Let’s Be the Worst Kind of Gays

I vote for Trump and don't see anything wrong with that!

‘ Professional Gays’ are the worst

I want to be accepted and respected for exactly for who I am, after all I'm a white man, not some frau or coloured guy.

I’m the group of judgmental queens who stand at a table together looking at their phones—and occasionally around the room with feigned indifference. They secretly hope someone will try to make small talk so they can look at each other and roll their eyes.

I'm the gay who judges you because you don't use high-end bathroom products. If your bathroom products come from the drugstore, I will look down on you.

I’m the gays who brag about monogamy and look down on open relationships, when everyone knows somebody is hooking up on the side.

I’m the gays on Grndr who will only chat guys who are way out of their league when it comes to looks—and then talk about how it’s so difficult to “just meet a nice guy” because gay men are so shallow and obsessed with looks.

I'm the gay who need to do brunch every Sunday with my group of gays while cackling loudly at everything, cackling so loudly that nobody else in the restaurant can hear shit.

I'm the gay who can't stay monogamous so I convince my partner to do an open "relationship".

I’m Davey Wavey.

I’m frau-adjacent gays. All my friends are straight middle class females and it has warped my view of the world.

I'm the gay that acts outrageously and inappropriately in public, to shove my gayness down everyone's throats to prove a point which I haven't quite figured out yet.

I’m the bitchy queen at work. My sneer/elevator eyes combo for anyone I see as inferior is legendary. I also cackle dramatically with my head thrown back like I’m doing a bad Bette Davis impression.

As described by R8:

R14

Was there a solar eclipse that day for brunch??

I’m the gay who only socializes with equally or better looking guys, usually of my own race, because I derive a sense of self worth from my social circle.

R15 you know Bottoms and Bottomless Mimosas... they started when the sun was up.

I’m the gay who doesn’t care about world events or social justice issues unless it involves (and is limited fo) some kind of mixer or fundraiser. It must include one or more of the following: a t-shirt, a photo-op, a chance to advertise/self promote their business for free, or the chance to hook up.

Requests for donations or to sign up as a volunteer go ignored.

Dear God R14, I guess at brunch, gays just morph into one another. It's like looking at one of those Anamorphs book covers.

I'm the mentality of 15 year old mean girls.

I'm a cunt and hate my existence and will drown my sorrows and hookups in meth, coke and booze....ESPECIALLY meth.

My scruff profile says I'm not attracted to fems, fats or trans, but I am at least two of those things.

I’m the bully in our social circle and viciously go after anyone new.

I’m the academia gay. I am so brilliant. I know it all and you know nothing. Your opinions do not matter. I know best. And if I feel you are competition, I will make your life a living hell for trying to take my shine.

I'm DL's favorite psychotherapist and his pretty boy clique. You know you want to be us.

R24 you forgot to add that I’m the eternal student and will be in school as long as possible. I want power but more than that I like telling people I’m in college because it makes me seem younger. By the time I actually graduate with what might possibly be my final degree I’ll have no real world experience and my career will always be mediocre.

I’m the gay who constantly talks about how his ex cheated on him and ruined their perfect relationship—yet we all know he was hooking up on the side the entire time they were together as well. The only difference was bf was the first one to get caught.

I’m the gay that always has to be the center of attention. I am an energy vampire and need constant attention, positive or negative.

I’m the gay who models myself after the psycho women in my life. I don’t realize that they, unfortunately, get a pass... but when I throw a hissy, sassy tantrum in Nordstrom’s or at a weekend pool party with lip gloss on I just look a deranged fruity man-boy with too much Botox & filler. I have an eating disorder, but I only wear Gucci, Cartier and I drive a BMW.

R28 Frankie, is that you?

I’m the gay who watches too many Real Housewives type shows and looks to manufacture unnecessary DRAMA and be offended by everything. And although I am a white boy from the from the suburbs, I talk and act like Shanaynay.

I’m the gay that insists anyone I hook up with must have a big dick, even though mine is tiny.

I'm the sociopathic liar who lies as if lies are dwindling resource.

A+ for your excellent trolling OP

I’m always talking about how I was bullied and ostracized as a kid for being different, yet I’m the most unwelcoming and nasty cunt in gay social circles to anyone new who doesn’t quite meet my high social standards. I go out of my way to make sure you know you don’t fit in here.

I'm the fat gay.

I'm the gay who sneers at other gays who have blue collar jobs. Unless they're hot, then I'll try like hell to fuck them.

I’m the ridiculously effeminate gay who is bitchy and irritable. I’m a label whore and a social climber. Everything that comes out of my mouth is shade. Nobody is safe from my disdain. I look for petty things to bitch about because it gives me life.

I'm OP.

I’m R39 and I have dingleberries.

I’m the self-loathing gay who starts homophobic threads about the worst kind of gays. I pay lip service to diversity and inclusion but really I want everyone to live by standards I set because I’m too closed-minded to think about anything but myself.

I'm the obnoxious social justice gay who always finds something to complain about.

I’m R41 and I’ve been identified & “read” in this thread. I’m pissed!

Those obnoxious social justice gays are such a problem. I wish they would just sit down and shut up instead of fighting for our civil rights. How obnoxious.

I'm a grown man whose tastes in music and tv shows is like that of a teenage girl. I'm 38 and Ariana Grande's #1 fan! Oh, did you see the CW last night? Girrrlll!

R-29 said "fruity man-boy."

