"?
|by Anonymous||reply 176||August 24, 2020 6:46 PM|
[quote] Mom, The Conners, what else is there?
Man With A Plan
United We Fall
|by Anonymous||reply 177||August 24, 2020 6:55 PM|
The Good Place
The Big Bang Theory
Grace & Frankie
|by Anonymous||reply 178||August 24, 2020 7:08 PM|
[italic]Modern Family[/italic] has finally been canceled after running long enough to squander all the goodwill they had built up.
|by Anonymous||reply 179||August 24, 2020 7:09 PM|
True, but it's still a "modern day" sitcom.
|by Anonymous||reply 180||August 24, 2020 7:22 PM|
I’m the person who gets verbally abused by friends and/or family members. The audience finds it hilarious.
|by Anonymous||reply 181||August 24, 2020 7:24 PM|
I'm the beat-and-a-half pause for uproarious canned laughter after every single line.
I could suck the rhythm, life, and humor out of the most brilliant comic skit of all time.
|by Anonymous||reply 182||August 24, 2020 7:43 PM|
I'm the overly elaborate and creative insults as seen on Scrubs and Veep. At first I was a respite from the cheesy one liners of sitcoms of old but I've started to become just as exhausting and obnoxious.
|by Anonymous||reply 183||August 24, 2020 9:10 PM|
[quote] True, but it's still a "modern day" sitcom.
But it won't be modern for very long.
|by Anonymous||reply 184||August 25, 2020 2:21 AM|
I’m the imbecile who fucks everything up for everyone else every week and at the end of every episode everyone tells me they love me despite my phenomenally cretinous behavior that led us to ruination
|by Anonymous||reply 185||September 2, 2020 2:50 AM|
That's as old as sitcoms themselves, R185.
|by Anonymous||reply 186||September 2, 2020 2:54 AM|
That’s why I contributed it. Threes nothing new in sitcoms
|by Anonymous||reply 187||September 2, 2020 3:01 AM|
I’m Botox. I’m injected into every pore of the ageing female lead’s face, who was once the star of a much better show decades ago. I make her look plastic and hinder the comedic timing of every line she utters.
|by Anonymous||reply 188||September 6, 2020 3:51 PM|
I'm an original Vergara partyscape. Sadly, no sitcom has the balls to work me into an episode.
|by Anonymous||reply 189||September 6, 2020 4:12 PM|
I'm the now-adult child actor playing one of the family's children. I was cast because I was short for my age so could get away with playing a younger character, but now my character's 19 while I'm 26 and 5'3. My siblings are also below 5'5. The show has yet to address the obvious congenital disorder that caused this, given that my mother is 5'9 and my father is 6'2.
|by Anonymous||reply 190||September 6, 2020 4:16 PM|
R190, ya got a Very Special Episode right there. And it may actually be a fresh one! Hollywood, are you listening?
|by Anonymous||reply 191||September 6, 2020 4:19 PM|
r190 = Sara Hyland and son from The Middle
|by Anonymous||reply 192||September 7, 2020 2:48 AM|
I'm the same idea recycled over and over again for different ethnic versions of the same kind of family.
|by Anonymous||reply 193||September 7, 2020 10:51 AM|
R164 and R185 appear to be referring to Cartoon President.
|by Anonymous||reply 194||September 7, 2020 11:06 AM|
I’m the diverse “reimagining” of some beloved property from ages ago. Critics fawn over me and shame anyone who prefers the original, which is naturally “very problematic”. Everything good about the original is thrown out to make room for guilt, lecturing and soap boxes.
|by Anonymous||reply 195||September 7, 2020 3:53 PM|
And the "reimagining" bombs in the ratings.
|by Anonymous||reply 196||September 7, 2020 3:56 PM|
[quote]Everything good about the original is thrown out to make room for guilt, lecturing and soap boxes.
That's why they rebooted [italic]One Day at a Time[/italic]: all that stuff was built into it already.
|by Anonymous||reply 197||September 8, 2020 5:03 AM|
R197 Yeah, Norman Lear remakes don’t have to add any preachiness, just incorporate more minorities.
Trans Maude is probably right around the corner.
|by Anonymous||reply 198||September 8, 2020 10:46 AM|
God'll get you for that, R198.
|by Anonymous||reply 199||September 16, 2020 2:20 AM|
I'm the 2 minutes of actual programming shoved and interrupted regularly between as many annoying ads, sometimes cutting one another off, as can be compressed in between episode scenes.
|by Anonymous||reply 200||September 16, 2020 4:10 AM|
I'm the grandmother played by either Jane Curtin, Marion Ross or Cloris Leachman. I'm the only one who doesn't flub lines and the main reason people tune in. I was originally slated for two episodes, but ratings were so good that I'm now a main cast member.
|by Anonymous||reply 201||September 16, 2020 4:26 AM|