I've been sick in bed for the past two days, during this time a woodpecker has been hammering outside right by my window
It's one of those big ones with a red tuft on the head.
Every time I get someone to scare it away, it returns about 10-15 minutes later to continue hammering. I think it's trying to build a nest in the wood siding.
As soon as I recover I'm going to catch, kill, air-fry and eat the fucker.
|by Not even kidding||reply 53||05/24/2020|
I believe you are sexually fustrated on top of being sick. It is my duty to bring you pleasure.
|by Not even kidding||reply 3||05/22/2020|
Your wood siding has termites. That's what the woodpecker is after - food.
|by Not even kidding||reply 4||05/22/2020|
The woodpecker is not pecking on your building. It’s hunting for bugs in a nearby tree. Leave it alone unless you want the state Department of Natural Resources on your ass.
|by Not even kidding||reply 5||05/22/2020|
Did he laugh annoyingly like this woodpecker???
|by Not even kidding||reply 6||05/22/2020|
[quote]The woodpecker is not pecking on your building
Um... yes it is. It's pecking directly on the siding by my window.
|by Not even kidding||reply 7||05/22/2020|
I had a woodpecker problem in my condo, when I was in my early 20s. That bastard pecked every morning, right outside of my window. I went out to a club one night with friends, and heard the pecking in the morning. I was hungover, so it felt very early. I was PISSED, took a Xanax, and put my pillow over my head. The pecking went ON and ON. My mom called me an hour later, and left a voicemail saying “I know you went out last night and brought a man home. I knocked on your door for 20 minutes. Call me when he leaves”. We still laugh about it.
|by Not even kidding||reply 8||05/22/2020|
Bird geek here. Do you have pics you can post? I ❤️. Lol!!!
|by Not even kidding||reply 10||05/22/2020|
We have this issue as well at different times of the year and, no, no termites. We're at high altitude where they don't exist. The woodpeckers tap for many different reasons, often to make as much noise as possible to show off and attract a mate Insufferable buggers
|by Not even kidding||reply 12||05/22/2020|
Hang an aluminum pie pan where it's pecking. That should scare it off.
|by Not even kidding||reply 13||05/22/2020|
It's a sign. Death is approaching.
|by Not even kidding||reply 14||05/22/2020|
Eating wildlife in the age of Covid?
|by Not even kidding||reply 15||05/22/2020|
Drumming is a sign of advertising for a mate.
|by Not even kidding||reply 16||05/22/2020|
This reminds me of Moby Dick. Ahab took the whale's actions personally when, in fact, the whale mistook the ship for a male rival and started ramming it to keep it away from potential mates. You need to get a plastic or stuffed woodpecker for his amorous inclinations.
|by Not even kidding||reply 17||05/22/2020|
Op, did you hear the pecker call your name?
|by Not even kidding||reply 18||05/22/2020|
Hello R17, the horny bird is drilling a glory hole into OP’s apartment. Seriously OP....do NOT stick your dick in that hole!
|by Not even kidding||reply 19||05/22/2020|
Verificata of the pecker in question must be forthcoming herewith.
|by Not even kidding||reply 20||05/22/2020|
Buy a plastic owl and a garden store and put it near your window.
It will scare away the wood pecker.
|by Not even kidding||reply 21||05/22/2020|
The owl I get R21, but I wouldn’t advise buying a garden store in the current economy.
|by Not even kidding||reply 22||05/22/2020|
Are you sure it's not a cardinal? They love to peck at their own reflection in the window glass. Quite annoying.
|by Not even kidding||reply 23||05/22/2020|
Feel better soon OP.
Last time I painted the house I spent hours patching woodpecker holes in the siding. They are agents of evil, I tell ya!
|by Not even kidding||reply 24||05/22/2020|
It’s mating season. I know northern flickers bang their beaks on wood to attract a mate. As soon as they get one, they stop pecking
|by Not even kidding||reply 25||05/22/2020|
we had a woodpecker in the neighborhood that came back three years in a row. He would hit the block above me and my block and then the block below me. You could hear him all day long no matter what block he was on because he LOVED the no parking signs. He is long gone but the signs are still there covered in dents in the back. He must have liked the loud noise that it made. And that noise was LOUD
|by Not even kidding||reply 27||05/22/2020|
Oh, please. Those fake owls are laughable. Woodpeckers are hardcore.
|by Not even kidding||reply 28||05/22/2020|
OP - Would it be that difficult for you to put some birdseed & rat poison on your window sill?
|by Not even kidding||reply 30||05/22/2020|
I’d recommend a ripped woodpecker hand puppet with a six inch beak blasting Sylvester as it pecks besides pudgy pulp pigeons.