I'm the "good friend" gay. Most of the time, we have fun and a good time. I habe my boyfriend, whoI live with in the country. I've gained weight. Alot of weight. I only call when I'm drunk, with my boyfriend at the bar and want you to join. When you do, he's loud, obnoxious, over flirty with everyone, nasty, and rude. He talks down to you and his boyfriend, who he treats like garbage. He thinks he will be able to "find you someone" in said bar because he "doesn't want you to die alone."

I'm the 21 one year old label whore with makeup on, who weighs 6 pounds, laughing at anyone over 60. I don't realize that I should be kissing their asses because they paved the way for me to be my queeny self, sashying down the street, and NOT getting hit with a bat. The Stonewall is just an ugly bar that I would never go in. I hardly ever look up from my phone because I'm on all the dating sights...

I’m the grammar book R47 never picked up or the Chardonnay he’s never put down.

I'm r48. I'm sad and lonely and the only thing that brings me joy is hawkishly looking for mundane grammar errors that normal people will just gloss over, to fill my sad desperate hours. I'm such a loser.

I’m R49 and also R47 I’m an idiot Cunt.

I'm r50 and I'm still sad and lonely. I'm going to go look for more mundane grammar errors on a shittily formatted forum, where people write in a conversational informal style, as if I were reviewing a doctoral thesis or an article that was going to be published. Yes, I'm THAT much of a total fucking loser.

I'm aaron schock

[quote] Let’s Be the Worst Kind of Gays

We're here at the DL. That qualifies us right there.

I’m R51 and I’m a bitter, fat, old cocksucker.

I'm a Disney gay.

Im the aforementioned fat old gay man who doesnt give a flying fuck what the "beautiful" people think when I invade their personal spaces. I wade in,plop myself down and truly am amused by the shade and smirks . You see ,I was once one of them and I know that one day they will be me . So I eat that double cheeseburger while sucking down vodkas and tonics , I also know Ive had a rich and varied life and way more money than they do .

I’m the pissy troll who cockblocks any action in the sauna or steam room. Obviously no one is interested in me, but instead of getting the hint and leaving,I stay put, essentially saying to the other two guys:

If Sméagol gets none, you don’t gets none either!

This is usually followed by a three hour nude calisthenics or aerobics routine until everyone gives up and leaves,

I'm the gay who is still trying to please mommy and daddy, by not being like the rest of "them". I also typically vote republican.

Let's be 2 very wealthy 70+ married lawyers with multiple residences, bad hair pieces, year-round tans, rich fag hag friends, saggy pecs and pancake asses and a weakness for booze and sometimes pot and poppers with that occasional rent men or summer intern at the firm.

I'm the religious gay who lectures every other gay on how to behave so as not to offend straight people. I also oppose gay marriage and believe children should only have a mother and father.

At 2AM I'll be in a park sucking anonymous cock.

I'm the Republican politician!

Threaten to out me, and I'll have you killed!

I'm Bryan Singer.

[quote] I'm the gay who need to do brunch every Sunday

You could have put the period right there and you would have said the same thing.

[post redacted because linking to dailymail.co.uk clearly indicates that the poster is either a troll or an idiot (probably both, honestly.) Our advice is that you just ignore this poster but whatever you do, don't click on any link to this putrid rag.]

I'm the whore who reply "life is a buffet" when the eldergays try to tell me to take care of myself. Lucky me, I won't grow old to become one of them.

I am my gay BF. Clueless about popular culture, art, science or anything that would detract from his fruit fly attention span. Forever single, boring as shit, things he’s witty because he insults people. Doesn’t realize his looks will fad and he’ll become invisible in 3.2.1...

I'm the gay who mistakes cruelty and insults for wit. I also can't stand to see other gays happy so I'll find anything I can to insult what makes them happy. And of course I feel it's my duty to tell everyone what I think because my unsolicited opinion is very important.

R67 cool post, bitch. Hehehehe

This thread should have been closed after R1.

Not only is that the worst kind of gay it is the worst kind of person.

I'm the homocon who defends an anti-gay Christian's rants about us as their religious beliefs. I will, however, scream at you for daring to say anything about my political beliefs or Trump.

I’m the late-middle-aged gay who takes it upon himself to “mentor” younger members of the community. I’m trading on my history as a community volunteer (community center, Pride, local theater, it doesn’t matter) or hot guy, neither of which are active considerations anymore, but my “leadership” means I get to spend time with fresh meat and delude myself into thinking I could get it.

I'm the attention-starved instatwink with fake eyebrows, a bad nosejob and overblown fish lips. Coronavirus thwarted my plans of getting ass implants next. Fuck coronavirus!

[quote] I'm the attention-starved instatwink with fake eyebrows, a bad nosejob and overblown fish lips. Coronavirus thwarted my plans of getting ass implants next. Fuck coronavirus!

You're so masc!

I’m the gays that think narcissism and being introspective/intellectual are the same thing.

Some of these gay guys on social media are so self absorbed and emotionally overwrought and needy that just their page is exhausting. It’s no wonder they are single. However, according to them they know they deserve a man who puts them on a pedestal and doesn’t make them compromise who they are, etc

I'm the status queen who bought the big old Victorian mansion he can't afford, keeps it at 55* and rents out every room to transient gays (whom he has sex with occasionally).

