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I've been sick in bed for the past two days, during this time a woodpecker has been hammering outside right by my window

It's one of those big ones with a red tuft on the head.

Every time I get someone to scare it away, it returns about 10-15 minutes later to continue hammering. I think it's trying to build a nest in the wood siding.

As soon as I recover I'm going to catch, kill, air-fry and eat the fucker.

by Not even kiddingreply 5305/24/2020

One of these OP?

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by Not even kiddingreply 105/22/2020

Is it Covid ?

by Not even kiddingreply 205/22/2020

I believe you are sexually fustrated on top of being sick. It is my duty to bring you pleasure.

by Not even kiddingreply 305/22/2020

Your wood siding has termites. That's what the woodpecker is after - food.

by Not even kiddingreply 405/22/2020

The woodpecker is not pecking on your building. It’s hunting for bugs in a nearby tree. Leave it alone unless you want the state Department of Natural Resources on your ass.

by Not even kiddingreply 505/22/2020

Did he laugh annoyingly like this woodpecker???

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by Not even kiddingreply 605/22/2020

[quote]The woodpecker is not pecking on your building

Um... yes it is. It's pecking directly on the siding by my window.

by Not even kiddingreply 705/22/2020

I had a woodpecker problem in my condo, when I was in my early 20s. That bastard pecked every morning, right outside of my window. I went out to a club one night with friends, and heard the pecking in the morning. I was hungover, so it felt very early. I was PISSED, took a Xanax, and put my pillow over my head. The pecking went ON and ON. My mom called me an hour later, and left a voicemail saying “I know you went out last night and brought a man home. I knocked on your door for 20 minutes. Call me when he leaves”. We still laugh about it.

by Not even kiddingreply 805/22/2020

R8 lol. Great story.

by Not even kiddingreply 905/22/2020

Bird geek here. Do you have pics you can post? I ❤️. Lol!!!

by Not even kiddingreply 1005/22/2020

OP is a peckerwood.

by Not even kiddingreply 1105/22/2020

We have this issue as well at different times of the year and, no, no termites. We're at high altitude where they don't exist. The woodpeckers tap for many different reasons, often to make as much noise as possible to show off and attract a mate Insufferable buggers

by Not even kiddingreply 1205/22/2020

Hang an aluminum pie pan where it's pecking. That should scare it off.

by Not even kiddingreply 1305/22/2020

It's a sign. Death is approaching.

by Not even kiddingreply 1405/22/2020

Eating wildlife in the age of Covid?

by Not even kiddingreply 1505/22/2020

Drumming is a sign of advertising for a mate.

by Not even kiddingreply 1605/22/2020

This reminds me of Moby Dick. Ahab took the whale's actions personally when, in fact, the whale mistook the ship for a male rival and started ramming it to keep it away from potential mates. You need to get a plastic or stuffed woodpecker for his amorous inclinations.

by Not even kiddingreply 1705/22/2020

Op, did you hear the pecker call your name?

by Not even kiddingreply 1805/22/2020

Hello R17, the horny bird is drilling a glory hole into OP’s apartment. Seriously OP....do NOT stick your dick in that hole!

by Not even kiddingreply 1905/22/2020

Verificata of the pecker in question must be forthcoming herewith.

by Not even kiddingreply 2005/22/2020

Buy a plastic owl and a garden store and put it near your window.

It will scare away the wood pecker.

by Not even kiddingreply 2105/22/2020

The owl I get R21, but I wouldn’t advise buying a garden store in the current economy.

by Not even kiddingreply 2205/22/2020

Are you sure it's not a cardinal? They love to peck at their own reflection in the window glass. Quite annoying.

by Not even kiddingreply 2305/22/2020

Feel better soon OP.

Last time I painted the house I spent hours patching woodpecker holes in the siding. They are agents of evil, I tell ya!

by Not even kiddingreply 2405/22/2020

It’s mating season. I know northern flickers bang their beaks on wood to attract a mate. As soon as they get one, they stop pecking

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by Not even kiddingreply 2505/22/2020

Get a cat, OP.

by Not even kiddingreply 2605/22/2020

we had a woodpecker in the neighborhood that came back three years in a row. He would hit the block above me and my block and then the block below me. You could hear him all day long no matter what block he was on because he LOVED the no parking signs. He is long gone but the signs are still there covered in dents in the back. He must have liked the loud noise that it made. And that noise was LOUD

by Not even kiddingreply 2705/22/2020

Oh, please. Those fake owls are laughable. Woodpeckers are hardcore.

by Not even kiddingreply 2805/22/2020

Woodpeckers are awesome.

by Not even kiddingreply 2905/22/2020

OP - Would it be that difficult for you to put some birdseed & rat poison on your window sill?

by Not even kiddingreply 3005/22/2020

I’d recommend a ripped woodpecker hand puppet with a six inch beak blasting Sylvester as it pecks besides pudgy pulp pigeons.

