Carraville: Pundits in Love

Probaby too much extended eye-contact to be laddy.

Twitterpatted👨‍❤️‍💋‍👨

They’re so blatantly disgustingly into each other that even straight blokes posting on team forums and on sportsfan Twitter and in YT comment sections are unanimously saying “get a room eh lads”.

Turns out this mating dance has been going on for five years now and I didn’t even realise??

Take this moment:

Carra: *about van Gaal being the favorite for Man U manager* I’m surprised hasn’t been talked of… [looks at Gary] would you take it? If you were offered it?

G Nev: *BEDROOM EYES + SUGGESTIVE EYEBROW + SHY COY GRIN* I’m happy here with you...

Carra:🕳🤭😍

LFC just...won the Prem.

Is Gary alright? This⬇️ was his last IG post, followed by a wave goodbye on Twitter and then nothing since. It’s a running joke on SkySport that he’d go M.I.A. if Liverpool won, but honestly I’m legit a bit concerned he might have tried to top himself :/

Sexy when they were trying to kill each other...

As well as a Manc term of derision ‘Nugget’ also makes for an adorable pet name💕

Gary is still AWOL😥

Remembering happier days on the sofa with bae (five feet apart bc ur not gay)...

Poor Gaz. This last fortnight must have been really rough on his emotions, and on his jaw—congratulatory suckjobs are tiring and Carra is a big lad who doesn’t tire..

Gary still looks shattered and it’s only the first day back at work since the Incident lmao

Come to think of it Gary has no leg to stand on being this mardy about LFC’s win. His direct ancestors of 200 years ago were from Merseyside.

🎶Gary Neville is a Red, is a Red, is a Red...but we never said which shade😬

“Right Jamie; what’s all these fookin’ text messages about? What you texting Our Phil for? Ee’s a fookin’ bag of nerves. You’re a bad tramp, you, yanno Jamie...”

Who are they, where do you posters come from and what the fuck are you talking about?

^^ 1. Jamie Carragher & Gary Neville, two retired Premier League soccer players (for Liverpool & Manchester United respectively) who now commentate on and analyse games on Sky Sports tv channel in the U.K.

2. Britain for the most part presumably, or any other country that can get Sky channels on cable or streaming.

3. The very close emotional relationship between the aforementioned pundits, who in spite of their natural beginnings as enemies (from fierce rival football clubs) seem to have developed a noticeable ‘slap-slap-kiss’ type of chemistry on television and spend all their free time offscreen together as well (despite being married with kids). Many casual viewers of Sky Sports as well as diehard football fabs have noticed that the pair are unusually close, friendly and affectionate for two men who despised each other and claimed to be sworn enemies until they were 35. ‘Carraville’ is their portmanteau.

There are over 200 fanfics about them on Archive of Our Own, some written very recently. For an obscure British niche interest, that’s a landslide.

I am R12. One the same day I posted, videos of them dominate my Youtube recommendations. WTF?

^^YT’s evil algorithms + cookies in your browser tracking your activity

Try private browsing, a VPN/proxy server, and clearing your browser cache to stop it.

JOE.com thinks they should be together.

Now Gary is playing around with face-meld apps. He’s really got it bad, hasn’t he?

The mashup of their faces looks like RyRen😂

Is it weird that the young Gary Neville was kind of a...twink?

Just unearthed this ancient Mirror article (from 2008!) interviewing Becks, and in it a 33-year old Goldenballs straight up says that he’d have no angst about Gary hanging out alone with Posh while she was naked. Given what horny cheating opportunistic bastards most active footie players are, that speaks volumes—either about Gary’s integrity, or his sexuality.

The European Super League debacle has brought Gary & Jamie into total alignment. It’s been a long time coming, and might be one of the few positive outcomes to the whole awful business.

Aww, Carra would let Gaz punch him (in exchange for a Liverpool cup win...)

I have to admit, Carragher has disgusted me ever since the 'spit' incident. I get that he was maybe being goaded but I would still not have done that. Gary on the other hand, I can't help but like: his heart seems in the right place.

R23 Gary does seem milder than Jamie in their middle-age, though Gary has always been the older and more serious-minded of the two. I wonder sometimes if Jamie’s enthusiasm for boxing is partly a mandated thing (by his wife, or his employers) as a way to channel his aggression.

Now that the season has ended, I worried that there would be no Carraville interaction to get us through the Euros, and that we wouldn’t hear from the lads until September.

However, we’re not even a week in and Gary has already picked up the ball.

90s Liverpool didn’t win as much as 90s Man United and they didn’t have the same killer instinct, but the football they played was far more technically-accomplished, elegant to watch.

Liverpool could glide through shapes, win challenges without force (yes, even the brutish defenders like Carra), and make passes look like poetry. Man United would just clump around and hoof it with as much doggedness and aggression as possible, hideous as sin.

Gal has a nicer arse.

It’s been a few years, and I still can’t believe Gary actually pushed against his own former teammates to include aesthetic shots of Jamie in the CLASS OF ‘92 documentary.

Gary Neville is so in love with a Scouser that he’ll stain his own legacy story and reputation with beautiful soft-focus images of one.

Carra’s angling for a wedding, according to his latest Tweet.

It’s the 30th anniversary of the Premier League, and Gary & Jamie took a romantic barge trip to commemorate it.

The lads are preparing for the charity Soccer Aid game next month with some flirty banterous trash-talk.

respect to the person on Insta live who asked Gary if him and Carra kiss ❤️

Lads obviously had a good winter break, they’re glowing.

Gary in particular is effusive in his praise for Carra in their latest special sit-down for Sky Sports. Calling Jamie “impossible to replace”, with a fond shy look in his she’s, on national telly broadcast to millions? 💓 well, suppose it is nearly Valentines’ Day, after all....