R71 I see that in straight men too unfortunately

Lol .. this is funny as fuck

I'm the trans-obsessed SJW gay who goes nuclear over other gays posting "No fats, no femmes" on their "triggering" hook-up app ads, who has never dated a fat guy, a trans, or a guy nellier than himself, and never will!

I'm the "life is a banquet" whore who indulges in unprotected sex, gets HIV and then becomes "Poz positive", lashing out at anyone who doesn't want to have sex with me due to my status since it wasn't my fault in the first place. You're just ignorant!

Oh, r79, you just described every second gay I know and I know a lot of gays!

I’m the gay who is still closeted in his early 30’s and hates himself so much that he drinks and drugs himself 24/7 to numb the misery and self-loathing.

R80, really? I know a handful who are like this but I find it so amusing they become mad at people for not wanting to have sex with them. Even though they totally could have avoided sleeping around and becoming POZ in the first place.

I'm the beyond needy gay that constantly crosses the line flirting with straight dick, making everyone around uncomfortable and perpetuating the notion amongst straight guys( no matter how fat or ugly) all gays want their dicks.

I'm the groce STD laden pool party in someones backyard.

I'm the destination wedding that costs the guests a bloody fortune to attend, with a list of instructions about EXACTLY what is expected of each and every guest at every minute over the four day celebration: what to wear, when to change, when to be at a certain place, what you are allowed to eat, when you will retire for the night, what time to get up in the morning, when to shit, etc.

It's going to be the most fun you've ever had!

I'm not only spending my 401K on Insta-Hos and porn stars, I am firmly convinced that the entire Datalounge shares my obsession! Here, look at this narcissistic hottie!

Yes, r85, WHET to Crunch & Bee, or whatever the fuck those two twits were called?

Their destination wedding with the strict attire demands was the craziest thing I've ever seen gays do, and like all of us, I seen some crazy gay shit!

And they had several magazine profiles where all they did was brag about their trips around the world and their material possessions, r87. Totally insufferable.

What about these two? Then they only lasted two years....

They were only married for two years? They weren't even trying...well, trying my nerves!

I knew that legalizing gay marriage would highlight the grifters and loons!

It has!

I'm the jaded gay who's bitter I couldn't get my relationship validated in the 80's so now I sneer at all the married gays or couples in monogamous relationships and tell them they are all just trying to be hetero-normative and the only relationships that work are open ones. I am bitter I cant have what they have and been through several open relationships and still counting.

R90 here’s the breakup details. They probably spent more time getting married than being married lol

r91 needs to give it a rest and quit hating just cause we laugh at your destination wedding write up (take down) in Vogue.

Say hi to Shark!

I'm the only Asian gay guy in a group of all white gay friends. I am self-loathing and consider myself an honorary white. I fiercely guard my status as the only minority in the group by viciously tearing down any other Asian or Black person who makes his way into the group.

I constantly remind my friends of the bad qualities of what I refer to as 'most Asian guys' and point out I am 'not like them' just to make sure none of them will try to date any other Asians. I am also in love with the hunkiest guy in the group but settled for a 7 just so I could be included in the circle.

From Eric "GoFund my parents to attend my 4 Gay Weddings"

"And as I’m excitedly rediscovering myself, I have no reason not to be. Thank you everyone for your concern, unless you’re just being nosey- then fuck you. 😉 . My overall message: get a dog. They’ll never let you down."

Wow, he manages to be nasty, faux spiritual, and a true assassin (get a dog not a shitty husband like mine!) all in these few lines. He breezily claims the ex "has been out of his life a very long time", but they'd only been married barely a few years?! Ah, ok. I'm surprised he had time to get the thank you cards out first!

I’m the gay that insists that his sexual orientation be respected—yet constantly flirts with straight guys who are accepting of him and insist they are secretly bi/gay/curious.

^insists

R93 needs to get over his bitterness towards gays who are not in open relationships. We are not all married you jaded queen. We just dont want to have sex with you.

Im the gay who says he's not into the gay scene, gay bars and hates pride. All my friends are straight because gay ones are too judgmental of me. I then come to gay boards like the DL to post all about it.

r98! Queen! Just stop. You don't know me. I'm not in some fantasy "open relationship" you keep projecting on everyone. Hon, let me say it nicely, no one is jealous of your life! Just go live it, nobody cares.

I’m the trashy gays (that look like extras from a gay Mad Max porn parody) who go to family restaurants and make sure everything they say is LOUD and a crass sexual comment innuendo.

When we are asked to not be so loud, that we are disturbing other patrons, we flip the fuck out go on a major tirade about how this restaurant is homophobic, etc. The manager is called and meals are comped to keep the situation from becoming something that it never was.

Im the queen who says "you don't know me" like some bad Jerry Springer episode every time he is triggered by truth that hits too close to home.

This thread in particular was quite the circle-jerk for the type of gay R99 described:

I'm the gay that marries the insecure fat girl as an unwitting beard because I have position in the church and have been the Youth Choir Director taking them to Southeast Methodist Coral finals the last 7 yrs in a row.

R92---That guy looks so Andy Cohen adjacent!

Weddings are special days for special people, thanks for making ours special with your money!

And you know their wedding registry was nothing but the most expensive of gifts—because it’s our special day! And anyone who gave a simple gift probably got an email asking if they were “doing ok financially“ lol

I'm a self loather who calls other gays the worst. THE WORST!

Yes, because all gays are beyond reproach. Any criticism must be some form of homophobia, rather than actual identified bad behavior.

