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I’m 57 & Suddenly Find Myself Attracted to College Guys My Son’s Age

I am a 57-year-old guy, a widower for the past four years. I am successful and still considered good looking for my age. I have had no problem finding attractive women to date and bed. I have no intention of getting remarried at present, mostly because I adore my three kids and do not want to change our lives with a stepmother just as they are setting up to fledge their wings and take off. My time with my kids is very precious to me. This has led to the occasional acrimonious breakup with the women I date, but I have always been upfront with them about my intention to keep it casual at present.

A few months after my beloved wife died, I discovered online porn, and that was my only sexual outlet for about two years till my kids felt comfortable at the thought of me dating again. The problem is that I got addicted to porn during that period, and my tastes gradually evolved in a very specific direction—namely gay porn between older masculine hairy guys and younger smooth men (twinks). I honestly don’t know who I identify with more, the daddy or the twink, when I look at these videos, and in my more analytical moments I think it is linked to my teenage years in an all-male boarding school when I was quite sexually active with other similarly aged boys. I never felt any same-sex desire once I left school and had access to women. These days, however, it’s about all I fantasize about, though I have managed to kick the porn habit.

I don’t know what to do about this. I find myself attracted to young, skinny, smooth (college-age) guys, and this bothers me quite a lot. My son often brings home his college buddies, and I am afraid to hang out with them in case I develop fantasies about any of them. It doesn’t help that at least a couple of his gay friends have given me every indication that they are attracted to me. At my darkest, I am deathly afraid that my tastes might evolve even further and suddenly I might find myself attracted to teenage guys and I might turn into one of those perverts. And as you can imagine, this makes it even harder to form committed relationships with the women I date. I have considered marriage just to help deal with this, but I am honest enough to know it won’t solve the problem since it does not arise from a lack of sex. Sex with women remains satisfactory but less compelling. A therapist should probably be my next option, but I want to have a sense of what to aim for before I see one.

What do you advise?

by Anonymousreply 42June 30, 2020 6:51 PM

Fuck em all!

by Anonymousreply 1June 30, 2020 1:42 AM

Fuck your son and record it and post it here.

by Anonymousreply 2June 30, 2020 1:44 AM

Rent boys. Hotel, no real names, cash. Just scratch the itch, don't get caught.

by Anonymousreply 3June 30, 2020 1:44 AM

[quote] a widower for the past four years

[quote] A few months after my beloved wife died, I discovered online porn

You didn't discover online porn until four years ago? LIES!

by Anonymousreply 4June 30, 2020 1:45 AM

What a NIFTY predicament

by Anonymousreply 5June 30, 2020 1:55 AM

OP, I'm glad you posted. Now it can be revealed that I am fucking your son, as are R 1-5. He has a great ass and can't get enough.

by Anonymousreply 6June 30, 2020 2:03 AM

Lean into it, OP. If you’re not a fit daddy, work on it. You’ll be swimming in tight smooth College guys.

by Anonymousreply 7June 30, 2020 2:03 AM

Inevitable reply: 2/10.

Just find a 24 year old who looks 18 into daddies.

by Anonymousreply 8June 30, 2020 2:05 AM

Post this on a bisexual board for some more relevant advice and see a therapist.

by Anonymousreply 9June 30, 2020 2:08 AM

There is nothing wrong with being attracted to younger guys. In fact, it's perfectly natural, you just have to make sure they are of legal age, if you want to go further.

by Anonymousreply 10June 30, 2020 2:15 AM

[quote] What do you advise?

Sorry I was not here on time but the answer to your question is: Kill Yourself.

by Anonymousreply 11June 30, 2020 2:18 AM

[quote]I’m 57 & Suddenly Find Myself Attracted to College Guys My Son’s Age

A tale as old as time

by Anonymousreply 12June 30, 2020 3:43 AM

There's nothing wrong with being attracted to younger legal guys. I can see how it would be awkward to be dating someone close in age to your son, especially if you have other younger children, but you don't seem to be looking for anything serious. So try it out with someone who isn't your son's friend and see if you're really into it or if it's just a porn fantasy. Find a young-looking recent college grad. Or as R3 suggested, a rent boy is probably your safest option. Lets you know if you really like that with no risk of exposure or emotional commitment.

by Anonymousreply 13June 30, 2020 4:41 AM

Yeah, check ID at the door. Think wit yo head...not yo dick head.

by Anonymousreply 14June 30, 2020 4:45 AM

On another thread op was part of a twenty something couple. EST

My Partner Has Been Going PNP Parties Behind My Back My partner has admitted going to sex and drugs parties while I was at work. I had no idea.

We’re two gay men in our 20s and we were together two years. I knew he did drugs but with my help he managed to quit – or so I thought. We split up because we started to row every day.

I had managed to get back on track on my own when he called me and said he’d been fired from his job and needed a flatmate to help pay his bills.

Like a fool I agreed to move back in.

He’s now admitted he was sleeping around and taking drugs throughout our relationship.

I’m angry that I let him back into my life but feel guilty as well.

I know he’s been through some difficult stuff.

He’s in a dark place and I’m thinking, “Perhaps I’m to blame?”

by Anonymousreply 15June 30, 2020 5:08 AM

You're 57, that ship sailed decades ago.

by Anonymousreply 16June 30, 2020 5:39 AM

r8, that was my first thought. I gave it a 3/10, because I thought it was the nephew troll becoming more creative.

by Anonymousreply 17June 30, 2020 6:24 AM

Fail

by Anonymousreply 18June 30, 2020 6:42 AM

No one bothered to Google and find the link that OP neglected to post? It's from Slate.com.

