Things found in gay men's apartments

Earrings

Caftans

lmao! examples of 'vulgar" black and white photography?

Madame Alexander dolls

Under the age of 50, gay men's apartments are identical to straights' and bis' pads. Everything is tribal and generational and class based, with little specificity for sexual orientation.

Track Lighting, all gay men have track lighting.

Lady Gaga fan art posing as Fine Art.

A half-full bottle of Midori. A dusty bottle of Drakkar Noir. A Playbill.

Lladro figurines.

Drakkar Noir was not a gay only frag.

Those 80's Woman prints. I don't remember what they call them here, Nader or Nadlers or something.

Do you people live in Pigeon Forge or Gatlinburg?

Send in your gay card, R10.

Poppers, meth, Xanax, lube, and toys.

I bought a place that had track lighting in the kitchen (eeek!) and then I found out the gay guy who works at the library rented the place before I bought it.

Big surprise.

The first thing I did was get rid of the track lighting.

Things found in elder gay apartments

Diana Ross CDs

Aramis Cologne

A set of easily washable bed linens

Eye Cream

Self Tanner

Spanx

Low lighting in bedroom

Just for Men Beard and Moustache

Cialis

Silicone Based Lube.

Stack of After Dark Magazines

Hey OP: this thread has been created a number of times over the years on DL, with varying degrees of success. What makes it funny are the little specific details that feel true to life.

You, and your version of this thread, are a complete failure.

Track lighting is early-mid 2000s. No self respecting homo would be caught dead with it nowadays.

You rang.

Tell us about millennial and Z apartments.

Trellised morning room.

Doilies under fruit.

Doilies covering fruit.

Wandering, aimless fruit.

What’s wrong with track lighting? Besides being out of fashion and no longer trendy.

R16 If I didn't know you were typing this under the dim light of a red chinese paper latern while smoking a Virginia Slim I might have cried a little. When are you going to finish your memoirs you think anyone is interested in reading?

Knee pads, tonsil depressors and pearls polish.

[quote] Track lighting is early-mid 2000s.

Oh honey just because you claim to look twenty years younger than you do doesn’t mean you can rewrite history

I read somewhere that in the early '80s, a popular morbid joke was that AIDS was caused by track lighting on industrial gray carpet.

Fancy food to feed their Fat Whore mouths.

frutta bomboniera in porcellana di Capodimonte

OP, you’re a VULGARIAN

appliques Venini

Chiavari chairs, Mid-century. Mid-century anything. Bauhaus, Wiener Werkstätte. Louis XVI with irony. Real Louis XVI.

All eldergay. This site is too demographically skewed.

French papier peint

I liked the rubber flooring of the 80s.

Fireplaces with everything except for wood in them. Candles, BOOKS, spray painted antlers. Huge gay man/frau crossover in this region.

fuck off OP and your self internalized homophobia.

Taste!

Boytoy in pumps.

R36 You're dumb.

B&B victoriana pastiche - Frau? Gay? Both?

Red bathroom.

Nude bodybuilder vaping and gaming. Gay? Straight? Fluid?

Bichon Frise

R41 I really love this actually. Those lamps. Couldn't spring for some liquid soap, though?

Hot, mature P.O.C. manservant

A handsome moor, in the flesh, sculpture or painting.

Vintage bottle of White Diamonds. Never belonged to Mother.

Straight guys drinking booze that the gay guy paid for.

I’ve been feeling there’s been something wrong for sometime. I don’t have any of these things in my home. I’m afraid I’m straight again.

I think many gay men on Dl have homes that look like that old cat lady's apartment on Mom.

At age 61 I will respond to this:

Things found in elder gay apartments

Diana Ross CDs - No, I turn to Spotify when I need her, which isn't often

Aramis Cologne - No, and never

A set of easily washable bed linens - No, I use blankets

Eye Cream - Gel, but guilty

Self Tanner - Nope

Spanx - No!

Low lighting in bedroom - Medium. Not bright.

Just for Men Beard and Moustache - Naturally gray

Cialis - Generic

Silicone Based Lube - Don't need it anymore

Stack of After Dark Magazines - Honey, that was when I was YOUNG!

Thanks for the treillage laugh, R20.

Unpaid bills.

Two, unused, out-of-code-date condoms.

Six half-empty lube bottles.

ED pills from a Canadian pharmacy.

A French press -never used.