I am the gay that loves to say "WE are whores" when we are in a group because all my life has been as a whore and I cant fathom that some gay men have normal relationships without extreme promiscuity being a mantra beforehand.

I'm the functioning alcoholic who spends every night at the same gay bar with the same functioning alcoholics, sneering at anyone who's not in my clique for having the audacity to walk into the bar.

I'm straight (yeah I've sucked a few ducks and 4njiy letting guys suck mine) and all my friends are gay until I hit forty and I marry a women. Now I'm just friends with you guys on FB where you can follow my new entirely straight life.

[quote] I'm the only Asian gay guy in a group of all white gay friends.

And I'm probably ugly as fuck too. I'm in the group as a "sympathy" gesture.

I'm one of those gays who refers to myself and my group of gay friends as "girls". We're all girls, y'all!

I love to back stab gays. l like to badmouth them by claiming they are too unprofessional by being too gay.

At least I eat my escorts' shit behind closed doors.

I'm Senatrice Graham.

I'm a fading beauty. I can still pick up decent guys, but they don't stick around as I radiate intense resentment that they're not the 9s and 10s I used to get and think I still should.

I’m the only gay in the office. If another gay is hired I will go out of my way to ignore him, trash talk him and make his life a living hell.

I’m one of those gays that moved to the suburbs… cause I’m not into the scene anymore. Im so happy! Life is laid back and easy. Secretly I’m ready to poke my fucking eyes out because I’m bored out of my fucking mind.

I’m the totally smug and complete fucking asshole aka nate berkus that judges the hell out of everyone that isnt me.

Im the severely obese middle-age guy that sits in his car eating fast food day after day and crying because I don’t understand why 10 and 12’s don’t like me.

[quote]I’m the Queen who shows up at a gay bar on stripper night with three chubby, loud, obnoxious Fag Hags.

This sounds like something from 1998. If only gay problems these days consisted of too many fag hags in gay bars. Gay bars barely exist these days, while the few gay spaces that are left are being taken over by trannies and ugly NBs.

I'm the lesbian who infiltrates and monopolizes a gay man's life, becoming his faux frau. I will passive-aggressively destroy any attempt he makes at a relationship. He lists me as his emergency contact, and I'm in his will.

Im Christoffer Justyn Michael .. My family knows me as Chris. No one knows why I made up this dumb fucking jack ass name.

My name is Christina McMillan. I could go by Tina or Christie… But I’m a lesbian so I choose to go by Teak or CT

I'm the single closeted middle aged gay. I've been fat my entire life as a defense against having to get married to a woman but also as a way to make sure I never try to date other men because I have so much body shame.

I've spent my life as the family caregiver and that used to be enough for me, but now at the age of 50 I've seen that my life has passed me by and any chance of being able to have a good life has long passed.

So I sit at home ruminating on my lost opportunities slowly becoming bitter towards my parent and being envious of my siblings for the lives they have.

^ And post on DL

So many people in this thread are just describing the exes who dumped them.

I'm Brandon Straka.

Thread closed.

R123 I’m Sebastian Jeffrey .: My family knows me as Joe

Im Mike Jones.. I have no gay friends because I refuse to make up a fantasy name for myself. Friends say I should go by Myke.. Since all the gays are doing it.

We;re the DL gays who insist pornography and prostitution are perfectly fine career choices for young men.

Obviously, we will never be high school guidance counselors.

R121 is more or less correct. Boots and Saddles was shut down for non-payment of taxes a few years ago. It had become a drag entertainment bar with hordes of young women attending from New Jersey and Long Island. I wonder how many of the few remaining bars in the West Village will survive the coronavirus shutdown.

I'm the humble brag gay who keeps talking about his husband, complaining about some adorable little thing of domestic bliss that hubby does.

I'm the former pass around pig bottom who is now married and living in the suburbs, who has "lost touch" with his former friends because everyone 'grows up' and who has now taken on a heteronormative role in his marriage by cooking, decorating, joining the PTA, and going to book club with the girls, thus proving that you can turn a whore into a housewife.

Should I feel bad that I freaking LOVE this thread?

R135 Me too I’ve never laughed so hard in my life because it’s all 100% true!

I’m the masc for masc jock that changes my name from John to Shark, or Bee or Hyena.

Im the sad old thing who falls in love with each and every man who speaks to me. Even the clerk at the 7-11 (who is just being nice because he feels sorry for me) . I havent had a lover since 1984 but hey, hope springs eternal ! The delivery guys are thrilled covid popped up because now they can just leave my stuff on the stoop and not have to extricate themselves from my rambling,desperate attempts at conversation.

Sup bro buddy dude buddy bro sup sup sup.. Enough of this crap. We know you suck dick stop the charade.

I'm the "My HUSband, my HUSband, my HUSband!" queen on social media.

We get it, Mary, you have a HUSband!

R140 Might you be talking about Nate Berkus?

I'm the one who thinks every man who speaks to him is hitting on him and if you're not attractive he'll act like a total bitch and dismiss you.

Bitch, I just want you to move your ass so I can get another drink at the bar, I don't want to fuck you!

Im the 60 yr old that still wears his college sweatshirt.

I am Brad, Doug, Mike, and Ed who, since coming out of the closet, are now Bradley, Douglas, Michael and Edward. You will be quickly corrected and hissed at if you dare refer to them by their "dead" names.

