Resumé Judgements

If I see a man spells "judgment" with that extra "e," I automatically don't hire him.

[quote] Judgement is the accepted spelling in British English. Webster first recorded the misspelling of judgment in his 1828 American Dictionary of our English Language, and Americans have been misspelling most of our true English words since then

If their name is Watermelondrea, forget it!

Volunteering to build houses in Africa = Fundie

If they put a church affiliation, it goes in the trash.

If someone has a hotmail, yahoo, or AOL email account, I know they're Olds, and not tech-savvy enough to tolerate more advanced computer work, and probably wouldn't stay around long enough to justify the hiring/training expense.

If after the interview, they tell me to have a blessed day, its all over.

R7 oh that’s a good one. As soon as they say that I know they’re Republican, Christian and probably homophobic and racist.

Preferred pronouns on a resume = drama waiting to happen

R9 that’s fine! I sue every company I send a resume to that does or doesn’t hire me. That’s how I make a living!

R9 My pronouns are "fuck," "off" and "die."

r11, those aren't pronouns, Dear.

R6 what email server do you recommend, to impress or assuage recruiters? I’m looking into replacing mine on my resume on the advice of someone else, and now I see the same tip mentioned here I realise it’s serious.

I’ve heard good things about Hush, Tutanota, Proton & . Apparently a lot of younger people just use iCloud mail now but that strikes me as vulnerable.

No fraternities. No sororities. Never.

Protonmail has been great for me, R13. Give our present circumstances, I love that the company is headquartered in Switzerland.

Red flags:

errors = lazy or stupid

missing dates = hiding information/why?

personal information (kids, hobbies, married) = too personal/should know better

more than two pages = too much/should know better

Since my HR Director doesn't post on DL, this is who will not hire:

1) Anyone without a college degree

2) Anyone from a religious/bible college

3) Anyone with a weird name that isn't a family name

4) Anyone who badmouths a previous employer

5) Anyone who doesn't wear a jacket and a tie to an interview

Good chance you will get a second interview/get hired:

1) Graduated from one of my personally approved colleges

2) Attractive

3) Well connected

Can we all agree that we hope R16 gets fired and dies from pancreatic cancer?

Shame on you, OP!

[quote]5) Anyone who doesn't wear a jacket and a tie to an interview

So only men and butch lesbians then?

R16 = why there are so many fucking idiots in jobs they aren’t qualified for.

R16, how would you know it's a family name?

R16 = How the Madison Cawthorns of the world fail upwards

I bet R16 is a loser nerd girl from high school with power now, but wants to be in the cool club still or some stuck-up Ivy Fag Bottom who loves his Hags.

What about Eagle Scout?

[quote]Resumé Judgements

Misspelling "résumé."

Nobody wears a jacket and tie anymore.

[quote]Misspelling "résumé."

"Resumé" and "resume" are both acceptable in American English.

There are a lot of boundries being stated on this thread. Continue bitches..

Oberlin College. An instant delete, because the person will be guaranteed to be an obnoxious pain in the ass.

R16 here, and you guys are just mean. Wishing that I get the worst kind of cancer ever, is just mean, mean, mean. I'm not going to lie, I like a certain type in my office and I also like zero drama and it has proven to be very successful for me and my department. We have zero HR issues and I've been told that I have some of the best reviews of any department head in the company.

The truth is, everyone has hiring biases. Since this anonymous, I didn't mind sharing mine. I know what I'm looking for and I know what works.

[quote]So only men and butch lesbians then?

Anyone who shows up to an interview with me without at least a tie & blazer will not get a second interview. I've never gotten any butch lesbians.

[quote]how would you know it's a family name?

You know a family name when you hear it.

Anyone with a "la" or "sha" in the first part of their name.

"Ethnic" names.

R16 R28 Are you male or female? Age? Gay or straight?

You type Frau.

R4 - depends on their age. Under 30 it was likely billed as a great thing to have on the college or grad school resume and involved 2 hours of orphans and 22 hours of beach and partying. Though usually in Central America rather than Africa, now that I think of it

R30 Hi, Viv!

