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Why Did Charlie Want To Be A Starkist Tuna So Badly??

Surely he knows what comes at the end of that title. And, to flip that, why was Charlie always passed over by Starkist? Was it a human resources conspiracy? Nepotism?

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by Chester Cheetoreply 2505/24/2020

Charlie had been outed by a drunken Morris the Cat at an industry party.

A shame, reallly.

by Chester Cheetoreply 105/24/2020

Morris was a finicky drama queen who would fit our DL profile and considered Charley as trade and not high class enough to eat.

by Chester Cheetoreply 205/24/2020

Why does he want us to eat tuna at all?? Why is the Dough Boy always selling out his own kind?? Why are the Green Giant and Sprout so keen to get us to eat veggies when they are clearly vegetables themselves?????

by Chester Cheetoreply 305/24/2020

What I am, R2, is a 32 year-old, ugly, pockmarked gay Jew housecat, and if it takes me a little while to pull myself together, and if I smoke a little grass before I get up the nerve to show my face to the world, it's nobody's goddamned business but my own.

And how are you this evening?

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by Chester Cheetoreply 405/24/2020

Charlie got passed over because he smelled "funny" down there.

by Chester Cheetoreply 505/24/2020

[quote]Why Did Charlie Want To Be A Starkist Tuna So Badly??


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by Chester Cheetoreply 605/24/2020

Here I am on a beautiful Sunday morning in May relaxing and enjoying a cuppa coffee. Why am I reading the bio of Charlie the StarKist tuna?

by Chester Cheetoreply 705/24/2020

R4. Bravo !

by Chester Cheetoreply 805/24/2020

Charlie understood that we’re all going to die someday and be eaten by something.

by Chester Cheetoreply 905/24/2020

LOL. I love you, OP.

Also, R6, yes! As a former Californian, those fucking Foster Farms imposter chickens used to drive me up the wall as a kid. Why were they so desperate to be thought of as Foster Farms chickens so they could be slaughtered and eaten? I know I'm asking a logical question about something that will never have a logical answer, but, still..

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by Chester Cheetoreply 1005/24/2020

He was rejected by Starfish because of "personality issues"

by Chester Cheetoreply 1105/24/2020

Good use of a sacrificial dagger. Just passing through.

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by Chester Cheetoreply 1205/24/2020

Because Charlie was terrible at yardwork, unlike the Chantix turkey.

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by Chester Cheetoreply 1305/24/2020

He was a hipster.

by Chester Cheetoreply 1405/24/2020

If he had called himself Charles LaTuna he would have been acceptable.

by Chester Cheetoreply 1505/24/2020

Charlie, those chickens, and the Trix rabbit spent YEARS in therapy to deal with their rejection issues.

by Chester Cheetoreply 1605/24/2020

Charlie's friends told him he smelled like a fucking dead Cheryl down there.

by Chester Cheetoreply 1705/24/2020

Those Chick-Fil-A cows urging us to "eat more chik'in" at least have some sense of self-preservation.

by Chester Cheetoreply 1805/24/2020

Psst...Charlie. It's a death cult.

by Chester Cheetoreply 1905/24/2020

Charlie was a pass around bottom...

by Chester Cheetoreply 2005/24/2020

The Chantix turkey is the most absurd mascot ever.

by Chester Cheetoreply 2105/24/2020

Because he knew he smelled like Melania's pussy and wanted to end it all.

by Chester Cheetoreply 2205/24/2020

R22 Bitch please! Everyone knows I have the most stank ass pussy ever!!!

by Chester Cheetoreply 2305/24/2020

He was caught orally pleasuring Mr Limpet and it was all downhill from there

by Chester Cheetoreply 2405/24/2020

Charlie was a quisling.

by Chester Cheetoreply 2505/24/2020
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