I’m the bitchy male flight attendant gay. Remember me? If you thought I was bitchy BEFORE coronavirus, just wait till we meet again POST coronavirus.

I'm the gay with 56 tank tops, 47 pairs of blue jeans and 26 pairs of white tennis shoes.

I'm the gay who was gorgeous in his youth but now that I'm hitting middle age, I don't get the attention I used to get, and there's a whole new generation of gays who are ten - fifteen years younger than me who are the It Boys now. I am going to have a nervous breakdown. My entire existence has been based on my looks and hotness and now that it's going away, I'm going mental.

R147 Time to move to Wilton Manors

"Im the 60 yr old that still wears his college sweatshirt. "

Honey, if you're sixty years old and your clothes from forty years ago still fit, you get to show it off now and then.

I’m the horse-hung gurlina who throws away the potential to become King of the Gays by refusing to top or take any interest in my pathetically unused, third arm

Im the racist as fuck latino gay community

I'm a white gay who moves to the city to find tolerance, love and dick all while I make sure to have a group of 10 exclusively white gay friends and look exactly like them while I separate myself off from those "others" that I judge while knowing nothing about them at all.

I'm the queer, yes I'm just a homosexual man, but I identify as " queer" because using slur is so empowering

I’m the guy with no dick that has an ego the size of Antarctica.

I'm the balding paunchy 45 year old who still wears trendy tight-fitting outfits that are meant for 21 year olds.

I do not own a pair of pants that extends past my ankle.

I'm a trans man who identifies as a gay man. WHY WON'T YOU HAVE SEX WITH MY MAN VAGINA?

I'm the unattractive overweight guy who lives with my elderly parents and has not had sex since the first Bush administration.

Yet I will appear on every Insta-Ho thread to comment "Yuck! Look at how lopsided his left nipple is! Pass!"

R156 barf

Queen Asian and Latino mafia that run around bars and clubs giggling like middle schoolers

I'm the over the hill nightclub promoter past his sell by date who is desperate remain cool and cutting edge. I resort to withering dismissive bitchery about everything since (year).

I'm getting old, apparently that make me " the worst kind of gay"

I'm a datalounger.

Is R161 dead yet?

I’ll admit it: The scary and sad thing is that I can relate to some of these scenarios in this thread.😭

[quote]I'm the lesbian who infiltrates and monopolizes a gay man's life, becoming his faux frau. I will passive-aggressively destroy any attempt he makes at a relationship. He lists me as his emergency contact, and I'm in his will.

Does this really happen?

I’m the coward who got married to a woman and had kids, then decided to finally come out in my 30’s. Because I want to make up for lost time, I dumped the wife, abandoned the kids and now I’m whoring around and looking like a fool trying to chase 20-somethings.

R166, it wouldn't be in their 30s, it would be in their 40s or 50s. I see these kind of people all the time on Grindr or Scruff.

Yes it does, r165. Some lesbians get very possessive of their gay BFFs.

Im the Brazilian pop in LA. I’m obnoxious as hell and if you don’t watch out I’ll steal everything you own

R143, reminds me to get out my Princeton University sweatshirt. I've lost 60 lbs.

Well, smell R170

She’s an Ivy Girl.

Lol r 170 .. I went to a Jewish Ivy. Washington University in St. Louis. Does that count?

I'm Dataloungers on a feeding frenzy when given the opportunity to be judgmental.

Im not like most gays.. yawn!

I’m the 50 year old who can’t keep up with fashion and still wears Hollister and Abercrombie thinking it makes me look hip. In reality, my friends laugh behind my back.

I'm the thirtysomething gay who thinks he can still pass for 23.

Hahaha!

I call myself daddy even though Im 86. More like crypt keeper

We're the Philly gays who are one generation removed from white trash on the North Shore, but to hear us talk you'd think we were Main Line heiresses.

I’m the gay in their 50s wearing super tight and worn 501s and no underwear. I think I still look bitchin.

I'm the wide eye'd, too-easily-impressed Gay. I've just returned from my first circuit party ever! ever! I made so many great new life long friends in Miami and participated in so many molly infused dance floor group hugs, I'm already planning for Pensacola Memorial Day! I just loooved everybody!

I'm the gay who was a quiet, teenage geek with glasses. You know, that late bloomer who played an "uncool" band instrument, was good at physics but not at sports, and was ignored by the rest of you judgmental queens back in high school and college because although I wasn't ugly, I wasn't considered "hot". Having failed two suicide attempts as a high-school freshman, I kept to myself and focused on my studies so I could hopefully get into Juilliard on scholarship and GTFO out of craptown forever. I admit to having jerked off frequently to the thought of making it with you even though you wouldn't give me the time of day; after all, I had to save my sanity somehow.

As an adult, everything changed seemingly overnight when I went through a sort of metamorphosis. Suddenly, I became the "hot" top all you single and horny gays were chasing. I looked years younger than my age, had a toned body, and was packing a nice cock. But I never experienced a threeway or went through a "slut" phase. I was too busy. I was soloing with orchestras and won auditions around the globe. My focused work ethic yielded wealth, fame and respect in my field, and a privileged lifestyle that far exceeded even my own expectations.

I still see myself (my inner self) as that awkward geek; it's always with me even many years later.

Epilogue: I actually married a beautiful guy whose story is similar; been together now nearly twelve years. xox

R181 That's truly inspiring. Nobody is happier for you than us. But WTF does have to do with this thread? The thread is about vapid gays and their practices. Nothing about your story is vapid.

