Surely he knows what comes at the end of that title. And, to flip that, why was Charlie always passed over by Starkist? Was it a human resources conspiracy? Nepotism?
Why Did Charlie Want To Be A Starkist Tuna So Badly??
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| by Anonymous | reply 25 | May 24, 2020 9:04 PM |
Charlie had been outed by a drunken Morris the Cat at an industry party.
A shame, reallly.
| by Anonymous | reply 1 | May 24, 2020 4:03 PM |
Morris was a finicky drama queen who would fit our DL profile and considered Charley as trade and not high class enough to eat.
| by Anonymous | reply 2 | May 24, 2020 4:08 PM |
Why does he want us to eat tuna at all?? Why is the Dough Boy always selling out his own kind?? Why are the Green Giant and Sprout so keen to get us to eat veggies when they are clearly vegetables themselves?????
| by Anonymous | reply 3 | May 24, 2020 4:22 PM |
What I am, R2, is a 32 year-old, ugly, pockmarked gay Jew housecat, and if it takes me a little while to pull myself together, and if I smoke a little grass before I get up the nerve to show my face to the world, it's nobody's goddamned business but my own.
And how are you this evening?
| by Anonymous | reply 4 | May 24, 2020 4:29 PM |
Charlie got passed over because he smelled "funny" down there.
| by Anonymous | reply 5 | May 24, 2020 4:36 PM |
[quote]Why Did Charlie Want To Be A Starkist Tuna So Badly??
Deathwish?
| by Anonymous | reply 6 | May 24, 2020 4:39 PM |
Here I am on a beautiful Sunday morning in May relaxing and enjoying a cuppa coffee. Why am I reading the bio of Charlie the StarKist tuna?
| by Anonymous | reply 7 | May 24, 2020 4:43 PM |
R4. Bravo !
| by Anonymous | reply 8 | May 24, 2020 4:48 PM |
Charlie understood that we’re all going to die someday and be eaten by something.
| by Anonymous | reply 9 | May 24, 2020 5:00 PM |
LOL. I love you, OP.
Also, R6, yes! As a former Californian, those fucking Foster Farms imposter chickens used to drive me up the wall as a kid. Why were they so desperate to be thought of as Foster Farms chickens so they could be slaughtered and eaten? I know I'm asking a logical question about something that will never have a logical answer, but, still..
| by Anonymous | reply 10 | May 24, 2020 5:05 PM |
He was rejected by Starfish because of "personality issues"
| by Anonymous | reply 11 | May 24, 2020 5:17 PM |
Good use of a sacrificial dagger. Just passing through.
| by Anonymous | reply 12 | May 24, 2020 5:23 PM |
Because Charlie was terrible at yardwork, unlike the Chantix turkey.
| by Anonymous | reply 13 | May 24, 2020 5:27 PM |
He was a hipster.
| by Anonymous | reply 14 | May 24, 2020 5:27 PM |
If he had called himself Charles LaTuna he would have been acceptable.
| by Anonymous | reply 15 | May 24, 2020 6:23 PM |
Charlie, those chickens, and the Trix rabbit spent YEARS in therapy to deal with their rejection issues.
| by Anonymous | reply 16 | May 24, 2020 8:05 PM |
Charlie's friends told him he smelled like a fucking dead Cheryl down there.
| by Anonymous | reply 17 | May 24, 2020 8:09 PM |
Those Chick-Fil-A cows urging us to "eat more chik'in" at least have some sense of self-preservation.
| by Anonymous | reply 18 | May 24, 2020 8:20 PM |
Psst...Charlie. It's a death cult.
| by Anonymous | reply 19 | May 24, 2020 8:46 PM |
Charlie was a pass around bottom...
| by Anonymous | reply 20 | May 24, 2020 8:48 PM |
The Chantix turkey is the most absurd mascot ever.
| by Anonymous | reply 21 | May 24, 2020 8:56 PM |
Because he knew he smelled like Melania's pussy and wanted to end it all.
| by Anonymous | reply 22 | May 24, 2020 8:58 PM |
R22 Bitch please! Everyone knows I have the most stank ass pussy ever!!!
| by Anonymous | reply 23 | May 24, 2020 8:59 PM |
He was caught orally pleasuring Mr Limpet and it was all downhill from there
| by Anonymous | reply 24 | May 24, 2020 8:59 PM |
Charlie was a quisling.
| by Anonymous | reply 25 | May 24, 2020 9:04 PM |