A smart phone with Grindr, Scruff, BoyAhoy, Planet Romeo, Blued, Hornet, Surge, Jack'd, DaddyHunt, Recon, GROWLr, Chappy...

At age 67, I will reply, about 28 suits, 200 dress shirts, and 45 pairs of shoes, all in the closet. A pile of jeans, t-shirts, and hoodies on the floor in front of the closet Books more books even more books Animals sleeping on the furniture Both a Krups espresso machine and a Bunn coffeemaker in the kitchen, both used daily Tools for unfinished projects on the dining room floor, in toolboxes Three 100W bulbs in every ceiling fixture in the house-tired of mismatching my socks Yet more books, with DVDs piled on top of them Hooded canvas work jacket on a dining room chair

Mason Jars for making homemade jams, salad dressings, crafts, citronella candles...

Prozac 40mg; twice daily

Sling in basement.

I’m surprised no one has yet mentioned how our apartments are decorated with Hummel figurines and carnival glass candy dishes filled with decade-old hard candies. And Vick’s VapoRub! We use it as lube and believe it cures Corona virus.

Multiple old and mostly empty bottles of poppers.

Little buddha or bodhisattva statues or images, often in the bathroom.

A nightstand drawer with fun things have been well utilized!

Vicks VapoRub is a great lube, R58.

r54, are you actually using this thread to boast about your possessions?

My, my, my...

R63 My, my, my oooooo eeeee how did we ever get this way? Where’s it gonna go?

R63 The entire boast being a run-on sentence is far, far more disconcerting.

Actually, it wasn't written as a run on sentence, there were space breaks between the items. When posted, it ran together. Yes, I brag on my books, and my animals.

As long as you don't put the books in the fireplace or have them organized by color, R66.

Too many animals.

My first boyfriend had this Herb Ritts print.

R58 r62 Vick’s vaporub as lube. Haha buuuuuurrrrrrrnnnnnn...

No, not a burn. Ben-Gay would burn so badly you would be screaming.

But Vicks just gives a nice warmth.

OP, are you yourself a gay man?

Countless Playbills, Bette and Barbra albums, the complete set of Spice Girl Barbie dolls, tons of Marilyn Monroe decor, sculptures of men, something Ballet themed, old theater/concert tickets, cases of Diet Coke, bling, toss pillows, clocks with a Paris or London theme, matching towels....welcome to my apartment ladies!

[quote] Yes, I brag on my books, and my animals.

But not as much as about your clothes and your coffee machines.

Canoe

[quote] OP, are you yourself a gay man?

Robert Mapplethorpe prints and coffee table books

Patrick Nagel, r10! My parents had those in the 80's renovation of our house... when everything became shades of grey.

Most famous Nagel was Duran Duran, Rio album cover.

An old traffic cone, now repurposed as a prostrate massager.

Jockstraps, dildos, poppers, lube.

Scented candles

ME, usually in pairs if we are a gay couple.

I hated Nagel back in the day. Never go the appeal.

A Pup mask.

A Rainbow Bulldog harness. Leather for the 20's Worn more as a fashion item than as real leather gear.

Black nail polish. It's a thing now that younger guys use like woman but not meant to be seen as drag....even though it looks ridiculous.

Dick picks on his iPhone

Apps:

Grinder, Scruff, Recon, BoyAhoy, Planet Romeo

Screen burn in tuned to RuPauls Drag Race.

Fresh flowers

Vegan food delivery in a box.

Wow.. Another thread telling us how we should behave act dress and decorate. God forbid I decorate how I want.

While I'm not the most classic example of a gay man here's what you find in mine. A coin sorter, computers, mobile phones with scruff and grindr installed.

Then in the kitchen you'd find horrors, a food processor. That gets used.

I think it’s funny (especially in the context of this thread) that R51 doesn’t know what bed linens are.

It’s less funny if he’s actually sleeping on a stained, bare mattress on the floor with a blanket for warmth.

Or maybe that is funnier.

“Fred with Tires”, R69. We all had it in Germany. It could be easily taken down for “Emergency DeGayification” (Notentschwulung) when mom showed up for a visit. And stashed next to the Herbert List and George Platt-Lynes books.

Douche nozzle attachment to the shower or toilet.

R95 wins.

[quote]What’s wrong with track lighting?

I'm imagining this being said in Gloria Upson's voice, as when she said "What's WRONG with Muriel Puce?"

I am not “vulgar.”