Viv is my sister-in-law... she’s an Old Maid, just for your information. Her brother, my husband Frank, once was interviewing new secretaries and he had a resumé for Ms. Sharqueisha Laticía Jackson-Brown and I spotted it in his office and said “absolutely not!”

I know the name of a no-good street hustling animal looking to stir trouble when I see it.

What if I change my name?

I read some of r9 and I just have to ask, how does one pronounce "Mx"?

[quote] After applying to a few without my pronouns listed, I had a Skype video interview with someone who misgenered me based on my appearance (not suprisingly, my appearance doesn't "match" my pronouns right now). After that I decided it was best to be up front, so I started putting my pronouns on my resume. In terms of formatting, in the top left of my resume is my name, (largeish font) with my address in normal-sized font underneath. Then across from that in the top right, I have my pronouns listed, then my email, then my phone number in separate lines.

If you're that messed up you shouldn't be applying for a job, you should be applying for Disability/SSI!

I assume Mx is pronounced 'Mix'?

R16 -R28

Your methods do sound a little dated. I don’t wish you harm, but being in HR just cancels you in so many ways.

Didn’t you want to do something with your life at one time?

Automatically toss out any resume that hints that the applicant is a potential troublemaker (litigious) like memberships in groups such as ACLU, feminists groups, etc or any other "activism."

Nix on the Federalist Society.

R28, like Giancana?

[quote][R16] [R28] Are you male or female? Age? Gay or straight?

Male, 40s, Gay

[quote]You type Frau.

That insult is worse than wishing me deadly cancer. Now take that back.

[quote]Didn’t you want to do something with your life at one time?

I'm not in HR. In my company, HR doesn't do the hiring. Department Heads do.

[quote]—Marvin White, née Weis

So you were born female?

Oh, dear.

You didn’t need to capitalize department heads. It makes you look stupid.

If the person is a straight or gay male, they will probably hire the candidate who they are most physically attracted to - as long as that person isn’t perceived as a professional threat.

Straight men usually hire women they think they can sleep with—or the man they can relate to most personally (kids, church, sports fan, etc.)

Gay men probably won’t hire another gay man unless they think the gay man is a possible life or sex partner as well. Another nellie will get the trap door, since another sassy office queen would just steal their limelight and be drama.

Women usually won’t hire another woman if she’s more attractive or “overly confident”. Women are probably the most biased and harshest critics of other women, imo.

I’m always shocked ny how much personal bias affects hiring choices. A lot of companies miss out on good candidates because of petty reasons and unfair assumptions. Hearing hiring managers talk about candidates, you’d think it was a Love Connection date instead of an interview.

Oh course these things I’ve mentioned above are not always true, but definitely trends I have noticed over the years. The fact that it’s not your behavior or consistent with every personal experience you’ve had doesn’t make it untrue, either.

[quote] It makes you look stupid.

That was hurtful and mean. Now apologize.

R45, this is the norm. It used to be that it mattered what men's club you belonged to now it matters which gym. I know a lot of companies that will only hire men and women who are extremely athletic. They want driven, disciplined, competitive people. Your resume will be trashed if you do any sort of charity work. Similarly, companies will ask about your reading habits. If you read for pleasure, you will not be hired. The company culture is that reading for pleasure is a waste of time. Same goes for theater, ballet, and opera. The companies do not want well rounded people. They want people who are always striving for the next million dollars.

R47 That thinking is what, with Social Media, has led to programmed robots who’s Instagram and Facebook have no separation between work and personal. They’re always selling something or quoting Tony Robbins. Slaves to the corporations but they think they’re pioneering businesspeople.

Mentioning that you run marathons makes me think you're a bore.

All those resume-speak words, like "leveraged", "incentivized", "performant" make me want to throw up.

Luckily I got in the door of my career job by sidesteppinmg HR and getting hired directly by those who required my exact skills. This was in the mid 90's before HR depts. wielded such screening powers.

R16's real hiring criteria:

Willingness to dust the cobweb off her hole, during company time of course.

R16's approved candidates.

R14 must be a yankee.