Birds can pull that straight people bullshit somewhere else
|by Not even kidding||reply 31||05/22/2020|
Temporary aluminum siding.
|by Not even kidding||reply 32||05/22/2020|
I don't mind the tapping that Northern Flickers do. It's not that loud to me. What drove me nuts is that they put holes the size of large grapefruits in the backyard. I think they're the only woodpecker that forages on the ground. Between them and the squirrels, you could sprain an ankle in those holes. It's been a couple of years since I've seen them around.
|by Not even kidding||reply 33||05/23/2020|
Wood peckers crack me up! I had the same thing OP. It made me laugh hysterically, I don't know why... (I love nature and birds anyway)
|by Not even kidding||reply 34||05/23/2020|
You’re at home in bed, constantly masturbating. The bird sees your wood on display and wants to peck on it.
|by Not even kidding||reply 35||05/23/2020|
OP? Get a BB gun. You don't have to hit the bird -- just scare it. It won't be back.
I got rid of a whole flock of pigeons on my back porch that way. I shot off an air pistol with BBs in it only one time, and they all flew away, never to return.
|by Not even kidding||reply 36||05/23/2020|
As a child watching cartoons, I never understood the hatred directed at Woody Woodpecker. Now, having one living in my neighborhood for years, I do.
Pie tins and plastic owls won’t do a damn thing. Half the time the woodpecker is hammering on metal gutters and drains and making such an annoying racket that a pie tin would sound like a whisper. And owls are only effective until the creatures figure out that the thing is a lump of plastic.
|by Not even kidding||reply 37||05/23/2020|
BB gun did not work. This woodpecker was drilling holes and stuffing acorns in the shingles. We had to replace ridge caps. As old shingles were pulled up acorns went flying everywhere. I eventually shot him with a .22. Shot his head off-all that was left was his beak and eyes.
|by Not even kidding||reply 38||05/23/2020|
It is illegal to kill woodpeckers. But you already knew that.
|by Not even kidding||reply 39||05/23/2020|
Starlings made a nest above my bedroom window. I can’t see it, but I can hear the babies & the mother feeds them all day long. If one of my cats lies in my window the mother bird squawks at them when she flies past. The must have banged the top of my metal soffits until they broke
|by Not even kidding||reply 40||05/23/2020|
R39 bs. It's not like they're endangered.
|by Not even kidding||reply 41||05/23/2020|
It's NOT illegal to kill Starlings!
Invasive non-native species.
|by Not even kidding||reply 42||05/23/2020|
It most certainly is illegal to kill woodpeckers, though.
|by Not even kidding||reply 43||05/23/2020|
R43 is right:
[quote] All woodpeckers are protected under the Migratory Bird Treaty Act (MBTA). This law says: “No person may take (kill), harass, possess, import, export, transport, sell, purchase, barter, or offer for sale, any migratory bird, or the parts, nests, or eggs of such bird except as may be permitted under the terms of a valid permit...”
|by Not even kidding||reply 44||05/23/2020|
I've known a few UG grads from Wharton and they are indeed stellar grads. Trump was 2 yr transfer from Fordham after his father paid.
|by Not even kidding||reply 45||05/23/2020|
[R39] I did know that and I did not take pleasure in it. At the time I worked a 12 hour shift 7p to 7a in ED. It was impossible to sleep with that bird drilling on the roof. I tried the fake owl, pie tins and garden hose to no avail. It was out in the country, quiet otherwise.
|by Not even kidding||reply 46||05/23/2020|
R46 regarding the acorn thing, I have a severe case of trypophobia and while looking up woodpeckers I came across this and my entire body literally shuddered. It's almost like the little fuckers enjoy psychologically torturing humans.
I will admit they're nice-looking critters though.
|by Not even kidding||reply 47||05/24/2020|
Now there's a phobia I never heard about.
|by Not even kidding||reply 48||05/24/2020|
I have it too, r47. I started shaking after seeing that photo. So disgusting. Bee hives are worse though.
|by Not even kidding||reply 49||05/24/2020|
Woodpeckers would much rather be in the woods drilling holes in trees but humans keep cutting the woods down.
|by Not even kidding||reply 50||05/24/2020|
I had to look up trypophobia and learned that it is a fear of massed small holes. Do you guys who suffer from it have any idea how or why you developed it?
|by Not even kidding||reply 51||05/24/2020|
Trypophobia is believed to be linked to an instinctive fear of disease, diseased things are often full of holes, furniture with woodworm for example.
|by Not even kidding||reply 52||05/24/2020|
I live on acres with thousands of ponderosa pines but the woodpeckers still come to the house It makes more noise to show off for potential mates.
|by Not even kidding||reply 53||05/24/2020|