How does soloing with orchestras make one fantastically wealthy?

R182 I figured it was guaranteed to annoy and trigger some because DL is renowned for its bitter, cynical, and judgmental queens waiting to tear up any kind of success story. I usually never post because I see it all the time here.

R183 Depends on the orchestra, but you'd be surprised.

R184 My post (R182) was tongue in cheek . I'm happy when life works out for the deserving.

Yes R165, ironically I know a lesbian who is doing that to a rich straight woman I work for. I didn't realize this was a thing but the description is exactly the same. She is even in her will. And guess who she has chosen to co-habitat with during quarantine. And yes, she sabotages the relationships by getting way too involved even to the point of writhing back to her dates for her through dating apps.

I am the conservative Realtor adjacent gay who makes money in the industry without being a lowly Realtor. I throw parties all the time to snare new clients and embed myself into the local gay community. Today I am pissed as hell that I cant through my annual pride party because of Corona. I posted picks of my empty backyard today on Facebook so I can humble brag about the party I didn't have.

R140 - let's talk about my husBEAR, then.

I'm the over-the-top queen who has to FLIT AND FLY into any establishment so as to get as MUCH attention as possible, then complain that people stare at me or judge me.

Why won’t these Negroes and Hispanics move out of this cesspool of a neighborhood so I can move in and gentrify it with expensive McCondos, bistros and pretentious coffee houses?

R188 Husbear. Give me a break- You mean fat pig?

I’m the try-hard middle aged gay who loves awful dance music and even worse, thinks Cardi B is talented (well, the kids like her, right?)

I’m also unabashedly cutesy: I refer to to Rhinanna as “RiRi” and Kristen Dunst as “KiKi” and gossip is “tea.”

Come to think of it, I just MIGHT be a stealth Frau!

I'm the big fish in a small pond gay. I'm King shit among my friends and local community and I reign with an iron fist.

I'll move to a much larger city and carry on as I did back home, however I will be eaten alive by those big city gays. They've seen dozens like me pass through and I'm nothing special no matter what I believe.

I will eventually move back to my small city and rule the roost with a dismissive shrug of those big city gays and pretend I was never desperate to be part of their clique.

I'm the brunch table filled with white gays at the local hot restaurant in town. Even though there isn't a gay of color within 20 miles of this place, there are more eye rolls, neck bobs, finger snaps, gurl pleases, child pleases, and bitch pleases, than a 1970s episode of Good Times.

I'm the handsome, well-built gay on social media bemoaning the fact that I can't get a date while simultaneously deflecting anyone's attempts at contact. See, I'm just like you. Now, follow my feed.

R193 Where did he move from? Denver to LA... Kansas City to NYC?

I'm the not-as-described, no recip cocksucker from online, who doesn't notice that my two bichon frise's that are barricaded in the kitchen haven't stopped barking since you walked in the door.

I'm the incredibly good-looking and super-fit 20 something who came out at 14 to understanding parents, and I just wish all those really old guys would stay home. I think bars are for young people, not those old guys who look like they've been around for ever.

I'm the overweight guy who got married and voted Republican who finally came out later in life, got divorced (the kids were grown), and entered the gay scene. I think I deserve guys who are super hot even though I'm not. I'm obsessed with my weight and looking perfect. I lose a bunch of weight, go to the gym, and get really fit. I even participate in triathlons. Unfortunately, my face looked better with a bit of weight. Now all my facial features, including my huge, bulbous nose, don't really fit anymore and I look gaunt. I have an extremely fit body, but now I'm a classic butterface. I still vote Republican and consider myself "conservative" but I'm bitter I can't score any hot guys even though I changed by body around. In fact, I got hotter guys when I was considered a bear.

I'm the gay guy who stayed so deep in the closet he married a woman in his 20s, but now in his late 40s or 50s was one of the very first gays to legally marry a guy. Now I swan around like I've always been part of the movement and a member of the "community" as I never lifted a finger during the AIDS crisis, and probably still vote Republican. It's always the way.

R200, do gays who get married like that still vote Republican? Kind of disturbing to think about that level of cognitive dissonance.

"We're the Philly gays who are one generation removed from white trash on the North Shore, but to hear us talk you'd think we were Main Line heiresses."

And we're the Philly queens only a couple of years removed from our family's 16 foot wide air light in Tacony, or Mayfair, or Somerton, yet we pretend we're doyennes of Haverford, Bryn Mawr or Swarthmore. We will be totally mortified if our humble origins are ever found out. You will never hear such hissing or spitting.

I’m oversexed.

I'm the socially awkward, unattractive Gay that doesn't want to do anything about my situation but constantly text out of my league, hot guys on SCRUFF with no pic or bio of my own, expecting a positive result at some point.

I'm James Charles, sucking off clout-chasing 'str8' guys.

Jealous, bitches?

R205, why the fuck do some gays think having a womanly ass is attractive? So gross

James Charles looks like an Asian woman.

R206 They think they are attractive to straight guy? Maybe they are, i don't know.

Yes, I'm sure loads of straight men are obsessed with James Charles's ass.

WAY more men are obsessed with James Charles's ass than yours R209 . No Im not JC but I also realize plenty of "straight" guys would fuck an ass like that in a nano second.

Some of us can't help liking a womanly ass. Maybe it's a vestigial attraction from wanting to breed.