Wrong R52. Those slags would never get a second interview.

Yeah that’s right R52 ! R16 is the only screeching, drama queen Fag around these parts!

R16 is of course posting to Datalounge during work hours.

R23- They're typically losers that have been molested.

how does someone get misgendered in an interview? or incorrect pronouns? the interviewer is talking to you not about you.

r31 said to r16 r28: "You type Frau."

R42 responded: "That insult is worse than wishing me deadly cancer. Now take that back."

Poor r42 r28 r16. Perceived as a frau, merely a cunt.

Any hint of a connection to the Mormon church gets a hard no out of me.

For me, there are 3 items that make me throw the resume out:

1) Attending any fundy Christian (not Catholic) college or having any reference to religion on their resume. I don't do the same for religious high schools because they usually had no choice.

2) Chinese or Indian national (not born in US, but came here for school or H1B1 visa). Sorry - I'm not taking good jobs away from young Americans to give to someone with a degree that I can't qualify and for someone who is just using the job as a step up to another better job either somewhere else or in their country. I've seen it happen way too many times.

3) Listing themselves as CEO or President of some side-hustle job they did in their early 20's or when they were doing contract work. No, you were just self-employed.

I also don't like to see frat or sorority mentions because I hate that some people would give preference in hiring based on their college drinking associations. But I don't throw them out.

[quote] It used to be that it mattered what men's club you belonged to now it matters which gym.

I am heartened to see the progress we have made.

The following schools are banned (the superreligious ones like Liberty or BYU don't even get glanced at):

Left/freak/insane: Evergreen State, Oberlin, Reed (any school in Oregon), UC Santa Cruz (tread lightly at Berkeley but they are a great school), Bard, Bennington, Grinnell, and Brown needs scrutiny

Right/Nazi/asshole: Dartmouth, Claremont, Hillsdale, Hampden-Sydney, any military academy, Texas A&M, any school in Alabama, any school where the football coach is the highest paid employee

[quoting] My pronouns are "fuck," "off" and "die."

[quote] those aren't pronouns, Dear.

How dare you deny this person's gender fluidity. You are clearly just asserting your racist supremacy. Racist!!! Cis-ist!!!

[quote]How dare you deny this person's gender fluidity.

That's [italic]grammar[/italic] fluidity, yutz.

Claremont-McKenna, R63 or the Claremont colleges in general (Pomona, Mudd et al)??

Either way, they are not particularly conservative and Pomona, if anything, is closer to an East Coast liberal arts school like Amherst or Williams.

Many gay men work in HR -- I'm thinking that's because it's traditionally seen as a field for women?

HR are usually sociopaths who were losers in high school and now abuse power as revenge.

[quote]Perceived as a frau, merely a cunt.

That is so unfair.

What would be the perfect resumé?

List it all: length, Job experience, school, awards etc.

I need to fill in a year of unemployment what is a good bullshit position to put in there?

Also, do we think the Coronavirus helps to explain firings etc.? Like I didn’t actually get fired, fired it was just Coronavirus.

I've been fortunate to work at startups or boutique firms my whole career.

My one encounter with big company HR was when two managers tried to recruit me a few years back--I had gone to B-school with one of them so she knew me well. We went out to lunch and discussed the job and what it would entail, etc.

When I met with HR as next steps, the HR woman was furious that they had talked to me without going through her first and I was like, well that would be their issue, not mine, but she could not get past it. It was one of the most bizarre meetings I've ever had and backs up R68's point.

I thanked her for her time and both the people I'd had lunch with moved on to better jobs within the year.

R72 - well there are rules and actual laws for fair employment practices. I'm surprised you don't know this. And those two managers did overreach and were in the wrong.

Would you discriminate against those who attended HBCUs?

No. Not against, R74.

R74 - No, I would not. Those schools exist because blacks were not permitted at many colleges and universities.

I understand the need for them today.

R16 here,

Howard and Morehouse get automatic 2nd interviews from me. Spelman does too, when I get female candidates.

In an ideal situation HR plays matchmaker by putting someone who fits in with the office department's established dynamic assisting the office to stay efficient. You can have all the best credentials, but when you come off like some beastly diva, like Lea Michele, during your interview you may not be a right fit.