Offsite Link
by Anonymousreply 19June 30, 2020 6:54 AM

Had a wife and now goes for college aged guys.

by Anonymousreply 20June 30, 2020 6:58 AM

What an Extraordinarily Special Time in your life.

by Anonymousreply 21June 30, 2020 7:01 AM

Once again, the senile old DL tradition of addressing the OP as if this is his own story rather than a dull copy-paste job.

by Anonymousreply 22June 30, 2020 7:05 AM

We DLers know someone named Joel who might help you out.

by Anonymousreply 23June 30, 2020 7:09 AM

What a drama queen. Middle aged men attracted to 20somethings is literally every middle aged men. Get over it and just fuck whatever college twink you want who gives a shit?

by Anonymousreply 24June 30, 2020 8:52 AM

He's not even middle-aged anymore (roughly, 38-55). He's.... elderly!

by Anonymousreply 25June 30, 2020 9:52 AM

[quote]I don’t know what to do about this.

Fuck a nephew.

by Anonymousreply 26June 30, 2020 9:54 AM

CUT N PASTE from SLATE. SLATE! very lame.

CUT N PASTE from SLATE. SLATE! very lame.

CUT N PASTE from SLATE. SLATE! very lame. CUT N PASTE from SLATE. SLATE! very lame.

CUT N PASTE from SLATE. SLATE! very lame.

CUT N PASTE from SLATE. SLATE! very lame.

CUT N PASTE from SLATE. SLATE! very lame.

Offsite Link
by Anonymousreply 27June 30, 2020 10:12 AM

CUT N PASTE from SLATE. SLATE! very lame.

CUT N PASTE from SLATE. SLATE! very lame.

CUT N PASTE from SLATE. SLATE! very lame. CUT N PASTE from SLATE. SLATE! very lame.

CUT N PASTE from SLATE. SLATE! very lame.

CUT N PASTE from SLATE. SLATE! very lame.

CUT N PASTE from SLATE. SLATE! very lame.

Offsite Link
by Anonymousreply 28June 30, 2020 10:13 AM

lazy dumb lame lazy dumb lame fetid and shitty shitty dumb lazy dumb lame lazy dumb lame fetid and shitty shitty dumb lazy dumb lame lazy dumb lame fetid and shitty shitty dumb lazy dumb lame lazy dumb lame fetid and shitty shitty dumb lazy dumb lame lazy dumb lame fetid and shitty shitty dumb lazy dumb lame lazy dumb lame fetid and shitty shitty dumb lazy dumb lame lazy dumb lame fetid and shitty shitty dumb lazy dumb lame lazy dumb lame fetid and shitty shitty dumb lazy dumb lame lazy dumb lame fetid and shitty shitty dumb lazy dumb lame lazy dumb lame fetid and shitty shitty dumb

by Anonymousreply 29June 30, 2020 10:13 AM

2/10

by Anonymousreply 30June 30, 2020 10:16 AM

My favorite porn is amateur 50 something fit daddy with young 20ish college boy. Make some, OP.

by Anonymousreply 31June 30, 2020 11:40 AM

I like watching porn with guys in their 20s, but want nothing to do with them IRL.

by Anonymousreply 32June 30, 2020 11:52 AM

anyone else?

by Anonymousreply 33June 30, 2020 3:17 PM

The fact that it's a link from Slate isn't bad in and of itself.

But OP is not prefacing the post to say "As seen on Slate" so OP is, thus, a pile of shit.

by Anonymousreply 34June 30, 2020 3:25 PM

Which boarding school OP?

by Anonymousreply 35June 30, 2020 3:33 PM

When I was in college I used to regularly hook up with guys in their 50s.

Daddy dick was so hot to me, then AND now.

by Anonymousreply 36June 30, 2020 3:35 PM

“Suddenly find myself attracted college age guys my son’s age.”

Suddenly?

Sure, Jan.

by Anonymousreply 37June 30, 2020 3:36 PM

Here's a Slate letter to the same column - the title sounds like it could have been written by a DL'er

Offsite Link
by Anonymousreply 38June 30, 2020 3:40 PM

" I find myself attracted to young, skinny, smooth (college-age) guys, and this bothers me quite a lot."

OP finds himself attracted to copying stories about someone else's attraction to young, skinny, smooth (college-age) guys, and his lying bothers us quite a lot.

Fixed it for you, OP. Now go fuck yourself.

by Anonymousreply 39June 30, 2020 3:41 PM

Go to some Third World country and let your fantasies run amok and then run back where you belong!

by Anonymousreply 40June 30, 2020 6:42 PM

This reads like a homophobic frau testing the gays for confirmation that gay men are pedophiles and have no problem betraying female lovers.

If you're for real, OP, all you have to do is get over your shame of loving twinks. Society is ageist and it imposes notions of "age appropriateness" and "heterosexuality" that nature could give a shit less about.

Many gay twinks want a "daddy" type, especially if you have money. Follow your passion if nobody's getting hurt.

I encourage you to date a couple of twinks. Maybe you'll find out you don't relate to them, your craving is satisfied and you go back to older women. Maybe you find the love of your life.

But your hangups are misguided, like society half the time.

by Anonymousreply 41June 30, 2020 6:49 PM

R41 What part of "this was copied from an advice column on Slate.com" didn't you understand from the previous posts?

by Anonymousreply 42June 30, 2020 6:51 PM
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