Birds can pull that straight people bullshit somewhere else

by Not even kiddingreply 3105/22/2020

Temporary aluminum siding.

by Not even kiddingreply 3205/22/2020

I don't mind the tapping that Northern Flickers do. It's not that loud to me. What drove me nuts is that they put holes the size of large grapefruits in the backyard. I think they're the only woodpecker that forages on the ground. Between them and the squirrels, you could sprain an ankle in those holes. It's been a couple of years since I've seen them around.

by Not even kiddingreply 3305/23/2020

Wood peckers crack me up! I had the same thing OP. It made me laugh hysterically, I don't know why... (I love nature and birds anyway)

by Not even kiddingreply 3405/23/2020

You’re at home in bed, constantly masturbating. The bird sees your wood on display and wants to peck on it.

by Not even kiddingreply 3505/23/2020

OP? Get a BB gun. You don't have to hit the bird -- just scare it. It won't be back.

I got rid of a whole flock of pigeons on my back porch that way. I shot off an air pistol with BBs in it only one time, and they all flew away, never to return.

Happy hunting!

by Not even kiddingreply 3605/23/2020

As a child watching cartoons, I never understood the hatred directed at Woody Woodpecker. Now, having one living in my neighborhood for years, I do.

Pie tins and plastic owls won’t do a damn thing. Half the time the woodpecker is hammering on metal gutters and drains and making such an annoying racket that a pie tin would sound like a whisper. And owls are only effective until the creatures figure out that the thing is a lump of plastic.

by Not even kiddingreply 3705/23/2020

BB gun did not work. This woodpecker was drilling holes and stuffing acorns in the shingles. We had to replace ridge caps. As old shingles were pulled up acorns went flying everywhere. I eventually shot him with a .22. Shot his head off-all that was left was his beak and eyes.

by Not even kiddingreply 3805/23/2020

It is illegal to kill woodpeckers. But you already knew that.

by Not even kiddingreply 3905/23/2020

Starlings made a nest above my bedroom window. I can’t see it, but I can hear the babies & the mother feeds them all day long. If one of my cats lies in my window the mother bird squawks at them when she flies past. The must have banged the top of my metal soffits until they broke

by Not even kiddingreply 4005/23/2020

R39 bs. It's not like they're endangered.

by Not even kiddingreply 4105/23/2020

It's NOT illegal to kill Starlings!

Invasive non-native species.

by Not even kiddingreply 4205/23/2020

It most certainly is illegal to kill woodpeckers, though.

by Not even kiddingreply 4305/23/2020

R43 is right:

[quote] All woodpeckers are protected under the Migratory Bird Treaty Act (MBTA). This law says: “No person may take (kill), harass, possess, import, export, transport, sell, purchase, barter, or offer for sale, any migratory bird, or the parts, nests, or eggs of such bird except as may be permitted under the terms of a valid permit...”

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by Not even kiddingreply 4405/23/2020

I've known a few UG grads from Wharton and they are indeed stellar grads. Trump was 2 yr transfer from Fordham after his father paid.

by Not even kiddingreply 4505/23/2020

[R39] I did know that and I did not take pleasure in it. At the time I worked a 12 hour shift 7p to 7a in ED. It was impossible to sleep with that bird drilling on the roof. I tried the fake owl, pie tins and garden hose to no avail. It was out in the country, quiet otherwise.

by Not even kiddingreply 4605/23/2020

R46 regarding the acorn thing, I have a severe case of trypophobia and while looking up woodpeckers I came across this and my entire body literally shuddered. It's almost like the little fuckers enjoy psychologically torturing humans.

I will admit they're nice-looking critters though.

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by Not even kiddingreply 4705/24/2020

Now there's a phobia I never heard about.

by Not even kiddingreply 4805/24/2020

I have it too, r47. I started shaking after seeing that photo. So disgusting. Bee hives are worse though.

by Not even kiddingreply 4905/24/2020

Woodpeckers would much rather be in the woods drilling holes in trees but humans keep cutting the woods down.

by Not even kiddingreply 5005/24/2020

I had to look up trypophobia and learned that it is a fear of massed small holes. Do you guys who suffer from it have any idea how or why you developed it?

by Not even kiddingreply 5105/24/2020

Trypophobia is believed to be linked to an instinctive fear of disease, diseased things are often full of holes, furniture with woodworm for example.

by Not even kiddingreply 5205/24/2020

I live on acres with thousands of ponderosa pines but the woodpeckers still come to the house It makes more noise to show off for potential mates.

by Not even kiddingreply 5305/24/2020
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