No R98, you're a screaming queen posing as a workman.

Action figures, old TV Guides, lots of DVDs, comic books.

Hansel with Tires

The "bed linens" snark confuses me...

Uh, don't most people have bed "linens" aka "sheets"? I know top sheets are out of favor now (apparently millennials killed them) but who doesn't put a sheet on the mattress and use pillowcases?

Leather shorts.

Lamps dahling, many elaborate lamps!

Gay men cannot resist placing many shiny glowing lamps around the home

Old copies of Playgirl

Nagel? Nagel is for beauty salons and straight people who thought they were hip.

They true 70's "cultchah" queen had Mel Odom prints.

And the hardcore "cultchah" queens had Mel Odom dolls.

Leather harnesses, poppers, sex toys, meth, and a phone with every app available all with profiles saying #BBBH and #RawIsLaw but claiming to be on PrEP.

I don't have most of those things, but I DO have more shoes than Imelda Marcos.

Huge Didlo, meth syringe, leather harness, lube.

These tacky things...I've seen these in MANY a gay male home.

Oh, and this book is on many a coffee table

Cock rings

R113 they need to get that checked out. Looks like it has the sniffles.

R95, you beat me to it! LMAO!

R98 are you really, REALLY sure?

A dungeon themed second bedroom.

Extensive range of male grooming products In the bathroom

Taffeta, silk scarves, vodka.

A thriving ficus, velvety drapes, patchouli, extensive colognes on a glass bathroom shelf.

The Trove - Towle, watches, pens, guns, clocks, porn media

Puddly drapes

Clever furniture

My iPhone Contacts list includes names of men I had sex with once, men I had sex with four or five times (in other words, legitimate boyfriends), men willing to give me their numbers on the street (though they never responded to calls or texts and may have been intentionally wrong numbers), men who have long since died, and men whose names spark no memories at all.

My closet contains pants that would have fit me in 2003 or maybe even 2010 but they remain in my closet because soon enough I’ll lose those few pesky inches around my waist.

Those ugly Tiffany lamps.

More likely The Pendant Light with one-off features. It’s worth an ugly new car.

Cats

Books with pictures of cats

A b&w nude portrait of an older Tom Bosley

A wing suit

"I'm with Her" paraphernalia

Monogrammed smoker's robe

Frozen chicken nuggets

A sailor boy costume

At least one Skid Row wine

Anger, bitterness, resentment & hatred (All which are quite visible in many of the thread topics on this site)

Art Deco ashtrays owned by non-smokers

Silk pajamas

Teak folding screens

Aspidistras

A "curated" bar cart

Black velvet slippers with monograms

A beaded curtain as a bathroom door

A vintage car with a non-working taillight

A hideous painting or drawing of a naked man that they found in a little antique shop in New Hope and they think is an unsigned work by Paul Cadmus but it clearly isn't

A cat named Lionel

Sarcasm

Art leaned against the walls a la 1980's dorm room

Battered tulip chairs

Ugly hipsters

Sad chicken

Small-town atmosphere

They have the black-and-white photography of VULGARIANS!!!

Martini glasses.

Giant houseplants.

Mid-century modern furniture

Among about 1/3 one of the following: something to remind them of their AA or Crystal Meth Anonymous m er membership (e.g. printed meeting list, 1 year token, or coffee cup that with "Gay and Sober, Bitches, Jealous!" on it.)

R133, have you noticed we sobers remember being much sluttier in our addiction? I’ve met some unfuckable...never mind.

Regardless of faith, there’s a crucifix somewhere - yeah, vampires.

R18 Seems like a frau thing to me

A DVD of The Broken Hearts Club. There's no longer a player in order to watch it, but it's a comfort just knowing it's there.

Crazy color changing light lamp ( for meth party hookups)

Giant 10 ft floor mirror

Bruce Weber coffee table book, substitute LaChapelle, vogue uomo

Basket of vanity fair magazines in the bathroom

Pile of dirty laundry

Baby wipes

All the cast recordings of Gypsy

Travel guides for Barcelona and Sitges.

In my pink flat

By the sea

It's always 1963

On Cape Kennedy

Wait, did the eldergays all finally give up their Fiestaware?

Huge bottles of Davidoff Cool Water

Wait R140, Fiesta is gay?

Framed Tom Of Finland prints on their walls.

Some piece of "art" from Palm Springs

Several 10-year old Architectural Digests fanned out on the coffee table (with the special Elizabeth Taylor issue on top).