I once dismissed an applicant because all she did was list all the important people she knows. That is a clear sign of trouble, because someone like that will not respect her supervisor's authority and instead will make a big deal of solving disputes by relying on her so-called important connections.

[quote]Women usually won’t hire another woman if she’s more attractive or “overly confident”. Women are probably the most biased and harshest critics of other women, imo.

BULL.SHIT. Can we retire this worn-out old trope?

I filled out an application this morning on a company website. I left the preferred pronouns section blank. And then had to choose ethnicity, a white man, which is currently not in style. Probably both will be direct flights to the circular file.

HBCUs are equivalent to Ivys and top-tier liberal arts schools. Always give a second look 👍🏼 And jump them over Chad state-school types wherever possible.

R73 = HR manager who is constantly having hissy fits because senior management has decided HR is useless and is constantly doing their own recruiting and basically treats them as clerical staff.

HR people should focus on non-career related achievements and interests. People with a wide range of interests and skills tend to be good and interesting people and make good workers/colleagues. The main trait of people with psychopathic tendencies is that they have no real interests or hobbies.

On the flip side, too many hobbies/interests can translate into too many reasons for not being available for work/insufferable workplace conversations

Any hint of Scientology is an immediate no go.

Fat women will always hire women even fatter than they are. So that they are not the fattest woman in the office, obviously.

I'm an elderfrau. I have no problem hiring young attractive women because I know when we go to Happy Hour we will get free drinks. Priorities.

R87 Elder Frau *Dyke who preys on young straight girls.

r81- Affirmative action works both ways...and HBCU's are NOT equivalent to ivy's. AT ALL.

[quote] any school where the football coach is the highest paid employee

Isn’t that most state colleges located in major cities?

I had a customer once. Attractive female superintendent over a large county school system. She worked it alright, but the real female eye candy was always the office girls. I said something to her one day and she replied that (having all the hot young women) just makes everything go easy, You know?

Well, yeah I do. But I was actually struck by her tactics now. It was in the south and she probably had to deal with a lot of men all day. A lot of distracted men. Not bad.

She did have a nice shot of her blonde Adonis son in a speedo in her office. Looked to be in swimming. I’m sure she caught me checking it out, lol.

You can’t go by surface cues if you want a good employee. If you discriminate based on sex or race, you are throwing the baby out with the bathwater.

The truth is that you just never know until you sit and talk with someone. Even then, it’s a crapshoot.

But some of the best employees don’t look that great on paper.

R92 - I somewhat agree. But I tend to shy away from people who interview extremely well and always have answers for everything.

Candidates who are unsure about some things and hesitate to make declarative statements without more information are almost always the better employees.

However, there are many, many people in the hiring process who make decisions based on personality and sparkle. That drives me nuts. People are supposed to be a little uncomfortable and unsure. I look at their skills and how they respond to questions.

The interviewees with too much sparkle and shine are almost always trouble later on.

So what are the definitive requirements on a resume these days?

I was a junior member of a search committee where a senior Jewish member did "extra investigating " to determine if a Muslim candidate was an extremist. Granted it was a few years after 9/11 and we were located in lower Manhattan but to this day I occasionally remember it and feel guilty I didn't have that member of the committee removed. I would have had to report her and was afraid for my own job there.

In my experience in the past few years, the people with the most sparking personalities, who had the perfect answers for everything, were the worst hires. After they were hired, they pretty much balked at doing any work. One of them had a history of doing this, even though he had managed to get some people to be references for him. After his employers started hinting that they wanted him to do more work, he would start using employment legal terms, insinuating that he could sue. Companies were basically stuck with him until he pulled the scam on another company and accepted a job offer.

Socially awkward people were usually hired when the applicant pool was shallow, and a lot of the time, they turned out to be solid, reliable workhorses.

[quote]The interviewees with too much sparkle and shine are almost always trouble later on.

I resent that!