I'm the once super militant queer who marched, yelled and fought for equality in the 70s but when AIDS started killing gay men in the 80s I got married to a woman, had kids and moved to the suburbs and dropped off the radar. I will once again identify as gay in the early 2000s even though I've never had a LTR with another man and have no intention of leaving my wife. I also support conversion therapy for children and appose any sex education that talks about homosexuality.

Never heard of someone like that, r212. Can you name one?

R213 he was once Glad To Be Gay.

I am the gay guy who didn't care about how slutty I was until I got AIDS and ended up in the hospital. Why get tested if I feel fine? We all make mistakes right? I have already forgiven myself. Stop shaming me.

Surprised by my diagnosis, I immediately applied for disability and SSI so I never have to work another day in my life. five years later, that two week stay really paid off. I party almost every night with my box wine, weed and a line or two of coke. Poor me, I am too damaged to ever go back to work even though I was offered a good job. but I sure have the energy to hit the gym sauna every other day, higher male hustlers when my partner thinks I am just hanging out with friends at the bar. I am also bitter, manipulative and nasty. None of this is my fault. I don't understand why I keep losing friends.

Ooph! This was a fun thread until R215 showed up. However, you speak the truth.

I’m American society. I’ve made R215 think he was a worthless faggot piece of shit everyday of his life since we first spotted him groovin’ with a microphone to some gay Diva song. I support the lack of decent, affordable healthcare and shame of men, specifically, having mental health issues that further pushed him down this path. It doesn’t take a village, so pull yourself up by your bootstraps cause... Baby, you were born this way!

R217 making excuses again for his self involved always the victim decision process. To bad the rest of us gay MEN (as in grown ups) got through American society without being a hot mess such as yourself. You are the word kind of gay, always blaming others for the shitty life you created.

I’m the Santorum that runs out of my prolapsed anus to such an extent that I have to wear tampons.

[quote]... higher male hustlers

Oh, DEAR!

Not unless you're giving them more coke!

R179 = Terry Savage

Dan Savage, Andrew Sullivan, and Gore Vidal —pop culture intellectuals than become de facto “authorities” on anything gay for mainstream media.

Sullivan, even Savage I can understand. But what's your beef with Vidal?

I'm the posters who start off-theme discussions on Let's Be threads.

I’m the gay guy that uses three names because I’m a fucking pretentious asshole social climber that has to follow every trend known to man.

I'm the gay that goes on threads describing the worst kind of gays and describe myself to a T.

I’m R226 and I was pegged to a T in a prior post in this thread.

I am the MOST WOKE LGBTQIA+ ever whose single contribution to society is deciding who does and who does NOT have enough "friends of color" and reminding everyone STERNLY that we say "differently abled" and not "person with a disability I will never have anything else to add, yet see myself as indispensable!

I am T.R. Knight, asshole to everyone on set alongside my snob gal friend and then play victim to gain sympathy and a raise. You'll notice I have never worked again so I got away with nothing.

I am the gay guy who thinks it cute or clever to change my last name to a descriptive like Bobby Trendy or Corey Fabulous. QUEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEN!

I’m the queen who thinks it’s cool to twerk in social media videos or on the dance floor even though I’m 30 or older and look foolish as fuck

I'm the gay you invite into your home only for me to comment that "those curtains are a brave choice!" and ask "when are you replacing those bathroom tiles?".

You called R231?

I'm the food snob gay who, when invited to your home for dinner, will ridicule and complain through the entire meal. I've thrown many lavish dinner parties and my friends rave about my cooking, but the cooking was actually done by my niece who I routinely stiff on the money I promise her.

Eldergays- are there really people like the one described in R212?

Im the gay that moved to LA to be a ‘star’ Its been 15 years now and well.. nothing. I have no skills or job history other than working as a receptionist. Maybe Ill sell real estate.

R233---That guy didn't twerk OR fall into the pool! Very disappointing.

I'm the 50 years + gay who thinks it's appropriate to send pictures of myself getting fisted and covered in cum on scruff and grindr to people who've ignored my 1000 previous messages. If they ignored me the first 1000 times, now will be the one that changes it all!!!

I’m a stylish retail queen whose entire identity depends on my employee discount and maintaining a thin veneer of fabulousness. I never hook up because I live w my parents—and I tell people I’m in college, but really I’m just taking 1 course a semester at the local junior college to keep my parents from charging me rent.

I'm the muscle gay with "Only God can judge me" written in Mandarin on my left pec and a koi carp on my right biceps. Yeah, I know I say "No Asians" on my Grindr, but it's not a prejudice, just a preference, okay?

I'm the muscle gay with a navel tattoo that makes me look really masc. Masc for masc, yo!

I’m the gay in the slim fit suit and no socks who works in development for a non-profit no one’s heard of. At social functions, I can’t stop scanning the room looking for someone better to talk to than you.

I’m the queen who regularly gets terrible tribal tats because I think it makes me looks edgy/masc. My tattoo artist isn’t really giving me authentic tribal tats, he’s just charging me big bucks to continually add thick lines and swirlies. My body looks like the black ink version of a Candy Land game board. They look so good with my barb wire bicep tat.

I’m the white gay man who is into Asians or blacks or Hispanics who thinks that my sexual fetish for the above gives me a pass to say what I please about said groups. It also makes me a pain to hang out with because I think that I know more about their cultures than they do.