Plenty of mirrors.

Miss Agnes agrees R62!

Oh, you know, the usual...hands, feet, dicks, heads, dickheads...the (grocery) list goes on and on...

More of an elder thing...

[italic] Looking Good[/italic], and other books by Charles Hix

Dildos hidden in the underwear drawer.

Here’s a realistic list:

Jock-straps (at least one used one to sniff) Toys (that are never within arms reach when you need them) Poppers (nightstand) Laptop (for business) Tablet (for porn, mostly) Wine Gummy bears (you power bottoms know why) Vitamix Coffee maker (that gets routinely cheated on for Miss Starbucks) Shower shot Hair/Skin products (and an assortment of beard oils, in my case) Crest White Strips Make-up or at the very least tint Perfume (again: hi, power bottoms) Meds (everybody’s on something) Razors/shaving cream (for the waist down) At least one gay refrigerator magnet (“I ♥️ My Penis” FTW) At least one gay icon’s CD At least one gay book At least one item with a gay icon on it (Marilyn Monroe throw pillow) A cat or faggy little dog who likes to watch Photo of their favorite family member(s) Photo of their boyfriend

(Repost - easier you read)

Jock-straps (at least one used one to sniff)

Toys (that are never within arms reach when you need them)

Poppers (nightstand)

Laptop (for business)

Tablet (for porn, mostly)

Wine

Gummy bears (you power bottoms know why)

Vitamix Coffee maker (that gets routinely cheated on for Miss Starbucks)

Shower shot

Hair/Skin products (and an assortment of beard oils, in my case)

Crest White Strips

Make-up or at the very least tint

Perfume (again: hi, power bottoms)

Meds (everybody’s on something)

Razors/shaving cream (for the waist down)

At least one gay refrigerator magnet (“I ♥️ My Penis” FTW)

At least one gay icon’s CD

At least one gay book

At least one item with a gay icon on it (Marilyn Monroe throw pillow)

A cat or faggy little dog who likes to watch

Photo of their favorite family member(s)

Photo of their boyfriend

Bathroom full of multiple overpriced grooming products--several $50 bottles of shampoo is "masculine" scents, eye cream, moisturizer, hair clay, texturizer, boar bristle brush, two $40 bottles of shower gel, bronzer, $30 bottle of leave-in conditioner, $20 all-natural deodorant, $20 fluoride-free toothpaste, $200 electric toothbrush, lighted "shaving" mirror.....

Apparently I have a straight man's apartment.

Tasteful pictures of nude men

Hard to believe no one’s mentioned this:

Statue of Michaelangelo’s “David,” size dependent on level of ostentation of owner.

I’ve seen so many of these in gay men’s apartments, onscreen and off.

An entire drawer of jockstraps

Dildo collection

Meth pipe

R152 Vitamix and Coffee Marker are supposed to be separate

*maker

Scented candle in masculine scent like leather, wood smoke or cannabis

A set Wine Charms. God forbid you remember which glass was yours. Bonus points if people say they are cute.

So much nicer than a depressing lesbian apartment!

Dildos in the dishwasher

Nearly empty containers of Albolene

Something called "video head cleaner"

The distinct aroma of anal sex

Door handles that feel slightly greasy Sneakers, some missing the shoe laces Nose hair trimmers

Oh yeah Jock straps and Reebok bikini underwear. Got a dozen or so of those.

Weights that are only used in January after making the same New Years resolution every December, condoms in random drawers, blender, hair dryer

Wizard of Oz figurines.

R169 This is true. I have a little bullshit gym in one corner of my closet with my workout gear. Dumbbells, pull up bar, Perfect Push up, jump rope, ab wheel, resistance bands, and hand cranks. I remember a guy I hooked up with once busted out a few pull ups on the pull up bar after sex. Naked. I instantly wanted seconds. Damn.

R15....geez, you just described my apartment!

Poppers, Swiss Navy lube, a butt plug or 20, a wicker chair, caftans, speedos, a workout mat, alcohol.

"Things found in gay men's apartments"

other gay men

Or escorts depending on the age of the gay R174.

But no gay escorts!

No siree, Bob!

It's a Mary Magdalene thing. We're all gay Jesus and Jesus was a WHORE!

Crusty sheets and stale cum from multiple jerk-off sessions

A large dildo on the shower wall

In most definitely not self-control.