Well, I’m young and a blank canvas but I’m also reserved and socially-awkward, nice and not a sociopathic, out-of-shape, homely and the only things I routinely enjoy doing are solitary sedentary things like reading and walking or occasionally volunteering. That’s me out of work forever, then?

R96 - totally agree. The ones with sparkle and shine always seem to be shifty - they go around people, push their work onto others or "can you help me with this (my responsibility)?" and kiss up to people to make alliances and get out of shit.

To me, it shows the personality of someone who knows how to successfully use their charm to play people. I don't want to work with or manage those types.

But I have one exception for this - I find that a lot of black applicants have to be "on" and have to make white people feel comfortable. The 'sparkle' and niceness is not a deception, it's learned survival.

How about the asshole straight guys who hire hot chicks they want to fuck? I've seen this many times. Some douchebag in his 40s and his staff are young, attractive women. It's pathetic.

Yeah, R100. Or the gay guys that have to personally approve of your college when its just going to be another hot guy he hires.

Gay guys in hiring positions tend to be careful about that r101.

[quote] So what are the definitive requirements on a resume these days?

R94, I'd say:

0. Not too long. Should be 1.5 pages at most. My opinion. Be concise.

1. No typos, no spelling errors (I have been guilty of that). Have someone (English major) proof-read your resume, not just spell-check.

2. Format of the document--should look professional. Get help, if you need it. Make it organized & easy to read. No crazy fonts. Stick with Times Roman.

3. No hobbies, clubs, blah blah blah. Esp. nothing that reveals your politics or religion.

4. Don't know if people still do a cover letter / email, but IMO, there shouldn't be anything important on that cover letter. The important stuff should all be in your resume. Cover letter (or email) should say: I'm interested in the position; my resume is attached; look forward to hearing from you. Done.

R98 I sincerely hope you paid more attention to detail on your resume than you did on your post.

He probably did r104, as a message board where people type quickly to put down their random thoughts is quite different from writing a resume. When I go to Burger King, I don't dress up like I'm going to The Ivy.

When I was a hiring manager many years ago, the rule was that any résumé from someone whose last name ended with a vowel went straight into the trash.

As time went on, that was no longer enough to weed out the undesirables, so we trained the girls in Personnel to call potential candidates and screen out anyone who sounded like they weren’t from the right background.

What about a silent "e", R106?

A lot of people are told they are overqualified, but what that really means is they based on their experience and education, they probably wouldn’t tolerate management or a shitty work environment. They want people who are compliant. A lot of companies look for folks who are “damaged goods” (work history, issues with the law, etc) because they know they can pay them less, they will put up with a lot because they have fewer options.

I worked for a big company that prided itself on a hiring/interview process that was the corporate version of The Hunger Games. They thought it was the best process for finding ideal candidates for positions. Internally they even gave seminars on how to prepare/navigate the interview process successfully. It was seen as some badge of honor to so when you got hired.

In my opinion it became more about the means than the end, because I saw how many good candidates were discounted over trivialities, while shitty ones who just learned how to navigate the process made it through.

I think it’s good to have a rigorous hiring process, but not when it takes on a life of its own and stops being an effective hiring tool. This is especially true when it pushes good employees to other companies for more accessible opportunities.

The red flags for me are

Experience does not match the job

Too much time from last job

Misspelled words

Attorneys applying for jobs that are administration

Too old without modern skills

I graduated in 1983 from a state school in Florida. I applied for a credit training program at a Wall Street Bank without ever realizing I was out of my league. I sent 40 resumes and only 1 came back with an interview. The SVP who interviewed me was gay from Switzerland. He was in his early 40s and I was 22 years old. Each SVP was given one or two picks. Since he did not socialize in the same circles as the other straight men he picked me. Years later when I no longer worked for the company he told me that he wanted to give someone who had next to no chance a big opportunity, which it was. I was the only hire that year not from an Ivy League school. One of my classmate's mother was a Governor and another a CEO of a well know firm. I was really in a different world. The training program was 18 months long and I finished 6th out of 44. Not bad. I learned that the Ivy League schools use the same text books as the state schools. I was the only gay guy. My best friend from that program was the only woman hired that year, a Puerto Rican lesbian from Yale. Looking back now it was almost all white privilege. I was immediately hired by the Swiss SVP for his unit and was able to travel to Europe, Brazil, and Argentina with him. He was a stunning looking Aryan man, blonde with blue eyes, custom made suits and he spoke 5 languages. NYC was such an exciting world for this country bumpkin, and I will be forever greatful to my first and only gay professional Daddy.

