I've always wondered this about vampires

...exactly how much blood do you think a woman discharges OP?

A bladder full?

The most disgusting thing I've read today.

That's the premise of a great vampire novel, Some of Your Blood, published in 1961. At the time, readers were quite freaked out.

I think there’s always been something homo about vampires. I don’t care that he never gets his guy. It’s all implied.

Came here to say that r4

R5 - not when menstrual blood is on your menu.

Vampires are popular because it never really...makes sense. It's like you're always trying to understand why they need to drink blood.

I’ve always wondered about the physiology of zombies—how can that work?

Vampires need FRESH, circulating, oxygenated human blood! That's the main reason why they don't routinely empty out blood banks, unless desperate. Everyone knows this.

You are really dumb, OP.

Is that what Edward was smelling when Bella stood in front of the fan? Was she knew her cycle?

*Was she ON her cycle?

My apologies, I apparently have no idea what I’m typing.

A lot of clumps and clots come out when a woman has her period. It's not like a lovely stream of raspberry syrup. Maybe it would be like the creamy/chunky peanut butter debate. Some vampires would love it while others just couldn't get past the texture.

OP, maybe vampires don’t like the smell of fish.

Otherwise, it’s a valid point!

This is the only thing I need to know about vampires.

Tell me, OP, how much do you know about the content of menstrual fluid?

[quote] Why can't vampires just eat pussy when a girl is on her period?

Like, eeeeew! Just lost my appetite.

They like the pulsing of the blood as the heart pumps. They like to “edge” it, until the heart stops, like it’s an ejaculation. “Ahhhhhh”.

R13 - not true for every woman. Some have clots and that can be a sign of infertility, inflammation and other issues a lot of the time. Others have very heavy periods (may lead to issues) and others have light and short ones or none (may be concurrent with heavy athletic training like ballerinas, eating disorders, or other conditions). However, most women have fairly normal periods with the last few days registering dry blood at the tail end.

Just thought I should share cuz how the hell else are men on a gay board gonna know?

I once told my card game that my mother wore diapers for urinary incontinence. I explained that she had 7 children and doing so just blows your innards out, and leaves you with problems when you’re elderly. Then they all got really quiet and thoughtful and awkward for a couple minutes.

Because they are not real

Menstrual blood is dead and rotting. Blood from veins is alive.

That said... most recent-vintage movies & TV shows involving modern-day vampires usually imply that their daily drink of choice is now semi-synthetic and manufactured commercially, using proprietary combinations of human blood plasma, cloned/cultured blood, and artificial flavors to make it taste even better than "the real thing" (or at least, real blood from any source besides directly from the veins of a living person). Kind of like comparing Tang to 1970s canned orange juice... Tang was fake but tasty, while canned orange juice was the most vile & disgusting beverage known to mankind (ironically, due entirely to its autoclaved manufacturing process that steamed orange juice out of bitter rinds, and NOT due to the fact that it was in literal cans... "the can" was just an excuse for them to get away with selling cheap-shit OJ extracted from rotting orange peels).

Menstrual blood isn't real blood.

And while we're on the subject, do vampires pee and poop? Would it just come out as bloody pee or diarrhea?

R20 - it is true after a certain age for most women who had a lot of babies and spent a lot of their lives sitting like we do in the US and have for the past 70 years. Women who were physically active (in the distant past) often has 10 to 15 and were still ok. The only women I saw like that already did have calcium deficiencies and other issues after so many pregnancies but I cannot say that I personally saw their vaginas being too distended compared to other patients with few kids.

I mean heck, we are on a gay men's board so I am sure this is of great interest.

Vagina?

R26 - don't discriminate against the gay vampires honey...can you imagine their inner conflict? "There is blood, but it means eating pussy...,what do I do?" "Become a pescatarian?"

R2. Oh, sweetie.

They have a fish allergy.

And they say there are no stupid questions!

Some of Jamie Farr’s best work, R15.

OP, there's more to menstrual blood than just blood. There's also, you know, the lining of the uterus?

DL has far too many posters now who are stuck on stupid. Oy vey.

With this many vampire experts (vampirologists?) around, maybe someone can answer my question:

It's somewhere between weird and illegal for someone who is 50-something to only be interested in teenagers. So why is it okay for the vampires who are 200-somethings?

Or to put it another way: does becoming a vampire make someone a pedophile/ephebophile?

Or is it that authors who've written about vampires have had pedophile/ephebophile interests, to the point where its shown up in enough of the genre that it's now just an assumed vampire trope?

Well shit why didn’t they just keep live victims as pets and let them replenish? Why must their victims die? Why can’t they go to blood banks or drink the blood of animals? I know Anne Rice covered all of these questions but those were questionable vamp lifestyle choices and were frowned upon by the normal murdery vamps.

R32 - it's amazing how much one can learn about female issues like menstruation and childbirth on a gay men's board.

I think you all could really rake in some extra income if you started an advice section for women. Maybe open a separate section in the clubs just for advising women.

..................

Because the flavour doesn’t pair well with buttered toast and chive, R36.

Vampires won't eat pussy because they hate seeing teeth bigger than their own.

Eating clean pussy is like eating fresh, high-grade sushi...so next time you guys eat sushi...just saying.

OP is fake news.