I’m Mark, the slut who is dead now from all that sleeping around.

[quote]and reminding everyone STERNLY that we say "differently abled"

This was an inspired characterization. 😅 I am on several disability forums and nobody uses "differently abled." We refer to ourselves as disabled, but some dumbass MOST WOKE LBGTQIA will show up every month or two to tell us otherwise.

[quote]I'm the muscle gay with a navel tattoo that makes me look really masc. Masc for masc, yo!

Naval or navel? It makes a big difference in how I visualize you, Masc 4 Masc.

I'm the gay who routinely ridicules the one fat guy in our group. I secretly loath him for eating what he wants and enjoying life while I starve myself so I can get laid as often as possible. I'll tell him he'll be dead of a heart attack, or stroke or diabetes but I won't live long enough to see that because the multiple STDs I've accumulated over the decades is slowly killing me.

I’m R244 the woke black gay who hookups with said white gay and critiques him for his sexual preferences, accusing him of fetishizing race. Don’t you dare fucking ask me why I only hookup with white guys and have/will never hookup with a fellow black gay. Don’t even!

I’m r249 and my mother is a whore.

I’m R250 and I still won’t fuck Blacks or Asians or Latinos.

I'm the 40 yr old who still talks like a teenaged girl.

"Like, OMG, it was so cringey."

"We were like, OMG, like, totes adorbs"

R252 Only fat girls say ‘totes adorbs’ . It’s right up there with cool beans and awesome sauce.

I'm the kind of gay that proves that most of the good tastemakers died during the AIDS crisis--I only listen to Lizzo and Demi Lovato.

R118 I'm the 50 something y/o gay hairdresser living in a rent controlled apartment in the Village. I've never missed a circuit party and every year I've had a share in the Pines with my fabulous circle of friends. We hate on all the gaylings who ignore us but save our strongest venom for gays the same age who didn't come to NYC to live in a shitty apartment or had enough sense to leave NY when they met their future husband in their early 30's and decamped for a more serene life in the exurbs.

R255 is a petty bitch living in the suburbs. She’s about to take R118 outside.

I'm the handsome gay guy pushing 40 who works in real estate, doesn't sell very much, always drives a new BMW, and bums around Europe for a month each year trying to find myself through travel. I have wealthy parents who are my safety net between sales and I spend most of my free time during the day at Equinox or exploring various forms of self care. I still attract attention but am too self absorbed and oblivious to notice or realize that the ship is about to sail on having a relationship any day now. I'll soon learn my dad is leaving my inheritance to his second wife.

^^^^BTW, absolutely NOT Your Millennial Friend^^^^^

I'm YASSSSSSSS QUEEN!

I’m the many gays who go their whole lives not knowing they have some degree of Histrionic Personality Disorder.

[quote]koi carp

Much like ahi tuna

I'm the gay that constantly mocks people's decor when watching a YouTube clip of the news or an interview. I don't care that they're far more accomplished than I'll ever be. I'll just sit here in my rent-controlled broom closet that hasn't had any improvements since the 1930's and pass judgment.

I'm probably fat, slovenly and sit in my graying tightie whities while I brush potato chip crumbs off my fat, hairy belly. I probably also criticize everyone's appearance by pointing out the least relevant thing e.g. his eyes area 1 mm too close to each other, her nostrils are too wide, he has love handles (this to a perfectly proportioned specimen). Also, I haven't brushed my teeth in four days and lost track of when the last time I actually showered.

R262 That was very descriptive and specific. Neighbor of yours!

R263 lol. Nope, just a very fertile imagination.

I'm the weak as fuck gay, that broke up with his muscle-masc boyfriend years ago but still fucks around with him at every chance. Feels guilty about it, swears it will never happen again( until the next time he texts) because it prevents them from moving on. OK! It's me! and he just left again! GAAAAAWD, I'm so pathetic!

I’m the bored as fuck gay in the burbs. I moved out here because that’s what you’re ‘supposed‘ to do when you age. I fooled myself into thinking Id want to yard and house full of rooms Id dont use. I plan on moving back into the city the first chance I get

I'm the queen who, in the first five minutes of meeting you, attempts to determine your educational background, your financial status, your career status and where you live in an attempt to see if you're worthy of my time or not.

R267 You must be talking about the men in DC

r268 I was thinking NYC but DC also qualifies!

Sounds like L.A. - but it would have do include inquiring about industry connections that might be helpful.

I’m the gay that lets “straight” guys fuck me and use me all the time. They come over strictly to fuck and they leave as soon as they’re done. I wake up every morning feeling like my spirit has been broken.

R271 Justin Beiber

i'm secret visits to the free clinic where i sign in as "john smith" and get tested for stds that i may have been exposed to when i cheated on my husband after downloading grindr on my work phone, as hubby doesn't have access to that phone ("because it's only for work!!!!! i can't give you that password!!!!!!")

Admit it r262, you don't know any gay like that, nor have you ever met any gay like that, but your whole life hinges on their existence, because otherwise you won't have anyone to feel superior over and since you obsess over fat gays, or NYC gays just living their lives you've decided to create a fictional strawman you present as everything you hate.

You are likely one of the many suburban, anti-NYC fetishists on this thread, or more likely all of them.

That would be West Hollywood R 267. LA gays are different but once you get into that area its all about how much money you have, do you look good, can you be my daddy, help my career as a model etc. I guess because it's right next to Beverly Hills the attitude spills over.