[quote] A lot of people are told they are overqualified, but what that really means is they based on their experience and education, they probably wouldn’t tolerate management or a shitty work environment. They want people who are compliant.

Yes, compliant is what most employers are looking for. It's understandable. You don't want someone who is fighting you at every turn. I think most people don't know how to have a disagreement about how something should be done and then move on, amicably. Every disagreement is seen as negative.

Yes agreed there people who are problems and have HR on speed dial, but hiring nothing but mediocre bobble heads that contribute nothing more than the bare minimum is a negative as well.

Too many companies perpetuate a parent-child management style out of convenience, which fosters little cultivation of their own work force. It creates a glass ceiling where any promotions and positions are given to outside hires. If all you want is worker bees, it’s fine, but ultimately it usually leads to bad morale and high overturn of employees.

[quote]What about a silent "e", [R106]?

You’re taking it far too literally. When we were told this rule, we knew what was meant.

R109, Did you work at Intel?

Don't ever put personal interests or reading materials on your resume. Never say you took time off for any reason. And people only care about your last 10 yrs of work. Keep it brief. Exception is when you are working with a headhunter. They need to know details about all your experience. Even then they will pigeon hole you.

R111 did you fuck the Swiss Daddy? Full Details.

I only hjire people I can find a positive reason to hire. I won't hire anyone who cannot (or will not) explain why they made various life choices. Why that college? Why that job? I'm not looking for the "right" answer, I'm looking for people who are analytical and therefore have reasons for what they do.

has reasons, not have.

R49 My last boyfriend had a stepfather that he just hated. I Googled the stepdad once and found his LinkedIn page and it was filled with those types of buzzwords.

No, R119, "have reasons" is correct. The sentence is "I'm looking for people who (are analytical and therefore) have reasons for what they do." The verb has to agree with the subject, which is the plural noun, people. People have, not people has...

R28 is a sexist and a racist.

No tie = no women

No weird names that aren't "family names" = no black people

I always tell future employers I “come correct” to work every day

What does that mean, r123?

"Activities: Enjoy reading, traveling, and cooking."

Really? You're bragging that you can read and feed yourself?

Don't include mundane non-work or education-related crap.

99% of the time gay men will not hire other gay men.

R16 I graduated from Notre Dame? Would you not hire me based on #2?

No question mark after Notre Dame. Ugh.

R127/E128 I wouldn't hire you based on that typo.

Never ignore red flags!

R126 this is true. Gay men have evolved to fight for the affection of Fag Hags and they don’t like to share attention. Funny how we don’t support each other.

I lost a job last December I’m in IT and was a manager for a manufacturing concern. It was part of a merger. Due to the time of year, I put out some resumes and did contract work in a lower position, which I enjoyed but didn’t pay as well. I’m 50s.

I got a few bites that required moving but no offers. Got Covid in February, didn’t get hospitalized but it was serious. Started taking work again in early April but was limited due to physical restrictions. Finally feel 100% this month.

So I’m looking for a “real” job now. I know to cover that seven month period with my contract work. Should I include being sick, as that work does not exactly punch up my resume? I know the positions to pursue and that I am in a tough spot at my age. But I do have some skills, both broad and focused, that I hope to sell.

Thanks for an honest (and based on where we are, biting) response.

I'd suggest you proof your CV and cover letter carefully, R131. Your post had serious punctuation problems at the start. I know that tech skills can be paramount in IT, but if someone is hiring a manager they want to know that documents will be clear and go out properly edited. :)

I was expecting the biting to be up to DL standards, r132. I don’t pay attention to criticism of my writing on a casual message board any more than I would if I were tagging an overpass. But you gave it your best effort.

Just hold on. I’m hoping the talented zingers will arrive soon.

