Hello and thank you for being a DL contributor. We are changing the login scheme for contributors for simpler login and to better support using multiple devices. Please click here to update your account with a username and password.

Hello. Some features on this site require registration. Please click here to register for free.

Hello and thank you for registering. Please complete the process by verifying your email address. If you can't find the email you can resend it here.

Hello. Some features on this site require a subscription. Please click here to get full access and no ads for $1.99 or less per month.

Trump's birthday is in a couple weeks - what should we get him?

I think we should pitch in to buy him a shade of foundation that matches his skin tone

Offsite Link
by Anonymousreply 49May 30, 2020 6:38 AM

A bottle of Clorox Bleach.

by Anonymousreply 1May 28, 2020 10:09 PM

A bowel movement.

by Anonymousreply 2May 28, 2020 10:13 PM

A deadly overdose of hydroxychloroquine.

by Anonymousreply 3May 28, 2020 10:30 PM

A cyanide tablet?

by Anonymousreply 4May 28, 2020 10:33 PM

A visit from Tiffany and Baron

by Anonymousreply 5May 28, 2020 10:33 PM

No. I was wrong. Make that two cyanide tablets.

by Anonymousreply 6May 28, 2020 10:34 PM

Hello! Is First Melania. Please sign my Donald's card for Birth day.

Offsite Link
by Anonymousreply 7May 28, 2020 10:34 PM

A motorcade through Dallas.

by Anonymousreply 8May 28, 2020 10:36 PM

What date? There’s a meme going around for June 6 something to mail him postcards but don’t know what for.

by Anonymousreply 9May 28, 2020 10:38 PM

I love to ship boxes of cow flop.

by Anonymousreply 10May 28, 2020 10:55 PM

Nothing. Nothing at all. Not even a card.

by Anonymousreply 11May 28, 2020 11:11 PM

If you sent him a box full of instant empathy, he'd kill himself, I bet.

by Anonymousreply 12May 28, 2020 11:29 PM

paint

Offsite Link
by Anonymousreply 13May 28, 2020 11:36 PM

We could all chip in and buy him a heart. Or a brain.

by Anonymousreply 14May 28, 2020 11:57 PM

A mask ... and matching strait jacket.

by Anonymousreply 15May 29, 2020 12:03 AM

This one, r15?

by Anonymousreply 16May 29, 2020 12:05 AM

Which public figure shares Orange It's birthday? We should make a huge, nationwide display of heaping accolades and birthday greetings upon that person alone on his/her special day while ignoring APOTUS.

by Anonymousreply 17May 29, 2020 12:09 AM

R17 Perfect! He'd never tolerate the competition. Trump has sarcastically commented many times on Dr. Fauci's popularity overshadowing his own.

by Anonymousreply 18May 29, 2020 12:16 AM

Let’s all send stool samples to the White House

by Anonymousreply 19May 29, 2020 12:19 AM

I remember there was an incident - as president - when he had to be reminded that it was Melania's birthday. One of his staff people quickly gave him a birthday card for her which he then proudly showed off to the press in an attempt to prove that he hadn't forgotten her birthday. But he addressed it to "Melanie" or some other misspelling of her name.

by Anonymousreply 20May 29, 2020 12:21 AM

I want to know what Ivanka gives him...

by Anonymousreply 21May 29, 2020 12:22 AM

Ivanka lets him have her for a wife for the whole day.

by Anonymousreply 22May 29, 2020 12:49 AM

^Eww. But, you could be right.

by Anonymousreply 23May 29, 2020 12:51 AM

R19 Buy a brown padded envelope from the Dollar Tree, address it to DJT at the WH, take a dump in it, seal it, add $1.00 postage, and mail it. Beautiful!!

by Anonymousreply 24May 29, 2020 1:03 AM

Ivanka Pees on the mattress is the Lincoln Bedroom for him and then they engage in anal

by Anonymousreply 25May 29, 2020 1:04 AM

[quote]Ivanka lets him have her for a wife for the whole day.

R22 Trump ignores his wives. No, Ivanka will have to provide special favors - you know the ones I mean.

by Anonymousreply 26May 29, 2020 1:08 AM

"It's not incest if I fuck you up the ass."

by Anonymousreply 27May 29, 2020 1:08 AM

I’m getting him a Kim Kardashian girdle.

by Anonymousreply 28May 29, 2020 1:10 AM

Adult diapers, the 2XL extra large size.

Offsite Link
by Anonymousreply 29May 29, 2020 1:12 AM

I want to know what Mz Lindsey and Big Bill Barr will be giving him besides their undying loyalty. You know that's not enough for Strumpf.

by Anonymousreply 30May 29, 2020 1:57 AM

A simple pine box. Triple wide.

by Anonymousreply 31May 29, 2020 3:12 AM

Preparation H for his anus-mouth.

by Anonymousreply 32May 29, 2020 3:14 AM

r29, why get him something he already has?

by Anonymousreply 33May 29, 2020 3:31 AM

Kerosene and a match.

by Anonymousreply 34May 29, 2020 3:34 AM

An Obama face mask

by Anonymousreply 35May 29, 2020 4:16 AM

A banana peel for him to slip on. Think of the videos!

by Anonymousreply 36May 29, 2020 4:22 AM

Some FB groups are planning to flood his Twitter feed with pictures of Obama on his birthday.

by Anonymousreply 37May 29, 2020 4:27 AM

A replica of the USS John McCain

by Anonymousreply 38May 29, 2020 4:39 AM

“What about this one?” “The donnatella collection.”

Offsite Link
by Anonymousreply 39May 29, 2020 4:48 AM

Noogies!!

Offsite Link
by Anonymousreply 40May 29, 2020 10:31 AM

Something for the man who has everything. I'm sure Melanoma will gladly fit it on him just right.

Offsite Link
by Anonymousreply 41May 29, 2020 2:45 PM

Will Melania actually let him have sex with her on his birthday? Or will they continue to occupy separate bedrooms?

by Anonymousreply 42May 29, 2020 4:49 PM

A nice cemetery plot in Russia.

by Anonymousreply 43May 30, 2020 12:34 AM

A roiling GREASE FIRE HOT TUB FROM HELL!!!

by Anonymousreply 44May 30, 2020 12:44 AM

A lifetime prescription to Pravda.

by Anonymousreply 45May 30, 2020 2:03 AM

A great big heart attack for fat people

by Anonymousreply 46May 30, 2020 2:07 AM

I wish we could send him shit but it would not be allowed. Maybe something he would like...with virus all over it? That would be nice.

by Anonymousreply 47May 30, 2020 5:37 AM

A stroke would be nice.

by Anonymousreply 48May 30, 2020 6:09 AM

Three cyanide tablets?

He can always share with Don Jr. and Eric...

by Anonymousreply 49May 30, 2020 6:38 AM
Loading
Need more help? Click Here.

Yes indeed, we too use "cookies." Take a look at our privacy/terms or if you just want to see the damn site without all this bureaucratic nonsense, click ACCEPT. Otherwise, you'll just have to find some other site for your pointless bitchery needs.

×

Become a contributor - post when you want with no ads!