Maybe you should take notes.

Years and years ago, when I was just starting out in Human Resources, I was reviewing resumes for a hospital administrator position at Greater Miami General.

Well this one came through and it was handwritten, not typed.

And in PENCIL, no less!

And I could see obvious eraser marks!!

University of St. Olaf graduate indeed.

Grammatical errors and misspelled words...Right in the circular file.

Jr. League = Snotty sorority, social-climbing sister

TX A&M cadet corps = do not hire. Fundie, frat douchebro with delusions of superiority.

Bite me, R131.

What are some good things you can add to your resume that can be a lie and no one ever checks on?

Don't put any lies on your resume, R138. Bad idea. Forget it.

R139 thanks, but anyone else?

R139 HR?

No one that works in HR should judge anyone

You really shouldn't lie on your resume -It's grounds for firing you later if it comes out. Instead, think of how you can word the truth, but make it sound better.

Ex: Applying for a job as a physical therapist at a hospital. Been working in the field for ten years. In the interview: "My first job out of high school was with the Miami Dolphins. I decided that sports medicine was just too narrow a focus, always dealing with the same types of injuries." Translation: I got a job selling peanuts in the stands at the Dolphins' stadium. They owned it, so I really did work for them -just not in the capacity of therapist. I was sick of standing out in the sun, so I decided no more stadium work.

Echoing R139. Just don't lie. You never know who might be super anal and check or who will recognize the lie on sight because they have personal knowledge. And you don't know who might share the fact that you lied in your CV with their networks.

R111, what do you do now?

[quote]I'd suggest you proof your CV and cover letter carefully, [R131]. Your post had serious punctuation problems at the start.

For the millionth fucking time: DL is a time-wasting Internet forum where people quickly type their random thoughts in an informal, conversational style. It is not an official work document or academic research paper. The pathetic grammar and spelling prisspots who expect perfect spelling and punctuation on a fun Internet forum might as well give up and go somewhere else. That will never happen on here or any other forum where people quickly type and post to put their thoughts down.

Chill dude. See r133.

Don’t feed it.

What if you have been a full time frau your entire life and been supported by some pussy whipped male for the past 20 years? What can I use to create a useable resumé now that he left me for someone way cuter who respects him and weighs half as much as I do?

HR has been taken over by preppy black women who wanna be white but have a militant undertone.

I don't participate in hiring now, but at my old company I did. They would go in the follow-up pile right away if:

-They had simultaneously held more than one job near the beginning of their work history

-They had worked as a waiter or a bartender for more than a year

I firmly believe everyone should work at a restaurant at some point in their life to experience how cunty most people are. It gets you a thick skin and also teaches things like how to be money motivated.

Immediate red flags:

-If they included a salary request when the salary was listed on the posting (showed they probably were just spamming their resume out and didn't even read the posting)

-If they worked sales at a company known for home improvement products (meant they were a telemarketer)

-If they upload their resume as a word document when we specifically ask for a PDF

-People who list their personal social media accounts as contact info (I don't want to see the trashy pics of you in your myspace emo phase or view your failed attempt to become an instagram influencer)

-Oddly specific, but a guy listed his self-published novel as part of his job history with a link to the site where you could purchase it. That went in the trash.

[quote]I firmly believe everyone should work at a restaurant at some point in their life to experience how cunty most people are. It gets you a thick skin and also teaches things like how to be money motivated.

I've also been saying this for many years. It should be required. Waiting tables makes you a better person, I absolutely believe that.

Say you get an interview face-to-face. Usually you shake hands correct? So what’s the proper greeting in the days of Covid?

Mutual coughing

R152 - present hole. Nust make sure it is clean as that is the professional thing to do.

R114 - what do names ending in a vowel mean?

Do they meet the requirements of the job description?

Everything else is irrelevant.

I don’t know if I agree with the undertone, r149. But I have to agree about the trend.

R156 nothing racist about it. It just is what it is. The ones I’ve seen suck up to the white patriarchy in charge and sort of betray their own.

I have to share this cover letter my husband received from a clueless Millennial for a sales coordinator position at his company. It's HYSTERICAL:

To whom it may concern,

I guess I should start with a little introduction of myself. I'm Chauncey, I was born in this beautiful city but when my parents decided to have more children we moved to the wonderful New Jersey suburbs. After college I decided it was time to finally leave the Northeast. I headed to Chicago, also dubbed the second city, windy city, etc. When I moved there I thought I was going to get into the baking industry. During college I fell in love with baking bread, I loved the way the yeast smelled, I loved kneading dough with my hands, waiting for it to get to the perfect texture before leaving it for about an hour to rise. The best part about baking bread was getting to eat the bread warm, after it was done baking. With some butter, or my true favorite food: cheese. As a young recently out of college gal I was a little scared about making money, so instead of just applying to bread shops, I applied to almost anything that sounded vaguely interesting, When I first got the call back from Pastoral I was ecstatic, cheese shops were real, and you could work at them!

I loved working with cheese even more than I loved baking bread. I love the stink of a gooey washed rind cheese, the nuttiness of an aged alpine, the earthiness of a great English cheddar. But enough about my love for food. I also realized that I'm organized and great at being in charge. I spent four years at Pastoral and in that time I went from being just a Cheesemonger, to an assistant manager and then on to run the shop myself. I loved creating new concepts and coming up with ways to drive sales. I loved training people and seeing my employees get just as excited about new cheeses as I was. I created new ordering systems to make sure we weren't over ordering anything and were staying on budget. I changed our scheduling systems to make sure we weren't wasting money on having to many people working at once, while also making sure that the shop was well manned and organized. I helped increase holiday catering by creating documents to keep in touch with past customers. I assisted our event coordinator by properly scheduling, ordering, set-up, and connecting with clients. Overall I just made the entire store function more smoothly on a daily-basis.

And then in January of 2018 I had a crazy idea that I needed to travel more, so I bought a one way ticket to Israel and traveled for 8 months. Mostly in Europe, but I did a brief stint on the Asian side of Turkey. I did almost all of my traveling by myself. I met amazing people along the way and learned a ton about the world and myself. I organized all my travel accommodations, including lodging, finding the cheapest and most efficient way to get from place to place, and daily budgeting. Upon returning to the US I decided to get a seasonal job at a cheese shop in New York in order to get back on my feet. But the truth is that I’m ready for something new. I want to take what I’ve learned at my past job, including my organizational savvy, interpersonal skills, and multitasking abilities to and work for a company that inspires me.

I’m incredibly excited about the opportunity to work for [REDACTED]. I love travel, and education, and everything that your company stands for. It would be an honor to be able to work with such an important and exciting company. Being the Sales Coordinator for [REDACTED] would be the perfect position for me. I have both management and travel experience. I’m a natural problem solver and I work great in groups or individually. I could go on and on about how my past experiences have helped prepare me for this position, but I don’t want to bore you. I just really want to convey how excited I was when I came across this position. Thank you so much for taking the time to read my resume and cover letter. I hope I’ve convinced you that all of my combined experience and skill set makes me the perfect candidate for this position.

R158 she sounds like the Fraus who post here. Just as long and I didn’t finish reading her bullshit either.

Good lord r158! First rule of cover letters: Keep it short and on-point. Second rule of cover letters: Relevant work experience ONLY. No personal stuff or stuff that's unrelated to the position.

WTF are they teaching these kids?

That they are special and unique and everything they do is ecstatically wonderful.

R154 many Italian & Polish last names end with a vowel. They were discriminated against years ago in the United States. Maybe they still are. I just don’t hear about it anymore.

I once met with a headhunter who lured me with a job prospect. He was a bombastic schmoosy guy who obviously thought a lot of himself. Spent an hour critiquing my resume saying it was too long and that I shouldn't include volunteer board work. He had a couple of good points but it was a waste of time. Don't think he asked me one question and of course never heard back about the position. So weird.

R163 I think a lot of headhunters are addicts, liars and sex fiends.

What if you were in the military and then graduated from a good college? Should you list your military time?

Not if you plan to work for Trump R165